warnings: male pregnancy

words: 2821

inspired: continuation of "dancing queen (17)"

written: august 2023

published: november 30th 2023

notes:
feels a little incomplete, idk

»»————-　★　-————««

Jeongin and Chan were cuddling in the older's bed, the younger dozing off in his boyfriend's arms that were wrapped around his petite body while the blonde's fingers, that had slipped underneath his shirt, lightly caressed the soft skin on the Korean's back. He lovingly looked down at him and kissed his forehead, making a smile erupt on the younger's face.

"I love you," he softly whispered, eyes sparkling in the dim light, making Jeongin bite his lip before lifting himself up and getting on top of his boyfriend's chest. "Well, I love you more," the younger grinned down and softly connected their lips, moving with each other while Chan's hand wandered to Jeongin's neck. "Not possible when I love you even more," the Australian said after they had broken their kiss, only to dive right back in, lifting up his upper body to sit on the mattress.

The brown haired now settled on Chan's lap and wrapped his arms around the older's neck, deepening their kiss and clawing his fingers into the Australian's blonde locks. Jeongin was starting to rock back and forth on Chan's crotch, creating friction and already feeling the twitching, the older grunting into his mouth, when suddenly silent sounds of crying came from across the room.

The two looked up, yet nothing else followed, so Jeongin just shrugged and immediately continued what he was doing, Chan's erected dick now rubbing between his cheeks, making Jeongin whine out loud as he felt it pushing against his entrance, cheeks reddened and body heated with desire.

Just when Jeongin began circling his pelvis and started to slightly bounce on Chan's dick, another, louder cry erupted that made Chan look up from Jeongin's neck that he had latched onto. His head turned to their daughter, ready to get up, when the Korean placed his hand on the blonde's cheek and turned his head back towards him. "Let her cry, hyung," he panted and swallowed thickly. "Fuck me."

"Babe-" Jeongin shook his head. "She will survive those few minutes, I just fed her so she's not gonna die if we have a quick fuck," he raised his brows, diving down to Chan's collar bones, kissing his skin and sucking a little, until he was interrupted by a sudden scream and a loud crying sound. "Urgh," Jeongin threw his head back in annoyance and laughed, slowly getting off Chan's lap and pressing down onto his boner to calm it down.

"I'm sorry, Innie," Chan sighed and tried to suppress his own hardened dick, Jeongin on the other hand chuckled. "It's not your fault, you're right, I should be sorry." The blonde immediately shook his head, putting a stray hair strand behind Jeongin's ear. "Baby, I am just as horny as you are, it's not your fault either," he caressed his cheek before quickly connecting their lips. "I'll get her, yeah?" Jeongin nodded with a small smile, watching as his boyfriend got up and adjusted his crotch before walking over to Minhee, lifting her out of her tiny bed.

"Hey, honey, it's okay," he mumbled against her head and kissed her forehead, slowly returning to the bed where he settled down next to Jeongin, who took the baby into his arms.

•

"Shhh, it's okay, Minhee," Jeongin jumped off his chair as he was doing his homework, and walked across the room to the crib his daughter was lying in. He carefully picked her up, pressing the little girl against his chest to calm her down while her tiny fingers tightly grabbed into his oversized shirt he stole from Chan. "I'm here, you're fine," his voice was quiet, not reaching the baby that couldn't understand him anyway.

It frustrated him that he was not yet able to fully communicate with Minhee. He loves her, he really does, but he definitely underestimated what a students life with a baby was going to be like. He constantly had to stay up late to take care of her, got woken up in the middle of the night when he already went to bed late because she was crying. It was just getting a little too much, but his ego was too big to get help.

It's not like Chan did not help him at all, but Jeongin went back to living with his parents and Chan was very busy with school and working all day, which frustrated the Korean. There is always two people to create a baby, so he actually wanted to call his boyfriend and ask for help, but he was scared to annoy him. Especially if it was in the middle of the night, Chan barely got any sleep due to upcoming exams and he did not want to take the few hours away from him.

"Minhee, please," his voice started to sound desperate after five minutes of rocking her up and down, yet nothing helped. Her cries kept only getting louder and no one was at home to help him. She couldn't be hungry or need a new diaper because he just fed and changed her, which made panic rise through his veins, his hearbeat picking up while he started to feel dizzy from hyperventilating slightly. The world around him turned, his vision doubled and the sounds of Minhee echoed in his ears, bouncing off the walls and coming back to him.

