"You're in the hospital because you panicked about the tour? Hmm. I can see that."

Yami was on the phone with us. He'd gone to Tetsu's apartment and found us gone, so he called his cellphone.

He chuckled. "I'm freaking out, too. But, when you freak out, things go bad. You need to be careful. Center yourself. Remember when you used to say that to me? Center yourself. Find the middle of your body, and focus on that. Breathe. Remind yourself where you are."

My heart was pounding this evening. Thinking more about things, the enormity of everything. It felt like we weren't launching a mini-album soon, it was like we were launching a rocket into space. The whole world watching. So expensive, this enormous object going into untold worlds. My chest hurt.

Tetsu rubbed my chest, looking at my heart monitor suspiciously. He was beside me in bed, his arm around me. My cheek was on his shoulder. I started to wheeze.

"Talk about something else, Yuuhi," Sawai-san said, obviously concerned. She leaned forward at me in her chair, watching me.

"Ah. Okay. Well, at work today we got new work helmets. I think I look like a dork in it, but apparently they're better."

"I meant talk about something else that's interesting," Sawai-san sighed.

I started laughing. Wheezing and laughing. Tetsu rubbed my back, reaching over at the same time to grab my purse off the side table next to him. He rummaged through it, having to use both hands. He finally found my inhaler. I took it gratefully, and he watched closely as I took two puffs. A distinct, proud smile was on his face at this. I gagged a little bit on the second air puff, holding my breath and then letting it out. He rubbed my back anew. My heart wasn't racing as much anymore.

"What was that?" Yami asked.

"I puffed my inhaler," I said, taking several deep breaths after.

"Did you work yourself up? Let's see. Think about... Cute cats, the ocean, fields of grass blowing in the wind."

I nodded, pressing my lips together as I breathed through my nose.

"Oh, yeah. You used to say that to each other," Sawai-san said, her finger on her chin, thinking. "Before exams, things like that. I remember."

"Hmm? Is it common between you?" Tetsu asked.

I nodded again. "We say it to encourage each other. It's because I said I like to imagine I'm somewhere else when I'm stressed out. He started doing it, too, and we'd share what we were thinking about. So, now it's 'think about being crawled all over by kittens, think about swimming in the ocean. Think about being in a big open field with no worries or places to go.'"

"I'd think about swimming in the ocean," Tetsu sighed, resting his head on my shoulder. His warm hair brushed my cheek, causing a wave of pleasure to go up my body.

"Are you a strong swimmer?" Sawai-san asked.

"Oh, yes. I grew up swimming in the ocean. My sisters and I would see how deep we could dive. It was magical."

"That does sound magical."

"I know what we need to do!" Yami burst out, making me jump. Tetsu caught me, his hand gripping my shoulder from behind as he pressed me to himself. I snuggled my cheek on top of his head.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Think about Okinawa. Think about the beach. Sata andagi. Well... Maybe not sata andagi. I know you can't eat that. Hmm. I'm talking about, why think about it? Let's just go. All of us. We need a vacation, I think. I bet everyone else is freaking out, too. We need to go relax. Get away from it, but the best part is that we'd all be together. We can start really talking about things. Mom, you said we should have a second meeting, right? Talk about a meeting. We'd be forced to be together."

He stopped talking, probably waiting for us to respond. But, I was shocked into silence. Thinking about it. The white beaches. Naha. The fun places to shop. The blue skies. I'd never been there, but Shizue had told me all about it. We'd bonded about it, because it sounded a little like Hawaii.

If it was even a little bit like home, I wanted to go. It sounded like a random suggestion, an easy piece of paradise, but he had no idea how good this idea was. Home. I wanted to go, because it reminded me of home in a way. Still Japan, but strangely familiar even though I'd never been there.

"I want to go," I offered, finally. "It sounds fun."

"Wait a minute," Tetsu said, potentially shattering the idea like glass. "How would we do it? Everyone would need the time off work. How long would we be there for? What about... Sana?" He sounded like he hadn't meant to say that last part. Suddenly hesitant.

"Huh?" I asked, quietly.

"Traveling," Tetsu said gently. "I'm just concerned about the traveling. We also don't know anyone there. I think... Hmm..." He parted from me, looking at my curious face. He put the cellphone between us, on where our thighs touched. His hand cupped my cheek briefly, and slipped down. "I'm just worried," he said. "I want us to go. But... We have challenges. It's what we've been talking about, with the tour. The traveling part."

He was right. I looked down at my lap, thinking about it. Often, it was a problem for me to travel to somewhere an hour away. How would I go all the way down there? Much less, how would I travel across sixteen cities spanning the United States?

He saw this, and took my hands. Comforting me.

"I know there must be a solution. Maybe Yokohara-sensei would know the answer. How to travel safely. She could also get us in contact with a doctor down there, just in case. I don't want to think about these things, but I have to be responsible. I can't let anything happen," he explained, his voice still gentle like a pond on a windless day.

"That's pretty logical," Yami said. I'd almost forgotten he was listening in, just entranced by Tetsu, his large eyes looking at me with such seriousness, so close to my face. I nodded quickly, acknowledging I'd heard what he said, his concern for me. Everything he was saying was right. I was glad he was thinking about these things. I leaned in to him, and wrapped my arms around him. His hand went behind my head, pressing my face to the side of his. His other arm went behind my back, securing me in place. I sighed loudly, so happy at this.

