ENID

I didn't reply his message. I sat quietly on my own on the bus ride home. I didn't exactly know what to do in that situation seeing as I had never felt something for a guy like that. I decided to text Addi.

'Hey, something big just happened!'

She sent a reply immediately and we started conversing about what happened. Soon it was time for me to get off the bus. I walked on the pavement to the apartment as I recalled my day. Apart from the panic attack, I probably had a good day. I stood in front of the door and stared at it. The lights were on meaning they were back home already. I rubbed my hands together because it was really cold. I sighed as I twisted the doorknob and stepped into the house. They were in the living room watching a Christmas movie like they did every December 20th. I rolled my eyes as I made my way to my room. Mother cleared her throat and said. "Enid, where are you coming from?" 

I stopped in my tracks and turned to reply to her. I didn't usually hold my tongue, blurting out what comes to my head first but this time, I took my time to process an answer. "So, you might want to pause what you're watching for a while," I said as I took a seat on the bean bag. I crossed my legs and stared at her. She was reluctant to pause it but I guess she wanted to hear what I had to say. 

"So, yeah last year we spent Christmas here obviously. That's like a tradition at the moment. I don't know why." I started to rant. " Last year, I made a friend, Jenny. So yeah we talked throughout the holiday and we broke apart. When y'all ditched me yesterday at my Grandparent's house, I went to a cafe' and we crossed paths. So yeah, y'all left me at home today too and I decided to call Jenny but after calling Addi. Ah, shouldn't have said that." I placed my hand on the floor as I twisted my body. 

"I called Jenny and she invited me over and I went. So yeah, recap done!" I said as I stood up and continued on my journey to my room. I was really looking forward to a refreshing hot shower and laying on my comfy but squeaky bed. This time, it was my father that stopped me. "And who said you could go out?" I stopped and I couldn't answer. I didn't exactly know what to say at that moment.

"I guess I can say that she needed some company?" Esme added. I snapped my gaze to her and I was really confused. She has never helped me when Mother and Father were confronting me. Why was she helping me now? I glared at her because she made matters worse. "Company? She doesn't need any company, Esme. And talk to your sister. You weren't like this when you were her age." 

Did he just compare me to Esme?

"Are you comparing me to Esme? Well, spoiler alert. I'm really different from her. I'm not perfect like she is. I don't have a British accent. And most importantly, you don't love me as much as you love Esme." I retorted. I could feel tears prickling at my eyes but I willed them away. I couldn't cry again. I made my way to my room once more and collapsed on my bed. I was too weak to get out of my clothes. I was in pain. There was that dull ache in me. The long to be loved. I got overwhelmed and finally, the tears broke out.

<>

I found myself sprawled on my bed the next morning. Dried tears stained my bedspread and my cheeks. My face and eyes were all puffed up. I was furious at myself for breaking down last night. I looked at my reflection as I brushed my teeth and all of a sudden the events at Jenny's house flooded my mind. I looked at my phone which stood on my dresser. I wasn't allowed to use a phone. Only Esme is aware that I had one. 

I didn't respond to his text. Something in me propelled me to do so. I picked up my phone and opened his message. I read it again and I could feel the same fuzzy feeling in my stomach. All of a sudden, it was as if my head was blank. I had no idea what to reply. I couldn't exactly say thank you. It would be weird. I smiled when the light bulb in my head went on.

Compliment accepted.

I clicked send and I closed my phone. Hopefully, he would reply. I walked to my bathroom to have my bath. I walked out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around me tightly. I got some sportswear when I was out shopping with Esme. I needed to work out one of these days. I sighed as I got dressed for a boring day at home so I wore comfy clothes. 

I checked my phone and he still hadn't replied. That really discouraged me and different thoughts swarmed through my head. I didn't want to waste my time on something unproductive so I closed my phone and went to get breakfast. I wore my usual comfy slippers and headed downstairs where I met Esme binge-watching a series on Netflix. It seemed as if she just started it and she saw me as I got downstairs. She paused it immediately and rushed to me. "Enid! You have to binge-watch this with me." She exclaimed as I poured the cereal into the bowl. 

She frowned at me cause she always put the milk first. Who does that? Nevertheless, I agreed to binge-watch with her because I had already accepted that he wasn't going to reply. I was on the umpteenth spoon of my cereal and about 25 minutes into the first episode when I felt my phone vibrate. My heart skipped a beat.