As we waited for the pizza that my mom had ordered to come, my mom yelped and her fist hit her hand. I jumped in my papa's chair. She'd turned on the TV to calm us down, so I'd been watching it. She turned it down now with the remote, and looked at me, the biggest smile on her face. My head was aching from when I'd cried earlier, and I was tired from it. 

"Huh? What?" I asked, startled.

"Yokohara-sensei isn't the only doctor we know!"

"Yes, but," I sighed, knowing how sad my face looked to her. "Any doctor isn't going to tell us anything about Sana. Not right now. I've been thinking about it. I know we got lucky with Yokohara-sensei. She was really breaking the rules. And those emergency room doctors, and the ones at the hospital here, it only felt like they were telling me things, but really, they were talking to Sana-"

"No, no, no. Wait. You don't understand." Her hands were up, stopping me.

"Huh?" I leaned in.

"Haru! Haru is a doctor! Maybe he can look over Sana and help!"

"Huh?" I repeated, leaning back in my chair. I thought for a minute. Then I shook my head. "He's a pediatrician. How would he look over Sana? With what equipment? I don't think-"

My mom interrupted me again. "Don't say no. It's a chance. He might be able to help. Don't be negative."

"Okay."

My mom took her phone out of her obi, where it had been tucked in place. She dialed a number, and waited. "Ah! Hello, Natsuko! Is Haru home? Ehhhh? He's not?! When does he get home?! ...What do I want Haru for? Wait until I tell you!"

My mom recounted the whole story. Hearing her version of it was interesting. It was more simplified. It seemed a lot more simple than it felt. "Yes!" She said. "Why don't you two come over for dinner? If he's coming home in thirty minutes, tell him to come here. We can discuss things. I'm so glad you think he can help. Yes, okay. Come over right now. I already ordered pizza. What do you mean 'what kind is it'? It's pizza! That's all you need to know!" She was laughing. 

I couldn't believe she could laugh. I felt so far from laughing.

We all gathered in the living room. My papa was home now, and sitting in his chair. My mom, Natsuko, Haru, and I were at the kotatsu. The pizzas my mom had ordered were between us, and my papa was eating in his chair. I hadn't touched a bit of it, but my mom had noticed. She'd made me eat a little. Sana was asleep still, and I vowed inside that I'd get him to eat some of the chicken my mom had ordered with it. I made sure we saved him some.

"Haru," my mom was saying now, "you know why we invited you two here. Natsuko told you, right?"

Haru nodded. He was always pretty shy, the quiet type. Natsuko was the bold one in their relationship, bold enough for the both of them. "I know a lot about Diabetes. I treat some children who have type one, as Sana has. But, his is different, and difficult. I've heard what Natsuko has told me about his symptoms over these past months. We talk about it sometimes."

That was news to me. I looked at Sana sleeping on the couch, listening for his breathing. He seemed to be okay. I couldn't relax.

"Oh, so you've talked about him? What do you think?" My mom took a bite of her pizza.

"Yes, as I've said, his symptoms are difficult. They don't come from the normal reasons. Often, a child will be born with some kind of specific dysfunction. But, his comes from a dysfunction in the brain, as I've been told. I've also been told that often, there's no rhyme or reason for his symptoms. So, it must be very difficult to treat."

I nodded at this, as he was talking. 

He peered at me, looking sympathetic. "It must have been so hard these past few days. I'm so sorry. Confusion, especially in a young person, is very distressing. It could be coming from any number of things having to do with his condition. You said his main symptom of low blood sugar is shaking, right? I heard that. This confusion is new?"

I nodded more, clenching my fists under the table, then unclenching them. "It came out of nowhere. He seems distressed by it. He seemed really worried today, about himself. That's the most upsetting part. He doesn't know what's happening, either." I realized I'd just said something really personal. I bowed my head.

Haru picked up on this. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. This is important information." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "If he's distressed by it as well, then it really came out of nowhere for him. That is useful to know. It means it might not have happened to him ever before, and it's truly a new symptom."

I nodded. "I'm glad I told you, then." I was still hesitant.

"It's a good clue. Sadly, as Natsuko told me, it could indicate a decline due to a new and severe symptom." 

My mouth opened, as I looked at him again. He caught this, and Natsuko's mouth opened, too. 

