TRIGGER WARNINGS:

- Anxiety
- Trouble with food
- Sexual scenes
- Smut

***

Getting to spend a weekend again at the retirement home is somehow refreshing. Watching Family Feud with his mother brings Brendon back, because although he has grown immensely these past few months, he will forever have somewhere to be, and something to do. There's comfort holding Grace's hand. He can hold Tyler's, he can hold Josh's, and he can still hold hers as well, which is the best part of it.

One of Brendon's biggest worries is getting too caught up with his own life and forgetting about his mother's. Everyone in his family has done that-- he can't do it also. He won't let it happen.

So, any chance he gets to remind Grace he's here for her, he will. Brendon lets her ramble to him about random things she remembers from the past, and some of the stuff that has been taking place at the retirement home. He allows her to get agitated if he accidentally brings her the wrong snack. He allows her to ask him to take the blanket on and off every few minutes or so when she is either too hot or too cold.

He allows her to do whatever she wants, as long as he is there with her.

At lunch Saturday afternoon as well, he sits close to Grace and makes sure she eats her food, and ironically enough, Carina does the same with him. He has soup again, but this time, he finishes it.

Getting there. Small steps.

Brendon has a bite of Carina's dessert as well, and after the four of them are finished, they head upstairs to the game room as a mutual agreement. He and Carina set up a game of Pictionary for their mothers, and once doing that, they sit at another table to play Egyptian Ratscrew.

Brendon slaps the deck when he needs to, nothing much being said for the first few minutes, yet when he considers a conversation, there's only one thing eating away at him.

He looks to Carina. "Josh and Tyler asked me to spend their anniversary with them." He suddenly brings up, needing to tell her because he has no one else to confide to.

Carina blinks. "How do you feel about that?"

Brendon inhales, exhales, continues the game. "I don't know." He admits. "When they first asked it took me off guard because. . . Even though we are seeing each other, I didn't expect to spend a day like that with them." He huffs. "But when they explained that it would be weird for me not to be there at this point, I felt a lot more comfortable to agree to it."

Carina gives him a small smile, slapping the deck. "Do they have any plans you know about?"

Brendon shrugs; this is the part he struggles with. "I'm not sure." He discloses. "Josh told me they do the same thing every year. Just watch movies, eat, and. . . You know." He clears his throat, never actually talking about this kind of stuff with her. She knows his struggles with intimacy, she knows he's a virgin-- but nothing past that.

Carina hums, gauging his expression, trying to grasp the situation as best as she can. "Do you think they're going to try to do something with you?"

Easily, Brendon shakes his head. "No." He states. "They're not going to do anything unless I want to."

"So why are you worrying?"

Brendon's brows pull together. "I'm not worrying?"

Carina purses her lips. "I can tell you are."

Brendon exhales heavily, shoulders lifting for a moment. "I don't know." He gets out. "Ever since they told me that I can't stop. . . Thinking about it."

Carina frowns. "Are you worried they're going to try something anyways?"

Brendon is fast to shake his head. He knows Tyler and Josh wouldn't do that. "No." There's a pause. He's embarrassed by his thoughts; isn't he always? "I'm just worried. . . You know. . . That I'm going to want to do something."

Carina hums another time, sitting back as she places a card down. "If you want to do something, who cares? As long as you're comfortable, that's all that matters. I'm sure Tyler and Josh will be happy with whatever you choose to do. And they'll make sure you're good every step of the way."

"I know." He says. He has no doubts about them. "But I'm scared, because. . ." He doesn't finish.

Carina sets her cards down and reaches for his hand. "Brendon," she starts. "I know it's intimidating. Still, you shouldn't hold yourself back. If you want it, go for it-- you'll be okay. I promise you. Don't worry about the fact that you've never done anything like that before, because that's the exact train of thought that has created these problems. You limit yourself. You don't allow yourself to explore, and live. Experience."

Brendon nods, Adams apple bobbing. "I know," he mutters. "I-I was gonna say I'm scared because for the first time, I'm not worried about that. I. . . Feel good. Ready."

Carina smiles when hearing that, squeezing his hand. "That's awesome, Bren." She murmurs. "I told you, they're helping you in more ways than one. Even if it's in the sex department." She chuckles, and Brendon rolls his eyes, pushing her hand away with a small laugh.

Before either of them could say something else, his phone begins vibrating in his pocket. Brendon places his cards down just like Carina, fetching it out, and quickly becomes giddy when seeing it's Josh.

He answers with a careful grin. "Hey,"

Josh is sitting at the dining table, a sandwich and some chips sitting on the plate in front of him. "Hi, baby." He says, eyes squinted as he smiles himself. "I just wanted to call and see how you're doin'. I'm on a lunch break so I came home to eat and Tyler made me the best bologna sandwich ever." He looks past the camera and blows a kiss. Brendon knows it's to Tyler.

"It's been good." Brendon decides. "Carina and I are currently playing cards."

Josh's eyebrows lift. "Can she hear me?"

Brendon chuckles. "Yeah." He faces the camera to her and she waves.

"Hi, Carina!" Josh exclaims.

"Hi," she smiles.

When Brendon turns the camera back around, he watches Josh take a big bite of his sandwich, as well as seeing him reach out to get Tyler's attention. After a few seconds, they're walking over, sitting down on his lap.

"Hi, Bren." They utter.

"Hi, Ty."

"Coming over after work on Tuesday?" They wonder, already knowing the answer, yet asking simply to bring it up again.

Brendon nods. "I'll make my way over there once I'm off."

"Okay." Their fingers slip into Josh's hair, playing with it, making Brendon feel needy. God, he wants that so bad right now. "I'll see you then."

"Mhm," He gets out.

Josh gives a small smile. "I need to finish my lunch and get back so I'll talk to you later, babe." He brings up once Tyler finishes speaking. "I just wanted to check up on you."

"Okay," Brendon mumbles, the corner of his mouth upturned. "I'll talk to you later."

Josh nods, kissing the camera, and ending the call after that.

Immediately, as soon as Brendon slips his phone back into his pocket, Carina's laughing lightly. He sticks his bottom lip out, grabbing his stack of cards again. "What?"

She shrugs. "They're so into you. It's cute."

Brendon shakes his head. "Be quiet."

Carina places a card down, continuing the game. "Sorry, baby."

Brendon chuckles. "Shut up."

***

Sunday is just like Saturday, and by the time Brendon is hugging his mom goodbye, kissing the top of her head, and walking out of her apartment, he decides to visit Carina before leaving. He walks down a few halls until he gets to her mother's place, not bothering to knock since he has been through this time and time again.

When coming in, he passes by the bedroom and catches her mom asleep, and when he looks forward, he sees Carina on the balcony from the window.

Brendon places his bag down, going outside.

When the stench of weed hits his nose, he's a little surprised, but doesn't mind.

"You haven't smoked in a while," he mentions, sitting down on one of the uncuppied lawn chairs.

Carina shrugs, smiling. She's leaned back, staring out into the night, looking at the gleaming stars, listening to a cricket chirp. It's soothing, but cold, and Brendon trembles. "Lynn gave it to me. She told me I deserved it." She laughs.

Brendon takes into account that Carina's talking about her roommate, which she rarely does since she is so preoccupied at the retirement home. It's refreshing. Knowing they both have lives outside of this place, even though part of them are stuck here.

He hums, reaching his hand out without a word.

Carina hands him the joint easily.

After taking a hit, Brendon is wincing, because this is definitely not quality weed, but he won't mention it. "I've never met Lynn." He comments instead.

Carina shrugs another time. "Maybe one day." She says. "It's hard though, since we all have such crazy schedules. And it's Lynn. She's crazy in general."

Brendon chuckles, handing her the joint back. "What does that mean?"

Carina closes her eyes. "I love her to death, but god, she shares a little too much."

Brendon smiles at that. "That's how Tyler and Josh are." He states. "You gotta love it though, right?"

At this point, Tyler and Josh's shameless attitude and oversharing has become comforting. Brendon knows for a fact nothing will be kept from him, not a secret or detail, and it's reassuring. They speak without a filter, never guilty, brutally honest, and he's sure in some situations that's going to be their worst enemy, yet for now, it's a favor.

"Yep." She gets out, looking over to him. "Are you heading out?"

Brendon nods. "Yeah." He slowly stands up from the chair, shivering. "I just wanted to come say goodbye."

Carina nods with him. "Bye, Bren. Have fun at Tyler and Josh's on Tuesday." She brings up, mischevious, smirking slightly. "Stay safe. Keep me updated."

Brendon rolls his eyes, dismissing it completely. "I'll see you next weekend." He mutters, walking back into the apartment and closing the door before she could say anything else. He picks up his bag from the floor afterwards and with that, he's leaving, out of the retirement home, to his car.

Brendon drives to the apartment complex listening to the radio for a change. Classic rock, but still, it's different, and once he arrives to his destination, he makes sure to check the mail, shaking his head when going through all of it on his way up the stairs. And as he's unlocking the door, Hayley's opens, yet opposed to her or Jack coming out, it's the man who helped her move in when she first got here.

Chad, he thinks it might be.

Brendon finds himself wondering why he's here; maybe to pick up his son for the week-- though, Jack isn't with him.

He doesn't know.

It's none of his business either, so he walks into his apartment and closes the door, leaving it alone.

Brendon, immediately too, is taking out the clean clothes in his bag and heading to the bathroom. He very rarely showers at his mother's. It feels weird, awkward, he doesn't like it, so he settles for going two days without showering because it's not like he's a stranger to it anyways, sadly.

He undresses after leaving it to warm, taking off his glasses when they begin fogging up, and is slipping off his socks. The shower is needed. It's calming, giving him a space to zone out and breathe. There's a little buzz throughout his body from the joint, which only adds to the feeling.

Brendon rubs shampoo through his hair and smiles, thinking about the fact that he's going to be with Tyler and Josh before he knows it. Maybe he'll ask one of them to play with his hair before bed, or while they watch movies.

It's a good thought.

He misses them dearly. It's no secret. Brendon can't even lay in bed at this point without feeling as though something is missing-- Brendon can't shower now without missing them, if it isn't obvious. Why he thinks about them somewhere this vulnerable and obscene? He has no clue. But it won't stop; he has become comfortable with their presence, and when they're away, he feels it more than ever.

He has never really been attached to anyone enough to feel incomplete whenever he's not around them, yet when it comes to Tyler and Josh, he's beginning to understand what's it's like. Never wanting to let them go. Never wanting to stop hearing their voices.

It should be concerning, but Brendon is sure it's natural. Especially for him, who hasn't had this sort of connection for years.

So, he showers with Tyler and Josh on his mind, dries off with Tyler and Josh on his mind, gets dressed with Tyler and Josh on his mind, curls into bed with Tyler and Josh on his mind, and finally, sleeps with them on his mind. They're everywhere except physically.

And Brendon doesn't mind.

***

While getting dressed in the morning, Brendon quickly notices that he only has one clean button-up left to wear. It's this that makes him decide to head over to the laundromat once he gets back from work, because he has been delaying this for far too long. He simply gets distracted. Caught up with something else.

Procrastination is in his nature.

By the time he's at work and is sitting down at the desk, too, his shoulders are aching, which doesn't help the procrastination. It's hard to concentrate when your body truly only feels as though it is getting worse and worse each day-- he's not even sure any massage could help at this point. It's just continuous pain. Brendon thinks that it might be age finally catching up to him, but the longer he sits on it, the more he realizes that spending every week at a desk, hunched over, is killing him.

He should fix his posture, maybe.

He should suck it up, perhaps.

He should just get Tyler to rub his shoulders when he sees them tomorrow, definitely.

Brendon knows it's not going to solve the problem, but it will help, and he's sure Tyler would end up doing it on their own will if they catch him groaning every time he sits down and gets out of bed, anyways. They already have in the past.

Besides the pain though, Brendon pushes through it. He lets out a few gruff noise every now and then when he sits up straight after a while-- he's fine, despite that. He has dealt with it long enough to be able to endure this.

