"I see. They fired you. Do I need to go over there? I can fight them. I'll take Masaki and Shizue. We'll talk to them. We'll let them know you're doing a bit better." Nobu paused in his ranting. "What are your plans? Are you coming back to Tokyo soon? What should we tell them? What do you want us to say?"

I was in bed with Tetsu, and Nobu was on speaker. It was the early morning. Tetsu was currently combing the wig on my head, getting rid of static. He did it with such care. I could feel his gentle tugging. I was staring at the bedspread, a palm tree pattern. I was letting Nobu talk, as I liked him to do, but now he'd asked me a question I didn't know. 

I didn't have to answer.

"We're not sure yet. It's undecided," Tetsu replied, clearly in thought. I looked over to him, and he was staring at the ceiling now, stopped in his combing. 

"Undecided? What's going on?" Nobu didn't sound upset by this. Just curious.

Before Tetsu could answer again, I spoke up. "It's a serious issue."

"How serious?" Nobu's tone changed now, a softer tone. Not what I'd expected. 

Tetsu grabbed my hand, and I squeezed his. Things seemed to be moving so fast. I didn't want to talk about this. Tetsu and I hadn't talked about this. 

The truth was, the situation with my work was making all of this solidly real for me. How serious this was. Too much change, too soon. It felt like everything was gone, and it wasn't only a feeling, it was true. My music career. Tetsu's music career. My job. Our lives in Tokyo. Really, what was there in Tokyo for us? We had friends and acquaintances there, yes. But I had this empty feeling now. I was still in shock. The idea that all of this could be real was a concept that my brain just couldn't deal with. It was too much.

My hand traveled to my chest before I realized it. I was breathing hard. I realized my heart was starting to pound in my chest. My breath like an escalating wind.

"Oh, oh, oh, Sana," Tetsu said quietly. 

"What?!" Nobu asked, alarmed.

"We should talk about something else," Tetsu responded. "Ara, ara, ara, Sana-a... Don't think about it. Think about baking a cake. Think about baking some bread." 

Tetsu's hands were around my hand that was on my chest. I breathed, trying to control it. The fluid in my head was trying to spin, thinking about these changes. 

"I'll get your inhaler," Tetsu said. He made to get off the bed. I shook my head as quickly as I could. 

"I don't need it. It's okay."

"But," Tetsu said, quietly, unsure.

"I'm sorry I asked about that, Sana. Don't worry about it. It's okay," I heard Nobu say over the phone. He hurriedly changed track. "Hey, I've got Lily here. Why don't I play something? What do you want to hear?" 

"That would be nice. I miss hearing you play." I breathed steadily, and Tetsu was back, rubbing my shoulder. "How about 'La Foule' by Edith Piaf?"

"Hmm. Interesting choice." Nobu sounded pleased. "That's my genre, did you know that? The melody was originally Latin music. But I won't give you a history lesson! Okay, one, two, three..."

As we ate breakfast of rice and pickled vegetables, I could tell Tetsu had something on his mind. He was staring forward as he ate, which was atypical. Honestly, I was still feeling uncomfortable from our conversation with Nobu. Had Tetsu meant to tell Nobu we were undecided about the future? It was true, the future was undecided. I didn't know where we were going. It made me so uncomfortable. Just this pervasive feeling. 

From the corner of my eye, I saw a pair of chopsticks. 

"Hmm?" I snapped out of my own thoughts. In front of my mouth were Tetsu's chopsticks with a bit of pickled daikon held in them. 

"Ah-n," he said. So cute. 

I opened my mouth, trying to keep myself from smiling so I could eat what he was offering. As I chewed, he was finally looking at me. His eye crinkles were back as he smiled. 

"Ne." He seemed so happy now, where a few seconds earlier he'd looked so serious. I was surprised. "Let's go to the salon today. I'll call Natsuko and ask where she'd recommend. You deserve something nice. You seem to be doing okay after what happened earlier. Let's go get your hair done. I'll get a small trim, too, just to clean things up. I won't cut my hair too much, though." He had a carrot piece in his chopsticks now, and he fed me this. It was delicious.

I hoped my expression didn't betray my feelings, but I think he knew anyway. It was no secret that I was depressed now. All of this. Part of me wanted to start tearing at my hair and scream that I couldn't deal with it all. I hadn't told Tetsu that, but I'd began to tell him last night. He only thought to comfort me, but I'd had more to say. I was glad he'd stopped me, because I'd been about to have a breakdown. Maybe he knew that. He was trying to comfort me now, I knew. And what he said last night, about loving me more than music... I'd totally forgotten what I'd been upset about. But now that it was the next morning... It was all back. 