He tried everything possible to calm her down next, gave her her pacifier, then tried to play with her little Wolfie and eventually put heating pads onto her stomach to ease possible pain. Nothing helped. Nothing.

Tears were starting to form in his eyes after he ran out of ideas and he began pacing around in his room in panic, his legs trembling, knees buckling and nearly making him fall to the ground while he caressed Minhee's head and softly pushed it into his shoulder as his fingers began to cramp. When she then once again took a breath for a new cry, all broke lose and the tears started to rapidly run down his reddened cheeks, sobs shaking his petite body as he carefully sank to the ground due to his legs eventually giving in, his arms tightly wrapped around his baby to keep her as close to his body as possible and just have something to hold onto.

"Please stop crying," he desperately whispered to her and sniffed, then grabbed a fluffy blanket that was lying close to him with shaking hands to wrap it around them, still keeping his daughter close to his chest. As soon as the blanket was wrapped around her and the warmth started to engulf them, she eventually got quieter, yet still did not stop crying, she just went down on volume which, nevertheless, relieved Jeongin and his eardrums.

Fifteen minutes of just sitting there followed next, filled with rocking the baby, silently crying to himself and his chest shaken by sobs made her eventually calm down because her big doe eyes kept falling shut while her crying ebbed away after another five minutes of caressing her back. "Oh my God," Jeongin whispered to himself, the tears getting more again due to pure salvation and sparkling in the pale moonlight shining through the window.

"Let's get to bed, yeah?" Jeongin mumbled with a quiet voice and slowly got onto his feet to not scare the baby in his arms. So after he securely stood on his legs and Minhee had closed her eyes while breathing evenly, Jeongin went straight to his bed and couldn't care less about his unfinished homework still lying on his desk. He could not risk making his daughter cry again even if it meant to show the teacher unfinished homework.

The Korean carefully slipped under his cover and placed the little girl, still covered with the fluffy blanket, on his chest before kissing her head where his lips lingered for a few second. "Good night, sweetie," he mumbled and fake smiled to himself, a last tear drop silently rolling down his temple.

•

"Hey, I wanted to ask if you have time to come over? We just haven't spent a lot of time together and I miss you," Jeongin laid in his bed with his phone pressed to his ear as he nervously gulped because it felt like he just confessed his love to a stranger. "Uh, yeah, I'm a little busy right now, so, uhm, I don't know," Chan on the other end of the line answered and put one of his school folders into his backpack. That and the lack of the Chan he fell in love with made Jeongin's lip quiver while his eyes began to water, already glazed over and tears threatening to fall.

"Hyung, please," the Korean pleaded, his voice filled with desperation which Chan of course picked up, worry starting to flood over him. "Baby, are you okay?" the blonde visibly worried asked and nearly jumped off his chair to run into the hallway to put on his shoes. A sniffle followed with a quick "Yeah, yeah, I'm.. I'm okay. Just, please come over," he almost whispered into the microphone while a singular tear dripped down that he immediately wiped away.

"Jeongin, baby, I'll hurry, okay?" The rustling of the older grabbing his jacket and keys could be heard, Jeongin humming as an answer because if he said something now, he would break down. "I love you, you hear?" Chan's brows furrowed in worry, followed by a silent nod and another sniffle from Jeongin's side.

"Your mom let me in," the Australian cleared his throat and knocked on the open door, stepping into the dimly lit bedroom of his boyfriend. He quickly walked over to the younger's bed and sat down next to him, unsure if he should grab his hand or not, deciding against it to not make Jeongin uncomfortable, which, in return, made Jeongin think Chan was avoiding him, a wave of sadness hitting him.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk about?" Chan pursed his lips and scratched the back of his head. "About us," Jeongin gathered all his courage and looked his boyfriend into the eyes, whose face contorted into confusion. "What- What do you mean?" the blonde now began to panic, eyes wandering all over Jeongin's face.

Jeongin laughed out loud. "You've been avoiding me and it hurts, Hyung," the brunette began, voice trembling with fear and anger before looking to the ground. "You're my fucking boyfriend, Chan, you're supposed to communicate with and take care of me. You're supposed to be with me."

Another laugh followed while a tear rolled down his cheek that he quickly wiped away with his sweater paw. "We haven't kissed in a month and it just hurts so much to not feel your love around me. It hurts to not fall asleep next to you. It hurts to not be in your arms and cuddle with you when I need you while you obviously don't give a fuck about what I feel. What Minhee feels."

