I found life very dull without Xavier around. We had tried texting on and off, but he was busy pretty much all day everyday and I was out all night, so things didn't really work out. The twins used to be pretty good company, but these days I found myself longing to see that buzzed head at the bottom of my garden.

I had been missing Xavier a lot, but I was also looking forward to our 'date'- his words not mine. Every time my chest ached because he was gone and it hurt to think about him, I reminded myself that I was seeing him in a few days. It sounded pathetic, since I barely knew him, but I couldn't explain what I felt.

When Friday morning rolled around, I was a ball of energy; I hadn't felt this awake in a while. I jumped in the shower, eagerly washing my hair with shampoo and conditioner. I had a pep in my step when I slid my clean clothes (that Heather had picked out for me last night) on and brushed my teeth.

I had asked Xavier what we were doing, but he refused to say, so I dressed it down with just a white long sleeved top and black jeans. I pulled on a belt, some black converse and a Santa Cruz coach jacket. I nodded at my reflection, grabbing my backpack and heading off to school.

I was excited for today. I practically speed walked all the way to school, enjoying the scenery of the tree line path. I even sent a small wave goodbye to the guy following me when I reached the school gates, who seemed alarmed that I had even noticed that he was even there. He wasn't exactly inconspicuous- he's at least six and a half feet tall.

I skipped up the steps to the common room, entering with a smile on my face.

That was all ruined when I saw the state of the common room. People were hoarding around a notice board and others were crying. They weren't slightly teary, but absolute balling their eyes out; one guy was hysterical, absolutely unconsolable. What the hell did I just walk into?

I spotted my friends in our usual spot and walked around all of the commotion, dropping down onto the sofa to find out what's going on. My group had bleak expressions slapped on their face too, but none of them were crying like some others were.

"What have I missed?" I whispered, trying to keep my voice down to be respectful.

"A girl in year twelve died." Ava muttered, sighing.

"What? How?" I gasped, leaning in for answers.

"Attacked in the woods." Heather spat, "Come with me."

She pulled me out of my seat and dragged me out of the common room, down the fire escape stairs. I was wondering what was going on and why Heather was so angry; I hadn't ever seen her seething with pure hate before.

"The girl that was attacked worked for your precious Xavier. He's been protecting you for weeks, so he clearly knew about something dangerous in this town. If he knew, why didn't he protect her? It seems fishy to me- I don't trust him." Heather hissed, "You'd be stupid to go on this date, you'd be alone with that guy! With everything going on, I don't think it's smart- what if he's responsible?"

I was left opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. I wasn't sure what to say. Xavier was tied up in some pretty serious accusations right now. I can't deny what she's saying makes logical sense. The feeling in my chest was screaming at me to not listen to her, but it was undeniably dangerous to get involved with whatever is happening there.

As much as I trust Xavier, I was purely going on an innate feeling. I knew next to nothing about him and I certainly couldn't vouch for him with material evidence- I only had a feeling. It wasn't looking so good.

"You really think he's involved?" I finally whispered, my heart aching as I said it.

"I do." She stated confidently, "Even if he's not responsible, it's too convenient that he claims he's protecting you from something dangerous and then this happens."

"I won't go then." I promised, fighting down the feeling in my chest that was screaming his innocence.

I pulled out my phone, going to his contact. I sighed, looking at Heather one last time, before looking back down at my phone. I thought back to the agony on that boy in the common rooms face from losing somebody he loved and bit my lip, pressing the dial button.

"Cameron, I'm glad you called. I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can make it tonight. Stuff at work has come up and it's hectic. Can we reschedule to-" Xavier began to ramble.

"Don't bother." I cut him off, "I called to tell you that I don't want to go on this date. I want to trust you, Xavier, but you make it so hard. I don't know what you're involved in, but I don't want any part of it. I'm sorry. Goodbye."

"No, Cameron. Wait-"

I hung up on him. Tears were brimming in my eyes, which made me absolutely hate myself. Why was I acting like this? I barely knew him, so it should be so easy to just cancel. I took a seat on the stairs, burying my head in my hands. It felt so wrong to say that to him and it hurt like hell to say goodbye. My feelings were in overdrive, attacking me for cutting off the object of their affection.

I was gasping for air, feeling as if I had severed a part of myself off. I felt confused and hurt, but I wasn't sure why these emotions felt so intense when I barely knew him. This isn't normal. I shouldn't be acting like this when people have actually lost a loved one, but I couldn't control it.

"Cameron, I'm not sure what's going on with you, but you need to pull yourself together. It's just a guy." She shook her head, making me sob harder.

He's not just a guy. I don't know what it is, but there's something deeper there. From the moment I first saw him, I had become consumed by overwhelming emotions directed towards him. At first it was guilt from leaving him, then paranoia, but now it was so much more than that. He was slowly consuming my every thought- changing my very mood.