"Okay. That sounds really nice." 

"Okay," he said, so excited. He took out his phone and began waking it up. 

"Oh, wait, finish your food, oh no." My hand was gently on his wrist. A sudden burning feeling was in my stomach, like emotional acid. Worry at this gesture. I shouldn't stop him from doing what he wanted. 

He put his phone on the table. "Okay, I'll finish my food first."

I wanted to cry now, looking at my hand still on his wrist. Why was I getting so emotional? Out of control. I felt a little dizzy, somehow. Almost felt like I was rocking from side to side, something from inside...

I felt my shoulder bump into Tetsu. He jumped. "Huh?!" He made a shocked sound. "Sana, are you okay? What happened?" His hands were on me now, my shoulders, getting me back in my sitting position. "Are you okay?" His eyes were searching my face. 

I was breathing too hard. I could feel that something inside taking me away. Dizzy. My stomach was pinching. My heart was pounding in my ears, a pain in my chest. I wanted to sleep, my eyes aching. No use fighting it. The next thing I knew, my eyes rolled up into my head and I pitched forward, hearing Tetsu cry out.

I woke up on the couch. 

"Oh- he's awake! Sana! Are you okay?!" Shizue's voice. She appeared in my vision, over my face far above, her long black and hot pink hair hanging down, framing her face. My eyebrow crinkled. Why was she here? Where was I? Was I in my apartment? No. The wavy, glittery ceiling told me I was in Tetsu's parents' house.

"Sana!" Masaki's voice. Shizue moved a little and Masaki appeared with her. Then like the Wizard of Oz, there was Nobu. You were there, and you were there, and you were there...just like the ending.

Was I dreaming? Was it like in that movie? Where it's all a dream and Dorothy clicks her red slippers? What were they all doing here?

"Sana!" Tetsu's voice. "Move, move, move! Let him breathe!"

"Yes, don't crowd like that. Come back over here. Sit down. I'll check him over. Tetsu, give me his purse. That's right." Tetsu's mom, so calm.

It had to be a dream. 

My band members left my vision, and Tetsu's mom came into view a few seconds later. I moved my head to the side and was met with quite a sight. My eyes opened wide. My band members were settling around the kotatsu, and Tetsu was coming over. Surreal. I could only think of one thing to say.

"What is Lyra doing here?" 

I saw Nobu's mouth open, but Tetsu waved his hand at him and he closed it. "Too much pressure," he explained, and Nobu nodded. Tetsu sat down on the floor and took my hand. 

"I need that hand for a second," his mom said. I saw she had my pricking pen. I felt a brief pain in my finger, and a beeping some seconds later. "One hundred and forty-two. Not terrible, but not great. That white rice probably wasn't a good idea. Just egg and vegetables next time, alright? I don't think that's the cause of this, though. I think what you said may be right. Still not a good cause. Any cause is not a good cause. But it wasn't a bad incident this time. I think the decision to not take him to the hospital this time was a good one. He'll be fine here. He just needs rest."

"Thank you, mom." 

"It's nothing. Why don't you explain why your friends are here? Gently. No more episodes."

"Okay." 

Tetsu's mom got up and sat in Tetsu's papa's usual chair. Her reddish-purple kimono almost blended in with the color. Tetsu squeezed my hand. "I called Lyra." His voice was almost desperate, emotional. I felt my lips drag down, getting emotional with him. "No, don't do that. It's okay." His finger knuckle touched my cheek, as if wiping away a tear. "It's okay."

"I knew something was up during our phone call. You started having a health problem during our phone call, right? That's what it was?" Nobu was staring at me now, a disturbed look on his face. "I called Shizue and told her what happened. She was concerned. She wanted to see you."

Shizue was nodding. "When I heard you had a health problem when you were on the phone with Nobu this morning, I panicked."

"Nobu called me, too. Then Tetsu called Nobu while we were still on the phone. He asked if we'd come down here, and I agreed. We all called off work-" 

I interrupted Masaki. "No, no, no, don't do that. You shouldn't have done that! I'm ruining it again! What if you get fired-" My breath became a wheeze, my voice too loud.

"Oh, oh, oh, Sana, relax," Tetsu gasped, his hand going to my chest. 

"But- but-"

I heard shuffling and footsteps. "Calm down, calm down," Tetsu's mom said. My band members' faces were over mine again, joining Tetsu's. 

