It's 9:30pm and I just encouraged myself to tell someone about me doing self-harm and for the first time when it's something that mostly doesn't affect others I asked for help. 

Here's a little song I just randomly wrote rn:

„I've read all the stories

Bout the broken and damned

They alle have got their pretty happy end

But I know there's nothing 

Nothing like that 

For me

I've read all the stories

Bout the happy and safe

They've all got their pretty happy end

But I know there's nothing

Nothing like that

For me

I don't believe anymore

I don't trust in this typical way

For me there's nothing like that

No Happy End

No Happy End

Just an End

I've read all the stories 

Bout the famous with friends

They've all got there pretty Happy End

But I know there's nothing

Nothing like that

For me

I am doomed to endless misery 

My unforgiven sins will follow me

Until I can find my nothing

Until I can find a place for my restless soul

I don't believe anymore

I don't trust in this typical way

For me there's nothing like that

No Happy End

No Happy End

Just nothing

And pain

I know the lives

Of the broken and damned

Of the happy and safe

Of the famous with friends

With all their Happy Ends

But I know there's nothing

Nothing like that

For me

If my unforgiven sins will be forgiven 

If my restless soul finds rest

Maybe then

Then there will be

A happy end for me

Maybe it will be like a la, la-la-la, or an oh-oh-oh, or some shit like that, 

I will fight

Maybe then there will be

A happy end for me