The silvery moon calmed the changing night as the crickets sang their shining songs. Somewhere, water dripped, left over from a quick summer rain in the evening. Clouds shifted above, going on their endless journey.

In my arms, Sana was asleep and enjoying a dream. I held him preciously, both of my arms around him, pressing him to my body. His own were against himself, his hands in a sort of prayer position against his chest. His soft hair was brushing against my cheek slowly over and over as he breathed, as he moved slightly with each breath. He was so warm under the covers, and I made him yet warmer, making sure he was warm enough.

In the dark, I was thinking about the day's events. Particularly, this morning. It was the reason for the crease in my brow, and why I was still awake.

I'm not sitting on stage. He'd said that a million times before he was heard. I'd taken him seriously, but I'd wanted to get my point across, too. Now, after analyzing it, I knew it wasn't the time to tell him my opinion. I was mature enough to understand. I also knew that he didn't often yell like that. From past experiences, and from what I'd heard from others, I knew he only yelled like that when he was overwhelmed. From this, I could conclude that he hadn't actually been mad at me, but rather the situation.

Realizing this sent relief through me, but I still wanted to talk to him about it. When would be a good time, though? We were going to be leaving in two days, as of tomorrow. Time was almost up. Nobu said he'd had a plan to tell Sana he would be sitting on stage, but when had he meant to tell him, exactly? Certainly, not as a surprise? That was the worst idea in the world.

And, why had no one told me? It was an obvious conclusion that Sana would be sitting on stage, and I'd assumed that would be the case as well, but why had no one included me in their plans? It made me know that Sana and I were a single unit. I wanted to be informed just like him. I had to be, because I wanted to be able to predict things. It was important for me to be able to do that. If I'd been told, maybe we could have planned this better.

It brought me back to the conversation we'd had while playing cards before our meeting at Fleeting World, about how much Sana should be involved with planning. Well, now it was almost time to go, and he hadn't been involved at all. Together, we hadn't been. Even our costumes were a mystery. Now that I thought about it, that didn't sound very fun. Added on top of it, not knowing how Sana would be sitting on stage? Was it a safe seat? Could he fall out of it if he suddenly didn't feel well? Especially, I wouldn't be able to look at him all the time. I'd be pointed at the audience. In fact, no one had told me where I'd be dancing on stage.

It brought me pause. How could we plan this out if we hadn't been told much of anything? I didn't like that at all.

The more I laid here, the more fear was in me. In place of something well thought out, all boxes checked and accounted for, there was blank space. It grew in front of me, and panic was setting in. I was breathing a little quicker.

Just what was in store for us? No wonder Sana had yelled today. He was just as uncertain as I was. Was he fearful, too?

Not only that, but we wouldn't have much time to pack or get what we really needed. Yokohara-sensei had sent out for three months of Sana's prescriptions, but we didn't have them in our hands yet. We'd be getting them on Tuesday, when we went to Tokyo for final preparations to go to Sendai. She also wanted to give us results of the various tests we'd done last week. It was all so overwhelming all of a sudden, thinking of it in this context.

No, where there should have been excitement, there was only fear. Uncertainty was fueling everything, making me curl my fingers on Sana's back unintentionally.

We needed a better plan. I needed to ask everyone what they knew about the tour. I knew the others had been talking about their own needs for it, finding out different aspects. How did they know about what kind of seat Sana would be sitting in, if I didn't? Had they asked about the stage set up? In fact, if I had asked about the stage set up, would I have been told? I could only think about the teasing way Keitaro had talked about my costume. It seemed fun at the time, but now? I didn't even know what kind of kimono I'd be dancing in. The possibilities were numerous. What kind of weight would I be dealing with? Even the weight of my costume could be any possibility.

Not only that, but what would Sana be dressed in? I hadn't thought to ask that. He needed to be unencumbered. What if it was heavy or fussy? He often told me in the past that a corset helped him sing better, giving him support. There was no way a costume designer would know that about him. Not only that, but... I swallowed, and a small, high squeak came out of my throat as I realized, unintentional. We had to know what kind of costume he would be wearing. He had his device on his stomach. What if the costume pressed into the device? That would be painful, and would disrupt the way it worked!

I let out a loud gasp at this, squeezing Sana as I did. I immediately released him, realizing what I'd done.

Small noises met me. A long drawn in breath that pulled my shirt a little bit, little "mm...nnn..." sounds. My hands automatically started to rub his back, soothing him.

"Go back to sleep, I'm sorry," I whispered into his hair.

He made a big swallowing sound, and the wetness of his mouth followed as he made adjustments there in his start of wakefulness. Was his mouth dry? His head moved upward, and suddenly his big eyes were staring at me, the moon shining off them prettily. He could always take me with one look. I was so charmed by his eyes in this moment.