"I've seen you do this before, Sana," Nobu said, softly, almost a scold. "Remember? Back in about 2010? When you had your heart problem? Don't do it again. You got so overwhelmed that you worried yourself into a problem. We didn't do anything until it was too late back then, because of Yami, remember? But he's not here now, so we're going to do something. This is an intervention. Calm down. Stop thinking about the bad stuff. We're going to help you take care of it. You're not alone. I know you. I know you're worried. I heard it over the phone. You're okay."

Tetsu was rubbing my chest, and it felt good. His hand went to my hair, and he was stroking it in long, slow strokes. My eyes went half lidded. 

"You're going to relax, and then we're going to talk. There's nothing to worry about. We just want to know what's going on. It's all okay, really. There's nothing to get upset about," Nobu went on. 

"You've been upset for a few days. I'm so sorry." Tetsu was looking down at me, his hand felt good in my hair. Was I falling asleep? My eyes closed. "Do you want to sleep? Sleeping is okay," he said, soothingly. 

"But everyone's here." Shame. 

"It's okay. We'll be here. I have all day. The last train doesn't leave until late in the night." Shizue's voice. "Rest. It's alright."

In the late afternoon, Tetsu's mom had gone out to get ingredients for dinner. She'd insisted that my band members stay for dinner, and I'd learned just how close they'd all gotten. It was a shock to me, how well they seemed to know each other. We were all sitting at the kotatsu now, waiting for her to come back. I was sitting between Tetsu's legs, his arms around me, as I leaned on him. He was so solid, strong, warm. I was enjoying his familiar arms, the weight of them. I was feeling a little weak, and Nobu theorized it was because of the attacks I'd suffered. Panic attacks. 

"Okay, so Tetsu, tell us what's going on. What are your thoughts?" Masaki asked. 

My eyes closed, and I felt myself drift for a second.

"Are you okay?" Shizue asked. My eyes snapped open. 

"Hmm?" Tetsu looked down at me, and I looked up at him. 

"I closed my eyes. I'm okay, though." 

"Oh." He sounded like he thought I was so cute. He began rubbing my belly, and my eyes closed again, and I leaned more on him, smiling. He made a content noise, almost a laugh. Still rubbing my belly, he cleared his throat. "As I told you before, I got let go from my company in December. I'm sorry I kept it a secret for so long, but I didn't know how to process it or tell anyone. I don't even know if my band members know-"

"They know. Hikaru said so." Shizue immediately looked shocked at herself, and she made a small coughing sound, looking to the side. 

Everyone's eyes went wide around the table. 

"Naa-nii?!" Tetsu let out, a scandalized questioning word.

"Uh, go on," Shizue said, embarrassed.

"'Hikaru said so'?" Tetsu asked. I looked up at his face. He looked as scandalized as he'd sounded. His eyebrows were creased, a pained expression on his face.

"You've been talking to Hikaru? Why?" Nobu looked confused.

Shizue let out a sound that sounded like a sneeze. "I shouldn't have said anything." She was looking to the side again.

"What did Hikaru say? I have to call him! I didn't know they knew! This whole time- Ah, what did he say?!" Tetsu held me tighter, maybe in need of me. I tightened my arms around his.

"Uh, he said they found out in December just before Christmas. He said they were 'restructuring' Mermaid Orchestra and that's the last he heard of it. He was really upset, but he said there were more important things to worry about. He said that you, his senpai, were going through so much right now, that he didn't want to bring it up and start something. They all know what the company did. When you were describing it, I just thought, 'Hikaru was absolutely right, that company is so dirty'."

"But, they didn't say anything to me. This whole time, I've been so worried. I didn't know how to tell them. But they knew the whole time. I know everyone has their own projects as well, and that we're more of an assembly of musicians, not a band, so I thought... I don't know what I thought. I saw Jun, our cellist, was participating in a classical quartet and I was happy for him. I saw Hina, our trumpeter, was sessioning for a jazz trio. I didn't know what to think."

"I met Hina. She said what the company did to you is wrong, and she's behind you 100%. Did you talk to her?" Shizue asked, sympathetically. 

"No, I haven't talked to her. I haven't talked to anyone except Hikaru. I thought everyone was busy, doing other projects. I thought it was strange. Actually, I was deeply unsettled by it. I didn't know what to think. I really thought no one knew."

