"The charity that is a trifle to us can be precious to others." -Homer

      Leo had been in Tartarus for one and half weeks when he heard that someone special was visiting the prison. He hoped the visit was short. He didn't want someone to come in and gawk at them as if they were zoo animals.

    "I hope it's not Johnny Cash again," Heracles, grumbled from across the cafeteria. "I didn't appreciate him singing about shooting a man."

    "Johnny Cash has been dead for over a decade," Nico said. 

    "Yeah Heracles, why don't you keep with every celebrity death?" Percy asked.

    "It's sort of hard to do when you're in prison," Heracles growled.

     Leo smiled. Percy's sarcasm had completely flown over Heracles's head. Leo had been afraid that prison would be too rough for him, but he soon learned that even the most brutal prisoners appreciated his jokes. In fact, it wasn't the hardened criminals who intimidated Leo so much as the white-collar criminals and rich businessmen. One woman, Circe, was in jail for human trafficking and everyone gave people like her a wide berth. Almost all of them had been abused in one or another and Leo had decided that someone who could hurt someone they loved was more cruel than someone who could kill a stranger.

     "Who is it?" Annabeth asked.

   "A man named Festus Fidelius," Kampe said sourly. "He's annoying."

    "Well, we better welcome him with open arms," Leo said. "I'll let him sleep on my cot and Jason can lend him some toilet paper."

    "Hey!" Jason protested. "That stuff is expensive!"

    "Ugh, he's here," Kampe growled as a smiling man was led into the room by two guards.

     He was not what Leo had expected. Well, Leo was not sure what he expected Festus to be like, but he had not expected or even thought that Festus might be a person in a dragon suit. The suit was bronze-colored and looked pretty spiffy, but it was quite strange to see someone who looked like he should be at a kindergartner's birthday party in a prison cafeteria.

     "Well, your lunch sure looks tasty!" Festus said.

    "What is this guy thinking?" Frank asked out loud. 

    "About as delicious as the dirt of Kur," Festus said. 

    "Is this guy supposed to be a stand-up comedian?" Clarisse asked, "because he looks ridiculous in his dragon suit."

    "Why, thank you miss," Festus said. "I come bearing gifts better than the Trojan Horse."

    Festus opened a black garbage bag and raised a bag of Fonzies into the air.

    "You get one!" he shouted as he threw it. "And you get one! And you get one!"

    Leo stood up and dived to the ground to get a bag of Fonzies.

    "You are kinder than Mother Teresa," Leo shouted as he scrambled to his feet.

     "Thank you," Festus said. "I'll be sure to talk to the Pope about making me the saint of delivering junk food to prisoners."

    "Okay, this visit is over!" Kampe hissed. "Festus, you violated our protocols!"

    "Come back sometime!" Leo shouted as Festus was led away.

    "I'll return," Festus promised. "I have to if I want to be canonized."