Brendon sits in his cubicle once more. As far as he could tell, he was overreacting about the situation completely. As far as he could tell, no one was talking about him or glancing his way. As far as he could tell, everything is fine.

He's so thankful.

He's in a good mood, there's maybe even a smile on his face as he finishes a days amount of work he missed.

Brendon hasn't seen Debby yet, he's been here for a few hours now.

He knows he'll most definitely see her in the break room, and he's dreading it. He wasn't sure how far Debby will take this, he's hoping she can look past his faults and forgive him.

But is he really the one to apologize?

Brendon's not sure. He never is.

He tries not to think about it. The whole floor is filled with fingers on keyboards as usual, he's glad to be back no matter how much he hated it here. Yes, he enjoyed having time for himself, but you can only do nothing for so long before it becomes tiring. Having something to do helped him stay in check, and he needs it no matter how much he says he doesn't.

Everyone needs a routine.

Brendon's routine has been changing recently, though.

The days were still dreadful, that definitely hadn't changed, but he finally had something that helped him push through.

Josh sending him pictures of his coffee and talking about the little things Tyler did brought his spirits up and helped him remember there is good things in life even if he couldn't see it.

Josh was all around a kind spirit, Brendon has come to learn. He gained a lot more respect for him after the phone call the two of them had the other day. That medolic tone and free mentality settled easily, he helped Brendon a lot and he couldn't appreciate him more.

Though, even with all the good, Brendon's terrified.

Maybe it's selfish, he didn't know.

"Hey, Brendon." Someone clears their throat behind him.

He turns in his chair with raised brows. "Oh, hey, Lukas." His lips twitch. He's bad at conversing.

Lukas smiles just as awkwardly. They're awkward. He's holding a mug with steam coming from the inside, Brendon would kill for some coffee right now.

"Um, I was just wondering if you wanted to eat at break with me." He shrugs.

The two of them are staring at each other while Brendon tries to muster up enough voice to reply. He wonders whether or not he's only asking because Debby's been talking. Has she been talking? Brendon still didn't know.

"O-okay, yeah." He nods, looking at his watch. "Oh, wow, I should have been in there ten minutes ago."

Brendon stands, a pang in his chest.

Lukas smiles even bigger, cocking his neck to the side as a question.

Brendon nods again.

They walk side by side, Lukas sipping his coffee while Brendon stares at his feet. Why have people taken an interest in him all of a sudden?

Other employees look up from their computers and watch the two make their way to the break room. Whispering, glaring, judging. Either Brendon was too caught up in his own head or Debby really was running her damn mouth all around the office.

Great.

Exactly what he needed, right?

It wasn't as though he didn't have enough things to worry about.

Brendon sighs, him and Lukas now in the break room.

There's other coworkers in here as usual, giggling and smiling together, as usual. Brendon never smiles when he's in this room; it's lonesome. Even when Debby sat with him, he was lonesome. He guessed that just because you have someone there doesn't mean you're not able to be alone.

He definitely was.

By the time the two of them are settled at one of the small tables, Lukas has Cup 'O Noodles heated and Brendon grabs his salad from the refrigerator.

What does it take for him to have enough courage to start a conversation?

Lukas doesn't seem like he is going to, and god forbid they sit in silence chewing their food until they go back to work.

"So, um," Brendon stabs at another cherry tomato. "Why did you want to sit with me?"

Lukas shrugs, eating a mouthful of noodles.

That's not enough.

Brendon bites down on his lip, scratching his wrist. "Did. . . Did Debby say something to you?"

That got a reaction, Lukas stops leaning into his food and licks his lips. His brows furrow. "Debby? I mean, no, she doesn't talk to me. No one does, really. I'm new." He shakes his head to himself. "What would she have said, anyways?"

Brendon frowns.

"Well," he sighs. "Nevermind. It's not important."

"You can tell me. Seeing how you were the day before yesterday, it's probably best if you talk about it." Lukas says, noodles almost gone.

"You saw that?" Brendon's frown hurts.

"I think everyone saw that." He replies, honestly.

That's embarrasing.

Of course he knew people saw, he was in tears practically running across the cubicles to get to the bathroom. There was nothing subtle about that, he just didn't think many people saw him at his all time low.

"People have their days. It's okay." Lukas says, eyes warm enough. "What about Debby now?"

Brendon exhales. "We became friends, and she convinced me to download Tinder because I seemed lonely. I don't know, but I did." He doesn't open up to people, especially this soon. He's not sure he can stomach anymore food because of how much it's turning so he pushes his salad away. "And I mean, I've been talking to someone who's really nice, and Debby got upset the other day and said I wasn't paying attention to her, because I wasn't. I was texting."

Clearing his throat, he says, "She hasn't talked to me since."

He kept his voice down so the other employees couldn't hear, he didn't want them to tell Debby he was talking about her.

Where even was Debby anyways?

Lukas rolls his eyes. "She over-exaggerated a bit, don't you think?"

Brendon swallows. "I. . . Do you think so?"

"I mean. . . She made you download an app for dating, and got mad, because you're trying to date. . ." He says in a quizzical tone.

Another shrug.

"Whatever, that just seems stupid." Lukas is blatant, kind of like Josh. It's comforting in an odd way, because it takes a special person to use honesty as a positive and not a negative.

"I wasn't paying attention to her. I think that would hurt my feelings, too." Brendon doesn't want to be selfish, the fault should land on him.