At lunch, he can barely stomach three bites of ramen. He's distracted, can barely take in a word anyone is saying, yet no one seems to notice. It's probably because Brendon is usually quiet. It's whatever. He thinks he hears Luke talk about wedding plans, and he's sure he hears Ryland talk about the weekend him and Shane had. It's not until he catches someone saying his name where he lifts his head and gauges everything.

"Yeah?" He gets out, swallowing thickly as he pushes his food away without much thought.

Ryan looks to him. "How was your weekend?"

Brendon shrugs, feeling every tension in his muscles. "It was fine."

He gets a hum in return. Everyone's eating, making his mind spin a bit. He's fine. He is. "Anything exciting happening?"

He shrugs once more. "I'm going to Tyler and Josh's tomorrow. It's their anniversary." Brendon doesn't exactly think much of it when it's said outloud, because they know about the situation. Luke, Ryan, Ryland-- they all know. Yet, an uneasy feeling settles in his stomach when he suddenly meets eyes with Debby and can see the confusion stirring.

Oh, shit.

She doesn't know.

Brendon wants to explain but it seems awkward. Maybe later. Maybe never. He's not entirely sure how Debby will react to the whole thing, and he's definitely not sure how comfortable he is telling her about it.

He supposes that's another thing he'll wait out. Another thing he'll procrastinate about.

"That'll be fun." Ryland decides, and Luke chuckles. Ryan nods along and Debby says nothing. Trying to grasp it without knowing. It's nervewracking to see.

Brendon simply nods. "Yeah." He utters, ending the conversation with that. Everyone else eventually carries on to something else, but he catches Debby glancing at him every so often. He has to brush it off. The longer he thinks about it, the more he comes to terms with the fact that he isn't comfortable telling her about his relationship with Tyler and Josh yet. It'll take time.

That's fine, anyways. He's allowed to take some time.

***

When Brendon gets back from work, he changes into the pajamas he wore last night and fills a couple of trash bags full of his dirty clothes. He slips his phone and wallet into his pocket before slinging both bags across his shoulders too, and holy shit, they're heavy. He struggles making it out the door, and has to set both bags down only to pick them right up again once locking the apartment.

He eventually makes it down the stairs, trembling, pathetically weak, but it's no surprise.

By the time he's packing both bags into the backseat and stands up, he jumps as he turns around, seeing Hayley. "Jesus-- hi." he sputters.

She chuckles. "You passed right by me." She states, taking a drag from a cigarette that's almost burnt out. It's weird. He's never seen her smoke one before.

Brendon blinks a few times, shoulders aching so badly he could tear up. "Sorry, I was really distracted with these stupid trash bags." He comments, then looks at the cigarette again, and it's staring right back at him. "I didn't know you smoke." He suddenly says.

Hayley shrugs, exhaling one last time before flicking the butt to the ground and crushing it with the heel of her shoe. "I do it sometimes. I don't know." Brendon watches the way her throat visibly tightens as she breathes in. She's tense. He can tell. "Anyways, what are you up to?" She looks at the bags in the back of his car. "Seems. . . Fun."

"I'm headed to the laundromat." He discloses. "So much fun."

Hayley smiles, nodding along. "Mind if I come?"

Brendon takes into account that Jack must not be with her, and he knows she gets lonely without him. Besides, he could use her company anyways. "Yeah." He agrees. "It might take a while, but."

Hayley purses her lips. "It's fine. I'll buy us dinner."

She really doesn't need to.

"Okay." Brendon murmurs despite this. He should eat, anyways. "Well, get in and let's go."

Hayley nods another time, walking around the car and taking a seat in the passenger's side. Once they're both buckled and pulled out of the parking space, Brendon turns on the radio, again. Mostly to kill any awkward silence that may have arise.

***

Brendon quickly comes to the conclusion that he shouldn't have prolonged his trip to the laundromat for all these months. Washing this many clothes takes ages. It took ages. By the time he and Hayley get out, the sky is pitch black with multiple stars to look at.

The two of them are tossing bags of freshly cleaned clothes in the back of the car afterwards. Once they do, Brendon's unlocking it and they both get in, soon buckled, but not making a move.

"Where do you wanna eat?" Hayley asks after a moment. They're both staring at the glowing neon lights in front of them, lining the windows and door.

It'd be a lot prettier of a sight if it wasn't a laundromat, Brendon thinks.

"You decide," he gets out.

"I'm craving a burger and fries." She utters, slowly turning to look at him. Her face is lit up by blues and purples.

The amount Brendon doesn't want a burger and fries right now is astounding, yet it's her money, and he'd rather her spend it on something she wants. So, he sits up straighter, a hand on the steering wheel as he nods.

"Sounds good."

Brendon only has to drive a few blocks to get to a small fast food chain that sells exactly what Hayley is looking for. He ends up ordering the same thing as her because he doesn't feel like trying to pretend he has a specific order, either, and the two of them sit down at a booth.

As he looks around, he notices there's only two other people in here, and it seems to be a father and his daughter. He looks back to Hayley after that, a Lady Gaga song playing quietly through a speaker hanging up. Brendon chuckles to himself.

"I miss Jack." Hayley says when she sees the toddler run to her dad after getting a gumball from the machine.

"Must be weird only having him every other week." Brendon murmurs.

"It is." She says. "I want him with me all the time, especially because he's still so young and has new experiences every day." She shrugs. "I'm his mom, you know. I want to be there for everything." Brendon can tell she needs company just as much as him when they're both away from their main sources of happiness. "I'm still trying to adjust to this. It's hard."

Brendon gauges her features, recognizing how much of a toll this is taking on her. "If I'm at the apartment complex whenever he's away, you're always free to come over, seriously." He picks at the dead skin around his fingernail. "I'm usually doing absolutely nothing except moping around until the next time I see Tyler and Josh." He admits.

Hayley chuckles in a small manner, the corner of her lips lifting up. "Thank you. That means a lot."

Brendon nods. "Of course."

The two of them lead into a casual conversation after that. Hayley talks about work, and Brendon does too. She tells him how being a waitress has its benefits, and its downfalls. That the tips are nice but the multiple customers a day treating her so disrespectfully (especially men, she adds) are the one thing she despises about it.

They get their food soon enough as well, and Hayley talks a little more while Brendon eats a few fries.

Only fries.

He doesn't touch the burger until about ten minutes later when Hayley is almost done eating. He still has practically the whole meal left, and he's trying to act as if not. He takes a bite of the cheeseburger and never looks at it again.

Brendon does eat many of the fries, though. They're good. And it's almost as if he can hear Tyler and Josh encouraging him to, at the very least, eat most of them. So he does.

Once he's finished with nearly all of them, he looks up at Hayley, who has finished everything and is now waiting for him.

"I'm done." He says.

The comparison between the two of their plates is laughable.

"Are you sure?" Hayley questions. "If you're still hungry, I can wait, Brendon. Jack's a slow eater sometimes, too. I'm used to it."

Brendon feels absolutely pathetic being compared to a child.

"I'm fine." He whispers. "I'll take it to-go."

"Alright."

There's silence. No movement.

"Are you gonna go ask for one, or. . ."

Brendon's Adam's apple bobs, knowing for a fact there's no way he could possibly go up and ask for a to-go box. He ordered himself, yeah, but now that he didn't finish his meal, the shame is too much for him to do nearly anything. It's embarrassing. He's a grown adult, he should be able to do this by now.

"Um. . ." He croaks out.

Hayley blinks, staring at him. "I could go get you one, if you want."

He should say no and push through it. He should.

But he doesn't.

Hayley's standing from the booth once the word 'please' leaves from his mouth. She goes up there and does it like nothing. Brendon wishes that was him.

Instead, he's scraping a few fries and a burger he knows he won't eat into a foam container. That's him. A liar. But he's come to terms with this a long time ago, so he isn't particularly bothered anymore.

By the time he and Hayley make it back to the apartment complex, she's helping him carry the two bags of clothes into his apartment. They toss it on his couch and Brendon is breathing far too hard for something as little as this, head spinning a bit, shoulders hurting a lot.

"Thanks," he utters once placing his to-go food in the fridge.

"No problem. Thanks for the little adventure." She laughs, tugging on her beanie. "I'll see you later, Brendon. Goodnight."

He nods. "Goodnight."

Once she leaves, Brendon locks the door behind her, and afterwards is putting his keys and wallet on the counter.

He drags his feet to the bedroom, deciding he'll deal with the trash bags of clothes some other time. He's far too tired to fold and put all of them away right now. The only thing on his mind is sleep.

As he's laying down and going to plug in his phone, he sees one unread message from Josh. He finds himself smiling because of this, especially when he reads the text.

I'll see you tomorrow, baby. I've missed you.

It seems as though Tyler and Josh think about him just as much as Brendon thinks about them, and that's what makes his smile so effortless.

I've missed you too. Can't wait. (:

Brendon turns his phone off after sending the message, pulling his blankets higher until they're at his chin. He's pretty sure he even falls asleep with a smile lingering on his face, but he can't help it. Tyler and Josh are one of the very few things that make him happy anymore.

***

Despite the ache throughout Brendon's entire body-- which he swears has worsened since yesterday-- he's in a great mood. His stomach rumbles as he walks in to work, but his heart swells knowing what's soon to come from today. His clothes smell overbearingly of laundry detergent and are crinkled in such a profound way, yet he's happy, unphased.

That changes slightly when he's walking into the elevator and in the corner of his eye while pressing the floor number, he sees Debby coming in.

She rushes over with a slight lift to her shoulders and an eagerness.

He knows exactly where this is going.

He knows.

"Hey," She murmurs. "Good morning."

Brendon smiles, all lip, heart racing as he watches the doors close, trapping him. He taps his fingers on the handle bar lining the entirety of the space as he waits. For something. Positive one will come sooner than the other.

Debby looks over to him finally, and when she does, that's when it begins. "Who were the people you were talking about yesterday?" She starts, right off. "Sorry, I just feel like I'm the only person who doesn't know who they are." She lets out an awkward laugh as Brendon's Adam's apple bobs.

He supposes he won't have as much time as he thought preparing to expose this to her.

He shakes his head subtly, once, turning to her.

"I'm really not comfortable sharing this with many people so please, please, keep this between the few of us." Brendon's practically begging her. He's sure Debby isn't in the state of mind where she'll use anything against him now, but that doesn't stop the anxiety from surrounding the situation.

"Of course, Brendon." She assures. It's sincere. He's aware she's trying her best with him, knowing full-well herself that she has made it rocky between them.

He nods, swallowing thickly. "Um," he shrugs. It shouldn't be a big deal anymore. He needs to get used to telling people about his relationship with them, especially because it's becoming increasingly more serious as the days go by. "I'm. . . You know. . . Seeing them."

It's a lot to lay on someone.

More importantly, someone who doesn't seem like the type to understand much of it at all.

"Two people?" Debby wonders.

Brendon bites his cheek, staring at the level six button. "Yes. . ."

Debby blinks, looking away from him, trying to help it makes sense in her mind. "And they're both okay with that? The fact that you're seeing both of them at the same time?"

Brendon leans his head against the wall. "They're married, Debby. I don't know. They just wanted another person to their relationship."

Before she's able to say something in return, they finally reach the floor, and it's relief when those doors open. As Brendon's walking out though, Debby trails behind in a hurry.

"Like, polygamy?" She asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"No." He whispers. "No. No. It's the same thing as any other relationship, but with three people instead." He explains, stopping in front of the elevator so no one else is able to hear them.

Debby nods along, hand tightening around her purse strap. "That's. . . That's cool. I've never really seen that before, except in movies and stuff." She laughs quietly, feeling awkward, Brendon thinks. She always seems to be around him, and he can't blame her, because he feels the same way. "Well, that's good for you. I'm glad you found some people." She then pauses, a small smile on her face. "Did this all start through Tinder?"

Brendon's cheeks go warm, eyes casting somewhere else. "Yeah," he mutters.

