I was awake, but dozing. The beeping of machines was telling me I was in the hospital. It's just a fact of life now. I was in the hospital yesterday, and I'm in the hospital again today. Or was it yesterday? How long have I been here this time?

To my left, the sound of someone walking. With effort, my eyes opened a little. A man in scrubs was prepping a syringe with little ticking noises as he flicked it with his fingers.

"I don't want a shot, I hate needles," I said, surprising the heck out of him. He jumped, his eyes wide.

"Nice to see you awake, Morita-san. Do you know why you are here?"

"I was having high blood sugar."

"That's right, and you still are. This is insulin. It shouldn't hurt."

"Okay. Insulin usually doesn't hurt."

He nodded, giving me a serious expression as he leaned down to my arm. I looked away as he gave it to me. I felt nothing at all. He was good at this. "All done," he said. "I'll come back later to see if you need more. Your counts are better than what they were, but you're being stubborn."

"Oh, tell me about it. It takes forever to get my counts down."

"That's useful to know." He pointed towards my bed, and I followed his finger. A smile erupted on my face, as I saw Tetsu on a chair, his head on my bed with his arms splayed beyond it. Not exactly cozy, but at least he could sleep. "Seems like your friend finally fell asleep. We've been talking a bit. He was very worried."

"Oh- that's my husband," I grinned. My first time saying this to a stranger. Warm, happy bubbles started to fly around my body, causing me to tense up in joy.

"Wow, I never would have known that. No wonder! Then the woman who's here, too, must be your sister-in-law?"

"Maybe!" It was incredible that these words were coming out of his mouth. Sister-in-law. "What's her name?"

"Natsu? I didn't quite catch it."

"Natsuko? She's my sister-in-law."

"Yes! You have a lot of support, that's a very good thing."

"Yes, I do. I'm so grateful."

"I'm glad. Well, I have to complete my rounds. I should be back within two hours. So nice to meet you." He smiled and bowed to me, and I bowed back. He left.

To be honest, I was not feeling as peppy as I was acting towards my nurse. My eyes drooped down, but I snapped them open. I had to do something first. I rolled over, and began moving towards Tetsu, curling down. I managed to take his hand before I became overcome by sleep again.

"Don't wake him. Be patient, but he moved! He's holding your hand! He was awake!"

Liquid sounds, sniffling noises. Tetsu's voice, sounding so devastated. "I don't want to move. I want to keep holding his hand."

"Then don't move."

My body was so heavy. I wanted to move my hand, to show Tetsu I was awake, but it was so heavy. The magnet holding me to the bed was back. I groaned, frustrated.

Tetsu gasped. "Sana?!"

I groaned again. "I feel like crap."

"Oh, that's okay. You're going to be okay."

"I can't move. I'm so weak."

"That's okay." His weight was on the bed now, and he scooted towards me. He plopped down, and his arm was around my belly. His lovely face followed, pressed to my cheek.

"You're going to pull my wires." A small smile spread on my face.

"Was that a joke?" Natsuko asked, a hint of mirth in her voice.

"Yes."

Tetsu chuckled. His lips puckered against my cheek and my smile increased. His warm breath was my everything.

"Naoko put sugar in the cake," Natsuko said.

Tetsu gasped again. "Don't tell him that!"

"Huh? Sugar?"

Tetsu's breath slowed. He was right next to my bad ear, but I could hear his voice carrying over to my good one. My bad ear was distorting him a little, though. He kissed my cheek. "Yes. Naoko misread the label and put real sugar in our cake."

"She's so sorry. It's gutting her," Natsuko said.

"Mistakes happen. I don't blame her. But, wouldn't the recipe call for much less sugar than would taste good with real sugar? What happened there? It doesn't make any sense."

"Hmm." Natsuko made a popping sound with her lips. "She said she kept adding more, because the batter didn't taste right. I told her that should have been her first clue."

"Sounds like a comedy of errors."

Tetsu's arm tightened around my middle.

"Right, except there's nothing funny about it," Natsuko said. "My mom looked like she was ready to strike her, except my mom could never hit us. But, she got that angry. She blames her for ruining your night. I told her that's not right, that it's not Naoko's fault. It was truly a mistake. I think she's trying to place blame to make herself feel better."

"It's definitely not Naoko's fault. It was a mistake. This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me."

"That doesn't make it right."

Tetsu nuzzled my cheek. My smile was back. "We can learn from this. I'm glad you're okay," he said.

"I have to go call mom and papa. I know it's 4am, but they'll want to know you're okay. Can I get you two anything while I'm gone?"

"Huh? Why are you leaving? You can't call them here?" Tetsu sounded confused.

"I want to give you two some privacy."

"Oh." He sounded a little sad. I wanted to wipe that sadness away.

"Yeah. I'll be back soon. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm okay."

"And I bet I'm not allowed to have anything without a doctor's say-so," I sighed. My parched mouth was telling me I was thirsty.

"That's true. We can ask, though, if you want something." She sounded sympathetic.

"Okay."

Her footsteps faded away.

