I was wiping Sana's face with a soapy washcloth, making sure I wasn't getting it near his eyes. He was still asleep, and had been all day. I hoped he was healing in his sleep, not getting worse... That thought made me stop. I used the other end of the washcloth, the part with no soap, to clean off the soap I'd just applied. I hoped my washing his face would make him feel better, in some way.

Natsuko was washing his feet, on the other end of the bed. She'd seen me preparing the water and soap in the small basin, and had asked if she could help in some way. Nervously, I'd agreed. I'd explained that it was easy for him to get sweaty when he slept like this. He was unable to tell if he was too hot, so he would endure that, his body sweating. I'd noticed his face was a little shiny, so I knew it had happened again. I'd adjusted his blankets, folding it down to his stomach, hoping to relieve some of the heat.

"All done," she said, peering down at her good work. She put the washcloth in the sink, and washed her hands. I was so grateful to her. She had no idea.

I finished up, too, and dumped the soapy water out. I washed my hands, and went back to him. I swept his bangs away, and kissed his forehead. She and I sat down together again, and she popped a fruit candy in her mouth from her purse. She thought for a moment, and offered me one. It was a little strawberry hard candy. I gratefully accepted it.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something earlier, but I think it's a bit sensitive, so I didn't want to talk about it in front of mom." She wasn't even looking at me as she said this. So casual sounding. My eyes widened, and I slowly straightened up, staring at her. My heart started beating fast.

"Um... Yeah? What is it?" I asked, trying not to show her my nervousness. She picked up on it anyway. My sister was always so smart.

She grabbed my hand. I jumped. "What are you so nervous about?" She asked. She shook our hands between our seats. "I'm your sister!"

"I uh- I don't know. What do you want to talk to me about?"

"About something you said the other day. I've been wondering about it." She stuck her lip out a little, just like our mom. Her eyebrow creased deeply, the same way our papa's does when he's thinking too hard.

"What did I say?" I froze, staring at her. My heart was jumping in my chest.

"I don't know, I've been thinking about it. You got so excited about the kimono in Sana's apartment. You immediately put one on. I was so excited about that. I thought you looked so pretty. And then later, you said to Sana that you're 'non-binary'?"

I felt like my body exploded, but I was still sitting in my chair. Like an impossibly big firework went off inside of me. Every nerve ending in my body was firing. I accidentally gripped her hand hard when she said that last word.

Her mouth opened, and she grinned at this. I knew my face looked like I'd seen something frightening. I couldn't hide it.

"I knew it!" She shouted. "I know from your reaction! You're always so transparent! You can't hide anything!"

"What do you mean 'you know it'?! I didn't say anything!" I gasped, my mouth wide open.

"I mean, isn't it obvious? The way you choose to present yourself on stage. I always wondered, 'is it really acting? Or is that my brother?' I think that's just my brother! You acted too well! It couldn't be acting!"

"Ah-ah, I was thinking this earlier." Here it was. I knew it. "The drag persona is different from the real person. You have to know that. It's just drag."

"If it's 'just drag' then you must be the greatest drag performer in the world, because it definitely doesn't look like you're acting. Let me just say, whenever I see you perform, I'm so proud of you. I think, 'if that's just my brother, then he's so beautiful'. I often wonder if you and Aurelia are one and the same. When you tried on one of Sana's kimono the other day, I had the same thought. Here you were, wearing something normal, with your real hair and everything. I thought, 'how great is this'. Then, I overheard you say to Sana that you're non-binary, and everything made sense for the first time. I was so happy for you, but I was shocked to finally put it together. It fits! If it's true, then I don't care. You're still my brother, I just know more about you. I think it would be great. I also thought, how great it would be for you and Sana. I know Sana is transgender. It made sense immediately to me, too, about why you two could have bonded so quickly. If you're non-binary, it makes total sense. Does he know?"

As she was speaking, her tone got softer and softer, much more gentle, because as she was speaking, I'd slowly covered my whole face with my hands. As she was speaking, I'd let her know with this gesture, that what she was saying was true. She knew it all. She was so smart. I hadn't been able to hide a single thing, for years. I thought I'd been the smart one. I had been wrong.

I nodded, breathing inward so hard that it was audible, breaking through my hands. "Yes, he knows. I told him, and he accepts me completely. He told me... He told me that I'm perfect. That he loves everything about me. That's one of the reasons why I love him so much. No one else, and I mean no one else, has ever loved me like that before. I was too scared to tell any of my other boyfriends." The image of Keisuke's fist coming at me for arriving home still in my drag flashed in front of my eyes. His devil face, enraged out of this world at me for showing my feminine face. I gasped, covering my face anew.

"Well, you don't have to be scared to tell me. I know Naoko wouldn't judge you, either. Let me say, we think you're perfect the way you are, too-"

She didn't get to finish, because I'd embraced her too fast. She was shocked for a moment, and then she hugged me back. My breath was shaking, and my arms tightened around her.

She started speaking so gently. "How long have you felt like this? That you're non-binary?"