She chuckles. "Then I guess I helped a little bit."

Brendon cracks a smile at that. In a way, it's funny. Truly. "You did."

Debby nods. "You can thank me later." She jokes, slowly starting to walk off to the cubicles. Before she does, though, she turns to look over her shoulder at him. "Thank you for telling me, Brendon."

As he watches her step away, the corner of his lips curl upwards.

Brendon should really stop procrastinating. He's missing out.

***

Brendon received more work than he could handle in his usual hours today, which lead him to stay longer than he wanted. He has to talk to a few people around him to sort things out, and that was dreadful, because despite everyone trying to act professional, he could tell there was something very underlying there. They don't like him. They think he's somebody that he isn't.

Brendon doesn't pay mind to it and instead thanks them, and finishes what he needs to do. Rushing. Trying to wrap it up as fast as possible.

Once he finally does, it's about fifty minutes or so after he was intentionally supposed to leave. Meaning he has lost time he could be spending with Tyler and Josh, and that's what upsets him immensely. He doesn't waste a single second to message Tyler, either.

I had to work late, but I'll be over soon. I'm gonna shower then I'll be there.

He hasn't showered since Sunday night, so he needs to.

Okay, Bren. See you soon.

Brendon's anxiety finally settles a bit once recieving their text, not only because it reassures him that he really will be with them and Josh again before he knows it, but also because he didn't let them down like he felt he might have.

With that, he's slipping his phone back into his pocket and is driving to the apartment complex, giddy after he makes it there and is unlocking the door. Brendon's clean clothes are dumped out across the entire couch from him trying to find a pair of slacks and a button up this morning. So, he looks through the pile again, for clothes to change into right now, and some clothes to bring with him.

He packs a few things into a bag, and afterwards, he's headed to the bathroom. He's unbuttoning his shirt while staring in the mirror, reflecting, thinking, planning. He feels more open to the possibility of something happening now more than ever, and it's a good feeling to have. Knowing he won't be anxious if anything may occur.

Brendon takes a deep breath once the hot water falls through his hair and down his back, using this time to let any and all worries out now in order to embrace the excitement. There's a lot of it. Especially because it feels like something new considering it's a big day for Tyler and Josh. Now it's going to be a big day, the only difference being that he will be involved as well.

He scrubs thoroughly when he has body soap on the loofah. Well, in certain areas. For good measure. And once Brendon washes the conditioner from his hair, he's stepping out of the shower and is drying off as fast as he can. But, it's not fast enough. He ends up slipping on his jeans and t-shirt before he's fully dried off. It sticks to his skin; he doesn't mind. All he does is put on a pair of socks and tosses his hair around after ringing it out in the sink, positive that it should dry a bit on his ride to Tyler and Josh's place.

Brendon walks out of the bathroom and into the livingroom once throwing his dirty clothes into the laundry basket, soon slipping on some sneakers.

He looks around the apartment for a second after grabbing his bag to make sure he has everything. It doesn't take him long to decide that yes, he's good, so with that, he's stepping out of the place and is locking the door, making his way to his car.

The entire drive, Brendon's body is buzzing with anticipation. He pops in a CD and sings along to a few of the songs, humming when he wants to. It's good. He's good. Everything is good. There's a rush as he parks, and an even bigger rush once he is standing at the front door with his bag over his shoulder after pressing the doorbell.

He hears Jim barking and a few words being passed, making Brendon smile.

He's home again. Finally.

Tyler answers the door with a mirroring grin, not giving Brendon a single moment to say anything-- they're pulling him right to their chest. Such a tight hug, such a soft kiss. "Hey," they whisper, hand going into his hair so naturally, holding his head in order for him to be completely protected by them.

"I missed you." Brendon utters.

"I missed you, too." Tyler assures.

"I missed you most!" Josh shouts from the couch, reaching out for him. Brendon chuckles as he sees it, slowly stepping away from Tyler, dropping his bag, and walking over to him instead. Josh doesn't waste time to pull Brendon down either; the two of them are laughing as he grabs his arms and brings him over the back of the couch, making him to fall onto the cushions.

Brendon sits up once containing himself, still holding Josh's hand. They face each other then, absolutely content, and absolutely entrapped in one another.

Josh kisses him. Leaning into his body, making Brendon realize how much he truly did miss him, and this, and everything revolving him and Tyler. He's back at his safe space once more. Nothing is better than this feeling.

As Brendon kisses back, Tyler interrupts the two of them by grabbing Brendon's chin and making him face them.

"I'm making macaroni and cheese and dino nuggets for dinner." They state. "Is that okay?"

Brendon blinks, tilting his head a bit. "Dino nuggets?"

They shrug, taking their hand away from his chin once running their thumb across his lips like they always seem to do. "Yeah. I'm not in the mood to make a big meal. I just want to relax and enjoy the rest of the night."

Brendon nods. "That's fine." He carefully lays his head onto Josh's shoulder, puppy eyes for Tyler. "Ketchup with mine, please."

They smile. "Okay."

With that, they're walking away, and it's at this moment he catches how they're still wearing his hoodie. Not only that, but Brendon's pretty sure they have a nightgown of some sort beneath it. It's silk, baby blue, reaching just a bit above their mid-thigh, and they also have on a pair of sweatpants as well. Brendon never understands, but he enjoys looking at them. It's captivating getting to watch them express themself, be authentically Tyler.

Brendon turns back to Josh once Tyler disappears into the kitchen, staring up at him, pressing his lips against his jaw just because he can. "How's the anniversary been going?" He murmurs.

Josh hums. "Really good." He says. "We made blueberry pancakes together this morning, and the rest of the day we've mostly been watching movies. We took Jim to the park too, which was nice. They never go with me on his walks." At the thought, he continues. "They're handling the anniversary a lot better this year."

Brendon's eyebrows furrow when he hears that, pulling away to look at him face-to-face. "What do you mean?"

Josh shrugs, connecting their hands together. "The last two times have been a little hard for them to cope with, because, you know. . . It's an anniversary of when we got married, and they got misgendered the entire day." Brendon had never really thought about it like that. "It usually only messes with them in the morning since that's one of the first things on their mind. I just make sure to give them all my love and affection so it ends up being the last thing they think about."

Brendon nods along. "I'm glad it's getting better. They deserve to be happy on a day like this."

Josh smiles. "Definitely."

Jim jumps onto the couch suddenly after that, right between Brendon and Josh. He's licking Brendon's neck, completely smothering him in kisses-- he missed him, and Brendon chuckles, scratching behind his ear as a thank you.

"It's gonna be Jim's birthday soon." Josh brings up, running a hand through his fur.

Brendon smiles at the information, letting go of Josh so he can hold behind Jim's ears, bringing them up and down. "Is it your birthday soon?" He murmurs in a stupid high-pitched voice to him. Afterwards, he looks back to Josh. "How old is he gonna be?"

Josh plays with the dog's tail. "Four." He states. "We adopted him a few weeks after we got married."

Brendon grins, kissing the top of Jim's head. "Tyler should make him a dog-friendly birthday treat."

Josh laughs. "They already did last year."

"Really?"

Josh nods, leaning back against the couch. "They found a recipe online to make these cupcakes for dogs. But the recipe ended up serving too many, and we have Jim on a strict diet, so we only kept two for him and gave the rest to the couple of neighbors we have beside us who are nice and have dogs."

Brendon pushes his bottom lip out in an over exaggerated frown. "Poor Jim." He utters, slowly leaning down to hold him. "He probably just wants to be fat but instead you and Tyler are depriving him of his birthday cupcakes and human food."

Josh rolls his eyes, chuckling. "God forbid we want our dog healthy."

"He wants Taco Bell." Brendon says.

Josh laughs, shaking his head. With a moment of silence, he slowly grabs Brendon's hand another time and pulls at it until he gets as close as he can possibly be. Jim leaves because of this, trotting into the kitchen instead where he can get affection from someone else.

The two of them don't say a word, they simply lay down against the cushions, facing one another. They're wrapped up in each other's arms, and it's good. They're smiling, all-lip, eyelashes resting on the apples of their cheeks every time they blink.

"How've you been?" Josh asks Brendon.

"Good. I got to spend some time with Carina and my mom. That's nice." He murmurs, because although he dreads staying at the retirement home more often than not, it brings him back to reality. Sometimes, being with Josh and Tyler only feels like a dream. "I've mostly just been missing you and Ty." He admits, yet it's no secret.

"We've missed you too, Bren." Josh whispers, tucking his face into his chest. "Especially me." He decides. "You're my man. At this point, I need you to even everything out."

Brendon can't comprehend what that means. Maybe it just has to do with the fact that Josh isn't exactly used to having another man in his day-to-day life, and now that Brendon is here to offer that sense of 'masculinity', he realizes how much he needed it. He and Tyler can't always relate or talk about certain things. With Brendon, he can, and he thinks that might be what Josh is getting at.

Brendon doesn't bother to ask if that's it, though. He simply nods, kissing Josh's forehead instead, because perhaps he does want the fulfillment of another man, as well.

And it seems so.

Josh touches Brendon without any hesitation. One hand is resting above his thigh, the other falls into his hair, and it's fine. Brendon likes it unlike Tyler. That's fine, also. The two of them easily rest in the comfort of each other's bodies, not saying a word, only basking in the solace of the situation. Brendon can hear Tyler cooking in the kitchen and Jim mewling, probably because he's getting no food, making him smile softly. He can't stress enough how safe he is like this. It's as if anything he has ever worried about, or panicked about, or cried about, or got angry about-- it's all gone. It doesn't live in this world where the only thing that takes place is love and fortune coexisting with one another.

This is where he is meant to be, Brendon thinks.

Minutes pass by, Josh stays glued to him, but finally, Tyler is coming around and placing plates onto the coffee table. They do a few runs back and forth between the kitchen and livingroom. Once they have everything ready though, Tyler is leaning down and kissing Brendon's cheek, then Josh's.

"Dinner time, boys." They murmur, slowly sitting on the floor.

With a subtle groan, both Josh and Brendon pull apart, each sitting right next to Tyler when the two of them see they have set up plates already. Who the plates belong to is obvious. One holds an absurd amount of macaroni and cheese along with eight or so dino nuggets, while the other one only has about a scoop of pasta and a few dino nuggets.

Brendon sits and sticks a fork into his scoop.

"Thank you, Ty." He gets out, turning to look at them.

They smile, not a single word coming from their mouth, and before Brendon can think, they press their lips against his. It doesn't last long; it's easy. As they pull away too, they're smiling again. Brendon finds himself doing the same when he looks off and takes the first bite of his food.

With that, Tyler is scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something that could possibly keep all of their attention for longer than half an hour.

It seems to be pretty difficult for the three of them.

As Brendon takes another bite of macaroni and cheese in the midst of comfortable silence that surrounds him, Josh suddenly lets out an excited noise when something comes to mind, swatting his hand up and down towards Tyler. He has a mouth full of food so no words escape from him, which leaves Tyler with a quirked brow his way, but once he gets the pasta down, he's grinning, eyes bright.

"Show Brendon what I got you for your anniversary present!" He gets out, swatting hand coming back down.

The corner of Tyler's lips lift when they hear that, nodding along happily. Brendon will admit he's a little surprised as they abruptly place their foot on his lap, curling their toes into his thigh.

"Look." They utter.

He sets his plate down, looking at their foot.

It's socks.

Purple socks, with Jim's face on them.

Brendon grins, lifting his head and meeting eyes with them, then Josh. "They're cute." He says, kind of wishing he had a pair for himself. "Where did you get them?"

Josh shrugs. "I found this website that lets you add your pet's face onto literally anything. Socks, mugs, blankets, pillows-- and I knew they would like the socks the best."

"And he was right." Tyler adds in, making Josh smile their way. "Now show him what I got you." They say.

Josh chuckles a bit, leaning forward to grab a mug off the coffee table. When he turns it around, Brendon catches, once again, Jim's face. It's a picture of him with his tongue out, looking as happy as can be, making Brendon wish he had both of the presents at this point. They're cute.

