Grass Stains:

A tasteful historical romance revolving around rebellious Lourdes as she navigates the mystery of her mother and the treacherous games that  love plays in England, 1800's.

Opening comments: 

Hi author! Congratulations on creating such a masterpiece and many more! This book really reached--no, exceeded my expectations. Definitely a 10 out of 10, I could not find anything lacking in it. I loved it! And yes, I am aware of how much this review basically sounds like a bunch of compliments rather than a review. But it's just that good!

Don't feel shy to add inline comments if you have any inquiries, reactions or pm me if you have anything you can't understand in my review. 

First Impressions:

First, the cover. I like it, I think it's fine. But it seems a bit blurry, and I couldn't read the text at all. I'm also not quite sure the girl in the picture embraces Lourdes' rebellious and outgoing nature at all. The girl seems like Charity, almost.

I suggest changing the cover picture. Maybe something where a girl runs across a field, or dancing or sneaking. Something that would match with your main character's personality.

The font is also really hard to read, especially it's color.

Secondly, for the title. I think it's great! It embodies Lourdes' thirst for adventure and grass and mud stains all over her dress. I think your title is perfect and suits your book. It also gives this mellow, yet adventurous vibe to it. Something that really feels historical. I love it!

And then for the description, here it is:

Though I think your description is really well written and the prose is beautiful, there's some things I'd want to address.

The way you introduced Lourdes is great, but it's way too long. We did not need that many information, like how she looked or what she dreams. It's enough to tell us about the racial injustice she faces and her mysterious mother.

Introduction first (be careful not to add too many unneeded information), and then start introducing your plot. Tell us about this game she plays with a certain friend, tell us about the arranged marriage, about her near-perfect cousin. And then finish it off with a flourish, the stakes.

This way, the reader knows enough of what they're going to read to be intrigued. Just be careful not to spoil too much for the readers, just the things they'd need to know. Like the conflict, the main gist of your story.

And for your opening chapter, it was great, absolutely beautiful! The way you described the setting, your prose, Lourdes dancing in the cliffs--it was perfection! You know? I believe even if your book's plot lives in the slums of the slums and is the queen of all cliche, but once you have these three things, it'll really start pulling readers: interesting characters, good writing and comedy. But in this case, you have all three (albeit the writing part needs some polishing for your edit) plus a good plot! 

But I'd have to advise you for your editing. Be careful of head hopping, I've noticed you usually do this. Though it's fine since I'm pretty sure our first drafts always contained some head hopping.

Characterization: 

Your character are surely...interesting. They're not the usual heroes of the story, they might even be considered the anti-heroes. And I love it! I love that you're breaking all or at least most of the cliches in Historical Fiction. Since usually (Though I've only read about three Historical Fiction books and they're from my home country--which is not in England.) the tropes here are the 'I'm not like average girls, I'm one of the boys' kind of stuff for their main character. And though Lourdes is often described as 'not like other girls,' it is completely understandable since she stands strong and proves to the readers the she is not like other girls in their time. And that she stands confident amidst all of it and all of her differences. 

I think Lourdes is such an interesting character, this is what made me actually want to see what's going to happen and how she's going to handle it. She can come off as self-absorbed and rebellious, but it seems entirely interesting and also quite relatable to an extent. Lourdes reminds me that a character doesn't have to be perfect to be likeable. I love Lourdes, I love her authenticity, her character and her thirst for adventure. 

I'd normally tell you to tone down the 'not like other girls' things, but I know it comes from Lourdes, and it seems quite in-character for her, so I'd rather not.

As for the two love interests, let's start with Mr. Hugh/Seymour. At first I had thought he would be the bad boy 'I'm not a gentleman' love interest while the upcoming Mr. Iberra would be the good boy 'I'm a gentleman' kind of guy. But I was wrong, dead wrong. If I had though Seymour would play the bad boy role, I was wrong. He flattens in comparison to Iberra, who judges people at first sight, thinks of himself as god and is more than just self-absorbed. But more than that, even though I disapprove of his attitude, I yet again find him quite interesting. I'm Interested to see how this love triangle would form. 

But I'm sorry I just have the urge to say this but. The way Rhys is described when he took a bath--I'm not quite sure why, but I see him looking like Dr. Robotnick and Lord Farquaad's lovechild. I suppose it's because of his hairstyle and the mustache? Though I'm sure this character design is for the accuracy, I'm sure most men his age and at that time had those trends. 

Rhys also seems like quite the toxic one, isn't he? He judges people unfairly, and dictates their personality right at the very moment he sees them. He also seems quite possessive, which for many people may seem attractive, though it is admittedly a huge red flag. But more than that, he seems like the kind of person who's goal-oriented, set on achieving what he sets in mind and quite hardworking. You presented such realistic aspects of human beings into your characters. I loved that your characters are all realistic, relatable (to an extent) and not at all perfect. Yet despite the fact that they may be toxic, they're still quite interesting to read. 

Lourdes isn't at all annoying as well, I love that she has very unique opinions and outlook on love and life. This is the character I've been looking for for so long. A character who is their own person, has their own outlook and opinions, and stands strong for each of them! All in all I love it, your characters are so interesting. I also love that Lourdes actively wants to be someone unique, she actively participates and takes joy in the fact that she's different. 

I also see that Rhys values outward appearances to such a high standard, that he would not deem a person worthy unless their looks speak for itself. Needless to say, I did not like Rhys' attitude, though his characterization was good, I merely find him interesting. 

Setting:

Your setting is absolutely beautiful! I also love that you incorporate the setting of the ancient times into your story. I know it was still quite conservative and strict on those times, and I could see that you put it quite accurately in your story. I love the way you describe things with an old fashioned vibe to it. You did a great job at the setting!

