I woke alone to a cold bed. However, I wasn't entirely alone, as I realized what had woken me.

"You're always so selfish! Give me that jam right now!" Shizue yelled from the kitchen.

"What, I can't use it?! Who's being selfish?!"

"It's just jam! Lower your voices!"

Ah. Even though it was bickering, it filled my heart with love. I rolled over, my arms dragging with me along the bed. This was a familiar feeling, my arms weak and unwilling. It was like a wet blanket over me, making my limbs heavy and hard to move. So, it might be one of those days. Strangely, there wasn't one hint of being upset about it. Just this calm feeling, knowing everyone was here and there was that joy underneath, even if they were fighting.

As I laid, I stared up at the ceiling. There was a light fixture that I'd seen many times from this position, bell flowers in a bunch tinted in a faint blue. It was just like Tetsu to make even the light fixtures from the ceiling be made out of beautiful glass. I studied the waviness of the outside of the petals for a bit, memorizing them for a future memory. There were even tiny lines of tint to make the veins in the petals.

My mind began to wander, to other things. Thinking about the tour, but no longer with sad feelings. Strange to think of it this way, but it was a relief. Interspersed with remembering how everyone had acted during the storm, supporting each other. Okinawa memories coming by, of us all cooperating and being friends. Being at the fun center with Masaki and everyone, how happy we were. Knowing these things, that we could come together and make something.

I didn't even notice when my fingertips started to shake until I rose them up in front of my face, reaching toward the bell flowers. In this, I observed them, the slight trembling of the last joints of my fingers. From weakness or something else? My thumbs started in, slight unintentional movements.

Memories of my violin, knowing I'd never be able to play if my fingers were wobbling on their own. My breath shuddered, watching my fingers. Out of fear or out of weakness or something else, they trembled more and more.

The door gently opened, the hinges squeaking. Familiar, large eyes peered inside. They wandered around, and saw me finally. My hands went down, gripping the bed. Not wanting him to see what I'd been doing, what was happening to them. It would only spread more fear.

"Good morning," he sang to me, such a big smile. A genuine one, his eye crinkles showing. It instantly made my heart forget its fear. All those worries, gone. Instead, a river of relief like the one before I noticed my hands.

He met me on the bed, climbing up and going over my body, over the blanket. He blocked the bell flowers, and instead their light framed a halo around his face, streaming through his now long hair, as it curled around his chin in different lengths. I reached up for a different reason, a different beauty. They found his beautiful strands, and buried in, finding his scalp and loving the warmth coming off it. Everything, loving everything. The edges of my eyes were squeezing, my own true happy smile.

"Good morning," I breathed, discovering that my voice was weak, too, unmistakable and noticeable.

Suddenly, my arms wanted to collapse. That same feeling. I recognized it. I'd felt it a lot when we'd started dating, when I'd been experiencing low blood sugar. Staring into his searching eyes, it became so clear what I was experiencing.

His pretty face descended slowly, and before I knew it, he was kissing me gently. Tiny kisses, exploring my face and finally enjoying my lips. His were sweet, the taste of grape. Ah, it was the jam that had been bickered about earlier. But, this small amount wouldn't hurt me. Even his saliva was sweet, and the inside of his mouth. A gorgeous bouquet of fruit. He must have just eaten.

"What were you eating?" I asked, coming up for air. My fingernails started to scratch his scalp absentmindedly, but I felt every effort in my already spent muscles.

"Oh. Toast with grape jam," he admitted, somewhat sheepishly. A small blush appeared on those lovely cheeks.

"Tastes good." I licked my lips a little. His blush increased. It made me laugh. My lips puckered, and he grinned so beautifully, and went in to kiss me again. In this, there was such a completeness. That feeling from before, that relief. It was just joy. Absolute joy.

"Nobu has been calling all morning, asking if he can come over later to work on music. We've been discussing stage stuff. We're going to be performing in two weeks! Then, a week after that, there's the tour! I can't believe it's so close! I really can't. How does Yellow Lizard do it? They only get a week to prepare, after a national tour?! Are we going to be worked like that, too?!"