"For your anniversary, you both got each other something with Jim." Brendon states. "Not even something with the two of you on it." He laughs a little as he says it, finding it funny.

Josh shrugs. "Jim represents our love for each other."

Brendon hums. "I can't judge that."

As they go back to eating their food, Brendon realizes Tyler's foot is still in his lap. He doesn't mind, no, it's just uncomfortable to have it wedged into his thigh like this, but he says nothing about it. He only takes a bite of his chicken nugget and uses his other hand to rest it against Tyler's shin, feeling the need to touch them if they're going to be so close.

They look at him for a moment, then forward again.

"Do you want some wine?" They bring up.

Brendon nods. "Yeah."

"Wine and dino nuggets, how classy." Josh murmurs, making Tyler chuckle, then shrug.

"I'm romantic sometimes, I know."

"Too romantic." Josh jokes, slowly leaning his head onto Brendon's shoulder.

As Tyler is pouring wine out into three different glasses, Brendon feels a chill go down his spine when Josh begins to press his lips against his neck. It's so soft, so careful, so tender. Brendon closes his eyes to bask in the feeling, and as soon as he does, he catches Josh run his tongue over one of the spots he had been kissing, making Brendon let out a breath of a laugh and turn to him. They're nearly nose-to-nose.

"What's that for?" He whispers.

Josh's shoulders lift. "I missed you." He says, quietly, matching Brendon's tone. "I just wanna kiss you."

Brendon nods, not saying a word. His and Josh's eyes meet and Brendon sees how deep into this he really is. He's being swallowed; there is no escape. Yet, at this point, Brendon doesn't think he'd ever want to leave, anyways.

He leans in to kiss him. It's only a peck, then they pull away. Though, when Brendon catches Josh's face again, he can't leave it there. He's so good. That's all he can think-- Josh is so good. So right. This is so right, and that's why he goes in for another kiss, longer than before, and much more needy than before. For some reason, they can never get enough of each other. It isn't such a bad thing. None of it is a bad thing, especially when Tyler suddenly kisses his jaw and cheek before handing him his glass of wine.

Brendon turns from Josh, instead looking over to them. "Thank y--"

Their lips are on his. A kiss, another one, a peck, some distance, then another peck.

"You're welcome." They murmur, taking a sip of their wine.

Brendon sits in silence, enjoying the buzz of having so much affection being thrown at him all at once.

"Why do we always end up kissing while we eat dinner?" Josh brings up after a moment, talking with a mouthful of macaroni, yet neither Brendon nor Tyler are all that bothered by it. They're comfortable. Far too invested in each other to be turned off by something like this. "The more I think about it, it's probably pretty gross."

Tyler is still trying to find a movie to watch as they respond. "The food tastes better from your mouth."

Brendon's face scrunches up when he hears that, and Josh's brows furrow as he laughs. "That's nasty."

The corner of Tyler's mouth lifts. They shrug, continuing their search. "Or secretly, I have the power to make all my meals aphrodisiacs." They disperse, making Josh and Brendon both chuckle.

"That sounds more accurate." Josh decides.

Brendon nods in agreement, finally drinking a bit of his wine. He winces as soon as he does, earning Tyler's attention immediately.

"You don't like it?" They wonder.

Brendon shakes his head, placing his glass down. "I'm not the biggest fan of wine. I don't know. I've always just drank beer." He discloses. "I'll drink it, though."

Tyler examines his features, pushing some hair behind his ear, reminding him quickly that he needs a haircut. "If you don't like it, don't drink it, Bren." They're gentle with him, always, and it's something he never wants to lose. "We had some left over from when Mom and D-- Josh's parents visited, that's the only reason why I want to finish it."

Brendon hums. "I wanna drink it. It's romantic."

"The thought of you getting sick isn't very romantic." Tyler states.

"I drank wine last time. It was fine." Brendon assures, holding their shin once more. "This one tastes a little funky but I'll live."

"As long as you don't throw up on us tonight." Josh adds in, earning a laugh in return.

"I can't promise you anything. Sounds pretty romantic to me." Brendon jokes.

Jim comes into the livingroom when he says that, dog food crumbs on his face as well as water dripping from his chin. It's gross, but just like Tyler and him did with Josh, they don't criticize him for it, and instead pet him when he wiggles his way into the three of them.

"Shut up and eat your food, weirdos." Tyler chuckles, finishing the last of their macaroni and cheese.

Josh grumbles and Brendon sighs. They do as they're told, nonetheless.

Tyler ends up choosing a baking show to watch, criticizing every person's choice the whole time. Brendon finds it funny, mostly cute, though. He watches them more than he does the actual show, eating another nugget as he does it, and after a while, he tries not to focus on the show entirely. Not only because Tyler's more important, but because he can't handle seeing any more food than the plates that are already in front of him.

They only get through thirty minutes or so of the episode before each of them finish their dinner. Tyler stands and collects their plates afterwards, leading Brendon to chug the rest of his wine so they can take his glass, and immediately, Tyler's laughing at him.

"Are you trying to get tipsy, Brendon?" They joke. "Because it's going to take more than that."

"Shut up." He says, sticking his tongue out at them.

Tyler smiles, walking off into the kitchen then, leaving him and Josh with the rest of the wine, and Jim, who is now asleep, twitching every once in awhile.

Josh reaches for the wine and drinks directly from the bottle, lifting it towards Brendon with a smirk and hooded eyes. "You want more?" He asks, yet immediately pulls it away from Brendon before he gives an answer, to drink more. Once he takes one more good swig though, he lifts it back up.

"I'm okay." Brendon assures.

"Good, 'cause I just drank the rest of it." Josh laughs.

Brendon rolls his eyes, laughing along with him. "I think you're the one trying to get tipsy." He says, staring back at Josh, and immediately is feeling a tightness in his chest when he continues looking back, happy, so happy. So comfortable.

"It's my anniversary, let me feel good." Josh whines playfully.

Brendon hums. "I'll let you feel good."

As soon as it's said, Josh's eyebrows lift, a smirk creeping up on his face. "Thank you for the permission." He moves closer to Brendon, grabbing his hand tentatively, then leaning in and kissing him. When they pull apart, Brendon rolls his eyes.

"I didn't mean for it to sound weird." He murmurs.

Josh shrugs. "Be weird all you want. It's fun."

"Is it?"

Josh touches noses with him. "It is." He whispers, and when there's some silence following afterwards, Josh kisses him another time. They just can't seem to get enough of each other. Silverware and plates are clinking together in the distance as Tyler washes dishes, and it's homely. It's somehow soothing, too. Brendon is at ease even as he and Josh keep going, bottom lip taking his top one, and with a breath, Josh brings his leg over Brendon, straddling his lap.

Brendon looks up at him and smiles. "Hi."

Josh's teeth are on show for him, curls falling in his eyes when he tilts his head. "Hi."

Brendon is embarrassed knowing how fast his heart is beating from something as simple as looking at Josh this close. Not only that, but feeling him as well. He's warm, buzzing with joy (possibly wine, too) and when he grabs Brendon's hand and brings it to his backside, maybe Brendon is buzzing with joy, also.

"Keep on kissing me." Josh says. "You have soft lips."

Brendon finds it funny; he used to have such a bad habit of picking at the skin on his lips-- perhaps he has gotten over in within these past few months without realizing it.

"Okay." He replies with a small smile.

Just when Josh gives him a peck as a start, Tyler comes back into the livingroom and sits down on the floor beside the two of them. They don't say a word, all they do is lift their head up to kiss Josh, and after that, Tyler is turning to Brendon with a tug at the corner of their mouth and a hand to his chin. "I want a piece of those soft lips, too." They comment, making Brendon push out a breathy laugh.

Before he can respond, they pull him close until they're kissing. Not just a kiss, but more. It's different than when he and Josh kiss because Tyler takes any sense of control there can be, unlike like Josh, who allows him to dominate the situation all on his own. Either way, Brendon enjoys both sides of it. It's a little more exciting if he kisses Tyler since he doesn't know exactly what they will do. A thrill, he'd say.

Though, he can admit, there is also a thrill when kissing Josh. He likes to see how he reacts to anything he does.

Tyler's head tilts as they take his bottom lip, and Brendon smiles-- he can't help it. Tyler smiles too after a moment, pulling away to look at him, be happy with him. Their thumb and pointer finger pinch his chin until they bring it down to Josh's thigh. "You're so cute." They murmur.

"I'm just happy."

"And that's very cute." They insist, looking up at Josh afterwards, then to Brendon once more. "I'm happy, too. Really happy."

"You both are such saps." Josh gets out.

"You love it." Tyler mutters, slipping their hand into his.

Josh grins when he hears it, nodding. He slowly leans his head down onto Brendon's shoulder. "I do love it." He brings his and Tyler's interlocked hands to his lips, giving it a kiss. "I'm happy, too. Really happy like this. The three of us."

Brendon can't help but agree. This is perfect. He finds himself a bit afraid to think so because it's something he doesn't want to lose, and exposing the importance of their relationship makes him feel vulnerable, even if it is not aloud. Maybe it's the fact that he's confirming to himself how attached he truly is to Tyler and Josh.

As if it wasn't obvious already.

Suddenly, Tyler untangles their hand from Josh's, slapping his butt as they stand up. "Let's head to the bedroom and watch a movie or something, for real this time." They stare down at the two of them, Jim socks ruffled at their ankles and the right of their nightgown stuck under the hoodie.

"I'll take Jim out and meet you up there." Josh decides, sitting up straight in Brendon's lap.

"I'll come with you." Brendon says, mostly because Josh is so warm he doesn't want to let him go. He really is attached.

The corner of Josh's mouth lifts, arms resting on his shoulders. He looks at Brendon with hooded eyes. Not only that; it's paired with what is now a smirk. "Good." He replies. "Do me a favor and slap my ass when I get up." There's no shame in his voice-- it's so casual.

"Why?" Brendon asks, brows furrowed.

There's silence.

"Um," Josh looks up at the ceiling in thought. "Tradition."

Tyler chuckles, shaking their head. "I know it's a joke, but at this point, is it really?"

Josh hums. "You're right." He agrees, pecking Brendon's forehead at the conclusion. "Well, slap my ass for tradition. Actually." As he pulls his arms from off his shoulders, he adds another thing. "And I like it. Okay?"

Josh looks at him with such a specific look. One Brendon can't even describe. It's one that involves honesty, trust-- playfulness, too.

"Okay." He whispers.

Josh smiles, wide, happy. He nods to himself afterwards, slowly standing up from Brendon's lap. It's definitely a tease, a laugh. Josh lays his elbows against the coffee table once he turns around, shaking his butt right in front of Brendon's face. He looks back at him with another smirk, waiting. He and Tyler are both waiting, and Brendon is too; he's waiting to get the will to do it, without worrying about it.

Brendon meets eyes with Josh and sucks in his bottom lip, hand tentative as it lifts, and even more so when he slaps Josh lightly through his jeans.

Josh grins, chuckling. "One more time." He murmurs. "With some more effort."

Brendon rolls his eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm going upstairs." Tyler cuts in, still chuckling. Brendon watches them leave the room, heart pounding slightly in his chest. He's worked up, it's no surprise.

"One more spank." Josh continues when they're gone.

"It's not a spank. Don't call it that." Brendon shakes his head, laughing at this entire situation. What is happening?

"You're no fun." Josh pouts, sticking his butt higher. Brendon finds his stomach twisting into a knot that's unfamiliar to him as he does so. One that's not sickly, but excited. Why? Josh doesn't stop, either. He keeps moving his hips side-to-side, truly teasing him this time, and Brendon is giving in. He likes this. Should he? He has no clue, all he knows is that his hand lifts another time, and comes down onto Josh harder than before. Not super hard, honestly, it's probably mediocre. There was effort though, like he was asked.

Josh bites his lip, nodding. "Thank you." He replies, like it's nature.

