The bed in the hotel room is lumpy. The hotel is old, the glass is falling down towards the frames of the windows. Showing its age everywhere. Only the paint inside is new, vibrant like it was painted yesterday. Even the chairs could be from the 1950's at best. How old is our mattress?

Thinking about this, as Tetsu swirled around on stage, his white costume billowing out in moves I knew so well. His arms going out above his head and ending up near his waist. His face pointed towards the magnificent ceiling that I couldn't see, only seen to him on stage. 

The students were watching. There are four of them, surprisingly. One of them wasn't planned, but she was so captivated by the idea of us that she had to come with her friend, the taiko player. It turns out that this student is a phenomenal flutist in the university's orchestra, but remained uninvited since her instrument isn't Japanese. We were overjoyed to see her. 

As Tetsu smiled up on stage at things unseen, I tried to imagine what he was seeing in his mind. What beautiful things did he dream? The dance flowed within him, coming out with these beautiful images. His gentle arms, his dreams guiding him as he seemed to float about the stage. 

What a stage it was. Skinny slats of wood, an old style set in a modern room. The walls were light blue in the auditorium, the seats a blonde wood and cupped cozily in shape to hug the backs of the seated. Their cushions were the same blue as the walls. The ceiling was so high and also a blonde wood. It definitely wasn't built to carry sound automatically. No doubt, there was a powerful sound system in here. There was no thought to sound design when this room was made. It's use was for another purpose, and it wasn't music. It made me think of the orchestra that this university housed. What a disservice this room was for them. 

I wondered about the sounds this room would soon experience. How it would sound, with no natural way to carry it all the way to the back of the house. One wall of the room was the largest window I'd ever seen. Made of up individual panes, reminding me of Tetris with only one size of brick. A lovely effect, but terrible for sound. 

The students were very still in their seats, watching. Lyra wasn't even playing yet, Tetsu was dancing on his own. A song in his head and heart, moving with it in a rhythm. 

My heart was pounding so much. My head hurt again, but it had been hurting since we'd come to Santa Fe or even approached it. Something to do with the altitude according to the guided tour we'd been on, but that didn't matter to me. The headache made me sleepy, and I was missing so much. The food made me nauseous, so I was missing that, too. But all the while, I was too exhausted to think much about these things. I'd missed more than half the meeting before this, and it was an experience waking up in this room when I'd expected to still be in that small makeshift meeting room. 

Sawai-san was next to me in a regular seat as I sat in my wheelchair in the aisle. Maybe they hadn't wanted to move me when I was sleeping to a regular seat. It was logical, and I was so tired anyway. My eyes were half-lidded as I watched Tetsu turn his back to us, one arm up at a slant to the right and the other glided in the air elegantly up and down. These were not traditional dance moves, but ones all his own. I was utterly in a trance with him, and I wanted to stay awake. 

I only could remember two of the students' names. They'd bowed to us, each individually. The flutist's name was Lisa. The taiko player preferred to be called Tora, though she had a different given name. This stuck in my mind, because I understood the importance of a preferred name. All of us did. She was in good company. Tora means "tiger", and she explained it was a mascot for her of sorts. Something fierce to remind her to play her best. Always coming at it like a fighting tiger, but like the mysterious beauty of the beast at times. So many aspects of a tiger, that was Tora. 

All four of the students were Asian, and were very close with each other in their social circle. Lisa was sat next to Tora in the front row. Lisa wore pigtail braids and glasses. Tora had short hair like a boy. The other two were boys and were somewhere in the auditorium together, too. 

Thinking about our bed in the bus. How comfortable it is. Wondering if it would be rude to spend the night there to sleep. As I blinked, I tried to stay on track. Going back to studying the two students in the front row, but my eyes closed again. 

No one was bothering me though I was so tired. That was a change. They were kind of just letting me sleep. It was established that I wouldn't be performing this time. I'd heard everyone talking, maybe Tetsu had told me this directly. It kind of all just swam together. 

I really wasn't doing well. I knew that. Hoping that sleep would fix it, but sometimes, most times on this tour, I just woke up worse. Wondering if that meant something really bad. 

Somehow, Annie's face appeared in my mind. Her ponytail, the red plaid shirt and overly large black overalls she liked to wear. Her looking at me with concern. Waiting for her to joke about me, trying to make me feel better, but it would never come.