As soon as they did, Tetsu's liquid sounds were back. He sniffled. He shifted, and hugged my middle tighter. He nuzzled my ear. I wanted to turn to him and hold him.

"I'm sor-ry," he sniffled, so quiet.

"Why are you sorry?" Tiny curling wisps of pinching feeling were traveling up my body at his words, the way he was saying it.

He kissed my ear. "I'm sorry," he repeated. His voice crumbled, a small distorted sob in my ear.

I made a small noise in my throat. "Tetsu." I sniffled, too.

"I didn't know. I would have let you just go to sleep. I didn't know you ate so much suga-rrr..." The last word was a drawn out sob. Tears were burning in my eyes, gathering up slowly.

"Oh, darling..." I sniffed. "It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault."

"I should have known, I should have done somethi-ing..." He pressed himself to me more, his arm going up to my chest and pulling me closer to him.

"You couldn't have known." My eyebrows were peaking. "It's not your fault." I made kissing sounds, wanting to kiss him and try to make him feel better. My darling love. "No, it's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"I was so scared. I'm still scared," he sobbed, devastating my heart.

"Darling, I want to hold you. I'm so sorry," I whispered, my tears finally leaking out of my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.

He hiccupped, and I felt it all down my body. His sounds. I'd do anything to make him stop crying. He couldn't speak anymore, and I wondered if he had been holding this in. I made every effort I had to move, but I just couldn't. I was too heavy. My arm was twitching, and that was it.

"I want to hold you," I whispered, sniffling more. "I want to hold you."

"You rest," he said in a voice which made my heart break apart. His voice was becoming raw. "Just rest. I'll hold you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

For a long time, I listened to his quiet sobs, unable to do anything, agony. He shifted many times, gripping me in various ways, grabbing at me. In a small whisper, I heard the true source of his crying, and it made more burning tears come all the time.

"I was going to put you to bed. You could have died. It would have been my fault."

We cried together, and he was inconsolable. Crying for a long time. I heard Natsuko's footsteps come back, stop, and then fade away again. Over time, I was able to curl my fingers. I worked on this. I could move my arms a little. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, I could move my body a little. With massive effort, I turned on my side, making a straining noise in my throat. My arm plopped over Tetsu's middle, and I opened my eyes, unsealing their stickiness.

His face looked so scared. Innocent, like a child. "Oh, darling. Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked. I put my forehead on his, staring into his big brown eyes.

He sniffled. "I don't-" His body began quaking gently. His lovely eyes closed and a new sob came out of him. My fingers bent over and over on his back, trying to comfort him the best I could in my physical state. He gave a shaky breath. "I don't deserve you... I don't deserve you. I would have let you die..." His face was an agony, so much pain. I wanted to take that pain out of him somehow. Let him know he was okay. But, I didn't know how.

"I don't deserve you, my love. You take care of me so well," I said, trying to be calm for him.

"No," he said, deep in his throat, so full of liquid.

"I love you. I don't want you to go away." I wanted to wipe his tears away. My love.

"I won't." His arm tightened against my back, and he drew me even closer, our bellies against one another.

I puckered my lips, hoping. He met them. I didn't care that his dear face was so wet. The movements of his lips. My heart felt refreshed, my breath more clear. I realized I'd been holding in my breaths, so worried about him. He breathed deeply, too, pushing my head back a little in his eagerness to kiss me. His hand traveled up my back, and pressed me further to him, our chests against each other. His tongue licked my bottom lip, I opened my mouth slightly, and his tongue slipped inside. I made a tiny moan at this, and his leg went between mine. We were completely intertwined now, as it should be.

My heart was a giant butterfly, fluttering all the time. My belly was fully of butterflies, too. It had worked. He wasn't crying anymore.

After a while, I was still trying to make him feel better. I played with the fabric of his black kimono between my fingers as I gazed into his eyes. He wasn't crying anymore, but I knew he was still devastated. I was aching to tell him something, but telling him this would create more sadness.

I wanted to tell him that I used to suffer from high blood sugar a lot. That this scenario, being in the hospital getting repeated insulin doses, was not a new one to me. That I used to cause it to myself, because I had been depressed. Many times, I wouldn't go to the hospital. I'd fall asleep, hoping I wouldn't wake up. But, I woke up every time. However, I knew this information wouldn't make him feel better.

My eyes closed, lingered, and I opened them again. His hand was immediately in my hair, sweeping it back. I'd noticed my wig was off, my natural hair showing. He must have done this for me when I was asleep before, caring so much. It made my heart bloom.

"Are you tired?" He asked. "You can sleep. You're on monitors. You're safe." Trying to assure me. I adjusted myself against him, tucking my head closer to his in the process, my neck a little bent down. He adjusted, too, his hand settling on my upper back again. He began to rub there, and my eyes closed again. "Here." His lips found my forehead, and they stayed there, his jaw resting against it. His warm breath was in my hair. "Go to sleep. I'll protect you."

I sighed deeply at his words. "You always protect me. Thank you."

He pressed me closer to him. His hand left my back, and the warmth of the blanket was enveloping me. He tucked it under me the best he could, and his hand began to rub my back again. I sighed even deeper, and let myself relax completely.