⊱Le moi que je ne comprends pas⊰

The me I can't understand

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It still baffled me how Jungkook had such contradicting appearance.

The sharp edges of his jawline were way too defined. The thick upward brows covered by his silky bangs were intimidating to say the least when exposed. Still, the endearing doe eyes that seemed to shine brighter than the stars in the sky, the puffed cheeks whenever he pouted, the somehow adorable nose, and the charming combination of his thin cupid bow and full lower lip that had my eyes glued to them were just foul play in this game of attraction.

And the tiny mole below his lips was like cherry on top. A cherry bomb.

With every stroke of my pencil, I was embracing the aesthetics of the striking yet incredibly soft features the human before me displayed. Every now and then, I unknowingly lowered my pencil to stare at him stupidly before snapping out of it whenever he held my gaze.

"What's wrong? Do I need to change my pose?" He asked worriedly, getting up from his stool.

"No no," I quickly exclaimed, shaking my hand, "I was just... imagining the full painting and getting lost. It's fine."

What was even wrong with me? I couldn't deny that I was intrigued by my prey... But why was I enjoying his company like this?

Perhaps it was a brand new experience that I was hoping to prolong. Perhaps he was just a breath of fresh air, a break from all the men I had acquainted myself with.

"Okay, class is dismissed," Pride announced in a gleeful tone, and took a small glance at me before walking out of the classroom.

Just a few minutes after he left, a strawberry blonde drama queen walked in and ran straight into Jungkook's arms with a weird and quite disgusting grunt, pretending to act cute.

I hurriedly gathered my stuff to leave already when the couple started swaying side to side while hugging because they apparently forgot there were other people with them, too. And one of them wanted to bleach her eyeballs. Fast.

"Kookie, let's go on a date, hm?"

I nearly gagged at Jia's 'sweet' tone. It sounded like she was constipated in all honesty.

Jungkook sighed with an apologetic look and loosened his hold on his girlfriend. "Sorry, I'm busy."

I snickered internally when Jia's face fell before she gawked at him. "I didn't know you were busy, baby. What are you doing that's more important than me?"

Some of the other students kept glancing at the two, probably wondering if the popular couple of the university was fighting or not. I was watching them wondering why the pink haired toothpick was so full of herself, forcing the notion that there wasn't anything more important to him than her.

Where are you, Pride?

"That, I can't tell you, Jia," Jungkook muttered with a sigh, earning an outraged huff from the girl.

"Are you hiding something from me or-"

"Yes, I'm here," a deep and loud voice shouted from the doorway. Pride strode inside in all his glory with curious, wide eyes fixed on me. "What's the situation?"

I threw a look at the couple and he followed my eyes to the two humans who were staring back at him in confusion.

"I see a sinner," he told me through our connection. "But it's not my place to interfere with them."

I rolled my eyes. "Then why are you even here?"

Jungkook lifted his wrist to check the time and immediately threw his bag over his shoulder. "I'll call you?" He said unsure and turned to bow at Pride before running out of the room, leaving Jia dumbfounded.

"I don't know what happened, but I bet she deserved it," Pride snickered.

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"There's definitely something wrong with me..."

When I snapped out of my thoughts, I realized that I was standing outside the two-story building I once came to. My eyes were following the dark chocolate haired boy surrounded by dozens of beaming children who were clinging to him as he played with them. I couldn't remember just when I had arrived at the orphanage, but soon... I didn't mind.

There were still humans like him who still possessed the qualities the Virtues preached, but it seemed inconceivable. He seemed way too good for a man, especially since he's surrounded by all the lowlife I detested. He somehow managed to keep his morals and purity through and through... Very interesting and... admirable.

Shaking my head, I turned away from the rapturous view and hugged myself. No matter how interesting Jungkook was, it couldn't justify how I wasn't myself around him... I even mindlessly walked here to see him...

For what reason exactly?

Groaning at my own nonsensical acts, I scolded myself and rubbed my face.

"Were you stalking me?"

Squeaking in shock, I whirled around to face the smiling boy. Shivers ran down my spine at getting caught like that.

"No, I was just," I stammered, panicking, but I remembered that I had to act shameless. He made me forget that I was the Sin of Lust, the embodiment of raw sensual desire and forbidden want for Pride's sake!