"Just let me get up so we can take Jim out." Brendon huffs; Josh is crazy. He cackles as he gets up and does a little dance once they get Jim to run out into the backyard. It's freezing too, and as Brendon trembles when they stand outside waiting for the dog to do his business, Josh wraps his arms around him, kissing the space between his shoulder blades through his clothes.

"Today's been so good." Josh murmurs.

Brendon listens to the mumble come from behind him, slowly placing one of his hands over Josh's. "Are you saying that because I slapped your butt, or because the anniversary's been going well in general?"

Josh shrugs. "Both."

Brendon hums, nodding. "Well, I'm glad it's been so good." He replies.

Josh lets out such a small, breathy laugh. He's smiling, and Brendon knows because he presses his face against him and nibbles at his shirt, kissing the same area after a moment. With that, Brendon turns around in his hold. Josh lays his chin onto his chest then, looking up at him, eyes twinkling from the porch light.

There's some silence.

They're basking in this. Mostly because of the small buzz from the wine-- and Brendon is sure Josh's buzz is stronger than his own-- but also because there's nothing better than getting to feel one another, from the heartbeat to the breath hitting the cotton of his top.

"Are you happy?" Josh wonders, softly, breaking the silence. Brendon obviously doesn't understand where it's coming from, so Josh continues. "With us." He says.

Brendon smiles, all-lip, carefully kissing the bridge of Josh's nose. "I'm the happiest I've ever been." He admits. It's nothing but a whisper, so gentle, and perhaps it comes from the fact that telling him something this detrimental is terrifying, yet despite that, he never thought about hesitating. Especially not when Josh's cheeks rise high, nodding, satisfied, happy, also.

"I lied when I said everything's good." Josh discloses, confusing Brendon immensely because, what? "Today isn't so good. Everything is so good." The relief Brendon feels when he hears that is indescribable. He and Josh are in their own little bubble right now. A happy, content bubble. "You make everything so good, Bren. Tyler and I haven't felt this way in. . . God, a long time."

Brendon's stuck between being absolutely heartwarmed by that, yet also trying to compose himself to make it seem like he finally has it under control when it comes to compliments, or something this intimate.

"Thank you." He mutters, slowly grabbing both sides of Josh's face and giving him a soft kiss. Easy enough that he can slip away, yet somehow good enough to communicate more than any other kiss they've partaken in tonight. When Brendon pulls away, he leans his nose onto Josh's. "Speaking of Tyler though, we should probably go up there with them. They must be all lonely while we've been down here kissin'."

Josh chuckles, nodding. "I guess you're right." He states. "Maybe all three of us can kiss. You know, so they don't feel left out."

Josh says it absentmindedly, pulling away from Brendon and whistling to grab Jim's attention, but Brendon's mind immediately spins at the idea, because he's thought about it so much, yet it has never once happened. He wants it to happen. He really, really does.

"Actually?" Brendon gets out.

Josh turns to look at him, patting Jim's butt. "Actually what?"

Brendon blinks, shivering from the body warmth he's now lacking, shrugging like it means nothing. "The. . . Three of us kissing?"

Josh smirks, shrugging as well. "Brendon, if you want to make out, we can. Tyler and I are always willing to make out."

Brendon swallows thickly. "Okay, well. . . We should make out."

Josh does a small dance-- he seems to do that when he's had a bit of alcohol and is excited. "Let's go to the bedroom with Tyler, then."

Brendon nods, and they head inside. The two of them go upstairs with their fingers just barely hooked together. Once they walk into the bedroom though, Josh is instantly pulling his hand away and instead is jumping onto the bed-- well, in Tyler's lap. Opposed to saying something, wonder why Josh came into the room this excited, they simply stare up at him.

"Let's make out." Josh says.

Tyler's eyebrows furrow together, resting their hands onto Josh's butt. "What were you two doing out there that prompted this?" They ask with a laugh.

"Talking about how happy we are together." Josh informs. "Now we want to make out."

"So no Maze Runner?" Tyler wonders. "I was excited to rewatch it."

Josh rolls his eyes. "Shut up. When do you ever turn down making out, anyways? Especially with people as hot as Brendon and I." Josh smiles, poking Tyler's chest. "You know you wanna. . ."

Tyler gives in, quick. Of course they do. "For a little bit."

"Then it's Maze Runner time." Josh decides.

"Mhm."

It's quiet once they come to an agreement. Brendon stands in the doorway, unsure of what to do, but luckily, Tyler looks his direction and waves him over, patting a spot beside them. "Come here, weirdo."

Brendon shuffles his way onto the bed, feet tucked underneath him, Tyler sitting against the headboard beside him, and Josh, looking down at the two of them like they're stars in the sky. How do his eyes capture something that immeasurable? He has no clue, all he knows is that despite the boost of confidence he got to begin this "let's make out" movement, he has no idea what to do now.

"How. . . Do we start it?" Brendon asks.

Tyler chuckles, moving one of their hands from Josh, to Brendon's shoulder. "Don't force it. Let it happen."

"Well how is it supposed to start if it isn't forced? I mean--"

Tyler kisses him. Hand moving to cradle his jaw, lips soft as they take away his speech. Brendon wants it to last forever but once Tyler savors this moment long enough to make him lose his breath, they pull away. Brendon looks to their lips to see how plump they've become from something as simple as that. He's slightly taken aback. More importantly, buzzing with another feeling to add to the list.

It doesn't stop there. Brendon is the one who initiates the kiss this time; it's been a while since he has kissed them so intimately. And nothing's better than knowing Josh is watching all of this unfold, loving it. Brendon is loving it, and Tyler is loving it, too. They push, making Brendon weak, a feather as they suck on his bottom lip like it's candy.

Tyler's tongue slips into his mouth when Brendon opens it just for them. He lets out such a hot breath in return, unknowingly making his brows pull together. There's a frustration there, a need, and it only worsens when Josh's body heat joins the party, as well as his hands, and slowly, his lips, too. Josh peppers kisses up Brendon's neck until he makes it to the need that's meeting in the middle. Tyler's hungry, and Brendon is taking it. But, it seems like the hunger grows stronger from all three of them once Josh adds his tongue in as well. It's so wet, so messy, so good. Is this what they were talking about when he asked what it's like? Is this the "a lot of tongue"?

Brendon is in too much of a haze to ponder about it. Instead, he turns to Josh and eats him up. Lips over and under, tongue licking and dancing. Brendon catches the way Tyler pants as they watch, and still, they move back in. It's so much tongue and it should be disgusting yet it's not. If anything, Brendon has never felt this turned on. He's trying his hardest not to let out a groan that's begging to free itself, not even because there's much pleasure taking place, it's simply the idea of how hot this whole thing is that's making his mind spin.

It's lips, fighting, overlapping repeatedly. Tongues, licking aimlessly with hopes to achieve something, and it's definitely doing the job.

Brendon's not sure Maze Runner is going to come any time soon.

But, maybe he's wrong. Despite Tyler obviously enjoying this, they pull away another time, and as they trail kisses down his neck and behind his ear, they pat his shoulder, officially disconnected from the situation.

"Movie time?" They bring up.

Josh laughs even with Brendon's tongue in his mouth-- which is such a strange sensation, one Brendon never knew he'd experience.

Josh pulls back and looks to Tyler. "Was that your 'for a little bit'?" He wonders.

Tyler nods. "Yes." They lay down against the pillows instead of staying propped up, and Josh still stays in their lap, grinning when he looks to Brendon once more. "I hope that was enough to hold you over."

It definitely was not.

Brendon feels like he's going to explode.

Nonetheless he nods, clearing his throat. "Let's lay down." There's saliva coating his chin and even one of his cheeks, still, he pushes through the lust creeping over his shoulder.

Josh finally gets off of Tyler, laying at the complete other side of the bed, leaving the middle space specifically for Brendon. He smiles when he sees, slowly climbing over Tyler and plopping down against the sheets.

Immediately, Josh scoots close until they're pressed upon one another as much as possible. Not only that, but he keeps his head propped up and stares at Brendon with hooded eyes. Brendon says nothing, lets it happen, and when Josh's finger runs across his chin and cheek, that's what surprises him. Well, Brendon is more surprised when Josh sticks his tongue out and doesn't break eye contact as he licks everything off, slowly, making sure Brendon catches all of it.

Josh presses a kiss to his lips afterwards, laying his head onto Brendon's chest like it never happened.

And officially, Brendon's whole body is burning. Needing. Denying.

Let it go, is all he can tell himself.

Once Tyler presses play on the movie, they turn on their side and move close, spooning him as well as they can with Brendon on his back opposed to his side, too.

Brendon can't concentrate for the life of him. He's never seen the movie before but despite how many questions he has right off the bat, all his mind focuses on is Tyler's breath against his neck, and Josh's hair tickling his jaw, and Tyler's legs tangling with his own, and Josh's arms tensing around him every time his interest is peaked from what's on screen, and feeling Tyler's heartbeat because of how close they are, and-- okay. If it wasn't obvious already, he's so unbelievably preoccupied by something else. It's not his fault, though. How the hell is he expected to think straight when something that new and that exciting took place just minutes ago?

He can still feel both of their tongues on him. Against his. It ended too soon; far too soon for his liking.

He wants more.

Brendon can't concentrate.

Time's passing by agonizingly, and it's stupid that it seems that way. He's thirty years old. He can handle a lack of touch. He can.

But he doesn't want to. That's the problem.

Brendon's body is throbbing in desire. And it's been what? Fifteen minutes or so now, yet for some reason, he can't get over what happened. His foot is bouncing and he's sure it could probably be annoying both Josh and Tyler. He can't find motivation to care. There's so much pent up. There's so much he thought would happen and it's not.

At some point, with a painful swell in his chest, Brendon sits up, immediately earning the attention of the two in front of him.

Brendon hopes Tyler doesn't care that much about rewatching Maze Runner.

"Bren?" Josh gets out.

He looks down at them, thinking he might very well have a heart attack. There's such a strong pounding in his chest, to the point that he can barely hear. Or it's delusion. No, anxiety.

"Is it alright if I. . . Give you an anniversary gift?" Brendon murmurs.

He watches the confusion in both of their faces.

"What do you mean?" Tyler asks, lost. "You don't have to give us anything, Brendon."

Brendon keeps quiet when they say that, thinking that maybe starting this off with 'can I give you an anniversary gift' isn't the right way to go. Why would he give them an anniversary gift? It's not even his anniversary. Still, with his nails digging into his thighs and his heart about to beat right out of his body, he licks his lips. There's a profound hesitation, terrified if now is the right time, or if he's ruining the mood-- he doesn't care, though. He doesn't. This is more important than anything else to him right now, and for once, finally, he feels ready. He is ready.

"Let's have sex." Brendon suggests.

There's a mouth-drying silence that falls over the entire room as soon as it's said despite the movie still playing.

Tyler sits up, hand moving to touch his knee. They look concerned. Surprised? Probably. They most likely thought this moment would come a lot farther down the line considering how unwilling Brendon is to expose such a vulnerability to him.

"You're not just saying that because you think that's all we want right now, are you?" They ask, softly. "Because that's exactly why I stopped the kissing. I didn't want it to go too far and make you uncomfortable if you weren't ready."

Easily, Brendon is shaking his head. He can feel a heartbeat in his throat, swelling so much it's restraining. "No." He assures, letting out a shaky breath as he looks down at the hand Tyler has on him. "I really want to."

Tyler gauges everything Brendon is presenting, and when another silence invades once again, Josh sits up with the two of them. "I guess I douched today for a reason." He inserts, and instantly, Tyler's closing their eyes, a serious façade turning to a humorous one as they chuckle, shaking their head.

The paranoia fades because of that; it's becoming lighthearted, and Brendon is glad.

Tyler looks to Josh. "Thank you, babe." They murmur, laughing in small breaths.

A smile twitches onto Brendon's face, the pounding in his chest tremendous as he waits for something solid. He's nervous, of course, yet opposed to his usual nervousness, it's an excited one. He's thought about this for a long time, long enough to reassure himself that he'd never be safer.

