My eyes snapped open, and I wheezed, rolling over. I hit my forehead on a metal bar suddenly, my eyes closing hard. "Eh- ehhh..." I wondered. That wasn't right. I wheezed and coughed, my body spasming in it.

"Oh no, Sana, did you hit your head? Oh no." Tetsu's voice. It was dark in the room.

"I d- I need to throw up," I wheezed. Somewhere far away, my heart monitor was beeping rapidly. I paused. My chest hurt, a full feeling inside. The light flicked on, and he was there, running to me. My eyes widened. This was not my hospital room.

"It's okay, you can throw up. Here." He shoved a yellow plastic basin under my face, as I was now clearly leaned against the metal part of side rail. But, my bed side rail had been plastic, or at least plastic covered.

"Mm, mm..." I wheezed. "I can't breathe." My nose twitched. I realized I was wearing oxygen tubing.

"Maybe your oxygen needs to be turned up," he said, the back of his hand now on my forehead.

"What's happening," I asked, going into a cough again.

"We're in Tokyo. You were transferred to Yokohara-sensei's hospital."

"Huh- why," I asked, staring at the yellow basin.

He began slowly rubbing my bangs, and my eyes closed. The heavy feeling in my chest was starting to ease. "You had a cardiac episode. Yokohara-sensei wants you here."

"Oh."

"Do you not remember?" He sounded concerned. He sat down, and his chair scraped the floor as he got closer to me. His hand didn't leave my forehead.

I shook my head. "I don't remember anything." His breath was on my face, and the yellow basin disappeared. His warm lips met my bangs, and I breathed deeply, wheezing again. "We were watching TV."

"That's okay. I'll tell you what happened, baby," he said gently, kissing my hair again. I wheezed deeply again. He got up and walked around to the opposite end of my bed. He must have pressed the nurse call button, because a nurse answered over the intercom in the device.

"Do you need me?" She asked.

"Yes. Sana is having trouble breathing. He's coughing and wheezing. It might be an asthma attack, I- I don't know. It could be his heart." Slight panic filled his voice which was calm moments before. My eyebrow creased in concern for him.

"I'll be right there."

"Thank you." He sat down next to me again. "Still feel sick?" He asked. I closed my eyes. "Sana?" He asked, small panic in his voice. "Oh- uh-" His hand was on my shoulder, and my world swam as he shook me slightly. "Sana? Are you slee- sleeping? What-" He was stuttering.

He sniffled, and my body relaxed, the heavy feeling in my chest returning, like it was so full. It started to hurt, like it could burst like a water balloon. I was floating in darkness.

"Sana, what-" He said somewhere. "Sah-nah," he said more forcefully, saying each syllable of my name separately. I swam more, as I clearly felt him shaking me by the shoulders. Something was beeping rapidly somewhere. So quietly, I heard him sob something that I couldn't quite make out. A small choke. Then I understood what he'd said. He'd said, I want my mom.

My ears were ringing. I was awake, but my eyes were not open. People were talking.

"I'm sorry you have to think about these things. But, it's not like it was in December. He wasn't like this. I was wrong." Haru's voice.

"But... But..." Tetsu's voice was desperate. He broke down, a long breath leaving him. "I wouldn't even know how to contact his family. I don't know their names. And 'Morita', that's such a common family name. And, why would they want to know about this? They abandoned him! We're his family now! I am! And I say they don't need to know anything!" I'd never heard that enraged tone of his before. I shrank a little in my bed, automatically scared.

"They have a right to know-"

"They don't! They gave up that right when they told him to get lost! He hasn't spoken to them in over fifteen years!"

"Now, now. Calm down. Let's be reasonable about this." Tetsu's papa was in the room, too. "Tetsu just said he doesn't know how to contact them. That's it. It doesn't need to go any further."

"Yami would know. Contact Yami. He's right here in Tokyo. We could know in minutes. I don't think you understand how serious this is."

Tetsu burst into sobs. I wanted to hold him so desperately. Tell him he didn't need to contact anybody. That I was okay. I was right here.

"They hurt him..." He sniffled. "They didn't w- want him. Why would they want to know? We're his family now. We're all he needs. They don't need to know anything. I don't want them involved."

"Okay, that's the end of it, then," his papa said. "That's enough. That's it. That's enough. I appreciate your concern, Haru. But, it sounds like they wouldn't be interested anyway. We shouldn't involve the Moritas if it will bring hardship to the situation. It's hard enough."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but," Natsuko was speaking, from the opposite side of my bed. "From what I heard about them from Yami one time, back in December? Sana's family is not like ours. I know Tetsu knows that, too. That's why he's so upset. You don't get it. Can I tell them?" She asked, gently. Tetsu must have given her silent permission, because she went on. "They're very strict. They're part of the upper class. I don't mean they're just wealthy. They have strict rules and traditions. Apparently, Sana's mother's side in particular has been wealthy at least since Edo. Then, you bring in Sana's father's side, which is in fact distantly related to the imperial family and has a long history in the upper branches of the military."

"Excuse me?" Tetsu's papa said, under his breath. It was almost a cough.

"Yes. I refused to believe it at first, but Yami proved it. They're not part of the wealthiest branch of the family, but they're still pretty well off and hold those old traditions. And with traditions come rules about who you're allowed to be. According to Yami, they were not happy, to say the least, about what they perceive as Sana's 'life choices'. His mother in particular was incensed. I found all of this out, because I kept asking if we should let them know how sick Sana was. I couldn't conceive of a family like his. I almost didn't believe they could exist. We don't want them involved, trust me. It would bring terrible hardship to an already extremely hard situation."

There was a long pause in the room. Tetsu's papa sputtered to life. "Are- are you saying that we're now related to the imperial family?" He asked quietly, his voice so shocked.

