Lupus Princeps

1.7 - The Long Lost Library

"WE COULD CUT around it?" Mona offered, holding up the thick leg of the deer. "We could get at least another few days of it."

Nymeria sighed, tracing the outline of rot slowly spreading across the leg. Her eyes flickered to the Male at the other side of the room. "How can we cut it? We don't have knives."

Ronnie sat beside them, itching to stretch her legs and venture past the outside of their small cottage for over a week now. There was no curfew for them in this place and Ronnie wanted to take all the freedom she could grab.

"There might be some supplies in another house?" Ronnie said, shrugging with feigned indifference, she didn't want to be the outlier if no one else felt the same way or decided it was a horrid idea. But truth be told that all the women inside the cottage were going stir-crazy. 

They had shared living quarters for their entire life back in their lost society, it was a safety blanket for them. But there were other houses in the village. Houses to claim as their own and for Ronnie, she wanted nothing more than to have a home, not living quarters, it was too painful of a reminder.

Nymeria thought back to the danger lurking in the treelines. The wolf, probably desperate to sink its teeth into warm flesh. She suppressed a shudder and passed off her paranoia.

Mona nodded, "Hmm. It's about time we start clearing the houses, seeing what we can find." She looked to Nymeria for her opinion on the matter.

"The girls need a new change of clothes," Amabelle added, "maybe we could look for some too?" 

Nymeria wanted to tell everyone to stay inside, tell them it was the safest place they could be but even Nymeria knew it wouldn't last forever. They couldn't stay in the confinements of the cottage before they started needing more space, more supplies, more food and freedom. 

It wasn't right for her to stop them from leaving, even if it was for their safety. That would make her just as bad as Commander Don and the thought left her feeling sick to her stomach. 

So she nodded and plastered a small smile on her face, "Yeah." She swallowed, "Okay."

Mona clapped her hands together and dropped the leg back to the ground. 

Nymeria looked to the Male in the room, "The Male comes with."

Upon hearing this, Gale looked up. It was the first time she had directly spoken to him in a week and he was glad. He wanted to talk to someone, anyone in the cottage, he missed conversations that didn't end with everyone telling him they don't trust him, or that he's a threat. 

Mona furrowed her brows, "Why shouldn't Gale stay here?" She seemed genuinely confused and Nymeria thought it was obvious.

"I don't trust him to be alone with the children," Nymeria spoke, loud enough for the Male and everyone else in the room to hear. 

Amabelle nodded, glancing at her two children. She didn't trust the Male either. Some of the women in the camp asked their children to move away from him at hearing this. As if it reminded them he was a Male and or that reason alone, he was dangerous.

Gale sighed, wanting to tell her over and over again, he was no threat, but he knew they wouldn't listen so he stayed silent.

Together, Nymreia, Ronnie, Amabelle, Mona and Gale ventured beyond the cottage. 

Nymeria held the Golden Laburnum branch in her hands, for safekeeping and wished she had something stronger to use. She watched the treeline with a careful gaze, waiting for the wolf to appear and after a few moments, it was clear the wolf was gone.

They began their search with a small cottage, closest to their own. It was similar in size and shape, but well kept and less damaged on the inside. 

Ronnie laughed quietly to herself, "And to think we were living right next to all this luxury." She held up a clean washcloth, "No dirt. No rot-"

"No smell." Gale interrupted, earning a quick glare from all the women. He discretely rolled his eyes. 

Nymeria glanced around, Ronnie was right, the cottage was cleaner and more well-preserved than the one they were living in, it didn't need any sort of clearing up beside the clutter of materials on the floor.

She only glanced at them briefly before striding past them and to the shelves on the far corner of the room. She could only assume that would be where the knives and sharp objects would be kept. 

In all honesty, she wouldn't know where they were kept. Women were never allowed to keep knives or sharp objects, let alone wield them. It was a Male's job. Butchery.

"No!" Ronnie shouted, cowering back into a wall. 

Nymeria flinched and turned around instantly. She met the gaze of the Male. 

The Male, holding a knife as long as her forearm. 

He stared at the knife in his hands and all the women froze in fear. Cowering and shrinking in their vulnerability, even Mona's mouth jutted open, Ronnie collapsed to the ground and Amabelle sent a prayer to the skies. 

The Male slowly rose his eyes to meet Nymeria's. Like a predator stalking its prey, his fingertips lingered on the blade.