Josh meets eyes with Brendon. "If you feel comfortable enough, we can definitely do that."

Brendon nods, swallowing thickly. "Yeah. I'm comfortable." He assures. "I'm ready."

Tyler smiles hearing that, propping themself up just high enough to kiss his lips. It's sweet, calming somehow, and Brendon intertwines their fingers together as form of protection. "Are we allowed to go past your clothes this time?" They ask, mostly as a joke because of how reserved he's been over it (besides his birthday. . .) but also to make sure Brendon truly is comfortable.

He grins after pushing out a heavy breath he was caught up on, nodding another time. "Yeah." He says. "All the way this time."

There's something about that sentence which makes even Brendon get a chill down his spine. It sounds so confident, and for him, in a situation like this, he would have never expected it.

Tyler and Josh both seem unbelievably content as a response. They're coming to terms with what is happening, and it's almost as if a whole other light is shed upon each of them. Maybe there is. It feels like it once Tyler's lowering the volume to the TV, and carefully, their free hand is to his waist, lips against his another time. Brendon leans into it more considering this is most definitely an initiation. He knows so when the hand Tyler has intertwined with Brendon's at his knee pulls away and instead moves for his inner thigh, slowly.

**Trigger warning: sexual scenes/smut.**

Brendon exhales into their mouth, nodding along without much thought.

With that permission, Tyler is trailing their fingers up and down his thigh, then palming him with just as much intent as they did during his birthday-- perhaps even more.

Brendon gasps in the slightest, taking their tongue as they continue. Though, Josh is quickly coming in and ultimately gauges Brendon's attention more than anything else. He turns to face him opposed to Tyler, kissing his top lip and the bottom of his nose before his mouth. When he does, he can't get over it. There's something about Josh he never gets enough of, it's almost addicting, and when they kiss it's like that addiction is refrained from withdrawals. Their tongues tango in the center; Tyler's hand tangos below. Brendon's hips push forward in an effort to achieve more, and he receives it easily. It doesn't take long for Tyler to finally rip a moan from him.

Once they do, that's when both of their hands go to grip his shirt, and Brendon thinks that he was wrong before. This is definitely the true initiation.

He's worried. Neither of them have seen him shirtless, or very bare at all, and there's so much to unpack there.

Still, despite the worry, he turns his head to meet eyes with Tyler, nodding. They didn't make a move to do anything without his permission. He appreciates that. And he appreciates the way Josh still kisses him even if it's only to his cheek and neck now.

Tyler, with a needed consent, begins lifting Brendon's shirt. It's like a reveal of something weirdly mysterious; Brendon has to lift his arms for them and once they're throwing his shirt to the side, Tyler and Josh both sit back to admire. There's barely anything there to do so, either. Brendon's nothing but rattlebones, and he's aware of this by now. It's one of his biggest insecurities body-wise because he can't fathom anyone seeing the keyboard of ribs he has on each side of him and feel attraction. He's working on it, though, with Tyler and Josh beside him, so he believes that's why exposing this part of himself isn't as scary as it might of been with anyone else. They know he's trying to fix the problem. They know he wouldn't look this way if he was able to choose.

There isn't a word passed, just shallow breaths. Tyler's chest is rising up and down once their eyes finish wandering, a grip on Brendon's sides as they turn him around and press his back against the mattress.

He looks up at them like they have the world, and it feels that way too. Like God, they withhold so much power. So much control. He can almost feel himself trembling at the thought, but it doesn't truly begin until they finally stop staring down at him and kiss behind his ear. Not only kiss, but lick. Treat him like a sloppy dessert yet he doesn't mind whatsoever. If anything, his abdomen grows tighter as they do it. They're moving from behind his ear to the jaw, then from the jaw to his chest, and Tyler most definitely tries to leave a couple of hickeys while they visit the destination, making Brendon's toes curl.

He can barely open his eyes enough to catch Josh slipping his own shirt off. Despite the fact he has seen Josh shirtless many times before, something about this instance is different. Brendon tries to concentrate on it, and he's able to, until Tyler licks over one of his nipples. They swirl their tongue around it, and without missing a beat, Josh is there alongside them doing the same thing with the other one. It's nothing Brendon ever thought would pique his interest, but when tongues are all over both of them like this, it's hard not to enjoy.

It doesn't last very long, sadly. Just as Brendon's eyebrows are pulling together and his mouth his falling open, Tyler and Josh are kissing. He can't explain how it began when they were both solely concentrated on him seconds ago; it doesn't need explaining, anyways. The difference between Brendon kissing either of them is that there's always an underlying hesitation. When Tyler and Josh kiss each other, there's nothing of the sorts. It's so vicious and hungry that it's painfully arousing simply watching. Brendon sees them going back and forth, sees how much Tyler's fingers dig into Josh's skin, and sees the way Josh happily gives them the dominance they crave so dearly.

The stiffness in his jeans likes it as well.

Brendon can sit back and watch this forever. He won't though, not when Tyler pulls away and whispers something into Josh's ear while their hand generously sits on top of Brendon's crotch.

He wishes he knew what they were telling him, but he thinks he gets the gist of it when Josh is crawling off the bed and is grabbing Jim by the collar, guiding him out of the room. He closes the door behind him, getting right back onto the bed afterwards.

Brendon looks up Tyler once again, waiting for their lead. He trusts them profoundly, especially in a situation like this, and he knows that whatever move they make is the right one. So, when they give him small smile before leaning over to kiss down happy trail, he's positive this is what is supposed to be happening. Even as their nose digs right into the front of his jeans and Tyler kisses his dick through the material, Brendon trusts it. Loves it. Pushes his hips up naturally while his shoulders roll into the mattress when his eyes close.

There's a mere groan, and Tyler nods, encouraging it. They keep kissing him through the layers, panting against him, too. Brendon watches them while huffing out breaths, seeing the way they're practically drooling over this. He isn't able to describe this entire situation right now. Tyler looks hungry for something much different than food; they're licking up his happy trail, sucking at the skin around that area, trying their hardest to mark their territory.

It makes Brendon harder than he already was.

They stop at some point, to his dismay. When Brendon can no longer keep his eyes open, they eventually sit up and turn to Josh, lips going all the way down to his belly button until their hands are at the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down to his knees with ease, and Josh helps them get his pants fully off before struggle could start.

"You're so hot." They murmur, simple, never getting enough of Josh even with the fact that they have definitely seen much more than this in the past.

Josh smiles.

Brendon catches the way his boxers hang low. To the point where the crack of his ass is showing and it's okay. More than okay.

Josh leans into Tyler's chest like it's home while his hands slip up their nightgown and grab the waistband to their own sweatpants. Brendon curls his toes in excitement, only because he's watching everything unfold. He's witnessing less and less being bestowed upon him, and it's beautiful. He finds something nagging away in the back of his mind about how he should feel uncomfortable with the fact that he's willingly being this vulnerable, skin and bones against the sheets. To that, he's shaking it off, unsure of why he held back this much opposed to taking the step sooner. He's blossoming. Tyler and Josh are, also. Brendon supposes it can be awkward every now and then, such as now when he's on the outside looking in, but to him, he's perfect. This is perfect.

He has no hesitation or fears.

By the time Tyler's own pants are off, they're tongue is tied up with Josh's like a knot. One hand goes behind their husband to cup his ass, and the other, once again, goes to Brendon's crotch, dragging their fingers teasingly this time while they grope Josh. They're pushing the limits, seeing how far Brendon can go with their fingertips dancing along the zipper of his jeans until they do something more drastic.

Brendon isn't one to speak up. Not in the majority of situations, so what makes this one any different?

He has no idea. He doesn't have an answer, either, for why he sucks his bottom lip in and lets out a "please" after a long exhale.

The way Tyler smirks in return sends him spiraling. They peck Josh's lips one more time and slap his ass before moving back to Brendon, purposefully going slowly as they unzip his jeans and pop the buttons. They make eye contact with him the whole time just for it to settle in, make him squirm, and it works. Of course it does. Tyler's too good at this by now.

Anxiety does seep through in the slightest when they're slipping his pants down. Only a little. Enough to make him swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, then proceed with caution.

He lifts his hips so they can pull them down enough to make it past his knees, then ankles. Once they have his jeans completely off and tossed to the floor, Brendon already feels naked. His body is buzzing with multiple emotions that he can't pick out just one, so for now, he lays there trembling like prey, but somehow, in the best way possible.

"Hey," Tyler whispers.

Brendon's stomach is moving up and down with his chest, ribs feeling like razor blades, stabbing, numbing as he looks up at them.

He can't find the words for this moment. Tyler finds them for him.

"You're so hot." They say, repeating, yet meaning it as much as before.

Brendon's heart is about to explode in return. He still can't find it in himself to speak. Instead, he pushes himself up and kisses them with as much passion he could muster up, feet heavy on the mattress. They kiss him back of course, but that doesn't stop their hand from pulling Josh close and slipping beneath his underwear while their unaccompanied one holds Brendon's shoulder.

It's then, as Josh is pushing back against Tyler, where Brendon realizes that nothing was agreed upon. Is it always like this? It almost seems like Tyler and Josh are both assuming Josh will bottom, without asking.

With that in mind, Brendon is leaning away from the kiss, only centimeters apart from Tyler. Breathless, out of line, he meets eyes with them. "I want to bottom." He whispers. He's given it a lot of thought, and though he's certain he might hate it, there's no hurt in trying-- well, maybe there is. He trusts Tyler enough with it; he knows they'll make sure it's as good as it can be.

Tyler blinks a few times, nodding. "Okay." They agree. "Are you sure?"

Brendon nods, too. "You said you'll take care of me." He murmurs, reminding them. He's positive they haven't forgotten, anyways.

"I will." They assure. "Promise."

Tyler pulls their hand from out of Josh's boxers, pecking his chest before they carefully stand up from the bed.

"I'll be right back."

Brendon has no idea where they're going, but doesn't ask. They walk out of the room and opposed to worrying, wondering, he looks to Josh, and Josh looks to him. Brendon tilts his head without a word, yet somehow, it's like Josh knows exactly what that means. He's crawling over to him and sits down right on his lap-- right on his crotch-- and Brendon lets out a rough noise in response. Josh smiles, kisses him, arms slung around his shoulders like this has happened time and time again.

"Next time, you top me." He utters against his lips, ass slowly rolling over his dick, and Brendon groans, hands rushing to grab his thighs without much thought.

It feels so good, Brendon can't think.

Luckily he doesn't have to, because Tyler comes back into the room bearing. . . A towel? They keep quiet and let Brendon and Josh have their fun, more preoccupied searching through the drawer of the bedside table. It doesn't take them long to find what they need, placing a bottle of lube and a condom right onto one of the pillows. That's when they get on the bed again, behind Josh, and they're nibbling at the back of his neck absentmindedly until Brendon looks to them, finally able to come up with something.

"Why the towel?" He asks, a little awkward. He doesn't want to sound stupid. Should it be obvious?

Tyler kisses Josh's shoulder. "I need to lay it down. I just don't want the blankets to get messy."

Oh.

Brendon's pulse is defeaning, wanting to move, but it's hard to with Josh on top of him. He seems to understand though, and with a final roll to his hips (and a final groan from both of them for now) Josh gets off of him a little hazy. Brendon can't comprehend a single thing happening at this point.

He stares up at Tyler, waiting for more directions nonetheless. They don't say anything this time, only folding the towel in half and lifting Brendon slightly from the backs of his thighs, slipping it beneath him enough before laying him back down.

Because of that, it's starting to settle for him.

Tyler peppers kisses from Brendon's shin all the way to the front of his boxers, and as Brendon thinks that this is where they're going to reveal everything for them and Josh both to see, they sit straight and pull off the rest of the clothing they're wearing, even the Jim socks. It's then, Brendon understands what they're doing. Tyler is catching every quiver being this close that there's no way they couldn't tell how nervous he is to be the first one naked. They're stripping down for his sake, not their own.