He continued. "Ah- I mean, I don't really know that. I don't know his case directly. I'd need more information. He might be able to give it to me. His history of symptoms, major flares, things of that nature. I might be able to figure out a pattern. That could be a major clue. Now, I can't treat him. He's not a child, so I can't admit him to my practice. Even if I could, there's patient confidentiality, as Yokohara-sensei described to you. Natsuko was telling me you need a piece of paper. That's true. But, as your mom said, being married is just as good. You can even pick up his prescriptions for him, things of that nature. You can sign medical paperwork, as his legal proxy. Things like that. That is true."

Natsuko jumped in. I could tell my face still looked devastated. She looked sympathetic, probably because of this. "Do you two want to get married? Have you discussed it? I know mom and I are always pushing you. That's just because we're excited. We were just playing-"

"I wasn't playing," my mom chimed in. 

Natsuko cleared her throat, a small smile on her face. "Okay, so we weren't playing. But, have you two discussed it? I can see how the legal aspects would help you. But there's the 'forever' part, also. What do you two think of that part?"

I stared at her. My brow creased a little more, and then undid itself. I knew the answer, I realized. It had been there all along. "Well, Sana has been devoted to me for over ten years, as a fan of my music. He's been very attentive. He brings up things from my blog that I'd completely forgotten about. Little details. It shows he really cares. For example, he guessed that I like marine biology before I told anyone on my blog. He said he knew a full year before I said anything, just from my professional name. He's that devoted."

"Hmm," my mom put her chin in her hand, leaning on the table. "But does that mean he likes your music, or..."

"Mom!" Natsuko scolded, looking scandalized. "Of course it means he loves Tetsu!"

"I'm just bringing it up. We have to consider it."

I was the one smiling now. Just a little. "No, I think it means he loves me. He's been paying attention. You can't be that devoted for over ten years and not love someone. He might not have known my real name, but he was paying attention to little details and trying to figure me out, as a person. He was trying to figure out the real me, and he got pretty close." I closed my mouth quickly. The real me. What had I been about to say? That he'd figured out I'm non-binary? And he was that devoted, because of that fact? Because we were so similar? And that part of the reason I loved him more than anything, was because he saw the real me and loved me even more because of it? Because that was the truth. I'd just been about to say it. I blushed. 

"Then he'd want to marry you! It's simple!" Natsuko exclaimed a little loudly. I put my finger over my lips and pointed to Sana. "Sorry!" She said in a loud whisper. "Ah-ah," she sighed, her hands on the sides of her face. "How are you going to do it?! How are you going to propose?! I'll help you!"

"I don't know if there's time for that. You need that paper now. Yokohara-sensei said so with little doubt today, right? I hate to say it, but what if something happens tomorrow and you don't have it? What will you do then?" Haru was being sensible. He made me pause. That same sadness came out of the darkness in me.

"This is true," my mom said. She looked up at the ceiling, thinking.

"Let's expedite it, then," Natsuko said, excitedly. Her smile was so big. It took me aback. "Let's plan something. You can propose. We don't want to take the romance out. Right? That's important."

I nodded rapidly. "It's very important. Sana is a very romantic person, and so am I. Ah, the stories I could tell you. He's so thoughtful. I don't want to take that away from him. We're marrying for love." I eyed my mom. Her expression softened. "But also for legal reasons. We can't take the love out of it. To me, that's the most important part. However, we have to think about the legal part foremost."

"Okay, so here is what you're going to do." 

We all jumped and looked at my papa. I'd honestly forgotten he was in the room, but he'd been listening the whole time. 

He said this unsmiling, with authority, "you will propose soon. Then, you will go get your marriage license and be registered. You will have the piece of paper you need. Then you can plan everything else. It's clear to me what must be done." He took a casual sip of his beer as if he hadn't said anything special.

Our mouths were open, silent. 

My mom broke the silence. "Papa! That's brilliant! That's what we need!" 

He just nodded, as if he knew all along. 

Natsuko leaned in towards me on her side of the table. I leaned in, too. "Now, how are you going to do it? Do you have a ring? Now, I have some ideas, too, because I've been thinking about it-"

I started laughing, miraculously, surprising myself. It felt so weird. "You've been thinking about it? What kinds of scenarios have you thought of?" 

"Heyyy, of course I have! You two are so cute together! I was thinking about..."

We all leaned in as we listened. My smile grew wider and wider.