Yami went on. "You're wrong, though. We do know people in Okinawa."

"Hmm?" Tetsu asked. "Who?"

"Shizue's parents."

I made a tsking noise. "We can't even visit them. Shizue wouldn't stand for it."

"I'm just saying, in an emergency, we do know people from there. They could direct us on where to go."

"Hmm." I considered this. "That's true."

"Should we call her, then? See what she thinks about this? How wheelchair accessible is Okinawa? I don't know... I'm just worried about it. I want us to all have fun. I think it's a great idea. Lots of bands travel together like this, making music and spending time together to work," Tetsu said, still sounding unsure.

"Work? I don't plan on working down there," Yami chuckled. "I want to go on vacation."

I followed his laugh. He was reading my mind. Tetsu was very serious about this, and I admired that, but something in me felt like I was in high school again. Conspiring with my best friend, planning to run away. It was more and more perfect. It was almost like his words were a hypnotizing spell. Getting away from all of this. Hospitals, the city, responsibilities. This sick life, my despairing thoughts, everything.

"And we will be on vacation. We just have to plan it out, that's all," Tetsu said, sounding like finality.

"Mm. I agree. We'll see what we can do. We can talk it over with everyone and plan out a date to go. I think we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that it's us going down there to relax, though. That was the original idea."

I had a thought, and I bit my lips to keep myself from laughing. The whole thing seemed ridiculous with this fact.

"But, Yami," I said, my throat pressing closed in certain parts, making me sound strained so I didn't laugh.

"Hm?" He asked.

"What about Nobu? He hates you. He said he'll work with you, but travel with you on a vacation? How would that work?"

"Ouch," he said, pinching his voice, clearly still happy, though. "We'll encounter that when we have to. Maybe we should tell him this is work."

I looked over at Tetsu, and he was smiling, too. Not so serious anymore. "You know what, maybe Keitaro would be interested. I know he has a strict schedule, but maybe he can make some time. He's supposed to be working with us on the mini-album, so maybe Fleeting World will allow him to accompany us if we say it's for work."

"That sounds good. I want to get to know him more," Yami said, clearly pleased.

"Of course I'm coming, too," Sawai-san declared.

"Of course!" Tetsu gasped.

"Mo-om," Yami sighed. It reminded me of when we were teenagers and she'd walk into his room while we were secretly talking. It made me smile.

"I have to go," Sawai-san said. "I'll protect Sana. If something happens, I'll be there to make sure everything's alright."

"That's true," Yami accepted.

I was glad they were thinking about me that way, but it was kind of a buzzkill. I wanted to go to get away from all of this. Not take it with me. What was the point of going somewhere new, when you brought all the old things with you? It was making me less enthusiastic.

I decided to try to be more positive. Trying to think of how to change the subject. I got it in a few seconds.

"What do you want to do there the most?" I asked, steering them away. Immediately, Tetsu looked thoughtful. His eyes taking on a far away quality. They came back soon.

"I want to swim in the ocean, like Yami said. I've wanted to for a long time."

The image of him doing this was so beautiful that it was like a tranquil euphoria. His dancer limbs moving forward in the water, elegance beyond what he could do on land, flowing in the water ever forward. Then, I thought of him doing the backstroke and I... I sighed.

"I want you to swim," I said, longing for it.

He smiled so much. "Then it's settled. We'll go. We'll make a plan, and we'll go soon." He reached over and pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear casually. I was absolutely taken.

"I'm going to shop," Sawai-san said. She took out her phone, turning it on immediately. "Now you have me thinking about this. I have to plan this out. Find the best places."

"Ooh, I want to shop," Tetsu gasped, distracted now. I gazed at his face, smiling. He was so excited, and so was I. My mind was drifting away from stressful things.

"Okay, so, I'll start planning. We'll call everyone and figure everything out. Think about Okinawa, okay? Get out of the hospital." Yami's last sentence was like a playful tease.

I was smiling so much that I didn't mind. "Okay, I'll try my best," I assured him.

"That's what I wanted to hear," he said happily. "I'll let you go now. Look up places to shop. Maybe if you find some good ones, we can plan on where we want to stay."

"Sounds good. We'll keep it in mind," I said, picking up Tetsu's cellphone.

"Okay. Good-night."

"Good-night," I said, still smiling so much. I realized in an instant that my heart wasn't pounding anymore. Maybe my body had calmed down from my inhaler, or maybe it was his words. Maybe it was a combination of both.

"Good-night," Tetsu said to him, coming out of his distraction for a moment. Sawai-san showed her phone to us, pictures of shopping places on it.

"Night," she echoed.

I hung up the phone and gave it back to Tetsu. He put it in my purse, and immediately went back to the distraction at hand. Sawai-san scooted her chair closer to us, and leaned over, giving her phone to me so I could hold it in the middle of us. Exciting images of neon signage, shopping malls, and long streets full of shops filled the screen.

Like this, we lost ourselves. Already on vacation, forgetting where we were.