No one said anything.

He let out a long breath. "I've got to go walk around."

"Take a breather, papa," Tetsu said, patting him hard on the back. Heavy footsteps left the room. Tetsu sighed deeply. "The point is, they haven't spoken to Sana in over fifteen years. It's obvious they don't want anything to do with him. I know he hasn't been removed from his family registry, because he's used it, but-"

"His family registry. You have a copy. That's how we could find them."

"HARU!" Natsuko yelled, her chair scraping suddenly. "You haven't heard a word! You don't get it!"

"No, no. Even if we did contact them, I'm sure they wouldn't talk to us. You really haven't heard a word, she's right." Tetsu sounded exasperated. "Why would they talk to us? According to Sana, they'd see us as 'commoners'. People who are beneath them. He said they talked to their servants like they're dogs. They don't even look at people who serve them, and their servants aren't allowed to look them in the face. That's the class of people we're talking about. They wouldn't talk to us even if we contacted them."

Haru let out a long, frustrated sound.

"I know your heart is in the right place," Natsuko said. "But, we can't contact them. End of story."

"What would they do, anyway? They'd make trouble for us. I don't want them involved." Tetsu was getting upset again. I wanted to hold his hand.

They were telling the truth, though it was a bit exaggerated. I'd said my mom wouldn't look at people who served her, and didn't want them to look her in the face. It had been her personal choice, not a rule. It was only rumor in my family that we were related to the imperial family, something they said to make themselves appear to be of even higher status. So many of our family friends claimed this, too, but when asked to show their family trees they suddenly got uptight. The difference was, when someone asked my father to show his family tree, my father would say, "you are free to look it up yourself."

However, Tetsu was absolutely right: my family would not talk to them. Especially after finding out who they were and how they were now related to me. Not because of their class status, but because of how much they could lose face with their friends and business associates if they found out I was married to someone in the entertainment industry. The rumors my mother's friends would start about me would make my mother die of shame.

It made me want to laugh about it, thinking of her losing her face because of me.

When I'd first told Tetsu about them, he'd been in shock. I often didn't tell people about my family. I let people believe I was part of a family in the middle class, like so many people. When in reality, when I'd first exited my family, I'd had no idea how to be a "normal" person. I'd explained all of this to Tetsu, and at first he'd laughed.

Then, he'd leaned in to me, his mouth open, as I'd laughed and talked about how lost I'd been. His attention had changed to a serious one, when he'd realized I wasn't lying. I didn't think he thought I was lying, really, but more of a non-belief, like most people. A "surely you must be joking" kind of attitude, and "when are you going to drop the joke and tell me the truth?" I was used to it.

I told him I hadn't known the first thing about laundry. When I lived with Yami that first year after falling out with my family, he'd rolled his eyes so much at me that I thought they'd fall out of his head. "Why are you throwing away your clothes?!" He'd yelled at me. "Are you stupid?! What the fuck?!" I'd explained to him simply that they were dirty and I needed new clothes. He called me his old nickname for me, which was "Princess", but not as an endearment. "Oh, does the Princess need new clothes?! Do your laundry!" He'd pulled me by the wrist and shown me his washing machine in the bathroom. He'd pressed the buttons for me, showing me. I'd broken down, absolutely blubbering, that I didn't know how to do laundry, I wanted to, but nobody had ever taught me, because I was expected to be above doing it. "The lady of the house doesn't do laundry, I can't touch it," I'd explained, such a feeling of fear of being scolded for it going through me. He'd given me an exasperated look, his arms folded in front of him. "Who's a lady?" He'd asked. Then I'd realized I was free to do what I wanted, because I could live as the man I know I am for the first time. I was in shock.

I'd explained to Tetsu that Yami had taught me so much about being a human being. I learned how to clean a house. I found out the differences between soap that goes in a toilet bowl and soap that goes on a window. I learned how to budget and that money doesn't just "appear", you have to earn it and that takes a lot of hard work. Most importantly, I learned that there were foods that could hurt me. My whole life, I'd been on a strict medical diet, and I'd had no idea. Every meal had been planned for me. I learned about junk food and McDonald's. Oh, McDonald's. I loved it. I ate way, way too much McDonald's that first year. Yami had teased me I'd get fat, and that idea delighted me. I'd always been pressured to be willow thin to attract a good husband.

Tetsu had listened to it all, his mouth open eventually. "I can't believe it. You're so different from the person you're describing! You're very independent. You work three jobs. I'd term you as successful!"

I'd nodded. "It's been many years. I've learned a lot."

He'd sighed, though, overwhelmed. "For them to have thrown you out... For what? Because you didn't want to marry someone you didn't want to marry?"

"No, it's more than that. I told them I'm transgender, and that I intended to transition using the money from my yearly allowances. I was quite a naïve child. I didn't think they'd yank everything away. But, they did. I was eighteen years old. I knew nothing of the world, though I thought I knew everything."

He'd held me then. I wasn't upset, I was just telling him a story. I felt nothing about it by then. I'd long since gotten over it, proven that I could take care of myself. That I didn't need to be in their system to survive. But, for him it was new. It was a lot for him to take in. It'd be a lot to take in for anybody.

But, why were they talking about my family now? For what purpose? Haru had been so insistent that they contact them, even wanting to use my family registry. My chest felt tight again, that full, burning feeling. My eyes were rolling this way and that in my head, from this feeling in my chest.

An explosion of air sound came from Tetsu, interspersed with his voice. I couldn't understand what he'd said. The scraping of chairs made my nerve endings burn, the tips of my fingers tingling in fear. Rushing footstep sounds, they were calling out to each other. I couldn't understand them, my ears were like I was under water.