Shizue was losing it. We needed some control. Feeling better now that I'd eaten a good breakfast of wheat toast, eggs, and miso soup, I rose my hand to quiet her. She understood it, and stopped talking. Everyone was paying attention to me now. I tapped my papers on the coffee table, gazing at the almost luminous crystal and glass bowls and curios against the wall opposite of me. I could see how one could get lost in this crystal room, with all the colors and patterns of Tetsu's glass antiques, this crystal world he was creating.

"We'll focus on one thing at a time, like Masaki said," I reminded them. They nodded with me, understanding. "First, we'll focus on the music. That's the basis. Once we have that, we'll know what to do. We have a solid set list, one we'll practice over and over until we get it right. Go back into practice mode. I know it's been a while, but we'll remember. Nobu and I have some finalizing to do, but from what I understand he and Masaki have expanded upon my ideas and have some good things going. There's already several songs that we've been doing for years, ready made, in this list. We'll focus on those first, and when the other songs are done, and they'll be done soon, we'll shift to those. In no time, we'll be practicing our entire set. We can figure out what to do for the stage after that. We've played on so many stages. We know what to do." All business, professional. There could be no room for argument.

But, Yami found one. Of course.

"But, we haven't played on stages this big before. We'll have a lot more space. What about your ear? I heard that Americans are a lot louder than Japanese. They won't stay quiet. Won't that bug your ear? What should we do about that?"

"We'll figure it out. As long as you keep me in my counts, I'll be fine." I shook my head, trying to show him he was frustrating me.

"Don't bring up Sana's hearing, that's not nice," Shizue sighed, sharing my frustration. "He can take care of himself on that. He's been performing for how many years, and you've been there for all of it?"

"But, he's never performed on a stage this big," Yami continued, clearly too worried to listen. Now who had the hearing problem?

"I have so." I blinked and my eyes rolled to the ceiling, trying to show him more of my frustration. "Back in America when I was with choirs, and performing solo with the help of my singing teacher. We played some pretty big stages in Hawaii."

"Oh, whoa, whoa, that's new to me," Yami said, putting his hand up. My eyes came back from the ceiling, and noticed that all eyes were on me, but not just paying attention now. They were large, shocked, all of them.

"You've played big stages in America?" Tetsu asked, so pleased. Such a warmth to his voice.

My hand went to the back of my neck, nervously scratching an itch that wasn't there. Unexpected, all of them staring at me like this. "Uh, well. It was a long time ago," I admitted. "I had a lot of help. It wasn't like it's going to be now."

"But you still have experience," Hikaru jumped in. He immediately regretted it. His body shrank a little. "Sorry."

But, I smiled at this. Knowing his own experience. He'd have to understand. It was the perfect segue. "It's like how you travel with a choir or an orchestra in school, right? You might be playing big venues, but it isn't the same. Everyone's doing everything for you, and it's this fun thing you're doing. It's so...safe. I guess that's the word. You're not doing anything yourself."

He nodded, clearly knowing, but Yami leaned forward. "But you know what it's like. What American audiences might do or react? Oh, I should have known."

"Should have known what?" I scratched my neck more. "I said it's not the same. 'How American audiences might react'? Classical performance is a lot different. We're going to be playing something to fans who are a lot more enthusiastic, for one. People who didn't come specifically to see us, and are expecting to hear rock and metal. Have you ever watched an American metal or rock concert? Expect that."

"Oh, shoot, you're right," Shizue said, her voice in awe. Her thumb and forefinger went to her chin as she leaned back on her couch, and Hikaru's arm went around her back in the same movement. She smiled, and lowered her hand. "I watch that stuff all the time. Korn and stuff. Are they really going to be like that? Like a Lollapalooza or..."

"I have no idea. But, think about the kind of music Yellow Lizard makes. A lot of their songs aren't something people are going to be even sitting for. They're going to be up, headbanging, jumping around, acting crazy. Think about their lyrics. Blood, mayhem, mental illness, dealing with suicidal depression. Wanting revenge. Even one of their albums is called 'Madness and Mayhem'. Their lyrics speak to people who are going through some things, stuff that teenagers in particular can identify with, things they can't say themselves. I bet at these concerts, a lot of their fans feel like they can finally express themselves. I've watched some of their lives on DVD and online. Even Japanese kind of lose it at their shows. Imagine Americans."

