I wasn't sure where I was. My eyes were closed, but I was aware some time had gone by. It was silent in the room, so I knew Lyra wasn't there anymore. There was darkness beyond my lids, so it was dark in the room. Slight panic. Was I in the hospital? Is that where this had led? I'd gotten too tired, and now I was...

"Where am I?" As soon as I said it, I felt his breaths beneath me. Recognized this position. It was our familiar pose. His breaths quickened, and his arms tightened around my back. My cheek was against his soft chest, laid like this.

"Home. We're at my parents' house. We're on the couch, my darling." His hand started to rub my back, soothing me.

"Why are we at home? We were practicing. We were supposed to do our last song..." Devastated.

"We're taking a break. We're off tomorrow. We're all going to take a rest." Said so casually, like it was no big deal. I wanted to trust that what he was saying was right, but I wasn't settled. "Are you hungry?" Still so casual. "My mom made shogayaki. We can eat. If you're tired, you can sleep, though."

Wasn't he hungry? Why was it all about me? I let out a shuddering breath, not meaning to. It was only sadness. Their conversation earlier. Yami's angry yells.

"Come on. I'll feed you some pork. I bet the onions are tasty, too. Then, we'll go back to bed. We'll rest together."

I wanted to trust in his words. But, I only felt devastation. His casualness. He'd been crying earlier, sad about me. I was only causing more sadness. This tiredness that I couldn't control. I wanted it to go away. Make it magic, blow it away like some story. Make my breath the wind, carry away this sleepiness, this sickness, and be normal like them. Maybe then we could smile and carry on with what we were doing, perform that last song and be happy.

I wanted to say that, but it sounded crazy.

"I'm not hungry." My cheek nestled to his chest, the soft silk like a cushion. He was still wearing a kimono. Beautiful. I wanted to see it, but it was only darkness.

"You have to be hungry. You haven't eaten since noon." The worry in his voice. I had to lie.

"Oh, I guess I am."

"Okay. I'll heat some up. You rest, and I'll be right back. I love you."

He started getting up carefully. I let him manipulate my body, adjusting slowly. In no time, I was alone on the couch. As I felt his presence leave, the worst loneliness started up. I was on my back, my eyes too heavy. What was wrong with me? Why was I this tired? It used to be that we'd practice on a Wednesday, and then go out together. Before that, I'd be up all day cooking a whole feast. So much energy. Why was I like this now?

I was too late. We finally had the opportunity we dreamed of, and I was too tired to complete it.

I wanted to ask Yokohara-sensei what to do. Give me something to make the tiredness go away. That had to be a solution, but what could there be? Caffeine wouldn't work, because I couldn't have that. Maybe something to make my blood run better, or something to shock my brain. I'd do anything. Vitamins, minerals, all the medication in the world.

I'd drifted off while Tetsu was warming up our food. He thankfully woke me, and he fed me the delicious pork and onions. I drank water, and he fed me some sugar free chocolates afterwards. The taste was still in my mouth. I'd managed to open my eyes, and in the light of the room I'd seen his serious face. His determination to take care of me. Completing this task with no nonsense, his devotion. I wanted to feed him, too. Make him laugh, make jokes. I wanted to, but I had no energy.

As I laid on the couch, he sat in front of it and ate. I watched the food on his plate disappearing, heard him chewing. His hair looked so soft in front of me, and I wanted to reach out and touch it.

Afterwards, he took me to the bathroom. He carried me there, not stopping to attempt to use my wheelchair. I was floppy in his arms, and I was sorry. Was this actually weakness and I wasn't aware? This inability to keep my eyes open for long. Wanting to do things, but my body not responding. It felt wrong.

As I sat on the toilet, he kept me there with his strong hands on my shoulders. My head drooped to the side, my eyes closed as I did my business. I'd slept all day, and goodness knows what time it was now. How could I still be this tired? It made no sense. As I sat there, fear permeated my body. This tiredness made no sense. Was it something new, and I wasn't aware? There was only one response that I could think of.

"I want to see Yokohara-sensei."

"Hm?" A quick sound. Shocked.

"I want to see Yokohara-sensei."

"Okay."

