"She grew up lovely...the perfect daughter whom I could never bear on my own. Always an adventurer...always asking questions...and always generous with her laughter. Her father and I are blessed in that sense. It was never that hard to raise her. She can sleep wherever she wants, she never complained. She wasn't a...picky baby...if you can understand it. Everyone who knew her loves her for it. Her teachers would tell me that she has an amazing mind and soul...it was our fault for not thinking that there'll be an expiry date," She sighed a weak laugh, shaking her head very slightly.

"It was a Science project - I still remember like it was yesterday. A simple DNA tests to create a cardboard of your family tree. She took the strands on my hairbrush and she teased her father on a grey hair before plucking two out. We didn't know what it was for...not until she found out on her own. We knew she felt like it was a letdown...she was good at hiding her feelings at the time -"

"She wasn't mad at you? For hiding it, I mean,"

Mrs Manobal is staring at him with a small smile still, but her eyes suddenly seemed a little different to him. Like a teared-out, tired woman. A minute passed before she continues with, 

"I think she understood why we didn't tell her. She was always a good observer, you know...I knew she thought about how we raised her...how we love her...we were worried but she slept soundly that night. But the next day...the next day - that was the start of everything, really,"

"She presented it...in front of her class. I asked her teacher about it...he said she was smiling, as usual...but her classmates...they didn't take it as calm and maturely as she did. Some asked her if she knows where she comes from and some laughed...it didn't sound like much when her teacher said it, but she came back being quieter than usual. That's when she started asking if we knew where she's from. And we can only say so much...she was only 15 at the time..."

Jungkook nods slowly, trying to imagine how 15-year-old Lalisa could've looked like with her enthusiastic smile in front of her classroom, telling everyone that her DNA didn't match with her parents'. She was brave...even then...

"We weren't sure at first - what she had to deal with at school...the things kids called her. They were all her friends. It was hard to hear the names that they gave her. It took a toll on her, after a while. She kept things inside, didn't want to worry us about it - but we see it. It seems that the more she uncovered, the lesser we see her. Changes...little by little...until it's no longer controllable...recognizable,"

"We sent her for a check-up after her first episode...it was at school...you can imagine how much worse it got for her after. Countless therapy sessions followed after - all the way until she graduated. By then, she no longer has friends. Her support system was only us...and the people working closely with us. Her father works with the Republic of Aucon embassy and he travels to places...countries, to here. That's how we got her before, anyway. One day when he came back, she asked us...if she could come here to find her mother," She sighed.

"You want to know why we let her, Jungkook-ssi..." The smile is sad...resigning even. "It's because we needed to. We have done our parts and this is not our journey to walk on, it is hers. She got sick because she couldn't let it go. Because every night, she dreamt about waking up in the dark tunnel, and it scared her. She's always scrambling to get out. It enraged her...because she knew she didn't deserve it,"

"She told us that once this is all done - that once she has seen her mother, she'll come back to us and she will be in her best form yet. And we...we trusted her. We trusted our babygirl and right now...right now, we're still keeping that trust,"

"But you won't let her out? You won't let me see her?" He finds himself impatient.

"She gets tired, Jungkook-ssi. Every time it occurs, she'll be so drained out that she'll have to sleep for a day or two -"

"It's been 5 days, ahjumma...I only need to see her, I'll be really quiet -"

The woman sighed again, much deeper this time. "She doesn't want to see you,"

Jungkook felt like his chest just dropped to the ground. "You're lying...she doesn't even know I'm here -"

"She spoke about you. I knew from the moment you came up and introduced yourself to me...you're exactly like what she said..." Mrs Manobal tilts her head and eyes him as if she hasn't studied him enough. "She was under heavy medications when she rambled about you, but I knew that they were all true...that it came purely from her heart,"

"She said you're a nice, honest boy who keeps staring at her...chasing her, asking if you can be her friend. She said you never gave up, even when she told you to. She spoke of how she felt when you're around...'calm'...'normal'...'special'...all good things. And she's upset when your friends doesn't like her. They reminded her of her own friends, from back then. Now...and this is the most important part that I want you to understand, Jungkook-ssi..." Lalisa's mother leans forward.

