told you so

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

Alina Fairgrieves sat cross-legged on the top bunk of the room she shared with William Byers, holding a lighter out in front of her. Her finger slid over the trigger, letting a bluish-orange flame loose, and she watched it bloom into the air, forcing herself not to shrink away from it. Gritting her teeth, she instead brought it closer to her face—close enough so she could feel the heat, but not close enough to get burned—and held it there, forcing her hand not to shake, so as to not drop the silver cigarette lighter.

That'd be a good way to burn down the house, she thought, the mental image making herself still. It'd be quite the awful compensation for the Byers' kindness in taking her in by making their house go up in flames. Sucking in deep breaths through her clenched teeth, Alina brought the lighter even closer to her face, close enough that if she raised it even a little, she'd catch her eyelashes on fire.

Steady. Alina counted to thirty in her head. She'd been doing this lately, trying to conquer her irrational fears by forcing herself not to be afraid of them. Her fear of spiders she'd gotten rid of by forcing herself to rescue every spider she found and take it outside, instead of panicking and throwing objects it like usual, and she'd combatted her claustrophobia by sleeping in her closet for three nights straight.

Her fear of fire was a relatively new one, and it had come after James Dante had held a lighter up to her face a year ago. He'd, reasonably, thought that she'd burned him with one of her own when she zapped him with her energy, and had retaliated by threatening to burn her face if Mike didn't jump off the cliff in Hawkins Quarry.

And so this was the next fear she needed to conquer. She'd asked Joyce to borrow her lighter, and would hold it as close to her as she could stand and try not to shake. Lately, she'd become more and more daring with it, which was how she'd managed to burn her hand yesterday. It had hurt like hell, but now that what she feared had come to pass, Alina didn't find fire so scary anymore. Today was the most daring she'd gone with the lighter.

Skywalker, who was curled up on the bunk beside her, let out a meow suddenly, startling her and nearly causing her to drop it. Quickly, Alina took her thumb off the trigger and set it back on her desk, her heart racing. Then she turned to her cat.

Recently, the Byers' dog, Chester, had passed away, and though Alina had been reasonably devastated by his death, Skywalker had constantly been fighting with him, and would always beg to come into her room at three in the morning, effectively waking both her and Will up. Now, however, Skywalker was placated.

Alina reached out a hand to stroke her cat's fur. She'd tied a blue ribbon around his neck, just like her dad had done when he got Skywalker for her years ago, and looking at him now reminded Alina of that Christmas. The best one she'd ever had.

Just as she began to stroke Skywalker, who closed his big eyes and purred in contentment, the door to her room opened, and Will Byers entered.

Will smiled when he saw her petting Skywalker. "You done yet?" he asked excitedly, moving to his dresser drawer and beginning to rifle through his side of it. "Because we've got to get going soon. We don't want to be late, right?"

"I'm done." Alina swung her legs over the side of the bunk, and, with remarkable grace, jumped down to the floor, landing in a crouch. She'd finished her homework ages ago. "Got your coins?"

"Uh-huh." Will rifled through the bottom of his underwear drawer before pulling out a couple dollars. "Got mine. I've got—" his brow furrowed for a moment as he counted, "—eight quarters. Two dollars."

Alina smiled and opened her own drawer. Unlike Will, she had a more efficient means of hiding her cash, and that was in her box of tampons. If there was one place that she knew neither Will nor Jonathan would look, it was there.

As customary, Will turned around as she pulled it out. They'd created this challenge a couple of months ago; if Will finds Alina's money stash, he gets 50% of whatever's in there. Alina had accepted only because she knew Will would never find it. Anyway, as a rule of the challenge, whenever Alina was getting out her money, Will would have to either leave the room or turn around.

Alina pulled out sixteen quarters before putting the rest back in the box. She'd gotten the stash from babysitting Mike's younger sister, Holly, and today she would put it to use creaming Lucas Sinclair's sorry ass at Pac-Man. As one did.

"I still don't understand how I haven't found it yet," Will sighed after turning back around. "We share a room! It shouldn't be that hard!"

Alina smiled, reaching out to ruffle Will's soft brown hair, and he let out a cry of indignation, batting her arm away. Alina let out a laugh and Will rolled his eyes, leaning forward. "So? How much do you have, anyway?"

"Four dollars," she replied.

Alina had decided not to tell anyone about what she'd seen yesterday. After that strange moment where she'd seemed to disappear, nothing else had happened, leaving her to believe that she'd just been hallucinating. She hadn't been sleeping well lately, waking up every night with nightmares so horrific that even the toughest of people would be hard-pressed to not be at least a little scared of.

She knew that Will had nightmares, too, as bad as her own, about the Upside Down and the monsters that stalked it, but lately he'd been sleeping a little better than she did. And, unlike Will, when Alina had a nightmare, she didn't wake up screaming, instead waking up in frozen terror, her throat muscles too seized by fear to even whisper.

"And you got that money from babysitting?" Will replied now.

"Yup. You really missed out on not coming with me." Alina cocked an eyebrow at him, smug. "I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so."

Will giggled. "Okay, okay. I messed up. But come on, Al! We've got to go!"

Before they could leave their room, however, the walkie-talkie propped up on Will's desk crackled. "Will? Al? It's Dustin."

Will rushed to it. "Hey, Dustin. We copy."

Alina picked up her own. "Hey. How much do you have?"

"Me and Lucas have six dollars in total. Over."

"So do we," Will piped up. "Did you go scrounging under your cushions again?"

There was a pause before Dustin's sheepish voice crackled out again. "...Maybe."