"Yes. And I was just wondering how you like your eggs in the morning," I stated with confidence and lip bite, trying to sound seductive, but totally butchering it.

I snorted before laughing at my weird act while Jungkook pursed his lips, looking away with wide eyes. After a moment, he chuckled and shook his head with a scrunch of his nose.

"You're volunteering here, huh?"

"Sometimes..." He flashed me a small smile and it triggered a bigger one from me. "It's done for today. Wanna grab something to eat? I'm hungry."

I nodded and gestured for him to lead the way. He slipped off his black bomber jacket and wordlessly put it on my shoulders before walking. The warmth engulfed me, placating the shivers I didn't know were caused by the cold wind. I may had stood there for longer than I thought.

"Why didn't you tell Jia that you volunteer here?" I genuinely asked after wearing the jacket properly. There was no reason for him to hide it.

"Well," Jungkook sighed, tucking his hands in his jeans pockets, "it may sound strange, but I just didn't want her to know."

I frowned. It did sound strange.

What about me? Did he not want me to know, either?

"How long have you been dating?"

He hummed, trying to remember. "Two years."

"Why did you start dating her?" I muttered on a whim and it sounded too bitter to my liking. "Sorry, just wondering... since she seems... clingy? Self-centered?"

He breathed out a laugh. "She sometimes is. But Jia's a nice girl. She's friendly with everyone and helps others in need. We started dating after she asked me out in our freshman year. We met a few times and got partnered up for a show before that so we were acquainted."

I nodded and scolded myself for blurting that out. What was I doing? I wasn't supposed to poke into their relationship.

"Am I really seeing this?"

I stopped abruptly when a guy stood before me, blocking my way. He eyed me up and down with a huge smirk and scoffed in sheer amusement as I scowled at him in disgust and confusion.

"Excuse you? Get away from me."

"Babe," he piped and suddenly pulled me by my waist before sliding his hand down my lower back, feeling me up, making me hold my breath in shock. "I missed you so bad. When you left me after that one night stand, I just couldn't stop thinking about you, babe."

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. It was no doubt that he was someone I tainted before. I didn't see such a situation like this coming since I didn't need to exist on earth as a human.

It wouldn't have been a problem if Jungkook wasn't there with me witnessing this.

The guy licked his lips, making me frown deeper, and stared at my lips with a familiar glint in his eyes I had seen way too many times. "How about we do that again? I'll please you way better than the last time."

His hand suddenly squeezed the area and I gasped in disbelief. Gritting my teeth, I glared at the asshole who dared to harass me like that, but before I could use my hypnosis, he was thrown to the ground with a punch in the jaw.

Jungkook had punched him.

The gentle, kind boy who couldn't hurt a living thing had punched him.

"She said to get away from her," he growled at the man rubbing his bruised jaw. Growled. "Leave her alone and don't you dare come near her again or I'll call the cops."

"Let's go." Jungkook wrapped an arm around my shoulders and quickly took me away while I tried to process what just happened.

"I could have handled it on my own," I whispered.

"A simple thanks wouldn't hurt."

I blinked a few times before looking up at his face twisted in fury that would terrify anyone. "Thank you..."

"So... you've been with that asshole?"

I shook my head. "Must've mistaken me... Never seen him before."

He nodded his head and his expression softened when he examined my face in worry. "Are you okay?"

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks to you."

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"So his name's Yoosuk?" I eyed the man who was tied down before me in contempt. His touches along my back could still be felt and it truly sickened me.

"What shall we do?" One of the succubi asked me with a slight bow.

I clenched my jaw, holding out my hand. "Give me the searing whip. You can do the usual after I peel off his skin and hear him beg for mercy with strangled voice."

She smirked and nodded. "Understood... But why did you suddenly come back, Lust?"

"...Just wanted to..."

As I watched the man tremble violently with his eyes darting from my face to the whip in my hand, a thought that had never crossed my mind before came to me.

I wondered if I would torture Jungkook like this when I finally get him to sin...

And just then, a sharp pang in my chest confused me even more than ever.

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Is it me or has my writing gone worse after my small hiatus..? 🤭