⊱Les battements de mon cœur⊰

Beats of my heart

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"Actually, who the fuck are you? And why do you keep making people do weird stuff?" I glared at the white haired male who just chuckled, not minding my anger. "I say either you get out of this game or I'll leave."

The others except Jungkook sighed, calling me wet blanket while the guy named Jackson or Jason hummed, stroking his chin.

"It's just a game, darling, but sure," he said, smiling at me and my fingers itched to strangle him. "If you do this dare, you're free to leave this game."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed, "Whatever," and took a glance at Jungkook. The dare was useful to me but I doubted that he would allow me to do that. Even if he did, our relationship could go downhill like how it did with the advances I made before.

Having eyes on me was invasive.

"Okay, but can I do it in private?"

"No problem," the guy chirped before the others could object. "Let's go upstairs and get to it right away."

I scrunched my nose. "It's not you, idiot."

Unaffected, he simply shrugged nonchalantly. "Okay then. Do it upstairs and no cheating!"

I timidly turned to my left and wondered if Jungkook would be fine with a scintilla of hope as foolish as it might be. I feared that our relationship could shatter if he didn't and I would have to choose someone else, but that could even have worse result.

Jungkook's eyes darted between mine and the question was at the tip of my tongue, not leaving the security of my mouth. The haughty bass and buoyant laughters of the students faded into a distant sound.

"Me?"

Jungkook's word suddenly snapped me out and I quickly nodded before regretting the action.

"Only if you're fine with it... There's no one else for me..."

His dark orbs lingered on me for a moment longer and my heart shrank to half its size. I damned Bambam who made us play the game, I damned the guy who dared me to do this, and I damned myself for being so complicated and betraying my nature.

I didn't know who I had become.

My breath hitched when Jungkook grabbed my hand and pulled me up to make me follow him up the stairs to the second floor. His touch sent electricity up my spine and I jolted into action. My mind was highly alert and I became aware of what was about to happen.

"It's a dare," I had to remind myself to calm down. "You've done things like this before. This is nothing different."

Even louder than my thoughts, my heart thumping in my ears reminded me that this time was different.

I was susceptible to him.

My nerves were springing all over the place when absolutely nothing happened yet. My face was catching fire and I hoped that I would catch fire and leave this place.

I gulped as we entered an empty room and Jungkook turned around with his gaze glued to the floor before closing the door behind me. We stood against each other, chest to chest but not face to face.

"Are you okay?"

Flinching, I looked up at him and breathed out a chuckle. "Of course. You know me."

Jungkook finally brought his eyes up to look into mine. "You seem hesitant. I can lie to them if you want. It's just a game."

Taking a deep breath, I held his hand and led him to sit down on the bed. He silently complied and never tore his eyes off me.

"Let's just get it over with." I placed out my palm and he put his bigger hand on top of mine.

Inhaling deeply, I brought it up and placed a kiss on his wrist, earning giggles from him.

"What?"

Grinning like a child, he shook his head. "First time seeing someone kiss a wrist. Feels weird. But don't let me stop you."

My lips broke into a small smile, but I shrugged it off and trailed quick pecks up his exposed arm, leaving his tee sleeves. The thick muscles under my lips were so firm and hardened but the skin was so smooth, I enjoyed the feeling even if it felt strange kissing such body parts for the first time.

When I reached his shoulders, his breath hitched in my ear and his hands grasped my waist, making my heart jump. As I left less gentle kisses along his collarbone, his breaths came out shorter and harder as if he was having trouble breathing. I was no different.

To reach his neck, I sat up on my knees and held his shoulders. His grip on my waist tightened when I did so, and his fingers dug into my skin as soon as I pressed my lips on his adam's apple. My chest was flush with his, my stomach twisted into a knot and my heart threatened to leap out of my chest.

His eyes were fluttered closed and his mouth was slightly agape, breathing harshly. I couldn't think about anything else and could only continue, relishing the softness of his skin as he bent his head backwards, allowing me to go further.

That mind numbing scent of him made my control slip away and my kisses turned sloppy over his neck. I wanted to bite and suck his velvety skin but I froze before I could and realized that I was losing myself.

I nearly went further when I didn't know if he was fine with that.

"Did you not want to kiss me back there?"

Startled, I shook my head and whispered into the crook of his neck, confessing the truth at the heat of the moment. "I thought you didn't want that... I couldn't do it knowing you were uncomfortable. Never."

Dread settled in but before I tore myself off him, Jungkook's hand came up to hold my jaw and he leaned forward to connect our lips.

My eyes snapped wide open and I froze.

When he pulled away, I started panicking and was afraid that he would push me off like before. But when our eyes locked, the warmth of his gaze and the yearning swirling in them dissipated the thoughts and melted my mind.

"But you wanted to?" His breath tickled my skin, and his eyes intruded into my heart.

Smiling sadly, I hung my head lower. "You know I would. Why wouldn't I want to?"

I hated the prickling feeling in my chest. I wanted to shut down all the emotions I was feeling because they controlled me so terrifyingly.

Still, the bursts of rapture when he pressed his lips on mine again and moved them slowly but tenderly were something I would never shut down. It all felt too good to be true and a nagging voice at the back of my mind held me back from delving deeper, making me stop altogether.

The reality was that...

I was bad for him.

"You can continue the game, Kookie," I said, forcing a smile at him who stared at me with uncertainty. "I'm leaving to the dorm."

"Then I'm leaving, too."

I just let him do so since I didn't want him surrounded by drunk hooligans all night. "Go get your jacket then. I'll wait here."

Licking his lips and nodding slowly, he reluctantly walked out the room and I rubbed my face with my hands before screaming into them. My heart was in frenzy and my mind in turmoil. I couldn't believe that he was the one who initiated the kiss. He wasn't drunk and not even tipsy. He truly kissed me himself and I was afraid that he might had caught feelings.

"There she is."

A voice at the door snapped me out and I immediately frowned when I saw the person. That Jackson guy was sauntering into the room with a proud smirk.

"Lust," he called and my expression fell. "So what happened? Did loverboy fall into your seduction?"

Realization dawned on me and I heaved a sigh. "Envy?"

He winked and the want to strangle him just reached a new peak.

"Freaking heck! You absolute shape-shifting snake," I ranted, earning chortles from the Sin. "You made me go through so much shit, you know that?"

"But I helped! You must have done something in here...?"

I looked down at my hands and fiddled with them. "Of course..."

But things only turned more difficult for me...

I couldn't understand the beats of my own heart now.

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She finally succeeded but at what cost?

What will happen now?