WARNING*- Mature content, including vulgar language, talks/ attempts of suicide, and trigger themes.

~•~•~•~

The water was crystal blue and it reminded Finn of the sky and every blue sweater Lydia had ever worn.  It reminded him of the blue cotton candy at the carnival so many nights ago.

Finn felt woozy all of sudden and maybe it was from the water that surrounded his body with cool warmth or maybe it was the fact that Lydia's turquoise eyes stared back at his.  Her hair soaked in water with a smile so genuine, Finn had never seen anything more real.

The water was shimmering with the light of the sun reflected off creating rainbows of colors and crystals of light.

"See, I told you this would be fun." Lydia's cheeks darkened into a deep red color and Finn wondered when the last time Lydia blushed was.

Finn realized Lydia was blushing; she was blushing because Finn was staring at her.  Finn was in fact staring at her. 

His eyes widened in horror before quickly averting them to the first place he saw.

But Lydia blushed because Finn was staring at her.

And Finn didn't realize what that meant.

"You didn't tell me I would get wet though," Finn mumbled hearing Lydia's laugh follow.

"Oh come on Finn, when you were younger don't tell me you didn't ever pretend to be a mermaid when you went swimming." Lydia's lips flattened as did Finn's before he then proceeded to burst into laughter.

"Oh my god Lydia, do you honestly think I'm a girl?" Finn asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"What!? Men can be mermaids too.  That's why they're called mermen." Lydia smirked obviously proud of her intelligence.

"Yes Lydia, when I was six years old and went to the pool I pretended I was a mermaid living under the sea waiting to find my one true prince." Finn spoke with sarcasm laced in his voice.

"You're no fun Finn," Lydia tried to frown but only ended up smiling more than she was five minutes ago.

"You have a beautiful smile," Finn said without a thinking making Lydia's lips drop before turning to him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I-"

"Thank you." Lydia said after a long pause as a genuine smile spread across her face.

"Finn, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Lydia suddenly asked making Finn pause before his eyes widened.

"I'm not sure," he answered honestly.  Because Finn didn't have time to think about his future.  His grades were already dead and he was too worried about when the next time his father would come home to think about the future and what he would do at the end of the year. And to be brutally honest, Finn didn't think he would make it passed high school.

"You're not going to college are you?" Lydia asked knowing Finn had already missed the deadline.

"Yeah I don't think college is what I'm meant to be doing." Finn smiled weakly wishing he could have a normal life.

"Well college isn't for everyone, it's totally fine." Lydia smiled making Finn feel slightly better about the fact that he would go about his life with merely a high school degree.

"Plus, my dad doesn't have a college degree and my mother does and he still makes more. But don't tell my mom I said that." Lydia giggled making Finn laugh with her.  Because there was something about Lydia's laugh that was contagious.

"Can I get out of the water now?" Finn changed the subject realizing he didn't really like being in the lake where fish swam around his legs in filthy water.

"What? I thought we were having fun.  You were laughing." Lydia pointed out causing Finn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, maybe, but I'd rather have fun outside the water where I can be dry and away from a lake where I don't know what's swimming around me." Finn countered making Lydia cross her arms with a sigh.

"Fine, but you owe me."

"I don't owe you anything." Finn exasperated walking towards the grass.

"You owe me five bucks," Lydia replied trying her best to get anything out of Finn's wallet.

"No I don't," Finn sang as he climbed out of the water towards the blanket leaving Lydia with a small frown in the middle of the lake.

It was cold when Finn climbed out of the water.  And suddenly goosebumps started to rise on Finn's arms.  And although Finn knew it was just because he was cold from being in the lake he couldn't help but connect the same feeling with the sensation he felt when his father walked through the front door after a long day at the bar. 

So it didn't surprise Finn when he jumped a little as Lydia's voice startled him.

"Fine," Lydia sighed before climbing out of the water herself and plopping down on the blanket beside Finn.  "You know, there is still a couple things left in there that you can eat if you're still hungry." Lydia spoke pointing to the basket she brought along with her.

"What's in there?" Finn asked grabbing the basket and opening it.

"Just another sandwich and a cookie, but you can have the cookie." Lydia replied before Finn picked up the wrapped cookie from the surface of the bag and slowly turned and handed it to Lydia.

"I told you, you can have it." Lydia held the cookie out in front of Finn.

"Yeah, but I can tell that you're the one that actually wants it." Finn smirked pushing Lydia's hand towards herself.

"Are you sure?" Lydia asked sheepishly not wanting to be rude.

"Eat the cookie Lydia." Finn said before turning to close the basket.