"We'll see you soon," said Alina after letting out a laugh at the thought of Dustin scrabbling for change. She figured Lucas had done some kind of help for the neighbors, like she'd done, to get his money, Will had been saving his allowance, and Mike... Mike had probably stolen Nancy's change. Again. "Bye, Dustin."

"See ya, Fairgrieves. And you too, Byers. Over and out."

"Alright." Alina repacked her walkie-talkie in her backpack and set it down on her bed before turning to Will. "You ready to be beaten, Will the Wise?"

"You wish." Will grinned back, and the two of them walked into the kitchen, where Joyce was scrubbing plates after dinner. She smiled when she saw the two thirteen-year-olds coming over.

"You two ready?" she asked.

"Yep!" Will pulled on his jacket before gesturing at Joyce to hurry. "C'mon, mom! We don't want to be late!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Joyce laughed, and the three of them headed out. Will called shotgun, sitting in the front seat, and Alina sat in the back, strapping her seatbelt and preparing to meet her friends. The Palace arcade was a relatively new addition to Hawkins, Indiana, and it had done what countless frustrated parents had been able to do—it got their kids out of the house.

As they rode off, Alina leaned her head against the cool window of the car, trying to lose herself in the music. She hated times like these, when she was alone with her thoughts. She'd end up going back to the night her father died, seeing his bloody body blossom in front of her again and again. See Eleven's sad eyes and she said her final goodbyes to her friends. Hear her piercing scream as she finished the Demogorgon once and for all.

Stop it. Alina banged her head lightly against the window, trying to stop the memories from flooding back in. With a hiss, she clenched her fists, letting her nails dig into her palms. Don't think of them. Don't think of them. Don't think of his broken body. Don't think of Eleven's sad face. Just stop, Alina.

Will looked back at her, and, seeming to sense her discomfort, turned up the music. Alina closed her eyes and let it fill her, until there was nothing around her except for the song playing. It was one of the other coping strategies she had for this issue, and so, while she listened, Alina found her fists unclenching.

"You okay, honey?" Alina opened her eyes to find Joyce eyeing her through the rearview mirror. Alina swallowed thickly, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm fine. It's just—sometimes I can't help but think about them."

"That's okay, Alina." Joyce's voice was soothing, as if she really cared. As if she was the mother that Alina had always craved.

Alina let out a sigh, rubbing her nose. "Why am I still here?" she said aloud. "I should be in foster care or something. Taking me in for a year... I don't know how to repay that."

"You don't have to," said Joyce. "You're part of the family now, Alina. And you couldn't leave us, anyway, because of your check-ups, remember?"

After the events of last year, both Alina and Will would go to Hawkins Lab for regular check-ups. Alina was tested to see if her abilities returned, while Will's health was examined, as he was the only one who'd survived the toxic environment of the Upside Down, and the scientists had no idea of what effects that might have on his body.

The difference was that Alina only had to go once every two months, while Will found himself heading there every couple of weeks, sometimes more if he had an episode. She'd never say it, but Alina was glad she got to go in less. She hated the place. Hated all of the people that spoke so patronizingly to her. Hated the hospital gown and the wired headpiece she was forced to wear, reminding her uncomfortably of Eleven.

The hospital gown was paper-thin, too, and the mere sight of Hawkins Lab was enough to send shivers down her spine.

"You're right," Alina said now. "Sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry, Al," said Will from the front seat. "We all really like having you here, and you'll be done the check-ups once they're sure your abilities aren't coming back." After a moment, he tilted his head like a confused puppy, his big brown eyes wide. "They aren't coming back, right?"

"Not to my knowledge." And good riddance. Although she'd finally realized the secret to controlling them a little better before they were ripped away, Alina knew that her abilities would make her feel like even more of a monster than she already was.

Alina bit on her nail, tearing it off with her teeth, and sat in silence for the rest of the car ride until they reached Palace Arcade. As the car was about to pull into the parking lot, Alina spotted three figures dismounting their bikes. Three figures she knew quite well.

Dustin, Mike and Lucas looked up at the sound of Joyce's horn, which she'd laid her hand on after recognizing the boys. They all smiled at the sight of their friends, and Will and Alina both rolled down their windows. "Hey!"

"Hi, guys!" Alina called, waving at them. As usual, the butterflies made their migration through her stomach when she caught Lucas's eyes, but she pushed them away. She was getting quite good at that. Pretending she still didn't like him, pretending her feelings for him didn't grow every day.

Joyce set the car into park and turned to the two teenagers. "Okay. So, I'm going to pick you two up in two hours," she began. "That's nine o'clock on the dot, okay?"

"Okay, okay." Will was bouncing in his seat, anxious to be with his friends, and Alina had already unbuckled her seatbelt, one hand on the door. She was excited to numb her brain for a few hours with video games, forgetting about the troubles that plagued her in the real world.

"If anything happens," Joyce continued, "if you need to come home, just ask them to use their phone and call home. Okay? Don't—"

"Don't walk or bike home," finished Will. "I know." He was beginning to open the door when Joyce stopped him yet again.

"Okay, but sweetie—"

"Mom, we have to go!"

"Have fun," smiled Joyce, as the two teens got out of the car. Alina raised her arm and waved goodbye to Joyce Byers before she and Will ran up to see their friends.

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

a/n: and here we finally are! i am so, so excited to finally be posting the first chapter of mad'ouk! it's going to be a bumpy ride, folks! 

alina isn't the girl she was in acatalepsy, is she? this book will be focusing a lot on the trauma from her dad and eleven's (apparent) death, so don't expect to see the alina from the last book, at least not for a while.

hope you enjoyed this chapter! make sure to comment and vote if you did! :)

'till next time!