⊱C'est cela l'amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour⊰

That is love, to give away everything, to sacrifice everything, without the slightest hope of anything in return

┏━━━━━━༻♔༺━━━━━━┓

Hours and minutes passed the slowest I had been through. Each moment I spent thinking and thinking and recalling the times I spent with the one person I had come to care about since I took my last breath.

Like the helpless coward I was, I left the dorms to avoid him and found a hotel to pass my last days as a human. Classes were long forgotten and the only thing I brought with myself was my painting of him.

Time after time, I asked myself where I had gone wrong. But then I realized... this wasn't wrong.

For a very long time... for too long, I had become fed up with the way I was living. Perhaps this was my chance to rest and leave this world forever.

Leaving would have been quite appealing after serving hell for centuries if I weighed the end results...

But that would have been my thought if I never met Jungkook.

As I sat here inside this cozy old cafe, listening to other people's days and watching couples pass by through the steamy window, I wanted to stay a little longer. I wanted him sitting in front of me, complaining about the bitter taste of the coffee and talking about the lessons we had earlier. I wanted to pass time teasing him and laughing at his silly jokes.

Even for the shortest while, I wanted to leave everything behind and experience what it's like to live with him beside me. There were so many things we hadn't done, so many places we hadn't visited and so many words I hadn't spoken to him.

So many days to live through... but I could never have the chance.

It was either him or me from the start.
Never the both of us.

My thoughts came to a halt when I saw a familiar hazel haired woman walk past the cafe, and I sprung to my feet before running after her. Ever since the party, a certain thought kept haunting me. My mind was never at rest.

"Chastity!"

The woman whirled around and smiled after seeing me like she usually did. "Lust. You're calling for me?"

"I have a question," I said, panting from running so fast. "If I kiss him or say, sleep with him, will I win the bet? I'm a Sin after all, it'll work, right?"

She sighed, tilting her lips. "He has to be in a relationship with a different person for the sinning to work according to the agreement. Did you forget?"

I didn't. But I was afraid that it could work and that night at the party always clawed at my mind.

"But he'll suffer when I make a move on him anyways, no?"

Chastity crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips. "No, you're still a human right now until the agreement ends. If you're looking for a way to win the bet, this isn't it. He isn't committed to another person and you're just a human. And I don't think you sleeping with him will affect anything since..." Her eyes dulled as if she was sad. "He has feelings for you... so it won't be an act of lust... but act of love on his side."

I widened my eyes. "You know?"

"Of course," she whispered before turning away to leave. "It's all up to what you decide in the end. I have somewhere I need to be, so..."

My phone vibrated in my jeans pocket and I took it out to see Jungkook calling me. I didn't have the heart to decline but I didn't have the guts to accept so I stared at the nickname I gave him and waited for him to end the call. Each time he called me was the same.

A text message followed and I read the different location he sent me this time to meet up. It happened too many times that I didn't think I could leave him waiting for me for hours again. Today was colder than before and he could catch a cold if he kept this up.

•───────────⋅⚜️⋅───────────•

"Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

Envy watched Jungkook sitting alone a few feet away from the bushes and narrowed his eyes while glancing at me. I begged him once again to just do it like we rehearsed and send him back to the dorms.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, he changed his appearance in the blink of an eye and it looked like I was standing before a mirror.

"You owe me big time."

I showed him a thumbs up and pushed him to the boy, reminding him to do exactly what I said. He ambled towards Jungkook who snapped his head up at him and the rest of it, I couldn't hear.

After what seemed like a minute of conversation, Jungkook suddenly stood up and hugged Envy, earning a gasp from me and a loud squeak from the shapeshifter. Not only that, he leaned down to kiss his cheek, and that's when Envy broke out of his arms and ran back to me as fast as he could.

"What the fuck, Eunsook?!" He changed back to his own appearance and shook me by my shoulders.

"What happened there? Why was he trying to kiss you?"

"I don't know! He said that he missed me- I mean, you. And then he asked if you missed him too and I just said yes like you told me but he suddenly hugged me and I didn't know what to do!"

I patted his back, trying to calm him down and stop him from peeling the skin off his cheek. Telling him to stay there, I walked to Jungkook, knowing that I couldn't escape now.

"I'm sorry for doing that," he whispered, facing the ground.

"It's fine."

"You're not even coming to school."

I nodded. "I don't need school. I don't need a diploma. I don't need a job or anything related to these... I don't want to see you, either."

He flinched and I bit my tongue.

"Because you don't feel the same way? Because my feelings are a burden to you?" Before I could deny, he lifted his head up to lock our eyes and my breath got knocked out of my lungs. "If they are, I'll throw them away. I want to go back to how we were... please... Forget what I said that night."

I shook my head. "It's not that. It's because we can't be together, Jungkook... I'm not a human..."

His eyebrows crashed together. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said," I stated coldly and started walking away. "We don't belong together. And I would appreciate it if you never contacted me again because I won't be there when you do."

"Wait! Eunsook!"

He seized my hand but I swiftly turned around with teary eyes and looked into his pained ones. "Retournez dans votre dortoir." (Trans: Go back to your dorm).

His eyes glowed purple and I watched him take unfaltering steps away from me like a mindless puppet. With each step, a cut etched into my aching heart.

"Why are you doing this?" Envy's deep voice was more grave than I ever heard. "Lust, what is happening? Why is your hair halfway black? Are you letting your human qualities get a hold of you?"

I shut my eyes.

"Lust."

I covered my face with my hands.

"Eunsook..."

My chest was squeezing in pain.

"Eunsook, please answer me."

Envy's hold on my shoulder was so gentle as if he was afraid that I would break.

"I love him, Tae," I cried out, tearing my heart out. "I went ahead and fell in love with him like an idiot..."

I couldn't deny it anymore.

I had already laid out my heart to him when I shouldn't have.

A beat of silence passed as my words lingered in the cold air.

"Then... your agreement with Chastity is..."

His voice trembled and I knew he feared for my soul. But I had to admit.

"I lose..."

┗━━━━━━༻♔༺━━━━━━┛

Are you feeling emotional yet lol

The good stuff will come soon so wait for it ;-;