Nymeria fought against her trembling hands as they betrayed her. Her face void of all emotion, she would not show him her fear, not if these would be her final moments. 

He seemed hesitant before slowly moving towards her. Careful in his steps, once he was a foot away from Nymeria, the blade moved.

Flipped backwards in his hand, Gale waited for her reaction as he held the knife's handle out to her. 

"Take it." He murmured. 

Nymeria stared at the Male, long and hard. Contemplating everything that could possibly go wrong, if she took that step closer to him and accepted his offering. Was it fake? Just a reason to play into her fear, lull her into a sense of safety before he plunged the knife into her stomach?

"Okay, nevermind then," He spoke after a while of Nymeria only staring at him, "I'm going to put it down on the ground."

He slowly sank to the ground, gently placing the knife on the floorboards and backed away from it. 

Only when he reached a distance that Nymeria was positive he couldn't jump her, did she grab the knife and all the women collectively sighed in relief. 

Nymeria had all the power now, she clutched the knife to her chest stepped away from the Male. She didn't know what to feel at that moment, other than relief, Nymeria was confused. 

She was confused because it was the closest any of them had ever come to an act of kindness shown by a Male. She didn't even know how to react, what to say, where would she go from there? Was it a ploy to falsify a feeling of safety?

"I'm just gonna stay over here, now," Gale said, inching away from the women. He held his hands up in an exaggerated manner, almost mocking. "Just going to stand here and do nothing. Okay?" 

He didn't really understand why the women still looked at him like a threat. Had he not proved himself to be trustworthy? What more could he do? He pulled a face and leaned against the wall, twiddling his thumbs and looking anywhere but Nymeria. 

Once the atmosphere had calmed and the cottage had been thoroughly looted, they headed over to the next cottage.

"Why haven't we been in there?" Amabelle asked, her voice high and tense with shock. "It's so big." 

Nymeria followed her pointing hands and found herself stood with the same shocked expression on her face. 

The house at the midpoint between a mountain and the valley stood with an exquisite grandeur, a house fancier than Nymeria, or even Gale, had ever encountered. Built into the curvature of the mountain, it overlooked the entire village below and it was large enough to fit several cottages inside. 

The group shared a nod, a silent agreement to explore it. Something in the architecture called to Nymeria, begging and longing for her gaze, itching against her sides until it became too powerful to ignore. Her dark eyes landed on the carvings, etched and scratched into every surface of the building, the same symbol that was carved on every possible visible surface of the village. 

It felt stranger now than the last time she had seen it; her fascination was stronger, the pull was stronger. She was drawn to it the moment she had stepped closer, tugging in her gut, her body ached to touch it and feel its euphoria bolt through her.

She scolded herself internally, ripping her eyes away from the marks and instead focussed on the matter at hand, ignoring her abnormal wants and the subsequent confusion that followed.

The wind around them gathered speed and urged them to continue further, almost pushing them towards the large mahogany doors. Nymeria was pushed against them from the wind.

"Quickly, quickly." Ronnie urged, pushing on the door but having no luck. 

The temperature around the group dropped until their harsh breaths were visibly expelled from their lungs, like the smoke of a fire. "Is there a storm coming?"

"I've never felt a storm like this."

The wind picked up again, as the group huddled closer to the doors, Nymeria was fully aware of exactly how close that Male was and it unsettled her to the point of near hyperventilation. 

The temperature dropped again and Nymeria's hands pushed against the door once more. Only this time her hands unknowingly scraped across one of the marks and suddenly there was a searing fire in her veins, plummeting lower and lower until it burned into her core. 

A sweat broke out on her skin, despite the cold nipping against her flushed face. Her fingers twitched against the mark carved into the wood of the doors, and simultaneously her insides twitched with the action, too.

The wind stopped as suddenly as it had begun and the temperature rose back to what it had been, if not hotter than before. 

Nymeria paid no attention to any of this. She hadn't even realised the door was open and everyone around her was seeping through. All she could comprehend was the burning, the intense, painless burning. The need for something. Yet she couldn't place what. 

 Just as her neck prickled to the sense of being watched, Mona placed a hand over her own and pulled her through the doors. 

The burning had ceased and Nymeria was left with a hollow chest and the want- no the need, to touch the marking once again. A sense of longing almost overwhelmed her and deep loss so prevalent it terrified her. She had physically lost nothing in the past few moments yet it affected her like the loss of Amara.

