I ran up the stairs, going as fast as I possibly could. 

The first thing Xavier had asked when we walked in was to see my room, which had made my face pale. That place was a fucking tip. It's one thing for Heather to judge me for my uncleanliness, but it felt different with Xavier. I wanted to impress him and dirty clothes sure as hell wouldn't do that. 

I had sent him to get me a glass of water to stall for time, but I knew the clock was ticking. I flung the door open, scrambling to pick up everything off the floor as quickly as I could. I dumped the piles of clothes in the washing basket, clearing everything on the floor into that one basket. Shoving it into the bathroom, I slammed the door shut. I quickly made my bed, hoping it made everything look at least a little better. 

"Cameron, can I come in?" Xavier called from the hallway, clearly a bit confused by all the banging sounds coming from my room.

I swung the door open, a tad flustered. He passed me the water and I downed it, setting the glass on my desk with the other plates and mugs. Not a lot I could do about that one. He didn't even glance at the dirty plates, his eyes scanning the rest of my room instead. 

I had a few posters tacked to my walls- just some bands, tv shows and art that I liked. He then looked through my video games, commenting his opinion on a few of them. We liked the same sort of stuff, which excited me. I found myself relaxing more, just being myself and talking about what I'm interested in. 

It didn't take long for me to pack a duffle bag full of clothes, school stuff and other bits I'd need. Most importantly, I packed my snack box into my bag, making Xavier chuckle. I wasn't leaving it here- what if I got hungry? 

"This room smells so strongly of you." Xavier seemed happy about that, sitting on the bed.

"Do you have heightened senses?" I questioned, curious as to how it worked. 

"It's not that strong in human form, but when we shift it's crazy." Xavier explained, "Your scent drives me wild, though- whether I'm in wolf or human form. It's sweet; you smell like bonbons." 

"Heather tells me that I smell like stale cigarettes and cheap body spray." I mused, "At least you can't smell that."

Xavier grinned, shaking his head with a laugh. I seemed to make him laugh a lot, which I was taking as a good thing. At least we have the same type of humour; I had found that a lot of people were challenged in the humour department, finding my jokes awkward. 

I finished packing my bag, looking over at Xavier to check was he was doing. My eyebrows shot up when I realised he had his head buried in my pillows, trying to subtly huff my scent like Fred huffs chemicals. Not that I could really judge him, since I had debated doing the same thing to his bed last night. 

"Ready to go?" I snapped him out of his bonbon-filled heaven.

"Sorry, it just smells really good." He blushed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

That's certainly the first time I've ever been told that. He carried my bag outside, loading it into the car for me. While glancing back at the house, a wave of sadness hit me as I realised I had been kicked out again. It wouldn't be long before she forgives me, but it still sucked.

"Are you okay?" Xavier's voice was soft, comforting. 

I sent him the best reassuring smile I could muster, taking a hold of his hand. My hand was smaller than his, slotting into his hand like it was moulded to fit there. In some respect, I suppose it had been- considering we're mates. Destined to be together, or whatever. Xavier had offered me some books to read about the pack and werewolves in general, but I sort of just wished there was a video explaining it. I suck at reading non-fiction. 

"I've got school tomorrow." I reminded him, "If I'm a no-show, it'll make my mum hate me even more."

"I'll drop you off in the morning. Just text me when you want to be picked up." Xavier nodded, "Also, I'm sure your mum doesn't hate you. I saw how worried she was in the hospital; she clearly loves you a lot. Try not to be so hard on yourself." 

All I could offer was a dejected nod, muttering a 'thanks'. I was finding it quite hard to open up about things without being embarrassed. Could Xavier even understand what it's like to have a bad relationship with your Mum? Or a Dad who had left? He came from a utopia where soulmates are real and everyone plays happy families- it's not exactly a realistic upbringing for most human people. 

He seemed so comfortable around me, which was unsettling to an extent. I think it's the mate bond. He said that he experiences it more intensely, but I think he was just more used to the idea that a 'mate' is somebody you spend your entire life with- no questions asked. Even marriage isn't that permanent in my world. 

I couldn't wait for tomorrow to roll around so that I could ask Heather... Oh, wait... 

I suppose I couldn't ask Heather anything.This was a secret that I had to keep from her. I gulped, my mouth feeling dry. I'm terrible at keeping secrets from Heather- it's just not in my nature. We tell each other everything and I go to her with all of my problems- I always have done. I'm not sure what to do about my feelings, knowing I can't turn to Heather this time. Who do I talk to?

"Are your parents okay with me being your mate?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to strike a nerve. 

"Werewolves don't really follow the western construct of gender and sexuality. If it helps, you can think of how Native Americans have the term 'two-spirit'- accepting LGBT people isn't hard for us because it's only with colonisation that such rigid social constructs came into place, which we try to reject." Xavier explained, "The moon goddess chooses your person for a reason- regardless of gender or race."

"That's cool." I was in awe- these guys lived in paradise, "The elders didn't like me because I was human, though." 