"Are you okay?" He asked, louder in the quiet of the room than he actually was. Concerned about me as soon as he woke. My arms closed more around him, holding him to me dearly.

"Yes. I was just thinking about the tour. I get too enthusiastic sometimes."

Excuses. Could he see through me?

A small smile spread on his lips. I wanted to kiss them. Somehow, by only seeing him, he made me feel better. His searching, curious eyes let me know we were in this together.

"Ah, no, actually, I'm pretty worried," I admitted.

"Hmm? Worried about what?"

I had his complete attention now. His eyes were so focused on me, as if I were the only creature in the whole universe. My arms tightened around him more, loving him. I kissed his forehead loudly, and he made the same kind of giggle as earlier today when I'd kissed him like that. It was so familiar in my heart, that I relaxed against him. I realized how tense I was.

"Well, I'm worried about the tour." I adjusted a little to see him better. He was waiting for me. "Hmm. About how much we don't know. There's so much I haven't asked."

"Oh. I thought it was normal not to know much. I thought Fleeting World would have it? I don't know..." He started to look troubled. "Is that not how it usually goes?"

My lips pursed, making him smile more. It was obvious he was looking at my lips. I felt so loved. He made me feel gorgeous. "Not at all. I'd know everything about where we were performing at my old company. I've worked with Fleeting World before a little bit, too, for summer festivals, and it was never like this. I know this is completely different, but I didn't think it would be so different. I think the problem is that Keitaro seems to want everything to be a surprise, but that's not a good way to go about it. I was thinking about your-" I stopped myself just in time. Flashes of him yelling today, saying over and over that he wasn't going to sit on stage. My hands traveled about his back, holding him differently, but with no less love.

"Ohh." He blinked adorably. "I didn't know about any of that. Keitaro wants it to be a surprise?"

"Yes." I kissed his forehead again quickly, and he made a high pitched squeal. I caught his grin as I parted from him, and found myself grinning, too. He was just too adorable. How strange, to suddenly be so happy after I was this worried. No, I was still worried, but he was making me... Oh, he was making me feel so much better.

But, seeing him this way now. Held in my arms, feeling so small. My hand traveled up to the back of his head, holding him and feeling his hair bunched up against my palm, weaving around my fingers. So warm, so precious. My previous thought was back.

"I don't know what kind of costume you'll be wearing," I admitted. "I don't want it to interfere with your device. It'd be so last minute to change your costume if it does. It was really a terrible idea for Keitaro to keep this from us. He has to know that he can't do that, but it's too late... Right, it's too late?"

He paused, staring up at me. I admired his lovely eyelashes, his delicate eyebrows. I was so taken with him. He was so beautiful by the moonlight.

"Hmm. If it interferes with my device, I won't wear the costume. We know your costume is white. Well, I have a lot of costumes that are white. If I wear one of those, then we'll match, at least. It might work."

He was a genius. My mouth was open. I closed it, and he started to giggle. My lips descended to his, and he accepted them with care. Gently, like flower petals on flower petals, we kissed slowly, lingering.

He had answers. We really were in this together.

I sighed into our kiss, my other hand grabbing at the small of his back. I was sure that any question I had, he'd have an answer. If not, we could figure it out together. What a relief it was, having him here with me to soothe my fears. I wasn't alone.

As I kissed him, I pondered. Going back in time, to a place that seemed unimaginable now. Being alone in my apartment, alone in my bed. An empty apartment, my empty bed. It seemed like an impossible life now.

Holding him like this. Feeling his warmth. Knowing he loved me even as he slept, and immediately caring for me when he woke. I was his whole universe, and he was mine. As I kissed him, it was hard to think of anything that had troubled me before. There was an assurance, a sense of safety. It was so foreign to me, this comforting knowing. I knew he'd be here for me, no matter what happened to me. As much I took care of him, he'd take care of me.

We kissed for so long, loving each other. Needing to feel each others' lips, an overwhelming desire. I wanted to make him happy, but I also needed him. Combining the two, well... I couldn't bear to stop.

As the moon went on its glowing way, and he expressed his own desire to me, I forgot what I was worried about. Losing myself just like earlier today in the dance, and when we'd made love in secret. Being in the moment, only wanting that. No need to worry about the past or the future. He was my everything, and I had him now. I was so happy in the now, that it made no sense to even think.

As I parted a little from his mouth and made a tiny moan, his breath quickened so fast for me. I squeezed him harder, watching his eyes open wider in his overwhelming desire. Too beautiful. As I dove in for one more everlasting kiss, the pitter pattering of another summer rain started, causing the moment to be so gorgeously romantic that I let out such a loud moan in my pleasant feeling.