She took a moment to regain control, to fight past her conflicting emotions, battling against her confusion, the loss, longing and most significantly the need to place her skin against the etchings again. 

After a few moments, it had passed yet she was left feeling more hollow and lost than before.

"I underestimated how tired you are," Mona sighed, passing off Nymeria's strange behaviour as exhaustion, "take all the time you need."

It did nothing to soothe her, as it usually would. Nymeria longed for something more; she knew it was out there, that feeling, the calming exhilaration of the etching and what it did to her body, she wanted more. 

She couldn't explain it to Mona, she didn't even want to. It felt personal. Private and completely her own. She sighed, selfishly hoping to be the only one that felt it. 

"I didn't think this would be a library." The Male spoke in clear awe.

Nymeria only then realised her surroundings and she realised a gasp of astonishment. She had never seen a library before. It was only reserved for the Males, back in their community. Of course, the Male was not as impressed as Nymeria or the other women in the group. Libraries were common for them and holding limitless knowledge did not appeal to Males anymore. 

It was forbidden for a woman to read, let alone gather knowledge and expertise, but now Nymeria was a free woman, these books were as much her property as they were the Male. Maybe, even more, when she thought back to the knife in her bag.

The blossoming curiosity overpowered her hollowed longing and Nymeria began scanning the shelves.

"There's a whole section on pregnancy." The Male began, "that's good to know." He shovelled books into his arms to bring back to the cottage.

"There are some books on hunting over here!" Ronnie squealed as the thought of more food like the deer caused her to salivate.

Mona chuckled, taking in the wonders of the library too.

Nymeria was distracted dragging her fingers across the books, dancing along the spines brushing dust along with her gentle movements. She felt pride bloom like spring roses in her chest and she couldn't place a reason behind it. The feeling was so powerful it seeped out of her face and Nymeria realised she was grinning with satisfaction.

She slipped through each aisle, running her fingers on as many books as she could possibly touch, subconsciously claiming them as her own. 

Her fingers froze when the familiar burning shot through her. Her head snapped to the book her fingers had stuck to. 

The spine was tattered and broken, the leather of the book's cover was ripped and worn as though fingers had brushed through the book hundreds of times over. And the very tips of Nymeria's fingers were delicately tracing the etching of the mark that seared her body.

Gently she pulled the book from the shelf, her anxiety skyrocketing as she stole it from the shelf, she worried that it would fall apart in her hands, just like Amara, so fragile and already worn and torn. She wouldn't be the cause of its ruin.

Without realising her actions, she brought the book to her nose. Closing her eyes in bliss as the leather danced lightly across her lips. It didn't smell like the other books within the long lost library, the scent was enthralling and old. It was barely there, but if she brought the pages close enough she could smell old traces of heaven.

Delicately, she opened the pages. 

The disappointment was sour on her tongue. She realised with a frown that even if it had been written in her language, which it clearly wasn't, she still wouldn't have been able to understand the book's contents.

Across each dusty page, hundreds upon hundreds of symbols were handwritten precisely. Nymeria could sense the importance on each page, yet her frustration only grew with each passing moment and helplessness settled in her stomach.

Her eyes glanced towards the Male, piling medicinal books in his arms two aisles away. She fought against her desperation. Even if the Male had any knowledge of the symbols, she would never be asking him for help. She pinched herself for even entertaining the thought.

She wretched the book shut, more violently than she would have liked, but helplessness was not a feeling she ever wanted to endure again. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and Amara's face flashed behind her lids. 

Sighing, she gripped the book to her torso. Shielding it from any prying eyes and reluctantly returned back to the group.

She would find out what the symbols meant on her own. One way or another.

(2611 Words)

A bit of a short chapter, unfortunately, but the next chapter will hopefully make up for it tenfold! ;)

Can you guess what will happen next chapter? It's a very special chapter and hopefully, it will clear a few things up. 

More importantly...

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to all my readers out there.

I can't fully express how grateful I am for your endless support! With everything that's been going on in the world, I am so very proud to have such a lovely, kind and sweet group of people reading, commenting and voting on my books. 

I want to let you know that I read every comment on all of my books and it fills me with such joy whenever I see your endless patience and support. Thank you.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/night! Stay safe and keep an eye out for the next chapter! It'll be a good one ;)