a r i a

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chrisschistad: "By heaven, I love thee better than myself"
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loglady99: If you loved her, you wouldn't have done what you did
therealsanabakkoush: What you did to her, was fucked

Sana to Russ Bus:

I swear to god, I'll beat up his pathetic ass

Noora to Russ Bus:

I'd gladly accompany you

Me:

Thanks guys, you're too good for me! I love you so so much! But you don't need to do that for me!

Vilde to Russ Bus:

Who's going to the party at Emma's tonight?

Sana to Russ Bus:

Seriously Vilde, that isn't important right now

Chris Berg to Russ Bus:

Can't, have fun for me!

Eva to Russ Bus:

I'm down!

Noora to Russ Bus:

Can't, nor do I even want to. So..

Sana to Russ Bus:

I guess I'll go. I mean, who else will be the life of the party.

Vilde to Russ Bus:

Cool! So just me, Eva and Sana so far. What about you Aria? Care to bless us with your presence?

Me:

I'll come. Where else could I get free liquor to drown my sorrows.

Vilde to Russ Bus:

Yay! See y'all later! We'll meet up and walk!

+

I sat on the couch, alone. Too bad Noora didn't come. Then I wouldn't have to sit alone. I suspected all my friends would leave me, seeing I'm not much of a 'party animal'.

Sana:

Need company?

Me:

Nei, I'm good alone.

Sana:

You're sure? I can leave these people I'm with.

Me:

I'm sure, have fun Sana. I'll survive the night.

I turned off my phone and grabbed my drink. I looked down into the cup, was I really going to resort to this? To getting blindly drunk? So drunk I couldn't even remember my name? Even better, remember who the fuck Christoffer Schistad was. That seems too good to be true.

I lift up my head and look around. Somewhere in the crowd, I find Christoffer. His eyes lock with mine. We stare at one another for a minute, and I'm the one to break our contact. I bring my eyes back to my drink and immediately down the whole thing. I guess I am going to resort to this, I think as I stand up to go refill my cup.

I don't even leave the table with the alcohol, I continuously fill up my cup and drink it. Once again, I find Chris. But he isn't alone. He's with a girl. They're making out. Theres no doubt in my mind that they'll do more than just hook up.

It hurt seeing them, so clearly I hadn't drank enough. As I continue to drink I continue asking myself questions. Ones that only make me feel worse. Had he moved on so quickly? How had he moved on so quickly? Was that the girl? Am I jealous? Am I even aloud to be jealous anymore? Why am I upset? Are you really getting drunk because of some boy? A boy who a year ago, you hated. You're such a fucking cliche. You're just as bad as every other Norwegian girl to hook up with him. Yet you're even worse than them. You're even more naive, and even stupider.

I had lost count of how many drinks I had. I was surprised with myself. Hell, Isak Valtersen even saw me and gave me a look that said, 'what the fuck are you doing?'.

I decided I had enough and walked out of the crowded house. Not really walked, but stumbled my way out.

As well as stumbling my way back to my apartment.

Where I spent the rest of the night questioning who I had become.