But right as Finn turned back to Lydia a feeling of warmth spread from the cells that bursted in his cheek all the way through his veins and to the tips of his fingers.  Lydia's soft lips pulled away from Finn's cheek as Finn turned to Lydia in shock, red slowly started to tint his cheeks.

"Thank you, Finn." Lydia said with a small smile spread across her face.

~•~•~•~

The house was quiet when Finn walked through the old wooden door that still creaked a little when it slid open. He didn't expect it to be buzzing with noise, but that had died a long time ago. However, Finn was thankful that his father wasn't home when he brought Lydia in.

Finn didn't enjoy bringing Lydia to his home, the fear of his father hurting her too real in the back of his mind. It had been a while since he'd seen his father which only meant one thing. He would be home soon.

Finn's father never stayed out forever. He could be gone for days, week, months, but he would always come back to the same fate. A bottle of liquor and his broken son.

"Thank you Finn," Lydia snapped Finn out of his thoughts as the silence spread slowly around them.

"For what?" Finn closed the door, looking down at Lydia's petite figure.

"For today. I had a lot fun, so thank you." Lydia gave him a small smile, but still genuine before she leaned against the wall.

Finn could tell she was tired by the way her eyes drooped slightly and the small yawn that escaped her throat as she slid down the wall and landed on the wooden floor beneath her.

"Well you don't have to thank me, I mean you're the one that showed me the lake." Finn grinned, joining Lydia on the ground next to the door.

"I know, I just mean your presence alone makes me happy. So, thank you for making me happy." Finn smiled at her words.

"I just wish I could do the same for you," Lydia's smile wavered as she turned to stare up at Finn.

Her eyes twinkled in wonder trying so desperately to see the happiness suppressed so deeply in Finn's eyes.

Finn didn't know for sure if it was there anymore or if it was ever there at all. All Finn knew is that Lydia made him happy. The way she smiled when she got a math question right in class without looking at her notes. The way she laughed at those little jokes on the back of the milk carton during school lunch even though they were the cheesiest jokes ever. The way her nose scrunched up in confusion when she saw a word she didn't understand in the new book she was reading. Even the way she bit her lip when she got nervous.

Everything about her made Finn happy.

Finn dreamed of having a future with her. He would be anything she wanted him to be. If she wanted a loving husband to her four children in a house miles from the city, he would. If she wanted a boyfriend in the city that occasionally gave her free rides to her office downtown, he would be there with a car in seconds.

All Finn ever wanted was a life where he was happy and he couldn't even fathom it without Lydia.

Finn turned to Lydia with a slight grin on his face. Her hair was darker in the dim lighting they sat in. The small golden highlight not showing due to the sun no longer being in the sky. Her eyelashes fluttered a little as she blinked, slowly turning to look Finn in the eye.

Her turquoise eyes swirled with emotions, Finn knew he would've fallen on his knees right in front of her had he been standing. He had fallen for her. He was so in love with her that he didn't think he could even deny it anymore.

Because if she were the sun then he was the moon. If she were Juliet then he would get down on his knees and be the best Romeo she had ever seen.

Because as the small smile pulled it way on her lips, showing her perfectly sculpted teeth, Finn knew that's all he needed in life. If he could make her smile at least once. A smile so genuine and so real that it brought tears to her eyes, only then would his life be complete.

And that's when Finn realized, he had to tell her. Lydia was a beautiful girl and if he didn't tell her now then Finn knew he'd probably never get the chance again.

He was utterly sick of bottling his feelings in and he didn't care if she didn't feel the same. He had to tell her.

Because no matter if she loved him or not, Finn loved her. He loved her with every fiber in his bones. Every part of his heart yearned for her.

She deserved to know.

"Lydia I have to tell you something." Finn turned to her pulling away slightly making Lydia look up, confusion laced her irises.

"Wha-"

Lydia was cut off by the jiggle of the doorknob. The loud clatter of the key banged against the metal of the knob and it rang through Finn's ears like a siren.

Finn didn't think he was going to come home until later. It was only 9:00 and usually Finn's father wouldn't have even been buzzed at this time.

Why the hell was he back?

Finn's first thought was Lydia as he turned to her with horror in his eyes. "Go through the back."

"Wait what?" Lydia jerked in confusion and alarm as she look at Finn with pure and utter worry in her eyes.

"He's here and I don't need you to get hurt so go through the back before he gets in now." Finn demanded wanting so desperately for Lydia to just listen to him and keep herself safe.

"I'm not leaving you. Never again." Lydia exasperated grabbing onto Finn's arm tightly.

"You don't understand you have to-" The stench of liquor and hard beer suddenly covered the air and seemed to suffocate Finn's throat with the taste and burn of alcohol.

"Well, what do we have here?"

And Finn knew it was too late for Lydia to make it out safely.