"She said that it really...truly upsets her when you get hurt. That it makes her want to kill whoever it was who hurt you," The stare is filled with unspoken conclusion, and Jungkook's eyes widened by the realization.

That boy in the store...Suho...was that why she beats them to a pulp? Because they hurt me? And that day - "No..." Is she...did she try to harm herself because of me -

"Do you understand it now, Jungkook-ssi?"

"I need to see her! I need - ahjumma, I need to tell her that it's okay! That I'm okay and she didn't mean it - I know she didn't mean it!" His eyes are already blearing and his breathing came with sobs. "Please...you can't let her think that way - she needs to hear it! She needs me - she said I calmed her -"

"Jungkook-ssi, you need to calm yourself down first,"

How...how can I be calm to hear any of these?? It was an accident - damn it!! "You need to tell her, please...I'll wait - I'll wait right here but you need to tell her that I'm alright -"

"She knows you're alright, we told her that. But it won't change anything, Jungkook-ssi -"

"Then tell her again -"

"She doesn't want you close anymore, you need to let her go!"

"No!!" He got up and his hands are already tugging in his hair, infuriated at the ridiculous thought of him 'letting her go'.

"Jungkook-ssi," The woman got up to face him. "You can't keep running barefoot mindlessly in the woods when you've protected your feet your entire life. You'll keep stepping on thorns and rocks, and you'll bleed to death! She is not someone that you can fix in a day or two -"

"I don't wanna fix her - I wanna fix me!!" He screamed with tears running down his face, suddenly oblivious to the fact that this is not someone who knows him personally. "Please, I can't live with myself if she thinks she hurts me...I promised her that I'll run to her - barefoot or not - I'll run to her if she calls for me -"

"'If' she calls for you," Mrs Manobal places a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. "If she calls for you, I'd be more than happy to welcome you, Jungkook-ssi. If she calls for you, I'll let her run to you too,"

. . .

They say grief comes in many stages, but Jungkook only knew two. 

The first hits from the moment he stepped out of Lalisa's house compound. He found himself staring around at many nothingness to catch someone - something (or an opportunity maybe), to roots his feet to the ground. 

He couldn't tell how heavy his thoughts were, nor how long the white gate has been closed before he walked away with tears dripping off his chin. His journey back home has felt like the longest walk he's ever had, and the night didn't feel like a night at all. No, it felt like he's been living through dark nights all his life so his mind was working just about right.

The second came like a gentle tug on his shirt. For 3 days straight, Jungkook has been turning around with no hesitations and are met with highlights of memories with Lalisa. It always felt like too-short-of-a series, while he tells himself to find more. 

He would glance across his shoulders in class, seeing her 'ghosts' ignoring his stares. He would stop by the lecture hall where he stopped her from shoving that girl's head through the door, and he would stand by the parking lot where Lalisa always parked her bike, recalling the many times she brushed him off. The CU store was his favourite out of all, because that was the first place where she cared and smiled to him.

How strange is it to have tasted 'life' and going back into the dullness of four walls, he thought. He constantly feels like an aimless wanderer around here, while she is a bird - with a pair of grace-strong wings that roams across her marked mountains. 

His friends are still trying...a much better effort (he could tell) with Chaeyoung asking if he'll ever visit Jennie Kim again. She tagged to come along (for some weird reason unknown to him) when he went to deliver the news to Jisoo. Jisoo...

The elder's smile is getting warmer every time he re-appears, he realized. Perhaps she felt sorry for Jungkook over his deep and constant care about Lalisa. He mentioned that if she cares for her enough too, she should take up the girl's advice and move to Geum. He didn't get thrown out after blabbering about it, so he has high hopes that it's somewhat considered. 