It's cuter than it should be. Tyler notices everything.

They meet eyes with him as they turn to face Josh, hands feeling their husband up through his underwear. Josh smiles, in pure bliss, truly. So Tyler continues, middle finger, pointer finger, and thumb sneaking to his frontside, stroking him as light as the wind. That's what makes Josh crumble. That. He emits the weakest noise imaginable, face scrunching up with a slack jaw. "Fuck," he grumbles past the gibberish leaving his lips.

Tyler places open mouth kisses on his collarbone and neck, hand soft, unlike Josh's cock. "Do you want me to eat you out?"

Josh whines at the simple idea of it. He fucking whines. And Brendon almost does just watching-- he needs to be touched. He's aching. Watching this take place is torture.

"Mhm," Josh nods eagerly.

Tyler does, as well. "Be patient." They decide, hands carefully pulling down his boxers without warning, and now everything is on show for Brendon. Josh is hairless, pink, begging, and Brendon moans quietly through his exhale at the sight. He's so good. So good. "I'll get to you soon. For now, watch me."

Josh blubbers like a damn baby when Tyler pulls away and focuses on Brendon instead, cheeks just as pink as his dick when he and Brendon meet eyes for a split second. Humiliated, maybe, that Tyler will leave him this vulnerable for all three of them to witness. The thing is though, everyone can easily tell that Josh likes it. Neither him nor Tyler feels bad. Josh sticks to the back or their spouse like glue, hand scratching into the blankets in order to refrain himself from doing anything.

Tyler's easy when it comes to Brendon. Declicate. But so horny. They tower over him, debating in their mind about something, and Brendon allows them to. Allows them to stare. Allows them to figure it out on their own.

It takes a moment, but they come to an answer.

Tyler's fingers drag over Brendon's chest and to his chin, hovering over his lips. "Like Josh did," they explain. Brendon doesn't quite understand until they're looking at him expectantly. That's what reminds him of his birthday, when Josh opened his mouth and invited Tyler in. So, with that in mind, Brendon's doing the same, much more hesitantly than Josh did, but with the same amount of eagerness, definitely.

Tyler's fingers are strangers, but soon, get comfortable. There's only two, Brendon can handle it, and he does. He coats their fingers with as much saliva as he can despite the dryness in his mouth from the nerves. Tyler never pulls their stare away, either. Them and Brendon are both meeting eyes the entire time, all the way until they're bringing their hand away to inspect what he's done.

When they do, they're smiling in a small manner. "Good job." They praise. He likes it, blushing more from his ears to his chest.

That's when Tyler's other hand, clean from spit, is teasing around the waistband of his underwear until they're slowly pulling them down. Brendon is lifting his hips up for them, letting Tyler bring his boxers all the way to his ankles, off his ankles, thrown to the side without much thought. They're too focused on him. They're finally seeing him. All of him. They're finally seeing something else, as well, and despite Brendon knowing the last thing Tyler or Josh would want to do is bring attention to it, he was sure it would happen anyway, and it does. That's another thing that makes his heart nearly burst from his chest. Not simply the nudity part of it.

Tyler's eyes wander, observe, and Josh's do too from over their partner's shoulder.

Carefully, Tyler is running their thumb over scar tissue, looking to Brendon for an answer that won't come. Maybe later, though.

"You're so handsome." They settle for. He's glad. He's feverish.

Brendon doesn't know how to respond despite that, and Tyler probably saw this coming.

"Can I finger you for a little bit?" They wonder, letting the tension fizzle. Brendon's dick twitches at the thought of being properly touched, so he nods without delay, earning a smile. "Promise me you won't cum. Not yet." They continue.

Brendon bites on his bottom lip, shaking his head. "Not yet." He repeats.

Tyler nods, fingers still slick on one hand while the other lifts his legs enough for them to recieve assured access to his ass. Which, yes, Brendon is so flustered by that he doesn't even want to think about it. He can't believe any of this is happening right now.

But when Tyler presses against him and slowly teases in circles, maybe he can.

He's easy. Truly. They don't even have a finger in yet and Brendon is moaning softly through his breaths, eyes closing with furrowed brows. He's begging without words, only his jittery hips and dancing shoulders. Tyler receives the message luckily, loud and clear. Their finger does one last little tease before they're pushing, asserting, making Brendon groan pathetically. By the time Tyler's inside him, it feels like they're where they should be, and Brendon's forearms cover his face in embarrassment at the thought.

It's as Tyler is slowly pumping their finger in and out where Brendon hears Josh whining, again. He opens his eyes just enough to watch him look miserable clung around Tyler, in desperate need like Brendon. He's pink, pink, pink. Pink all around. His dick is on display for him and it's pleading for action, both color-wise and stance. His chest and ears are exposing how flustered he truly is. He's pink in the lips and tongue while he tries to gain Tyler's attention, too, and still, Tyler is focused on Brendon right now. They need to be.

"Be patient." They tilt their head back specifically to tell him so.

Josh sighs in defeat, nodding along.

Tyler's attention is right back to Brendon afterwards, leaning down to kiss his chest. "Are you alright, baby?" They wonder. They're being so gentle with him that Brendon nearly pouts. Nearly. When Tyler keeps moving their finger though, it slips his mind.

"Yeah," he breathes out finally, controlling a moan.

"I'm adding another." They mention. Not ask. Brendon is sure at this point Tyler knows he can handle it. Especially if he's planning to bottom, he needs to handle it.

The second finger is a little rough. It's hardly wet anymore and there's a sting that runs all the way to the back of Brendon's neck as it happens. He shivers, grumbles practically, and his whole body tenses up around Tyler's hand like a month drawn to light. A very desperate, lonely moth. Tyler immediately understands and is grabbing the lube, squirting some generously around the fingers that are already inside him. It helps though, for sure. As Tyler's bringing their fingers in and out, they make sure to collect as much lube as possible, allowing Brendon to grow comfortable to it opposed to curling up like he's scared.

With the extra lubricant, the ease of it starts to be a little too good. Brendon's hips keep bucking slightly without control, and his hands dig into the blankets beneath him, shy moans coming out when he can't keep them in any longer.

Tyler's swift, curled, stretching, and Brendon is a cloud, moss on a stone, a lily pad amongst the water. Natural. There's little shame left in his shallow body. He's letting loose and giving them exactly what they want; the visuals of his pleasure. He knows Tyler and Josh both love it-- especially Tyler. He won't say a word about the stiffness that hits his leg.

They kiss his knee, lean into his ear. "One more." They whisper.

Brendon trembles at the thought, never having gone that far. He wouldn't try on his own, either. He needs a leading role.

Tyler's definitely, definitely that leading role.

They squirt a bit more lube onto their fingers, for good measure, for Brendon. It's their ring finger, but the right one. Brendon is sure if it was their left, they'd proceed with caution. Right now, they still are, yet it's not for the same reason. Tyler wants Brendon to take it well. He wants to, too.

When they're pushing into him though, his reflex is to hide. The stretch is unholy. This whole situation is. Brendon's cheeks flare up in heat, canine tooth digging hard into his bottom lip. He tries to focus on that sensation instead of the one happening below.

Ironically enough, it helps. Brendon almost draws blood before Tyler is slow and steady, in then out. He's full already, confused on how there's more to come. He still groans from pleasure despite that, in another dimension when his eyes are closed, simply riding the waves. Well, a dimension where the waves are Tyler's fingers.

Then, they hit that spot, and just by the abrupt sound Brendon lets out alone, Tyler's pulling their fingers completely away from him.

They're gone, he's incomplete.

"Are you doing okay?" They wonder when Brendon looks up at them with lazy eyes. He nods, fucking aching at the cock, terrified but exhilarated for what he's certain is soon to come. "Do you feel ready?" Tyler continues, always wanting to make sure he's okay. Prepared. Giving consent in any little way.

Brendon's heart practically skips a beat. He's too far immersed to turn back now, but he's also too far invested to even think about turning back, anyways.

"I'm ready, Ty." He promises. There's a small quiver in his voice only because they've managed to make him feel quiet, more so than he has already been. It isn't bad. He's quiet because it's the exact reaction they're earning. Attentive and eager. He's both, proudly.

Tyler nods in return, wiping their fingers off on the towel. Brendon sees the way hesitation hits them like a truck right then and there. This is the one time it's sickeningly visible. Still, Tyler is okay. They're breathing through it with a huff, body stiff for the first time that night as their hands go to the waistband of their boxer briefs (which, really, are already so revealing Brendon doesn't fully understand why they're this hung up about taking them off). They're slipping their underwear down slowly, like it's hazardous, and Josh must be aware of how much this means to them because he's kissing their shoulder over, and over, and over again, hand roaming around their stomach as he whispers sweet nothings into ear. Maybe they're not nothings. They're important. To Tyler. To Tyler, this is probably the biggest step for them.

Brendon gets it. He has to. It's part of the relationship.

After a moment, a moment quiet enough to only catch the sporadic heartbeats in the room, Tyler is as bare as the day they were born. Their posture loses its confidence but they're trying to gain it back quickly to make it seem like this isn't as big of a hurdle as it might be.

Very obviously, it is big.

Brendon tries not to look because he knows it's the last thing they want. He's only human, though. He's attracted to what he sees. Reassured, even, by the amount of hair revealed, making him less self-conscious about his own that he has down below.

It's then, too, where Brendon learns about tattoos that were never mentioned before. On one side of their upper thigh, only a couple inches away from their crotch, it reads, "OFF LIMITS." and on the other side, "DO NOT TOUCH." Brendon almost wants to laugh because it's nearly amusing, yet he's not sure if it's supposed to be, so he won't.

He doesn't get anymore time to observe since Tyler is grabbing his chin and titling it up to move his focus. Brendon's lucky he even got to see that much considering all the limitations they put around that area.

Clearly.

They kiss his lips and keep him preoccupied on that. He can hear their hands grabbing and ripping open the condom wrapper in the meantime, but he lets them continue, since this is the way they're most comfortable doing things. If they're comfortable, he is comfortable.

Tyler presses kisses to his chin a few times, and Brendon gets a chill down his spine when they put some lube against his ass. It's somehow cold, causing a chill, yet he thinks the chill can potentially be from something else. Most definitely from something else. It is without a doubt, especially when Tyler presses the tip of their finger back inside of him for a quick second before pulling him close.

They stare down at him, one hand pushing a strand of hair away from his forehead that is just barely slick with sweat, the other doing what Brendon only imagines is rolling the condom on. And he swallows thick, lips swollen, head clouded.

Eventually, Tyler is kissing him one last time. They look taken over by a whole other force. Their eyes are hooded and their breaths are shallow. This is it; Brendon knows that once they break away.

"Stay relaxed." They advise. "I have you." They whisper, mere inches away from his lips.

Brendon is stumbling at the words, immediately sitting up in the slightest to look at Josh. He seems confused, intrigued. Brendon reaches for him. "Hold my hand." He rushes out. He's finally reaching the part he has worried about the most. He wants Josh. He needs both of them to push through the dreadful paranoia stuck around his his neck.

Josh gives him a reassuring smile, intertwining their fingers together.

Brendon already feels better.

A little embarrassed, but better.

When he lays back down, Tyler is towering. One hand at his side, the other down low, preparing. "Ready?" They ask.

Brendon's natural response is to say 'be gentle' or 'go slow' yet quickly, he comes to the realization that there's no need for that. Tyler will do everything in their power to make this a good experience for him and he knows that. He knows. So, he squeezes Josh's hand for a split second, nodding.

"Yeah." He consents.

Tyler's eyes flicker to observe his, giving Brendon one last kiss until they're positioned. With a final thought and a sharp inhale of breath from both ends, they're carefully pushing inside of him.

Brendon's whole fucking body quakes.

