twenty-one.

As soon as I'm safely buckled in to Sam's car, he starts the engine and drives quickly without a word. "Where are we going?" I ask, but he just looks at me and smiles without saying anything. I decide not to pursue the topic further and allow myself to be surprised. Normally, I don't like surprises, but I'm sure if it's coming from Sam, it can't be bad.

Sam takes me to our city park and unveils a picnic that he packed, to my surprise. He grabs a blanket from his trunk and we head to a secluded spot on the field, away from all of the squealing, blissful children and happy, tail-wagging dogs running around on the grass. We spread out the blanket in a shady spot under the trees, though the sun is still facing us through the trees so we're not cold. The sun's rays leave patches of bright light on the blanket and I giggle as I observe a sunlit, polka-dotted Sam. "This is so nice, Sam," I say, mainly because it's true but also to break the silence.

He merely grins as he unpacks the food he brought. I can't help but laugh as he takes out two Starbucks cups of iced coffee. They were in a cooler, so they're still cold. I take a sip and watch as he takes everything else out. I can't help but smile widely as I observe various kinds of delicious-looking foods, ranging from cold sandwiches, pastas, salads, and other lunch foods. I peek into a separate cooler and see two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream and frozen chocolate-covered strawberries, two of my most favorite desserts. It surprises me that he remembered, since I've only told him once. I can't believe he did all of this for me on a whim for no special occasion, and I tell him so. He laughs. "Well, why wouldn't I? For the most beautiful, kindest, smartest girl in the world, I would do anything."

I look around with a smile on my face. "Where is she?" I ask jokingly.

He rolls his eyes and grabs me by the waist. "In my arms. Right here," he whispers as he leans down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and kiss him back. He is truly a dream come true. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I could let myself fall for somebody like Sam, never mind the idea that said boy would actually like me back. Somebody as kind and strong and caring as Sam West, who has imperfections and flaws that only make him more beautiful than anything in my eyes.

We sit down and start to eat, me laughing at the entertaining stories that Sam tells me. I munch happily at everything with no adherence to etiquette, and Sam mirrors my actions right next to me. By the end of it all, we've somehow managed to have eaten all the food and my once-famished stomach is now full and replenished. I have never been happier and more satisfied with my life.

Sam drives me home towards the evening. We talk about anything and everything we think of and get to know the things about each other that we have yet to brush upon. I find it funny that the things that are still hidden between us are the simplest facts, such as our favorite foods or colors. I learn that Sam's favorite music is by a band that I used to like, and that he loves alternative rock. He tells me that his favorite color is blue and that his favorite movie is The Breakfast Club. When I tell him I've never seen it, he's more than appalled and hilariously outraged and vows to watch it with me next Friday for our next after-school date.

The days are brighter than they have ever been.

School is more interesting now that Jared is here to make me laugh during class. Before, I kept to myself in the classes that I didn't have with Greyson or Ali, but by some stroke of dumb luck or sheer fate, Jared is in all of the classes that I've spent alone, as well as in the one we all share. We partner up for projects and assignments often, and I soon find that he's a good worker—he's always on task and I never end up having to pick up the slack and do his part, a first for me when it comes to group projects.

On the fifth date with Sam, in which we are simply Netflix-and-chilling, he turns to me and I look up at him as he talks. "So, Lisa, next week, I was thinking. Maybe we should do like a group date with all of your friends. Like Ali, Greyson. Oh, and bring that Jared too," he adds, almost like it's an afterthought. I'm confused. I thought he wanted Fridays to be our thing. At the look on my face, he laughs. "Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to. It might be a good idea for your friends to actually meet me. And get to know me. Well, obviously I already know Grey but it would be weird to not invite him and—"

"Shhh," I cut him off from his rambling and place a finger over his lips. "I get it and I think that it sounds like a great idea." He grins and I am happy as well just thinking about Sam officially meeting and hanging out with my friends. Even Jared.

He pushes the spacebar on my laptop and we continue watching the show we've been struggling to finish, mainly because I keep falling asleep from exhaustion. I'm not as invested in the show as Sam, though everybody else in the world around me seems to be obsessed, but it's not a boring show. We're currently in the middle of the second season, and I'm confused. I spaced out for a bit in the first season and I don't even know what's going on.

