24th November, 2024

Sunday

Dear Hongjoong,

An aspiring scientist and a budding barista.

What could ever go wrong?

I still remember the sparkle in your eyes, your face bubbling with excitement as you flung your shoes away at the threshold, completely forgetting to lock the door and ran indoors to find me in the kitchen and immediately pull me into a tight embrace, your laugh reverberating all across the space. Your happiness knew no bounds, as you dragged me by my hand to the nearest chair, sat me down and narrated out everything that had transpired previously, all at one stretch.

You had finally earned your place, the job that you had always been dreaming of, specifically in the location which had captivated you ever since your high school days. You had done it Joongie, with all your strenuous efforts of restless days and sleepless nights and finally, you sat there in front of me, gleaming in glee at your extraordinary achievement.

I was proud. So proud of you.

And soon we shifted from a tiny space to a bigger one, quite on the lavish side. You were so happy with your work and so was I. Each day was filled with a new thrill, an adventure of something different. And we were so ready to face it together, hand in hand.

From indulging in honeyed kisses under the morning shine still in bed to preparing a breakfast together, from making calls during breaks at works to waiting for each other's returns in the evening, from having long hours of chats about our days to cracking jokes at the dining table. Every moment felt like being a resident in paradise. And when the weekends came by, you never let them pass. Trips and tours were mandatory, along with so many other events that you would miraculously put up, as if you had planned them all throughout the week.

What could ever go wrong?

And then came the day, two years later, when I saw you kneel before me, a ring put forward with a sweet proposal, my eyes moistened with tears as I extended my hand with a shaky 'yes', feeling the loop slip into my finger and instantly getting engulfed in a loving embrace. The big day wasn't far away either, when the wedding bells chimed in unison as you kissed me under the aureate glow amidst the tumultuous applaud of everyone around, a thousand petals gracing our wedlock hours, bonded by promises of an eternity, two souls mingling to be one.

We were married.

And what could ever go wrong, even after all of this?

I still remember the day when you returned home with a big project in hand, something that you had planned to embark all alone. A journey where you would be a singularity. I was immensely excited about it, ready to be by your side at your call. The research, if successful, would bring forth a revolutionary, I had heard you explain to me, as I sat beside you upon the couch, every word of yours exhibiting exhilaration and determination. You couldn't wait to begin.

And then it began.

Your undivided indulgence in the task and...a growing crack in our relationship.

We distanced further, our bond breaking away without a check. We hardly spoke, those long hours of talks and tours becoming non existent. You hardly spared any time for me, now completely driven crazy with your upcoming invention, devoted to your laboratory throughout the hours. You never came to bed, seeing you peacefully asleep or waking up with a loud yawn beside me became a phenomena resembling a blue moon upon the sky. Everything seemed to slip away and all I could do was sit back and watch, without a word.

Whenever we spoke about this, arguments followed, complete with verbal fights and no communication for the next few days. It was suddenly becoming too much for me, to bear it all alone, drowned in the pain of hushed tears and a disarrayed mind. This had no pause to it. The arguments lengthened, the communications drifted away and all that was left was a void of emptiness.

And suddenly, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I watched you stare back at the table, a face void of any emotion, as I took the ring off my finger and placed it upon the table, my eyes betraying my vision with the moisture soon to invade. You spoke no more and neither did I, a mutual ending brought upon by a hasty discussion. The evening felt twice gloomy as I picked up my bags and walked out of the door, a coverage through which I never walked again.

I wanted to feel free, but I couldn't.

It weighed heavier upon me than it should have.

Yet, there we stood at a conclusion brought forth by both.

For the plausible betterment of both.

What could ever go wrong?

--------------------------------

Thoughts?

I hope all of it is making sense-

(Once again, so sorry if it's shitty-)