In the emergency room, Sana was hooked up to machines. They were monitoring his heart. We were at the same hospital where he'd been treated in December, so they knew all about him. Yokohara-sensei had been called, much to Sana's protest. I held his hand, and let him know it would be fine. He was so upset. The truth was, I was upset, too, but I was trying to hold it in for him. I didn't want to make him more upset.

I couldn't let him know why I was upset.

I just thought, I was so close. I was so close to being the one who got to protect him in these situations. If we'd done it one day earlier. If I hadn't waited. My papa had been right. Don't wait, he'd said. Why hadn't I listened?

"I don't know why this happened," Sana was saying. He was laid in the hospital bed, the sheets over him. He'd said he felt hot, so I hadn't put the blanket on that was folded at his feet. "I was nervous, but why did this happen?"

"It's okay," I tried to assure him. "Maybe it will be like when we were at Disneyland, when Haru monitored you for a couple of hours."

"But, this is nothing like that. I understand why it could have happened then. I was so excited at the time. But, you were just talking to Keitaro-san, and..." He stopped talking, his eyes wide, his mouth parted. I saw on the monitor that his heart was going a lot faster now.

"Breathe," I told him, holding his hands. "It's okay. Don't talk. Relax."

"But..." His voice pinched. He was getting emotional again. Oh no, no, no.

I got up, and slid on to his bed. He scooted over. Gently, I got under his sheet with him. He climbed between my legs, and laid against me. I supported us both in a sitting position. Would this calm him down? Feeling me breathe, in this more familiar pose? I wrapped my arms around him, and he sighed deeply. I kissed his head. His hair still smelled so clean, that fresh lavender scent.

"You were tired earlier today. I wonder if coming to Tokyo was too much. We did so much today. I understand if your body is a little weaker, because of that. Cause and effect."

He nodded. "You have to be right. I can't figure it out." He was talking too fast. I began rubbing his belly to soothe him. He relaxed more.

My sister was texting my mom, sitting in a chair. Her thumbs were rapidly hitting the buttons, silently.

"I think we figured it out. You just over exerted yourself. That's all it is." I kissed his head again.

"Maybe."

"When they release you, you can take a nap. I'll hold you the whole way home."

"Aww..."

I rested my chin on his shoulder, my cheek to his cheek. My favorite pose. His eyes closed. I had been right. I had to be. He'd overdone it today. He was so tired. I kissed his cheek, and a slow smile spread on his face. I kissed it again, and he exposed his teeth a little, a sweet smile. "I love you," I told him certainly.

"I love you, too," he said, his eyes still closed.

After a little while, I was certain he was asleep. His heart monitor was steadily beeping, slow beats. Maybe what was wrong could heal now, since he was asleep. I relaxed, too, hoping this.

Natsuko peered up at me, and I looked over at her. She was holding her phone in her hands.

"You're not going to believe it," she said.

"Huh?" I whispered. "Shh. Lower your voice. I want Sana to sleep."

She nodded, but her face was one of shock. It worried me. "What's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head, slowly. A smile appeared. "It's mom. She said she and papa are coming to Tokyo right now. She wanted to know if you and Sana have your documents, and I said that you do. She said that papa said he wants you two to register to get married tomorrow, right here in Tokyo. He said there'd be no risk then of a repeat of events if we attempted to go back home, the long drive and everything. He said there's no reason to try it, when you two can get married here. That way, you'll have a piece of paper protecting you two in case a repeat did happen on the way home. Mom booked a hotel."

My eyes widened, my lips parted. She looked so proud and overjoyed, ready to burst. I let out a rush of air, and unintentionally hugged Sana tighter. I jumped a little, and released my grip a bit. He didn't stir.

I whispered. "But what if Sana isn't released by tomorrow? What if this is... What if..." I didn't want to think about that.

"That's okay. We'll do whatever it takes."

She went blurry. I nodded. "Thank you," I whispered, realizing that's as loud as I could go in my emotion.

She nodded back. "Mom also says that papa said he wants to get a moving truck together while we're all here. He said that way, there's less reason to go back and forth to Tokyo."