"So that's El's mom?" I ask, pointing to the screen. Sam nods wordlessly, his eyes fixated on the show. I sigh to myself but keep watching. It's a fairly good depiction of what it must be like to have a parent like El's mom and I can't help but be amazed by the filmography. I get more hooked on the lighting and music and angles instead of the actual show and find that the episode is over and I didn't truly see a single thing that occurred, plot-wise. Sam looks over and motions to the screen.

"Another episode? Or do you want to watch something else?" Although I don't want to seem rude, I'm honestly much more interested in watching some rom com or teenage drama than this. Maybe a vampire drama, though I don't quite know how Sam would feel about that. He seems to notice my reluctance to watch another episode and exits out of the show. As we browse for another show, he jolts next to me suddenly and I turn to look at him, worried.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

He nods, grinning sheepishly. "Yeah, I just didn't realize how late it was. Sorry, I have to go. I know you wanted to watch a different show but we can do it next time." He smiles.

I grin. He knows me too well. I didn't even have to tell him that I wanted to start something new. He kisses me briefly before leaving, and I can't help but miss him a few seconds after he has walked out of the door. Our time together seems too short, and I can't deal with the fact that I'll have to wait for an incredibly long time before I can see him again, since he'll be busy the whole weekend. A day is already too long.

I sigh. When did I become this girl, the one whose life centers around her boyfriend and who becomes depressed whenever she's not with him? I guess it's when I actually got a boyfriend in the first place.

Before I can dwell any more on the level of pathetic that my life has reached, I hear a ping and pick up my phone, smiling when I see that it's Jared who texted me. I open up the message and grin.

hey, wanna get some ice cream?

I respond quickly with the affirmative option and hurry to get dressed. As I pick out a suitable outfit, I can't help but stop and marvel at myself and the girl I'm becoming. Before, I would never have been able to receive a text, respond within seconds, and get ready to go out to meet somebody who I really only barely know. It's a new version of myself, and I'm more than pleased with it. I pull on a simple outfit, and, after a long and strenuous conversation with my mother, win back control of my car for the day. After she realized all of the stress and utter emotional baggage that I was carrying around, she decided that I was to have no access to the car or to any other machine that I might possibly use to run myself off of a bridge or something.

I drive quickly to the ice cream parlor that Jared suggested—somehow he knew about the place beforehand or he looked it up online—and parked in front. After taking a deep breath, I got out of the car and walked inside of the cool space, smiling a little as a breath of air hit my face. Walking up to the counter, I order myself a cone with a scoop of strawberry ice cream, wanting a change from the mint that I usually get, and take a seat at one of the nearby little tables. Jared obviously isn't here yet, and I content myself with licking my ice cream cone.

The little bell above the door chimes suddenly, and I look up from my phone and smile widely. "Hey!" I say, waving him over. He sees me and smiles as well, though it lessens as he sees me with my ice cream.

He gestures to it. "I was actually hoping to buy you one of those," he said with a small frown on his face. I wave him off.

"It's fine, it barely cost me anything," I say, hoping it's enough. I get the vague sense that he might have thought that this was something more than a friendly meeting like I thought it was, and it's making me uncomfortable. He doesn't really know about Sam, only that I have a boyfriend who goes to a different school. I wait as he orders himself a cone and comes to sit at the chair across from me. He clears his throat after an awkward second of silence and I look up at him, ready to hear what he has to say.

"Hey, so, I was just wondering... since I'm new around town, maybe you could show me around sometime? Introduce me to all of your favorite spots and show me where all of the cool places to hang out is," he says. I stare at him, unsure of what to think. What does he mean by this? Does he know that we're only friends or does he think otherwise?

I decide to test him a bit to see where he stands with this proposition. "Sure! Do you mind if my boyfriend, Sam, comes along, too? He knows a lot more about the city than I do. You know, he spends a lot of time around these parts."

"And you don't?" Jared asks curiously. He doesn't mention or refer to Sam at all, and that fact is slightly worrisome.

"Not really, no. I've always been a bit of an introvert, you know. I barely used to ever leave the house!" I say lightheartedly, though there's much more to that than he can know. He nods slowly.

"Sure, you can invite Sam along," he says finally. I just smile. His expression doesn't change and I sit there, unsure of what to say next. He gestures to me. "So are you gonna call him, or..."