His parents (although worried), are pretending that nothing's ever happened (which is partly good because 'counselling' is no longer on the dinner table). Jungkook isn't bothered by it. He knows his mother well enough to say that the woman don't hold grudges very long, so he welcomes the 'time-off' for now.

On the fourth day (where 'missing Lalisa' hours are opened wide), Jungkook visited Namjoon and decided that this is all 'bullshit' (he learned that word from his 'hyung', who previously learned it from Jackson). The elder said to him that it shouldn't matter what everyone else in the world thinks, and since Jungkook has been determined with her before, why can't he still be that now?

So on the fifth after class, he brought a portable chair and an umbrella, parked himself in front of her house, and takes out his books to read or papers to do his assignments. Not many activities circulated around him and inside the house, but he did catch the weird looks of Bam when the guy went out for a while, and when he came back with grocery bags. 

Jungkook did this for the next 4 days, all the same. 'Amy' came out two times a day after, giving him glasses of water (despite him saying that he's ready and packed with it). Mrs Manobal came out once to ask him what he was doing. He knew that the woman meant 'why are you here' but his smiling answer of 'I'm only reading, don't let me bother you, ahjumma' seemed to be good enough. 

He's thankful that it's been good weather - the only thing that could move him from that spot was the appearance of the moon, high above his head. But today...today, the moon is calling in sick. And it is also the day when he finally had to use the umbrella. It started drizzling 6 minutes ago but the droplets are becoming thicker by the second. As he hurried himself to pack his books and torchlight back into the bag, the white gate opens. Bam came out with his own umbrella and gestured him to come in. 

"You're a stubborn one, aren't you?" The guy smirked.

"I prefer 'committed'..." He answered, following Bam towards the front door. 

When the guy opens it, Jungkook hesitates. As much as he wants to see Lalisa, he isn't sure if he could come in...if the owner of the house even allows it. Maybe it's a trap? Maybe they're trying to get rid of me -

"She's waiting for you upstairs," 

In his mind, he's already asking "Who? Lalisa or her mother?", but it wouldn't make a difference. His feet are quick after that - climbing the stairs behind Bam while anxiously looking around to find at least, Lalisa's shadow. They passed by 3 rooms before Bam opens the door of the fourth, and Jungkook's breath hitched when he sees her.

Pale skin and a bandage across the crook of her elbow. Messy golden hair on a long, white nightdress. She looks like she had lost a little weight! My little monster...what have they done to you?? 

Lalisa is standing by her window, facing him. Jungkook vaguely hears the door closing behind him but he wouldn't have checked for anyone else in the room to let his feet rush towards her. Pulling her into his arms, Jungkook can't help but cry. 

"I was so worried!" He sobbed in forced hushes. "I tried to find you but - but I couldn't and I - I thought - I thought I lost you!!" 

He felt the gentleness of her palms, tapping and rubbing his back. "Jungkook-ssi..."

Oh, I miss her voice! I miss her calling me that - "I miss you! I miss you so much!!"

"Jungkook," The croak in her voice made him pull apart. 

Holding her at arms length, he began studying her state. She feels weak and she looks weak...there are bags under her pretty, half-numbed, round eyes - her eyes look teary too. Is it because she misses me too? Or is it because she hates seeing me here?

"Don't send me away, please..." Jungkook pleads before anything else. "I...I don't care about what happened - and I wasn't hurt either! I'm fine - look!" He makes a full turn - spreading his arms open to prove his point. "See? There's nothing for you to worry about, Lisa," He gives his biggest grin, despite the clear stains that he's aware are on his cheeks.

A small smile curved up on her pale lips and he wonders if he can just kiss her here and then. "I'm not sending you away, Jungkook-ssi..." She sighed. "I believe you can do that...all on your own," 

Oh...since she still has the energy of being cheeky with me - He leans forward and plants a gentle kiss on her soft lips. It felt wonderful when she doesn't push him away...and it felt heavenly when she returns it tenderly. 