"Shit," Shizue gasped. "They're going to go nuts."

"And Keitaro is such a calm person otherwise," Tetsu noted. "I wonder if he gets out a lot of his feelings in his lyrics."

"Well, he says a lot of things that people identify with," I said, finally smiling. "It's a good thing, and I imagine that's why they're as popular as they are. It's pretty universal. That isn't the issue. We have to factor in how those lyrics make people react. Also, the music itself. It makes your heart pound, right?"

"Yeah, Davy's drums are legendary. The pacing they do. He's one of the best metal drummers in Japan." Yami was nodding, clearly thinking about certain instances of his idol.

"But, I wonder." Hikaru wasn't admiring in his tone. It made my smile go away, an ominousness to it. Made me refocus, concerned suddenly. From Shizue's look, I could tell it worried her, too. "If that crowd is expecting rock and metal, then what are we doing singing traditional and jazz to them? Won't that make them riot?"

A quiet descended upon the room. Tetsu's hand squeezed on mine, and I slowly looked up at him from my own wonder, my considering of Hikaru's words. He'd been completely right. Wouldn't they be hyped up for a metal show? Would they even appreciate the kind of music we'd bring? Even more, would they even be watching Tetsu's traditional dance, miss that beauty...

"It's going to be okay." Tetsu sounded so sure and proud. Full of confidence. It was stirring something up inside of me. "I trust Keitaro two-hundred percent. If he says it will work, then it will work. He knows his fans a lot better than we do. I promise it will work. If he's insisting, then he knows something we don't."

The others gave considering faces, but still seemed unsure, intimidated, maybe. I knew I was feeling intimidated, too, even if his sureness had tried to wipe it away. My fingers clenched on his, all healed from their previous weak state.

"I trust you," I told him, trying to believe. I had to. "We'll just try our best. Even if some crowds don't like us, we'll know we did our best. We can't please everybody. Not everyone's going to like us. All we can do is work hard."

Shizue's finger pointed at me, accidentally rude in her enthusiasm. Her face brightened. "That's right! That's so right. We can't please everyone." Her hands clapped together. "We're going to try hard and do what Lyra always does, and play our best, doing what we love. That's the best we can do!"

Hikaru's arm squeezed her, and she looked at him, grinning. He was smiling, too. It was working. Maybe we'd all be fine.

"I still don't know. I think I know Yellow Lizard better than anyone in this room, in terms of listening to their music and watching their lives," Yami said, shaking his head. "Is it really going to be okay?"

Tetsu gave a scoff next to me, a shock of air coming out if his body, one I didn't often hear. My head whipped up, and I saw his beautiful grin. His fist went to his hip as he sat up completely straight. "Oh, do you?" He laughed.

"Oh, right," Yami started laughing a little, nervously, I thought.

"Trust me, it's going to be fine. I've been to Yellow Lizard lives. Oh, hey!" Tetsu's fist smacked into his hand as he quickly undid our hand holding. "I'll show you! They're going to Hokkaido soon. Let's go to one of their lives! I'll tell Keitaro that you're all nervous. What's better than seeing it yourself?"

Their jaws dropped, and I realized mine was, too.

Yami was the first one to come back to life. He started wiggling in his chair, and I recognized the enthusiasm. It was the same wild energy from back when we were teenagers, gearing up to watch music videos all afternoon on MTV, waiting for our favorite band, Yellow Lizard, to come on.

"A Yellow Lizard show?!" He burst out. I couldn't help but giggle. "We're finally going?!"

"Oh, we're going," Tetsu said. I could already see the gears turning as I smiled up at him. "I'll call right now. There's always unsold tickets just in case of something unforeseen. We might be in the worst seats possible, but we'll make it." He was already diving into his pocket for his cellphone.

"Wow, you're the best," Yami sighed, clearly imagining us at that show already, elation all over his face.

My hand went over Tetsu's hand again, squeezing it once more. He glanced at me, that grin I love so big and beautiful. "I already knew that," I sighed, matching Yami's, as my head rested on Tetsu's shoulder. Adoring him. His head met mine, leaning there. My favorite pose.