To that Chan thickly swallowed because he did only now realise how little time they had spent together recently. They haven't seen each other for a whole month and only shared a quick smile on the school hallway when they bumped into each other. "I.. I didn't mean to-"

"But you did!"

Jeongin jumped onto his feet and towered over his boyfriend. "We have a damn child together, Chan, you could have at least checked in on her from time to time instead of completely avoiding us." Another tear had escaped his eye that he just ignored while Chan sat there like a five year old getting scolded with the urge to just take Jeongin into his arms. "Do you not love me anymore?" Jeongin's lips quivered once again, more salty liquid running down his cheeks. "You could have told me," he whispered.

"Jeongin, of course I love you!" Chan said, visibly shocked. "I am so sorry, but everything is just too much for me right now. My finals are in a month and I just think a baby is too much for me right now. I never thought about having children this early and I definitely underestimated how much energy it takes to look after her. I.. I didn't know what to do," the Australian got up as well, getting closer to his boyfriend who backed up, Chan's hand that he had reached out with to grab Jeongin's hand flinching back.

"What do you think how I feel, Chan? I was fucking sixteen years old when I got pregnant and surely did not do that on purpose. I am the one taking care of her, I am the one feeding her in the middle of the night and I am the one that is with her all the time while all you do is ignore her existence! She is our child, Chan. She is yours too, so be fucking responsible for once and take care of your child!" Jeongin nearly screamed at the other.

"Sometimes I ask myself what if I hadn't decided to have her, sometimes I even regret throwing away my youth for a fucking child, but I still love her to the moon and back nevertheless. But it seems like you don't give a shit about us right now. You were able to fuck me and make me a child, so you are able to be a man and support me, for fuck's sake!" The Korean's body had started trembling mid-sentence, trying to get rid of his tears from time to time, yet eventually giving up because new ones kept following.

"You're not the only one regretting things and having thrown your life away, Jeongin. A child was just as much of a change for you as it was for me. We were irresponsible children fucking around and did not understand what a baby meant for our future. Jeongin, I love you both."

"Mhm, sure," the younger laughed once again, looking into the air to not look at his boyfriend.

"I'm just not ready to be a father right now. I was so euphoric when your were pregnant and I wish I could go back to that time and have her in my arms for the first time, but when I'm older. Not now."

"And what are we gonna do now? Are you just gonna fuck off like you always do?"

Silence.

"Fuck you, Christopher."

"Baby-"

"Don't 'baby' me, I don't know how to feel right now. The father of my child and the man I want to spend the rest of my life with not giving a fuck about his baby that he oh so loved after she was born is not the greatest experience."

"I never said I don't love her, I just don't think I'm a great father, okay?! I was so scared you and Minhee would hate me with how bad I am at taking care of you two because I'm just so fucking scared to do the wrong things!"

To that Jeongin gulped, he didn't know that Chan was so insecure about being a good father and scared to mess up their relationship.

"I could never hate you, Channie" Jeongin sniffled and began shaking, a gaze full of love finding Chan's, biting his lip to suppress the tears that had once again formed in the inner corners of his eyes. "Well, I can't exactly say you have been the best dad and boyfriend the past month, but you did so great, Hyung. Minhee loves you so damn much, she constantly asks about you and is worried because you don't show up."

To that, Chan's eyes watered as well. "I am so sorry, ba- Jeongin. I didn't know she would-" He was quickly cut off. "Of course she would and that's why I was so pissed off! You neglected your child when she was asking for you every single day and I always had to tell her that daddy won't come over! My heart shattered whenever I looked into her sad eyes and her quivering lips while asking me if her father doesn't love her anymore! It fucking hurt, okay?!" He pursed his lips.

"It hurt," Jeongin whispered and started sobbing, making Chan immediately rush over to him to wrap his arms around Jeongin's petite body. "Shh, baby. I'm here. I'm here now. I didn't know my cowardice would affect you both this much," the Australian gulped and rubbed his hands over Jeongin's back, his fingertips drawing circles and doodling other tiny things.

"I love you, so much, okay? And I always will. I'm sorry I was being a dick to the people I love the most on this planet." Jeongin chuckled, snuggling against the chest he had been longing for and loving the feeling of these strong muscular arms wrapped around him to keep him safe, head leaned against Chan's shoulder.

"The biggest dick ever. In several ways."