I startle. "Oh! No! He's actually busy today. I thought you were thinking of doing this another day," I say. "I'm not really ready to go walking right now," I say, gesturing to my casual outfit that's not suitable for long distances. He just nods, and looks away finally. I decide I need to say something to break this awkward silence. It's strange; it's never like this at school with Jared. "Did you want to... you know, talk about something?" I ask tentatively.

He turns back to me. "Yeah, sure. What is your favorite thing to do around this city, anyway? You could tell me as like a preview to the tour or something," he says.

"Oh, sure," I say, while desperately racking my brain for something interesting to say. I don't want to appear boring or as if I have no life, even though those things are very true. The only things that pop up are the places I've been to with Sam, and as much as I would like to share those, they seem to only be interesting to a young couple in love. "Um, this isn't like an everyday thing, but we have a huge theatre down the street where we have big concerts sometimes," I say, mustering a smile.

He nods. "Wow, that's cool. I've never been to a concert, have you?"

I shrug. "A few, maybe one or two." Not counting the one I went to with Sam, I've only ever been to one other concert: Luke's. But I'm not going to say that, mainly because of the connection that it holds with Jared especially, but also because of how personal it is to me. Even Sam doesn't know the details of it.

"Maybe we could go to one together sometime," Jared says, bringing me back to the present. "If you want," he adds.

I smile tightly at him. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable in this situation but I don't have the words to speak up, so I just sit, mute. I curse myself for being so socially awkward and find myself wishing that Sam was here to help me. I look down at my phone, tempted to text him, but he's at work and I don't want him to worry for no reason. Jared is just being friendly, that's all, I reassure myself.

Jared clears his throat and I look up quickly. "I'm sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable," he says guiltily. "I'm a strange person and I don't always know how to deal with certain situations that involve other people. I didn't mean anything by it. I get that you have a boyfriend and I'm sure he's great, and I'm only looking to be your friend," he says before adding, "that's it, truly."

I smile at him again, this time a genuine expression, more than relieved to know his intentions. "It's okay, I totally get where you're coming from. It's hard to navigate what to say to other people, especially when you put two relatively quiet people together." He nods and I feel a sense of relief that he has the best intentions for this relationship.

He stands suddenly. "It's getting late," he says. I look at my phone and realize that it is, indeed, getting late. We must have been here longer than I thought. "So... tomorrow? Is that a good time for you?" I must look confused because he laughs and clarifies, "For the tour thing?"

"Oh!" I say, my eyes widening in recognition. "I'm so dumb, ha. I'll have to check with Sam, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Is noon okay with you?"

He thinks for a second before nodding with a smile on his face. "Yeah, sounds good." We say our goodbyes and part ways, and as I drive home, I realize how much easier it was to make a friend with Jared than it was with Greyson. Maybe I am changing, becoming a more outgoing person, though I am by no means less awkward when it comes to social situations as I have proven to myself today.

When I get back home, I call Sam and ask him if he's available the next day, to which he responds in the affirmative and agrees to the plan that Jared and I made. His tone of voice implies that something is wrong, but when I question him further, he tells me it's nothing and not to worry.

The next day, I wake up earlier than usual in order to have a head start on the day. I wash up quickly and spend a lengthy amount of time trying to coordinate a suitable outfit for walking long distances as well as one that will make Sam notice me. Not that he doesn't, but it would be nice to surprise him once in a while with something different from my usual style. I decide on ripped white straight jeans and a black mesh top with a white camisole underneath that I haven't worn because I always found it to be too revealing. I pair it with comfortable Converse sneakers and put my hair up into a high ponytail, tied up with a lavender velvet scrunchie that I find on my vanity. For makeup, I put on a minimal amount because it's hot and I don't want it to all start melting off in the middle of the day.

When Sam comes to pick me up, I'm eating a quick breakfast of strawberry yogurt with granola at the counter. I answer the door with a bright smile on my face, already happy at the thought of Sam being here again. He grins back at me and surveys my outfit. I watch as his happy expression changes to one of thinly-veiled anger and resentment, not the one of approval that I was hoping for, as he takes in my hard work.

"You really dressed up" is all he says, and I can't help but gape at the harsh tone in which he says the simple words.