"Yeah, Hikaru said they don't know what the future of Mermaid Orchestra is. But, he said he wants to follow you in whatever project you do next. You're his senpai. He said he's loyal to you. He's like a dog, really, he-" Shizue's eyes went wide as she stopped herself. She stopped talking suddenly.

"Shizue," Masaki said, a mocking tone. His chin was in his hand as he leaned on the table, staring her. He looked like he could start laughing. "Why do you know so much about Hikaru?"

"We're dating!" She burst out. Her eyes went even wider. "Shit," she said under her breath.

I started laughing. Same old Shizue. Never able to keep a secret. My hand went over my mouth, I was laughing too much. Everyone else started laughing, too. Tetsu's made my heart warm. 

"Don't be embarrassed about it," Nobu said, erupting into new laughter. "Really- you- he's twenty-one!"

"Twenty-two!" Shizue was blushing so red.

"I'm happy for you two." Tetsu squeezed me and I was smiling so much. "There needs to be more love in the world. Who cares about your age? You like each other. That's all that matters."

Shizue gestured to Tetsu. "Thank you! At least Tetsu gets it! Hikaru will be happy that you approve."

Tetsu chuckled. "It's not like I'm his father. He doesn't need my approval."

"I wouldn't be too sure. He really looks up to you. He'll be happy, regardless."

Tetsu's head bowed. "That makes me so happy. He told me he liked you in January. When did you two get together?"

"He did?!" Shizue's eyes lit up. "That's so sweet! We got together on Valentine's Day. He asked me to be his Valentine. I was so shocked! I thought he was cute, and we'd been talking on the phone since we met. He was so charming. It never occurred to me to say no. He's really the nicest guy."

"Aww, that's so sweet. He is the nicest guy. He's always been so kind to me. He's hard to resist."

"He really is."

"Sorry, but uh, may I ask something serious?" Masaki was staring at me. I shrank a little in Tetsu's arms. 

"Rude," Shizue tsked, clicking her tongue, but it was easy to tell she wasn't that offended. "We'll talk more about this later." Tetsu nodded, smiling.

"Okay. So. Nobu told me that you said you were unsure if you're returning to Tokyo. Is that true? What's happening?"

"Um..." My mind went blank.

"It's something we're talking about. Sana is feeling better, but now that his work terminated him, and my company let me go, we don't know what we want to do." Tetsu held on to me securely as I felt myself drift at his answer.

"Sana, are you okay?" Shizue had leaned closer to the table, observing me.

"Huh?" The liquid in my brain was starting to swirl.

"Wait, wait, wait. Everyone breathe." Nobu had his hands up. 

"I don't feel good." 

"It's okay." Tetsu squeezed me a little. He looked up at them. "Maybe this is too much. I don't know." 

"We need to figure this out. It's not going to be like last time. By being here and talking it out, maybe we can lessen overall stress." Nobu sounded logical.

"We'll take it slow. No rush. I shouldn't have been so forward, but I feel like we need to talk about this. This is the future of Lyra, too. I know we've been on hiatus. When you told Nobu you weren't sure if you both were staying here, it made me wonder about Lyra."

Sudden nausea. 

Masaki went on. "What's going to happen with Lyra if you stay here?"

I began to struggle in Tetsu's arms. It didn't matter what they were saying anymore. I needed a bathroom. 

"What- Sana, what-"

I shook my head quickly. Bad idea. Before I could stop it, I dry heaved, my hand over my mouth. I leaned over the table. Tetsu's hand was rubbing my back just as suddenly, his other arm still supporting my stomach. 

"I told you to stop talking!" Nobu scolded. "I said we needed to take a breather! Will you let up?! Sana, are you okay?!"

I leaned over the table, my arms surrounding my head. The table was warm. It felt nice. "I'm sorry. I'm being dramatic." I sighed.

"You're fine," Masaki said. "Sorry."

"You're not being dramatic. You're panicking. That's why we're here." Nobu sighed, too. "I want to help you figure all of this out. I don't want anything scary to happen. You're weaker now. That's the reality. If something were to happen... So, we'll take it slow. No rush."

If I was honest, my brain was feeling fuzzy. I wasn't sure I was taking all of this in. It didn't feel real at all. 

"I'm not sure I'm in the right state of mind for this," I admitted. "I don't feel well."

"Do you want to take a nap?" Tetsu's voice was so soothing to me right now. 

"I just don't get why everyone is here. I'm confused."

"It's okay." Tetsu was rubbing my back again. "Let me take you to the couch for a nap. You're okay."

"Okay." 

Tetsu kissed the top of my head, and I closed my eyes.