No argument. Good. "I feel strange." I finished my business, and I felt him cleaning me up slowly, gentle.

"Strange, in what way?" Searching words.

"I'm too tired."

He made an adoring noise. "You've been working hard." He flushed the toilet, and began bringing up me up to my feet. My underwear went up again, and he smoothed down my skirt. My face was leaned to his collarbone as he did this. Routine.

"I worked hard before, but..." I was too tired to complete my sentence. Gently, my brain began drifting off. I saw flowers in rows, a blue sky above. A breeze was around me, calmness overtaking my senses.

"Sana?" Tetsu's voice in the dream.

My breath was slowing down. Somewhere beyond, I was in the air.

When I woke up again, it was still dark. But, I knew what woke me up.

"That may be, but it's worrying. He was right. He's too tired. It shouldn't be like this. I know you said it's normal for him. I'm comparing to what he was like before we started this strenuous week. You're right, he did used to take a nap in the evenings. I lost sight of that. But, this is beyond that. He was doing better. Now, he's doing a lot worse. He was worried earlier, talking to me, and as he did, he fell asleep in my arms while we were standing up. That's not normal for him. Uh huh. Yes, I get what you're saying. Still, I'd feel better if we came to see you. We can talk about this. He's really right. We can talk about what it could be like on tour. We can come up with a plan."

He was talking to Yokohara-sensei. That could be the only person on the other end, with this subject. It gave me relief. He'd listened to me.

"You're free around noon tomorrow? That's your lunch break. I'm sorry... Okay, I won't be sorry, then. Yes. Yes... This is important, you're right. We'll come see you, then. Thank you so much. I appreciate this. Ah, yes, you're right again. We do have to go over the legal aspect. Did you talk to a lawyer? Uh huh. Okay, that sounds very good. Thank you for reminding me. There's just been so much going on. You're on top of it, as always."

As he spoke to Yokohara-sensei, I fell asleep again impossibly. Drifting off just like before.

When I woke up again, it was to his lips. Small explorative kisses, in the dark. We were in bed, I recognized the surface beneath me. My hands curled, feeling this strength in me. Finally, some strength. I was able to roll my body around to him, and his arm went around me as I adjusted myself.

Without words, he kissed me again, finding my face in the dark. His lips landed on my cheek. I made a kissing noise to him, and his lips landed on the bridge of my nose, his chin touching my face, too. His lovely skin.

I wanted to let him know how much I loved him. As I came to, I realized how with it I was right now. Maybe sleeping so much had been for something.

My arm went up, and I found his body. Pulled him to me. He made a curious noise, his hand rubbing my back as he came closer. My lips found his face, and they landed on his nose. He made a pleased sound.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked quietly, a caution there.

"Yeah." I said it in English by mistake. A long breath came from him, relaxed. His arm went tighter around me. He tried to kiss me again, finding the edge of my mouth. We kept missing each other's lips.

"I'm glad." He tried again, but caught my cheek once more. It made me smile, despite how I was feeling inside. He was trying so hard.

"Thank you."

"Hm?" That curious sound again.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Casual. Like nothing had happened. Like we hadn't cried today, or been devastated. Strangely, I was grateful for that. I needed that.

His kiss came, and finally he found my lips. I wasn't about to let them go. I kissed back, and he wouldn't let me go, either. He stayed there, pressing to me. It got wet, his saliva. Lingering.

I was so grateful to him. He'd taken care of me, and I hadn't realized how far gone I'd been. Maybe, I still was. Even so, I knew he'd be here for me. Watching me, making sure I was alright.

These non-sexual kisses. Needing each other, simple. Comforting each other. Loving, no obligations. Loving, enjoying each other.

Afterward, we laid here and I observed the moonlight coming in. I was in his arms, and I hoped he'd get some sleep, too. Now, it was my turn to take care of him. Make sure he got some rest. My fingers trailed on his chest over and over, making shapes to calm him. Even so, he was staring at me in the dim light. Watching me, never stopping. His love for me, not letting him fall asleep before I did.

It was a battle that I couldn't win. I drifted off to sleep as I felt his strong arm supporting me. All this impossible love, enduring longer than I could stay awake.