My breathing was out of control. I was gasping for air, my heart banging against my chest uncontrollably. I continued sobbing, wiping the tears away ferociously with shaking hands. I couldn't get a grasp on my emotions and that freaked me out further, because I didn't know how to stop it. Everything was spinning and my sobs were coming out strangled and loud.

"Cameron, you're scaring me." Heather's voice was small, "I'm going to get help."

I felt like I had enough emotions for three people crammed into my body right now, but none of them made any sense to me. I was rocking myself, trying to keep breathing through the pain ripping through my chest. My knees were damp with tears, soaking through the fabric onto my skin to remind me that I couldn't get a hold on my emotions.

"Cameron?"

I was gasping for air, feeling as if I was choking. I clutched my chest, shaking my head at anyone who came near me. The nurse was trying to get me to focus on her, but I couldn't focus on anything other than the emotions rushing through me. I could hear my phone ringing non stop and it was only making it worse.

"Cameron, close your eyes and focus on breathing like me. Breath in: one... two... three... four." I heard the nurse telling me,

I did as she said, forcing all of my concentration to go into my breathing. I matched her pattern, regaining some control, although it was still shaky. I kept following her orders, feeling the pain in my chest lessen slowly. Even when the sobbing stopped, I continued to breathe like the nurse told me to, because I was too scared to stop. I didn't want that to happen again.

"Can you stand? I need to get you to my office." The nurse's voice was soothing and I nodded.

With her help, I got to my feet and she walked me across the playground- her arm supporting my shaky frame- until we got to her office. I could see students in every classroom window around the school- staring at me- and it freaked me out.

"Ignore them. Focus on me." The nurse soothed me, "We're almost there."

I focused on the sound of her voice as she kept talking to me. I stumbled a bit along the way, but we finally made it to the nurse's office and she helped me up onto the patient bed. The cool surface soothed my hot body and I welcomed the feeling, laying down and closing my eyes.

She placed a wet paper cloth on my forehead, handing me a water bottle. I sipped from it, realising just how dry my mouth had been. I gulped more down, savouring the cool feeling. What had just happened had really scared me and I was still a bit shaky.

The nurse excused herself for a second, stepping outside of the office. I closed my eyes once again, focusing on my breathing to steady myself. I knew what I had just had was called a panic attack, but I had never experienced one first hand before.

"Let me through. I need to see him- Is he okay?" A voice bellowed from outside the office, authority dripping form his voice. Xavier.

"He's fine. I wouldn't advise it, Alpha. It might set him off again." The nurse replied, making me scrunch up my nose.

Alpha? What? Why would the nurse be calling Xavier Alpha? I knew Alpha was greek for one, but that still didn't make any sense. Maybe it was a nickname. I was really hoping it was an inside joke and not a gang name... Or a kink thing.

"Keep your voice down." He hissed, confirming my fears that it was probably some kind of gang name. How corny, calling yourself the Alpha of your gang.

"Apologies. I should really get back to him." She reminded him.

"Are you sure he's okay?" Xavier's voice was much more sincere now; he seemed scared for me.

"I promise. He will be fine." The nurse comforted him, "It was only a panic attack. I don't think he can handle the emotional bond."

"With all due respect, that is not your decision to make. It is the elders." Xavier's voice had a sharp edge to it now, the authority back and dripping from every word.

"Apologies, Alpha." The nurse backed down quickly.

The whole conversation left me even more confused. I felt a yearn to call out, ask Xavier to come in and hold my hand, but I fought it. This whole situation was too scary for me to handle right now; I just want to go home and cry into my pillows. How did the nurse know about this 'emotional bond' and what was causing it? I had so many unanswered questions, it was giving me a headache.

The nurse stepped back inside, sending me a sympathetic smile. I no longer found her soothing. I also didn't like that she thought I was too weak to 'handle' whatever this bond thing was. I felt defensive of it, for some reason.

"I think the best thing would be to send you home. You look like you could use some rest." The nurse cooed, "I'll ring your mum and get you off on your way."

"She's at work. I can just walk, it's not far." I murmured.

"Okay. Since you're eighteen, that should be okay, but I just need to ring her to make sure she's okay with you walking home." The nurse smiled sweetly, dialling my mum.

Within a few minutes, I was being sent on my way. I couldn't get off of the school grounds quick enough, since I was still seeing people staring at me from every window. I walked through the school gates, getting the feeling that Xavier was near instantly. I peered into the tree line, spotting him leaning against a tree.

We looked straight at each other for a few seconds. I wanted nothing more than to just run over there and hug him, but I didn't trust him anymore. His secrets had caused a death. His eyes scanned over me hungrily, sending shivers down my spine that I ignored. I'm glad he wishes he hadn't fucked up- Heather and I had put a lot of thought into this outfit.

I felt my chest tighten from looking at him, so I turned away and started to walk in the opposite direction. If he was going to block my path home, then I was going to have to take the long way to avoid the tree line path.

I was absolutely not speaking to him.