" I am not going to leave you." I hear nana say from behind me.

I don't say anything but turn from my dressing mirror, to face her.

She stands at the doorway, now watching me.

" You need not be alone at such a time, your nana is here with you and I won't dare leave."

" I know that you won't leave nana."

" Good, now tell me about that beautiful dream of yours." She says, entering my room and walking on to prepare my bed, for the night.

" Why nana?"

" Well, it brings out that beautiful smile of my flower. So of course I want to hear it."

" I feel like I am still alive and breathing, when I hear or see them. Is that not good nana?" I ask in a small voice, feeling desperate for an answer.

" They are a part of you my dear, memories of them give you a reason to continue right now." She says, patting the bed.

She wants me to get in bed.

Her words feel nice to hear but that small smile of hers, calms me down.

" Nana, I was asleep not so long ago." I remind her.

" I want to spend some time with my Catherine." She says, patting the empty spot.

I sigh, caving in.

I walk on to my closet and change into my PJs before getting under the bed cover, she sits beside me and I shift closer to her, resting my head on her lap.



" Don't sleep too soon." She says, combing her fingers through my hair.

" It might be impossible if you continue doing that."

" Being present and talking with you, is good enough for me." She says. " Now tell me all about your dream."

" Do I really need to speak about it?"

" No you don't have to, but it would be nice if we talk for a little while. Just the two of us."

"Hmm.......They want me to think about them all the time, they want to remind me that they are with me, even if....."

" Your beautiful dream." She says. " It made your heart calm, tell me about it." She repeats her last words.

" It felt normal and real, a dream come true. I didn't want to wake up honestly."

" It made it easy to stay asleep."

" Yes."

" If you slept for too long, then I would have been bored." She chuckles.

"Nana, we've gone through years without seeing each other, I'm pretty sure that you have surpassed the stages of boredom."

" Maybe, but then I got spoilt when we reunited again."

" I think we have totally different meanings to being spoilt nana. You took up the role of being my mother, I have been spoilt, receiving my mother's love, all these years."

I feel her kiss my head.

" Nana, do you think there is anything left I will have to lose?...."

" Don't speak this way my dear, it hurts my heart to hear you speak like this."

" There is my life, that is left....But there is not much of it to take, parts of my life are gone now." A tear slips out, trailing down my face.

" Catherine please dear....let's talk of something good." Her tone makes me aware that my tear has touched her skin. Her small gasp reached my ears.

I don't say anything.

" Let's talk of your dream, I want to feel what you felt."

Her words coat me like a blanket and thoughts of the dream I had, come alive once again.

" Okay nana, I'll tell you about my dream."

" Before you do, I want to say that it is good to hear you talking again."

*******



They had respected my decision and a time to say goodbye, finally came, it did earlier. I apologised to papa about my tone and that I didn't mean to offend him, he understood me and told me that he is just a phonecall away.

He shared how my words concerning his availability in Ronan's life, touched him and that he realises that there is a lot, he needs to do,to make right again and even to remind Ronan, that he never lost his papa.

Stephanie was sweet and surely offered her help, anytime I may need it. She mentioned that this would be a Luna to Luna type of help and I thanked her.

By the time it came for me to say goodbye to Ronan, I sensed that he was still troubled with leaving, I had quite a lot of convincing to do. He told me that with him leaving, he is respecting my decision of needing space but emphasised, on his being the overbearing protective brother, if ever the need to check on me came, he wanted to let me know that the pack would be seeing more of him from now on.

He was aware that some people still viewed him by his mistakes, that sense of worry over our papa, finding out of the deeds he's done, has made it quite difficult to stay in his presence for long, he's been ' very busy ' lately.

I could only advise him to calm down and not try push papa away. He needs his guidance as not only an alpha, but a leader with a mentor. For so long, he'd been under bad influence but not now.

He needs our papa now and that he need not do anything alone anymore. He has help.

My words helped him relax somewhat, when he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight, it was almost as if he was worried that he would not see me again, as if I would disappear.

I reassured him that I would pull through, he need not worry too much. There is too much that needs me, that needs for me to be focused, I'll take it easy but necessarily fast, in order for things around me to be kept afloat.

I watched them drive away as I did, with my mate and daughter. Before my mind could be flooded by the images, I turned back and walked away.

In these three days of the pack mourning, I had been preparing myself for when the time came, for me to stand before people. These three days, were for the interest and comfort of the pack, that they know that they are always in our thoughts.

They have lost their leader, their alpha and his pup. In these three days, it was important that they have time to cry and face their loss, to not be held down emotionally with demand for their focus, on work.

They are people too.

What relieved but touched me, was that the caretakers of the nursary, made arrangements, that the children would not feel neglected.

I haven't been there for some time now and this has reminded me, of places, in which I would have to visit.

There is a place, where I have been urging to go to and I made it into a priority, though I knew that it would do something to my heart, it was better I do this, see everything being replayed as if it were that day. Someone would consider me crazy, for even considering going to the place that I lost my family, but I need to face it again.