"From what I've seen, Debby is pretty fucking conceited. She likes attention and since you didn't give it to her she had a fit. It's not your fault, alright?" He keeps quiet, getting the gist. Brendon seemed rather introverted, Luke is sure the last thing he wants is for people to know he has shit to say.

Brendon doesn't know what to believe.

"Um, alright, maybe."

"Not maybe."

He exhales. "I should get back to work. I have a lot to do."

Brendon stands, throwing the rest of his salad away. He feels bad for wasting it but his stomach is aching.

"Don't beat yourself up too much. I think you're nice." Lukas mumbles.

Brendon purses his lips and smiles, nodding shakily. "You're nice too, Lukas, thanks." He says while making his way out of the break room.

"You can call me Luke. Lukas sounds too formal."

Brendon chuckles. "Okay."

***

Brendon didn't see Debby all day. Was she really avoiding him that much?

He didn't see any of the Ryan's, really. He wonders whether or not they're all avoiding him, because that would only make sense. The three of them were stuck together like glue, it wouldn't be a surprise if Debby told them what happened, or even exaggerated the story so they would take her side.

Not that they would ever take Brendon's.

It didn't matter, he reminds himself as he watches his clothes spin in circles at the laundromat.

He's been meaning to wash his clothes for a long time now, if he's not wearing his normal attire for work then he was wearing a hoodie and sweats he hadn't washed in weeks.

It was gross, he's gross.

That leads him to think about Friday. It's so soon.

Is he ready to expose himself for two people who would like to say their common interest is him?

He still wasn't sure where they're meeting or what time, he needs to call Josh.

The two of them called yesterday, and Josh talked about another photshoot he was doing for a family, and how much fun he was having with it. The couple had a few little ones who liked Josh's tattoos and it made him happy. Brendon wants to see his tattoos in person, he bets they're a lot nicer that way.

Brendon has always wanted a tattoo but has never had the guts to go out and do it.

What would he get anyways?

Brendon sighs, looking away from his laundry and down at his phone.

Talking to Josh has been nice, Brendon was just trying to get used to his voice before Friday arrives.

He's careful when blinking, time flies by so fast.

His Adams apple bobs as he presses on Josh's contact. He never said he was going to call, but Josh did tell him he can call whenever he'd like, so he presses the call button.

It's ringing, and ringing.

Brendon hopes he isn't calling at the wrong time.

As always, he second guesses himself. Who is he to decide now is the time to ask questions? They can do that later, Josh is a busy man and he probably has more to do than talk to Brendon. He has a husband, he has a job, he has priorities. Brendon only has one of those three, he feels pathetic.

He is pathetic.

Josh doesn't answer the phone, Brendon clears his throat. It's okay.

The owner of the laundromat is beside him helping someone out, it's their first time here. Brendon, though, has been here a lot throughout the years. There's a pug who sits at the counter all day named Boots, even though only one of her feet was a different color. Even then, it looked more like a sock than a boot, but the name Socks doesn't work as well, does it.

She's a cutie, Brendon can't deny. She has a tongue so long that it can't fit in her mouth and she snorts when she wakes up from naps.

Brendon looks over at her, and she's looking back at him.

He smiles.

Just as he's about to sit up to pet her, his phone rings. It's Josh.

Brendon sighs in relief and answers.

"Uh, hey."

Josh breathes. "Hey, hey, sorry." Brendon shakes his head, he should be apologizing, not Josh. "What's up?"

"Oh, um, I was just thinking about Friday. Uh, you never said where or when we're meeting." Boots is staring at Brendon, maybe she's picking up on his nerves.

It's pretty easy to.

"Oh!" Josh exclaims. "Babe, we should go to Roscoe's." He's talking to Tyler.

Brendon's never been to Roscoe's. He can hear Tyler and Josh talking back and forth trying to agree on a place to meet.

"Yeah, is Roscoe's alright?"

"I've never been. . ."

"It's a coffee shop, a local one."

It's never a bad time for coffee. "Coffee sounds great." Coffee always sounds great, what is he saying? He's glad Josh likes coffee as much as he does, hopefully Tyler does too, he's not so sure.

"Awesome." Josh says. "Does noon work?"

"Noon is good." Josh could say anything and Brendon would say it's great. Because it is, isn't it? He's going to meet two people who want to meet him. They're not meeting him for their own needs-- that he knows of-- they're meeting him because they think Brendon could be the person they're looking for.

And just knowing that alone makes his heart swell.

"Cool." Josh sounds happy. "One second."

There's some rustling on the line, and before Brendon can ask anymore questions someone else speaks over him.

"Hey." It's Tyler.

Brendon's palms start to sweat, he bites his lip. "H-hi, Tyler."

"See you on Friday then, hmm?" They say, voice so monotone it makes Brendon's spine shiver. He shouldn't be this scared but he is. He shouldn't be scared at all, really.

He's so rude.

He chuckles nervously. "Yeah." His laundry stops turning, finally. It's time to go home now. "Um, hey, I gotta go. I'll see you guys on Friday."

"Alright. Bye, Brendon." And then another "Bye!" From Josh.

He nods. "Bye."

The call ends and by then his stomach is doing horrible things.

Brendon is pulling his laundry out and into the basket, he feels so hot even though it's freezing outside. If he's that nervous just hearing Tyler's voice how is he possibly going to get through Friday, where their eyes are going to be on him and he can see every move they make.

Fuck, is all he can think.

What would Josh think if he could hear Brendon's thoughts?

So terrified of his own husband solely because of personal issues.

Brendon sighs, lifting the basket. He tries to stop thinking about it, deciding not to stress until the day of.

It's right around the corner.