"Can you...do something for me, Jungkook-ssi?" She asked when they're apart, looking down to the carpet under her feet.

"Anything...except if you ask me to leave, of course, cus I won't! I mean...I'd leave but I'll still come back -" He stopped mumbling when she giggled. 

"Can you tell your eomma that you're not going back tonight? That you'll be here...with me?"

Oh wow...that's...I mean... Even with his brain not functioning properly, his hand is already taking his phone out to call his mother. 

. . .

It's a quiet house. Lalisa asked him to freshen up, so he did. She asked Bam to give him some spare clothes, to which the guy did. And she asked him to take Jungkook downstairs for dinner while she has hers served in the bedroom by Amy, so they did. 

Jungkook knew that she would have to take her 'medications' too - whatever it being - so he took his time in chewing, knowing that Lalisa wouldn't want him to see her like 'that'. All throughout this process, he only heard a few noises.

Hushed voices and careful steps, glass plates on the table, and the rain outside. Nothing else. It makes him wonder if these vigilant, orderly conducts are a way to help Lalisa 'heal'...but he's too cautious to asks. 

"Your injuries...are they alright now?" Bam suddenly asks. 

He nods, rubbing his free palm off the cotton fabric of his thigh. The meaty stew is warm and rich-tasting, but he's still couldn't find comfort within this silent surrounding. 

"You must be a little overwhelmed...I'm Bam, by the way. We haven't been properly introduced -"

"You're supposed to look out for her," He muttered without thinking. Seeing the slight raised on Bam's eyebrows, Jungkook pulls up courage to say more. "I heard you...at her lobby the day before. You said you're also here to look out for her...but you didn't. Not when she was at school, not at the store...or the street. And not when she jumped over that gate,"

"I'm not her bodyguard, Jungkook-ssi...if that's what you're thinking,"

"Then what are you?" Jungkook studies the guy. He looks comfortable enough to be wearing a tee and shorts in this house -

"I'm just like you," Bam smiles and he wonders what on earth could possibly be similar about them. "A staff...an acquaintance...she can call me whatever she likes. If she asks for anything...I'll get it to her. And if she asks me to stay away, I'll keep myself hidden,"

"You're not from here...are you?"

"No, I'm not. I'm from Krusada, up north. I traveled...got into some pretty bad companies...and ended up at the juvenile centre in Elandrew. Her parents bailed me out...and I didn't want to return, so I've been working for them since,"

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why didn't you want to go home?"

"Because there's nothing at home. My parents passed away when I was nine and eleven. I'm an only child and there weren't much to do in a small village of 60. I figured I'll be better off seeing the world...and then her parents brought me in, and I saw her,"

Jungkook keeps his gaze firm. "Do you like her?"

The guy sighed a few laughs. "I try not to, but it's quite hard - I'm sure you can relate,"

Oh...I guess I can. But he's been with the family since way back when...while I only spoke to her mother twice. This lucky son-of-a-gun gets to see her everyday -

"Don't have to glare, Jungkook-ssi. She doesn't think of me as her 'friend', if that's what you're worried about,"

Was I glaring? Pshh what for?? I'm her friend - I'm even more than just a 'friend' - I've got nothing to be jealous of!

"Where is um..." He try regaining his composure. "Where's her father? I don't think I've seen him -"

"He came and stayed for 2 days. Spoke to the authorities and lawyers...your Head of Faculty...and then left to prepare the necessary arrangements back home. He'll meet us at the airport tomorrow,"

"Airport?" Arrangements - what arrangements?? Are they leaving? Are they bringing her back with her? No...

"You should know this, Jungkook-ssi. Have a clue of it, at least. This is not her home. She will, one day, leave this place,"

But...but I thought we have time! I thought I'm finally getting the time with her - we...I need more time!

. . .