I am in clear mind today, or so I hope so. Well everything will be proven today and its end results.

Concern has befallen my driver as we arrive but he doesn't voice it out, waiting for me to make my move and I do, when I step out of the car.

I let out a shaky breath, loosening the grip I had on the door and closing it. I take slow but careful step away from the car, with no intention of looking over the edge, it might do the worst to me. The memory might be too vivid and scary for me to face again.

Stopping in close distance, not enough to see over the edge, but just for the safety of my sanity. I hold out what I held in my other hand, to view and a small smile takes over at the beautiful sight, of my family. I can remember that we had a family photoshoot and it was so much fun.

My finger traces on the glass, as if I can touch them again and I can feel my eyes well up already.

" My family." I let out in almost a whisper, testing out my voice.

" I have been missing you, a lot." I let out a breath.

I can feel tears threatening to come out and so I change the direction of topic.

" I had a meeting earlier with the leaders and elders today, I found out today that you had issued a document of trust, in me taking your place, with help mostly from Travis. You broke a lot of protocol and bended rules too.

You trusted me before and still you do today, you've proved this once again." I say, looking at Mica.

" Questioning will be thrown my way at each chance, like never before. You know that it's one thing that I got used to, with time. My love, there are battles that will be presented before me, battles that would be better to face with you by my side.

There are storms that I would need for your strength, to overcome.

How will I - How can I move on in life without you or my little butterfly?"

Not being able to hold it in, a tear slips out.

" I had gotten used to doing things on my own, living a life of completing each task I was given. Then you came into my life and it felt like reliving again. It has been the most fulfilling journey with you.

How do you expect me to get used to life without you, how....." I stop short of my words, my throat tightening.

I shouldn't be talking this way, no, he is with me. I shouldn't be talking as if they are gone when I can still feel them with me.

Oh gosh, how do I make sense of what to feel right now?

" No, you're with me. I'm not alone. We are in this together....right?" My voice grows small at the last word and quite uncertain, as a shot of emptiness starts spreading throughout my system.

" I will be meeting the pack later on today, they have been needing word from me as their Luna. I should have met them earlier but I just....I didn't have enough strength to...."

My eyes drop to my feet at my admittance. I wipe at the fallen tears, not wanting my vision to get blurred.

" I have little strength and I'll hold onto it, I need to, for you, for everyone.....I'm here because, because I wanted to face what happened. I wanted to face the place that took my family away from me.

The place that...." The rest of my words get stuck in my throat and not being able to handle being here anymore, I quickly turn away and start heading for the car.

' Belle .'

I stop short in my tracks.

It's like I can hear his voice, the wind has whispered this into my ear, it is like hearing the distant sound of waves.

I slowly turn around, expecting to see him but I see nothing. The desperation to see him, for my memories to bring him to life again, push me to close my eyes and to disappear in mind from my surroundings.

I feel light again, there is no sense of heaviness weighing me down.

A gasp slips out at the feeling.

" I can feel you." I whisper out in a strangled cry, tears falling like never before.

I can feel him everywhere like a thousand sparks, touching each and every part of my skin.

" I can feel you, I can feel you...."

I feel tingles on my face and a smile lifts on my face.

I can sense him tell me that he is with me. He is within me, he is in every fibre of my being. My soulmate will always be my soulmate. He is in my soul.

The time to leave is now yet something makes me to stay a little a longer. A memory, the last memory I have of us talking before he left.

~ flashback~

' My Belle." He murmurs against my skin.

" I think you like being close to me alpha."

" I do, don't I?"

We can't help but smile at each other.

' Okay, you should go now." He nods in agreement yet he doesn't make a move.

" What are you waiting for?" I ask curiously.

" For my Belle, to tell me that she loves me."

" I love you." I say.

" I love you." He responds.

He pulls his hands back, before they touch my face. My eyes close as he kisses my forehead.

~ End of flashback.~

My eyes open and I feel to tingles on my forehead, as if his lips have truly touched my skin in this moment.

With my vision cleared, I realise when I glance down, that my hand had touched my chest, right where my heart beats. I could feel his heartbeat aligned with mine.

He had taken my hand to touch his chest before, wanting me to feel his heartbeat against my hand. I had no words then and even now, there are none. His heartbeat is my own, that's all that comes to me.

It settles me in comfort with such a beautiful truth.

********

A deadly silence fills the room as I stand behind the podium. Each and every person waits for me to speak yet they can't help but be curious of how I am feeling, how I am coping right now.

Some urge to question me or communicate with me, to offer their condolences but now, I need to address them now. Another time shall come for all this.

My hands touch the podium and I let out an inaudible sigh, needing a second before speaking.

" Afternoon to everyone." I greet and in one accord, they greet me back.

" I will not keep you but will make my address short."

I take a breath before continuing.

" At times we try to look for the right time, to do something and it seems to never come. The three days of mourning was given to you all, in not only honour of your presence as pack members but as a value, of each and every one of you, your loss and what the lives of your alpha, your leader and his offspring, meant to you.