"Yeah, I really tried today," I say, trying to muster a smile though his expression makes me want to do otherwise. I'm more than confused by his reaction. I thought he would be pleased. "I thought I would because I wanted—"

"To look good for him, I get it," Sam cuts me off. I stare at him in shock and confusion as he goes on. "I understand, Lisa. He's a new boy, and you want to make a good impression on him. It's perfectly fine with me."

I can't seem to find my words fast enough as I try to decipher what he said and come up with a response. "What?" is all I manage to say.

He sighs and takes a deep breath, shaking his head as if to change the subject. "Are you almost ready to go?" he asks, as if the past five minutes didn't just happen and he didn't make me feel this surge of confusion, surprise, and anger. I stare at him, shocked into a state of muteness that reminds me of the old version of myself, and turn around to finish my food without a word.

"Lee—" he starts to say and I whirl around.

"What?" I can't keep the anger and bite out of my voice and I watch as he recoils so sharply, it's almost as if I slapped him.

"I didn't mean to make you angry," he says slowly, holding his hands out. "I was just... surprised with your choice of outfit for Jared. I'm sorry if that made you mad." So he was surprised, just not in the way that I had hoped he would be.

I can't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Do you really think that low of me?" I ask. He looks confused and opens his mouth but I cut him off before he can get a word out. "I put all of this together for you, Sam. Not Jared. I can't believe that you would think that I would wear something like this, something that you know I'm not the most comfortable in, for a complete stranger! You're my boyfriend, and I love you. I thought you would like it, I thought you would be surprised by the effort that I put in for you." I stare at him in awe as he processes the words. Aliyah told me that boys are dumb, but I never expected anybody to be this dense, especially not my Sam. "I thought maybe you would pay me a compliment or something, I don't know." It sounds so stupid now.

His mouth falls open in apology and guilt. "Lee, I thought... I don't know what I thought. I just assumed that you... never mind. I'm so sorry, Lisa. God, the thought of you trying this hard just to please me truly never occurred to me." He steps forward slowly, unsure of how I will react. When he gets closer to me, he takes my hands in his gently and kneels down just a bit so that he can comfortably look into my eyes. "You never have to try for me, Lisa. You could be wearing baggy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie with no makeup at all, and I would still think that you're the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen. I know how sappy this all sounds, but I've never said anything more true. And I don't just like what you're wearing today, I love it, just like I love you." He leans down to kiss me and I fall into him, grateful for his apology and feeling my heart swell with more love him than I have ever felt before after hearing his speech and testament of his love for me.

I am too forgiving of this boy, but I can't help it. There's just something about him that makes him feel genuinely guilty that makes me want to instantly forgive him.

I prepare him a bowl of yogurt and granola and we eat quickly before heading out. In his car, as he begins driving to the cafe where Jared texted us to meet him at, I turn to look at Sam's profile. I remember every line of his face, the curve of his cheekbone, the sharp slant of his nose, and the slight puffiness of his lips, and I can't help but marvel for the rest of the ride about how lucky I am to have this overly beautiful boy all to myself.

******

When we get to the cafe that Jared suggested, Sam stops the car and lets out a breath. He looks over and smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back. It's as if his pure happiness is infectious and we walk hand in hand into the restaurant, matching smiles mirroring each other on our faces.

"Hey!" Jared waves us over and we walk over there, still beaming at each other. Jared stands and reaches out to shake Sam's hand. "Hi, I'm Jared, Lisa's friend from school."

Sam inconspicuously scans him over and nods imperceptibly, to which I smile at his deft form of approval. "Hey, I'm Sam, Lisa's boyfriend." Jared doesn't react to the word, and I breathe out of a small sigh of relief. It wasn't until right now that I was completely sure of Jared's solely-friendly intentions with me and I've never been happier.

We head out once Sam decides to show him the theatre first, after a moment's deliberation of where the best places in our town are for new people. Jared follows behind us in his car as Sam drives steadily to the theatre and I wrap my hand in his free one. He glances at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road, a small silent smile appearing on his face.

"He seems nice," he says, as a way of making conversations. "Not as bad as I expected." I grin, glad that Jared has gotten my boyfriend's approval. It makes things a lot easier to not have to worry about my friend and my boyfriend hating each other and getting into arguments or even fights. Although I can't imagine Sam physically hurting anybody.