"They didn't not like you because you're human. They thought you'd expose us; we can't tell just anyone our secret." 

"If they said you couldn't tell me, were you going to be mateless?" 

"Kodiak wouldn't have ever let that happen. He was desperate to tell you- from the moment I woke up to the moment I went asleep, he wouldn't stop pestering me to tell you. I should have listened." Xavier sighed, "He still hasn't forgiven me for making you hurt like that."

It's strange knowing that there's essentially two minds inside of Xavier. They have separate ways of thinking- different opinions and wants. I thought back to the black furred wolf I had met last night- how gentle he had been with me. 

"Could I meet Kodiak again later?" I requested.

The car swerved suddenly, making me shriek. Xavier straightened the wheel, apologising. His voice was insanely deep and his eyes were jet black, his hands gripping the steering wheel with a death grip. 

"Sorry, I wasn't prepared for you to say his name. He gets excited when you do, so it's hard to control him. He's waited so long for this- he just wants to spend time with you." Xavier was clearly having an internal battle, making me anxious.

It's quite endearing that Kodiak has such a strong reaction when I say his name. He truly is like an excitable puppy, which puts me at ease. With Xavier, things are so complex, but Kodiak is simple. I don't even have to talk to him, since he can't reply. I was really warming up to Kodiak, especially since he had been pro-telling me from the start.

"Is that a yes to me spending time with Kodiak?" I used his name on purpose, enjoying the reaction he had.

"Of course." Xavier nodded stiffly, his eyes glued to the road so that we didn't crash.

It wasn't long before we were pulling back into the forest, heading down the same dirt road we had driven up to get out of here in the first place. The gates crept open, letting us back onto pack property. Xavier visibly relaxed when he was back inside these gates, but I don't think he even realised he did it. 

I guess it makes sense; this place is a safe haven for them. Outside of these gates they have to constantly hide who they are. Not to mention, Xavier had said that they lived in fear of those 'rogues' when outside of these gates. If I were them, I wouldn't want to leave either. Plus, their homes are so beautiful. 

"I know this is all a lot to handle, Cameron- let alone while handling home problems simultaneously... Are you okay? I know you don't feel like we know each other very well, but I'm always here for you. I want to help support you." Xavier squeezed my hand, giving me a sincere look.

"You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine." I told him automatically, not used to talking about my emotions with anyone other than Heather. 

"I don't expect you to open up yet, but I just wanted you to know that I'm here when you're ready." Xavier shrugged, pulling into a neighbourhood.

People were walking around now, a few of them tending to flowers while children played. They must have recognised his car, because they began to wave. I slumped in my seat, cowering away from their looks. For starters, I look like shit. I may have had a good sleep last night, but that hasn't cured bags caused by years of insomnia. 

"Do they know about me?" I asked quietly, a few people catching sight of me. 

"We're a tight knit pack. Secrets don't remain secrets for very long. Not long after I returned home, I realised that my mate was in town. When I found you, I kept my distance, but I told the elders and my Beta. They advised that I kept an eye on you, but soon the whole pack knew. You can't say anything in the pack house without everyone hearing." 

"Explains why Noah can't get some." I muttered, causing Xavier to chuckle. 

"Noah can't get some at the moment because his mate's pregnant." Xavier chuckled, "He doesn't know yet, so don't mention it. She's throwing a surprise party to tell him."

The first thought that crossed my mind upon hearing that was whether he would be happy about having a kid at such a young age, but then I realised that it was probably a dumb thought. Of course he'd be happy- it's his mate. We're not in the real world. Plus, he had mentioned earlier that he'd like to be a dad. 

"I can't believe he thought I'd be the one receiving." I scoffed, thinking back to our earlier conversation with Noah. 

We had just pulled into his driveway, Xavier and I climbing out of the car. As I said that, he stilled and sent me an incredulous look. I sent him a questioning look back, wondering what was the matter. Had he heard something? Might be a wolf thing. 

"Nothing." He muttered, a shadow of a grin playing on his lips.

"No, tell me!" I argued, following him into the house. 

"I don't want to shatter your ego." He creased, laughs finally spilling out of him. 

Finally, the implication behind his smile dawned on me. I blushed, shaking my head quickly. There's no way that I'm doing that. I had only ever done straight sex, but that still meant the I had more experience than Xavier, so I don't know why he's so confident about his role.

"If you think Kodiak isn't taking control, you're wrong." He deadpanned before I could even argue with him, "Don't put the thought in his head, though. He already wants me to kiss you for having such an adorable thought."

I blushed, wanting to say 'why don't you', but feeling too nervous to. I had an undeniable urge to kiss him too. I wanted to jump him and just go to bed, but we had agreed to take things slowly. As much as the feeling in my stomach was telling me to smash my lips on his, my brain was telling me to get to know him first. 

"Kodiak seems fun." I teased, making his eyes turn black.

"Careful." He warned, his voice gruff. 

Okay. Maybe Noah wasn't wrong.