Conflict and plot: 

At first I wondered what the conflict was, but that may have simply been the result of the vague description. But as I read more, I realize the things you've foreshadowed. Even the build up on the first chapters with Lourdes and Seymour's secret games were perfect. The conflict, which is the third party, Rhys, doesn't come on much later at all. The conflict was beautiful, the way that things started becoming clearer, and then started falling apart. I absolutely adored the nineteenth chapter, it had such strong and beautiful character developments, and more than that, Lourdes and Seymour's relationship becomes much clearer to the readers, as well as Lourdes coming to terms with how much she actually loved Seymour. 

I also loved that you put in elements of mystery about what her uncle really thinks of her, and what he's really after with the arranged marriage.  I absolutely loved it! 

Pacing:

I love your pacing. Your chapters are short and quick to read, which is a good thing since Wattpad is made for reading stories on-the-go. But even then, you still manage to keep the story going at a fast yet relaxed pace. I love that the chapters are short but still have concrete structure and just the right mixture of short yet detailed descriptions. Grass Stains is really a good story. I could not give it much more praise. 

Theme: 

The theme is about games and love, their (the characters') strong or otherwise opposing opinions on love, the way they weave through it and learn lessons. I absolutely loved the lessons, the themes, it weaves through the plot so seamlessly that it itself can be considered the plot. It isn't so obvious that in becomes cringe-worthy or awkward as well, absolutely great job on the theme!

Formatting:

I loved your format. It was clean, it was neat. And the chapter names are totally fire! The whole reading experience was absolutely amazing and I loved that there's the new text-to-speech feature Wattpad has going on. And then the banners just complete it all the more. Your book looks so professional, so well done. I love it.

Though I'd have to address something about the way you write dialogues. It is unnatural to use single quotation marks (') in a dialogue. Single quotation marks are used to surround a quotation within a quotation.

For example:

"My mother always says 'wash the dishes before the rice hardens,' I've never listened to it until now."

I suggest removing these unnecessary details as it can and does confuse readers. I hope you'd tackle this in editing your work.

Writing: 

Though your writing is a bit wonky and I could not count the times I didn't understand what you're trying to say, I know this is only your first draft and that you'll be editing it soon. 

I absolutely loved your prose though. The way you described things, and your writing, it really builds such an atmosphere that transports you into the past. I adored your writing, and I know once you edit it that it would be far better.

Just a little advice for you once you start editing, watch out for your sentence structure and rhythm. Take note of where to put your commas and periods since it really plays a good role for your sentence and word flow. I suggest using the text-to-speech option in your book to see how choppy the words sound without the correct commas and correct it. Or if the text-to-speech doesn't quite work properly, I advise reading it out loud instead. 

I may have to point out the head hopping again. It becomes really confusing, so I hope you will be able to remove this in the edit.

Though, I feel I'd have to point this one out. You often describe Lourdes in such a way that makes her look...how would I phrase this? It makes her look like she's only an item, I'm not sure if it was intentional for the characterization of the characters, but it really rubs off badly on me. But if this is not the case, I'd rather you use different word choices, or find other parts of her that could be described instead. However, if it is intentional, I'd like to congratulate you! It really gave off the right vibes that I think you wanted to express.

Dialogue: 

As for the dialogue, I love that it isn't at all weird or unrealistic for the time period. It also matches perfectly with the way the descriptions are written. It's done so well and I don't have anything more to say. 

Accuracy and originality:

I could not talk much about the accuracy considering the fact that I am not that familiar with ancient England. Though, I could say the originality of the premise was quite generic, a hidden love in the olden times, in danger of being thwarted by an unwanted arranged marriage. This then results in a couple strings of events. I had thought your book would follow the same pattern. Yet again you prove me wrong. The hidden tryst turns out to be, in fact, a lost cause, or rather, a cause both parties believed to be a lost cause. Plus, the way your characters are written and how they act within the story is something I adore, it adds a sense of intrigue, it makes the reader wonder and make them want to know what happens next. They may not ultimately agree with the character, but nevertheless, you manage to make them such mysteries for us readers. And that was just some of the things that make your book original in its own, rebellious way.  

Personal enjoyment: 

Personally, I loved it. I'm fully aware this review sounds mostly like a praise, but it really is that good. I love the pacing, the plot, the theme and of course the characters. I'm looking forward to the edited version of this story. I am rating it a hundred out of ten. 

Closing comments:

Overall, the only things I needed to address are the cover picture and the vagueness of the description.

That is all for the review. I hope this helped you in any way at all and that you take this critique seriously yet not personally. All criticism are for your book's own good and is not an attack on you as a person.

***

HEY! READING THIS "FOR FUN"? (What a dedicated soul you are! Reading book critiques are something I also did for fun, just to get a grip on what editors are looking for.)

Or are you sad that I'm not accepting critiques anymore?

DON'T BE!

I have relocated this service to Fiverr, so now you can acquire my services there for the low price of 5 dollars (294 PHP)! Don't fret, because I still offer all the services I give here on Wattpad (Inline comments, nearly 5k word reader reports), and even MORE, as I now also include FREE EDITING in my package.

On Fiverr, I can assure that you can get the most out of my services, as it is proven in my seller reviews that I have greatly improved my client's novels and novellas. It is as they say, pay a worker and she will work harder. Thank you for your patronage!

***

As promised, I will also be promoting your book on several social media accounts in several ways: 

✔️ Posted on Instagram

✔️ Posted on Facebook Page

✔️ Message Of Appreciation

✔️ Posted on Message Board

✔️ Added to HIDDEN GEMS reading list

✔️  Shared on Literary Lounge (a Discord server for Wattpad writers and avid Wattpad readers.)