This is a difficult and trying time for all of us, but know that you are not alone. They meant something to each and everyone of you and I know, everyone has a story to tell.

I am thankful for your support and your messages of love, I have heard that many of you, had ideas that you would like to share with me, as a form of remembrance to your alpha. I am touched, truly.

We have lost very important people in our lives but it doesn't mean, that they are erased from our hearts or memories. The memories, are what we shall keep alive.

In that said, I wanted to let you know that I am aware of your concerns for the future. Many of us, have seen the different results that have come of a pack without a leader. This has given you concern on what would be the next step for the future.

I want to tell you today that there is a way forward, we will move forward and I am still here, as your Luna. I am not here to promise you the ends of the world but to be real and honest. In this, I tell you that the road ahead might be challenging but we will breakthrough, we will overcome, as long as we are united, in mind, in heart and commitment to the Mystic Range pack.

Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a right over their lives and that is why, if any one isn't certain or cannot see themselves under a pack, with no alpha but a luna and many of our Leaders, I say to you today, that I don't hold you at fault. " I say this, passing my eyes from one corner of the room to the other end.

" You've been accustomed to the generational trait, of the alpha position either being passed on to another or the second in command. Well my apologies to you, because such a trait has taken a turn. Your alpha, in written and sealed decree, has entrusted I, along with your leaders, to carry on the legacy and the name of this pack.

I want to make it clear today and moving forward, that I am not stepping aside or down but I will remain standing, as your leader. I am neither your dictator or commander but your voice. Everyone has a quality that adds value to this pack. None, do I consider unimportant.

I will speak this only once and I wish that you hear me well, as your leader and in your best interest, I present to you a choice, before we move forward. This choice is for you to make, not with my influence or any of our leaders but in your belief.

You have a choice right now, whether to remain here and hold hands with the rest of us, in determination to make our pack the best that it has ever been, or you wish to cut ties with us and move on somewhere, under a different leadership."

Murmurs sound and I see people glancing at each other, while some stare at me wide eyed, surprised by my words.

' Catherine.' I hear Travis mindlink me but I don't look his way, not daring break eye contact with the people.

I hold up my hand as a signal for their attention and silence.

" I mean no harm or agenda in what I have spoken, and neither am I influenced by emotions of our tragic loss, don't be mistaken or misunderstand me. I am saying this out of the respect for you and the care, I have for you. I neither want you to be offended or feel cast aside, but for you to know that you are also your own person and you have a right to choose.

We have made arrangements already for anyone who wishes to leave, we have a total of 10 packs, ready to recieve anyone, packs that have a track record of being a united front, those who care and are strong. Powerful packs indeed.

With those who choose to remain here, we look forward to many years with you. I want to make you aware today, that along the way, we will be questioned, some might look down at us and make comparisons but do not fear or be shaken. We are a powerful pack, a pack that not only depends on one thing. We can neither be confirmed by one standard or perception. We are overcomers, warriors, we are victorous, but most of all, we are a family.

I will not keep you any longer but will excuse you to share thought over what I have discussed with you and I will await your decisions.

Thank you." I nod and turn away from them.

Travis is the first to come my way, our eyes connect and he gives me a reassuring smile.

As I move past him, heading for the exit, I hear movement behind me, chairs scraping along the floor.

' Wait Catherine.' Travis mindlinks me, stopping me.

I turn around to face ahead and my lips part, at the sight of the whole pack, down on their knees, with their hands touching their chests.

" Honour to our Luna!!" I hear Travis say, making me to glance to him, where now he has kneeled down, along with the other leaders.

" Honour to our Luna!!!" Everyone else follows.

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes but I blink them back. They are showing trust in me and loyalty as a pack. They don't just see their Luna but their leader.

I am truly touched.

I walk forward and take a stand beside the podium, I touch my chest and nod to them.

" Honour to the Mystic Range Pack. Our pack!" I respond in clear voice before taking a step back.

I mindlink Travis on my way out and let him know that he can take over now and release everyone.

I feel Cara and Evan fall instep behind me yet keeping a respective amount of distance between us. I decide to wait for Travis by the car since he wished to speak with me, before I went home.

Like I had experienced on my way from that place, a wave of nausea hits me, this time with a hint of dizziness.

" Are you alright Luna?" Cara's questioning makes both Evan and my driver, to look at me.

I nod, though I am anything but at this moment.

I see Travis come my way but I quickly turn away, rushing off to any unoccupied and hidden spot. Behind the closest tree I can find, without any warning, I throw up.

I literally throw up everything I ate and by the time I am done, I feel extremely drained.

" Here Luna." Cara says, handing me something to wipe my mouth and a bottle of water.

I receive it, mumbling a thank you and making sure that I face away from them until I take care of myself. Once done, I move away from there.

Reaching the rest of those who had been waiting for me, all I can see on their faces is concern. Deep concern.

" Catherine..." Travis comes closer.

He speaks before I can attempt to.

" I am going to say this now because I can't keep it in, like the rest have done. You are not well."

***********************************

Let me know your thoughts, I like hearing from you guys.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️❤️❤️❤️❤️