"Since I was a kid. I just- I didn't have a word for it, but I didn't entirely feel like I fit in as a boy."

She chuckled quietly. "We knew that, too. You're not like the other boys."

I sniffled. "I know! I'm definitely not. But, it goes beyond that. I feel like I have this female spirit, almost, inside. Along with myself. That's why I created Aurelia. I embody her spirit when I perform. I don't want to sound crazy."

She parted from me, but we were still so close to each other. She was smiling. "It doesn't sound crazy to me at all. If that's who you are, then that's who you are."

I nodded, looking down at the white tiles on the floor. "Thank you. I don't know what to say."

"That's okay."

I jumped, realizing something.

"Oh, it's okay," she chuckled, showing me she was okay with all of this, from her tone alone, so casual. "Don't be scared."

"But... Oh, but, don't tell mom and papa. I don't know what I'd do if they didn't approve. Mom is..." I decided to tell her. I had no choice. If she told them... "Mom is helping Sana and I so much. Papa is, too. If he hadn't intervened that day when Sana was shaking, I don't know what I would have done. I completely panicked, unable to help him. I need them. If they find out about me, and don't approve, and turn us away..." My breathing was too quick. I was going to choke.

"Oh, shh, shh," my sister shushed, her hands on my shoulders now. I hiccupped, unexpectedly. "Ah, you're panicking so much you gave yourself the hiccups! Look at you! I'll get you some water."

I nodded. She got up and went to the sink, turning on the water. She found a clear plastic cup in a cabinet, and began to fill it. She turned back to me. "You can't really believe that mom and papa wouldn't approve of you, do you? You've got to know how proud of you they are. Mom admires your costumes all the time. She's so happy that all the folk dancing classes she paid for when we were kids paid off. Remember when she forced us into that? You were the only one of us who appreciated it and really enjoyed it. You have to know how happy that makes her. She's so proud of you. Papa is, too. I know he can be guarded with his emotions, but I can tell." She sat down and handed me the cup of water. I drank it gratefully, thinking about her words.

I swallowed, feeling the ball of hiccups go down. "But, I don't know what they're really thinking. What if they think it's going too far? What if they kick Sana and I out? What would I do?"

"Gosh, Tetsu. I don't think that would happen, but you know you and Sana could stay with me!"

My eyes started to ache, slow tears coming to them. "Really?" I asked.

"Of course! But, it's not going to happen! Mom and papa would totally approve of you! It's kind of laughable that you think they wouldn't! Sana dresses as a girl all the time. You think they care?!"

I sighed. "Ah, but, I was thinking about that earlier, too. What if they don't care because they can't tell the difference between himself and his drag persona? I thought that about you, too." She looked like she was about to interrupt me, her face crinkling and her mouth opening. "Ah- wait. Even if they don't think that, what if they'd care if it was me doing that instead? What if it's only okay because it's not me? What if they care if I do it, and they don't like it?"

She sighed. "Honestly, Tetsu. Where is this coming from? I know papa can be old fashioned, but mom absolutely isn't. It's already a miracle that they don't care that you're gay. They're overjoyed that you're married and have a husband! How many people of the older generation would? They'd at least hesitate. But, not our parents. What makes you ever think they'd care that you like women's clothes, too? They love us unconditionally. They're already so proud of what you do for work. They never batted an eye at that."

"Yes, but, Japan has a long history of male actors who dress as women professionally to act as women on stage. It's totally different than dressing as a woman from day to day, casually, and not for work. It's totally different if it's the real you."

Her hand was on my shoulder again. "Is that what you think? I don't think that's true at all. You should be allowed to dress and be who you want to be. I think mom and papa would think that, too. What I'm saying is, they already love and accept your stage persona. Imagine if they found out that's who you are. Mom says Aurelia is so beautiful. She'd be so happy to find out that Aurelia is really her son being himself. She- she really would be- oh- oh, Tetsu... Don't cry... Come here..."

I'd broken down at her last sentence. About my mom being proud to find out Aurelia was really her son. It was such a beautiful thought. Was that really true? Could that be true? What she was saying about my mom? I wanted it to be true so much. So, so much. With everything inside of myself. My sister embraced me again, tighter than before.

Everything was coming out in my tears. My fears, my hopes, my dreams, my stress and worry. Everything, like a cork had been pulled. My secret. This secret. Her knowing. Her saying these kind things. Finally, one of my family members knowing. It was everything. I didn't feel scared anymore.

"Don't worry, okay?" She said to me, starting to rock me back and forth like our mom did to us when we were kids, making me cry even more, realizing this movement. "I won't tell anyone. When you're ready, if you want to be ready, you can tell someone else. But, I won't tell anyone. I know how important this is. What's at stake. I researched about LGBT things, because of you. That's why I know what that word means. You've really taught me a lot. I'm so proud of you."

I hugged her even tighter, blubbering in my tears. She just held me for a long time, letting me know how much she accepted and loved me. Showing me her love, her sisterly love.