"What? I don't understand." What was she saying?

"Oh, I mean. Papa wants you to move all the stuff out of your apartments. He'll hire a moving crew. So you two don't have to come up and get stuff. All of your things will be nearby us, so it won't be a strain."

"I'm not sure that's his decision." I was thinking of Sana. Did he want to move all the stuff out of his apartment? Say good-bye to it? Did I want to say good-bye to my own apartment? Was it too fast? What did I want? I found myself breathing a little quicker. So, this must be a taste of what Sana felt. Nervousness.

"It will be better. You said you two want to move to our hometown, right? Why not now? So you two don't have to come back here again?"

So we didn't have to come back here again? "But, Yokohara-sensei is here. We'll still have to come back to see her. Our friends are here. Sana's band is here, and so is mine."

She nodded, her face sympathetic. "Just think about it. We don't want to force you. Papa just says it's a wise idea. He thinks in the long run, it will be less of a strain on you both."

My next words left my mouth before I had any time to think about them. Keitaro's remarks about my impulsivity echoed in my brain. "But then, we won't have anywhere to live." My eyes went wide as I said it. My true feelings.

"Nowhere to live?!" Natsuko sounded scandalized. "You know mom and papa have a home for you no matter what!"

"But." I let it come, my true thoughts. Not thinking about what I was saying. "I wouldn't be a good provider for Sana if we have nowhere to live of our own. With our apartments, we still have a place to live. If I don't stop paying on my apartment, we'll always have a nice place to go."

"Oh, Tetsu. Wait until mom hears about this."

I shook my head slowly, suddenly sad. "Don't tell mom about this. Please. She'll be offended. I'm grateful for what mom and papa are doing for us, I am. But, we need a place of our own to live. As long as we have our apartments, we have that. And, then, I don't feel like such a...failure." Wow. These were my true thoughts? How I felt? Something inside of me felt like the bottom was pulled out from under it.

Natsuko gasped. "You're not a failure! Are you kidding?! Look at you! Look at how you're literally supporting Sana right now!"

I nodded. "But how well can I support him? If we get rid of our apartments, how am I not a failure? How can I provide for him?"

Her eyes were shining, her mouth parted. "You're not a failure. I can't believe you're saying this."

"I must just be tired. Forget it." I couldn't look at her. I found a piece of lint on the front of Sana's dress, and flicked it away.

"I can't just forget it when my brother is asking for help."

I nodded again. I didn't know what to say to her.

"You're not a failure." Her voice was full of determination. "You're doing your best! That's all that can be asked for. We know how important he is to you. We want to do our best, too, to help you. Even if you do feel like you're failing, we're here to provide. You're not alone in this. Even if you can't do it, we can do it. Don't worry about anything. Just worry about caring for him and keeping yourself healthy. He's the love of your life! We all see that. You're-" She choked up, and my lip started to quiver. I breathed in, and let out a small noise. She continued. "You're my big brother. We never thought you'd want to get married. Now you do, and to such a wonderful person. We all love Sana, not just you. We want to provide for him, too. He's family now. You two don't need to worry about a thing. We can see you love each other. We love you, too." Tears were rolling down her face.

I sniffled. I nodded, and hugged Sana tighter to myself. Big tears were rolling down my cheeks, dripping on to his exposed shoulder.

"I just think the world is cruel," she said, letting her tears come with abandon. "It's so cruel! Because, you found the one you love, and he's sick! How can the world do that? It's one thing to have to meet later in life, but for that to happen, also? Maybe it's for a reason. But what reason?! I want you to just be happy, be able to do what you want to do. I can't come up with any reason why it should be like this. Not a single thing!"

I sniffled and nodded into Sana's shoulder gently. I absolutely agreed. There was no reason for this. It was just how it happened. There didn't have to be a reason.

She paused, wiping her tears from her face. "But no matter what, we're here for both of you. Whatever you need. You need a home? We'll give you a home."

I sniffed hard, my eyes aching in so many tears. "Thank you," I whispered.