"I'm so glad," I say finally. "I had hoped that you wouldn't hate him," I say, smiling. "It definitely gives me peace of mind."

"Then I'm happy too, now that I know that you're happy." His grin fades. "But if he does anything to you, or says anything to you, you tell me, okay?"

I nod. "Of course. I won't keep things like that from you ever."

"Good." He nods in approval and satisfaction and I grin at him.

We arrive at the theatre and spend a long while mulling over everything and exploring the different areas. We have everything packed into this one building: a sports stadium, concert venue, amphitheater, or general assembly hall. Sam is more than amused at the awed looks that Jared makes as he takes everything in, and even I find it hard to stifle a bout of laughter as he gawks at the rather large disco ball that hangs down from the roof for parties and decade-themed events.

After the theatre, we visit town hall, the library, the local park and playground, Sam's high school, the best restaurant in town, the most expensive restaurant in town, and all of the small historical landmarks of our city. We go past the community center, the fairgrounds where our next county fair will be held in a couple of weeks, and all of the other worth-mentioning areas of our town. Finally, we head to a well-known diner and eat a hearty meal of burgers, french fries, and milkshakes.

Jared shakes his head, pausing for a moment to swallow a mouthful of burger before speaking. "For a small town, you guys certainly have a lot of places to check out."

I laugh. "After a while, it gets pretty boring, if you ask me. There isn't much for teenagers to do around here and that's pretty annoying. Plus, with the police station in the middle of the town, it makes it hard to get away with teenage things in most parts of the city. Not that I would ever participate in things like graffiti and whatever, but still."

Jared wiggles his eyebrows. "Oh? Girl like you? I'm sure you're a rebel at heart, but you just don't want to admit it."

I shake my head. "Nope. Sorry, you must have the wrong girl or something." But there's a smile on my face at the thought of ever being a 'rebel' like Jared referred to.

Jared says lazily, "You make me laugh, Lisa, and I like that." He doesn't say anything after that and both Sam and I stare at him, confused as to what he meant by that. My heartbeat starts to quicken as I think about my boyfriend sitting next to me, and I turn inwards to face him just a little. Sam must conclude that the meaning behind Jared's words couldn't have been anything good and I feel his arm tighten around my waist just the slightest.

Although I can't help but feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable with Jared's words, it also makes me happy to know that there's somebody in town who doesn't know the old me, the real me. Somebody who won't judge me for who I used to be before Sam and before everything. Somebody who only knows the bigger and brighter version of myself that I have grown to become with the help of the boy sitting next to me.

"Wow, this is an awkward silence." Jared laughs just a little and the uncomfortable tension that had befallen our table is suddenly broken. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. I sometimes don't know what to say or when to say it. I apologize if it made you uncomfortable."

Sam just nods tightly and I smile a bit. "It's fine, I can definitely understand what you mean." As I say the words, I can't help but feel like this is a repeat of yesterday at the ice cream parlor and the sense of deja vu befalls me. Maybe I'm defending this boy too much, but he seems genuine, and besides, who am I to judge a socially-awkward person when I am one myself?

After we all finish eating and split the bill—after a very heated argument between Jared and Sam in which I try to participate but am completely ignored—we head out. We say our goodbyes and Jared leaves first. As Sam drives me home, he reaches over and lays his hand on my lap lightly, not in a possessive or uncomfortable way, but more as a cute symbol of his feelings for me.

When Sam reaches my house, he gets out of the car and walks me to my front door. It's late, almost ten o'clock, but I can see the light of my mother's bedroom on through the upstairs window, as if she's been waiting up for me. I turn to Sam and gently kiss him as a goodbye. He kisses me back deeper and I can't help but want to fall into his arms. I don't want him to leave but he finally breaks away, much to my resentment.

"Bye, Lisa," he whispers, our foreheads touching.

"Bye, Sam," I whisper back, though those are the last words I want to say right now.

I watch as he pulls away from me after a lingering touch, walks down the driveway, opens his car door, turns on the engine, and pulls away until his back lights are the last thing engrained in my memory of today as I head inside to the safety of my bedroom.

filler chapter!

malaynaturally xxx