He emits what can only be described as a groan, a wince, and a grumble all at once. Without question either, his hand is tensing around Josh, and his other one is grabbing Tyler's forearm to dig his nails into. There's a sting, a stretch. It travels up his back all the way to his throat, strangling him. His only reaction is to let it out. Every noise that builds up, and every jumble of words that make no sense whatsoever. Brendon is gasping, brows tightly knitted together with his mouth falling as Tyler slowly pushes in more.

His exhales stutter, eyes welling up with tears unbeknownst to him. Fuck.

Brendon trembles, like the earth during a disruption. He can't help it. It's his natural response.

"Are you okay?" Tyler questions right beside his ear, pressing their lips against the skin behind it.

Brendon can't answer. He genuinely can't. He's choked up from a sharp sensation and nothing else. It's mind-numbing. There's fog way up high and his arm moves from holding Tyler's, falling over his eyes as he nods, not okay but hopeful that it will be okay, soon.

"Do you want me to keep going?" They wonder in such a soft tone Brendon considers actually crying.

He holds Josh's hand as tight as ever, nodding another time.

Tyler hums. They bring their hips back simply to push them forward again, lightly. It's so delicate and Brendon carefully peeks over his arm while his body twitches, catching the way Tyler holds his body and moans themself at the feeling. They like it. They love it. Perhaps that's why he doesn't find this terrible. He's making Tyler feel good and that makes him feel good.

They keep going, careful for him. It's a lot to handle (both mentally and physically) but Brendon repeats Tyler's words again and again in his head. Stay relaxed. I have you. Stay relaxed. I have you.

It's true, and Brendon follows through.

His thighs shake from the overwhelming sensations, a groan getting caught on its way out. Tyler is slow and caring, perfectly. Enough for Brendon to warm up to all of this and finally start digging his feet into the mattress from curiosity opposed to discomfort. He'd say Tyler can tell, because when Brendon stops hiding under his arm and moves it from his face, revealing the hue of colors dominating his cheeks, Tyler is finally, finally, finally-- Brendon can't stress it enough-- bringing Josh into this once more.

It's then where Brendon suddenly realizes the reason why they had Josh off to the side for so long was for them to focus on Brendon's comfortablity. Not because they simply find more interest in him, or are only busy pleasuring him like he'd seen in videos.

This is different.

Astoundingly different.

Tyler guides Josh to the front of them, having their husband straddle over Brendon's hips which drives him mad. Their dicks graze one another, giving Brendon the friction he has desperately been needing this whole time. He groans because of it, and it doesn't help that Tyler's deep inside him, settled, snug. Brendon can't handle even a second of no attention, either. He squeezes Josh's hand and pushes against Tyler when they become preoccupied, instantly gasping because he hadn't realized that Tyler wasn't fully inside him until now. And he finished it. Made it happen all on his own.

Brendon's blood nearly runs cold.

Tyler moans through their breath, distracted by his action, but trying to get Josh the exact way they want him. They manage to please Brendon while they do so by rocking their hips in the slightest since they can tell he's impatient, and afterwards, they're pushing between Josh's shoulder blades in order for him to be bent down with his ass in the air.

Again, his and Brendon's cocks meet in the middle. It feels good. Exactly what they both need. It's obvious when their groans collide in a harmony, ringing through the air like an echo.

Josh's face slowly falls into Brendon's neck, breath hot as he exhales against him. It causes goosebumps to go across both arms, and even more so when Josh kisses his skin.

This is better than anything else.

Brendon closes his eyes, the weight of Josh's body on top of his own being more comforting than it probably should. He considers that it might be because having that space only for Tyler and Josh both to look at him during a situation so foreign is anxiety inducing. With Josh pressed against him, he's safe. Complete. This is right. More than right.

Josh is a mess against his neck, though. He's a baby bird waiting to be fed, chirping inside his nest. He plants open mouth kisses all along the skin he can reach, hair everywhere, exhaling through his whines. He's unbelievably desperate, submissive.

One of Tyler's hands grips at a place just beneath Brendon's hips where any-- if any-- pudge lays. The other moves to Josh, his ass, treating it as if it's a prized possession by how lightly they're grazing their fingers over it. And Josh is in Brendon's ear, chirping, chirping, chirping. He knows what's to come. He's sticking his backside up even higher for them, more eager than ever.

Tyler kisses him. His ass. Right at the most sensitive area.

Josh crumbles, moans, and Brendon is begging to watch but when Tyler pulls away only to go back in with a little more force this time, Brendon, also, crumbles. He and Josh are both baby birds. Now being fed, yet they're selfish and want more.

Tyler's eyes close as they keep thrusting, slow, at ease, lips loose while they continue teasing Josh. Just by the look on their face Brendon can tell Tyler is in their happy place, feeling so good they almost don't know what to do with themself or their husband. Still, they push past their own desires and carefully lick all the way from behind Josh's balls to his asshole, making Josh's fingers clench around Brendon's in an astounding pleasure.

"Oh, m--" He can get barely anything out.

Brendon breathes heavily when Tyler, then, is jutting their hips forward. He tries his hardest not to get lost in all of it and turns his head despite that in order to kiss Josh's temple as best as he can. He'll be here for Josh because Josh is here for him. And as Tyler is thrusting, they're also licking. Tongue on the inside opposed to the other way around.

Josh is in heaven. Moans like heaven. He is heaven, Brendon decides.

He's so preoccupied by that thought that he almost doesn't catch the way Tyler's hand moves from Josh's ass to his dick, thumb working in circles around his tip, causing such a deep rooted groan from Josh Brendon is almost jealous. Almost. That's until they're stroking Josh softly a few times only to do the same to Brendon. Together. Both of them at once. One against the other.

Brendon's thighs tremble when it happens, and he moans loud enough to where embarrassment reaches him at the cheeks. He doesn't care, though. This is bliss.

Tyler pulls away from Josh to look at the two of them. Their husband is pressed against Brendon like he's a part of him, nose in his neck, fingers intertwined with his, and Brendon his all furrowed brows and glossy lips, meeting eyes with Tyler while a hammering heartbeat pounds against his chest.

Tyler is ruthless. They know too well what kind of power they hold upon the two beneath them, and they get off at even the idea of it. They're staring down, down at the desperate and needy, a thumb slipping its way inside Josh while they push into Brendon slow, but forcefully. And they moan. Of course they do. They're being fulfilled with so much pleasure it's intoxicating. Especially as their hand continues, up, down, up, down, giving Josh and Brendon exactly what they want.

They're sure of it when the moans keep coming. "You both like that, don't know?"

Brendon is lightheaded at the question. This is everything and more. He's not sure how much longer he can last with his abdomen growing this tight.

He and Josh both nod in response, so pathetic in the most perfect way possible.

Tyler's pleased. Always.

They move their hand away, grabbing the lube beside them and squirting some directly onto Brendon's stomach. He wonders why they would do that-- he's so messy now in multiple ways-- but he doesn't care enough to ask or decline. They just catch peeking eyes with their own hooded ones, saying, "Do it to each other. Yourselves." They command.

Tyler doesn't give either of them a chance to respond, they simply rock their hips and lick into Josh once more, in a blink.

The two of them are clouded to the point where they almost can't think entirely. They're panting, moaning through their breaths, sweating in the slightest. They can't concentrate. Brendon can't at least; not until Josh finally brings his hand away from Brendon's in order to instead get some lube, and when he does, he's slowly moving it to their cocks, grabbing ahold of the two of them.

"Fuck," Brendon murmurs before he could stop himself, unbelievably overwhelmed by all of the sensations. He won't last much longer. He can't. Not when it's this good.

"Is it okay?" Josh whispers, speaking for the first time in a good while.

Brendon can hardly process it. He's fuzzy. Gone. Completely out of it. "Mhm." He reassures nonetheless, exhaling with a whimper when Tyler thrusts another time, harder than before. Still, somehow delicate. They're definitely not going nearly as rough as they can, he's sure of it. "It's--" they do it again, leading him to groan at the feeling. "It's so good." He murmurs, breathless, nowhere to be found.

Josh hums absentmindedly, kissing his neck for the sake of it as his hand moves, gaining all of Brendon's undivided attention. It's phenomenal, god, it's fucking good. He lifts his hips a bit for Josh to be able to do it better, and that's when Tyler grabs his leg and brings it to their side, another position, another flood of rapture.

Brendon is a volcano, hot, ready to explode.

He opens his eyes for a moment to observe the situation, seeing the way Tyler's head falls against Josh as they moan, perfectly content inside of Brendon, which is such an absurd accomplishment to him that he has to throw the thought aside.

They're happy like that, enjoying it, all of it, but they have a determination within them to please both of their partners, not only Brendon. And although Tyler obviously is almost entirely preoccupied with him alone, they push through, tongue going from pale skin to something much more explicit. The way Josh moans in return is intoxicating. Brendon wants another drink of it, please. It's almost as if Tyler knows too, because they're pulling back simply to spit right on him, on his asshole. Josh shivers from this, and Brendon can feel his Adam's apple bobbing against him, hand jacking the two of them off at a slower pace.

"Fuck. . ." Is all Josh produces.

Brendon watches hazily as Tyler sticks two of their fingers into their mouth to get them wet (they must really have a thing for that) before carefully slipping one of them inside of Josh, no warning, no question. Josh is nothing but groans. It's so deep at first then trails off to something questionable, and it drives Brendon insane.

He closes his eyes again, letting the pleasure come blindly. He knows it will. If he looks, it's only a distraction. Now, he has time to focus. Focus on Josh's warm, sporadic breath on his shoulder. Focus on his wet hand jerking both of them off at the same time, painfully sluggish, yet drastically helpful. Focus on Tyler's fingers digging into his skin as they hold his leg to their side. Focus on-- jesus, fuck-- them pushing themself in and out of him, a roll to their hips every now and then when they get the chance.

It's indefectible.

Sweat matts his forehead like he'd been on a run for a half hour, and his toes are practically ripping through the mattress at this point from how hard they're digging. Brendon can't help it. Not at all.

Josh moans in his ear as if he's telling a secret. Brendon listens. Encouraging him with a nod, a mutual noise in response.

Josh nearly smiles because of this, breath against Brendon's face as he lifts his head to look at him. He doesn't say a word. Cheeks flushed and neck red, he leans down to kiss him. They breathe out their satisfaction in unison, lip over another, bottom one snug between. Brendon wants to push further but when Josh's hand gets even weaker, Brendon pulls away. Josh's features fall into a confused state.

"Faster," he emits, a whisper.

Josh seems lost at first. When Brendon reaches a free hand down to guide Josh's though, he gets it. Brendon doesn't take his hand away, either. They do it together. He's writhing against the sheets when the pace finally picks up, and gasps as Tyler thrusts into him the hardest they have the whole night.

He's buzzing with an indescribable amount of euphoria.

Josh's eyes close, mouth doing the exact opposite. Brendon watches as best as he can, the way his lips twitch and his brows furrow to express the tension in the rest of his body. He can cum just looking at him. God, he's perfect, so good, so sexy-- Brendon is going through a whirlwind of emotions.

Josh goes to kiss him again, only really getting one or two in before he's falling apart. Their noses are pushed against one another, and as Josh is moaning, Brendon is sharing his breath. "Ty--" Josh isn't able to do shit. He can't even speak. "Ty--" He's trying. Brendon finds it more arousing than he'd think. He wants him to keep struggling to get it out, because he sounds so needy, and desperate, and incomplete.

With Brendon holding his hand, he feels every quiver coming from him. Josh is sensitive. Meek when he's bare, eager when he's warm. He'd like to praise him for it, tell him how great he is, but there's no time, and definitely no comfortability when it comes to that, yet. For now, the encouraging words rest in his mind, few disruptions considering there's nothing else he can think about.

"Bren," Josh mutters, head slowly lolling into the crook of his neck once more. He doesn't say a thing after that despite the expectation, he only moans like it's a cautionary tale.

Brendon, on the other hand, is not as easy-going.

When Tyler lifts his leg as it starts falling and brings him in close, rolling their hips, fast, Brendon's whole world lights up.

Unlike Josh, he can get it out. "Tyler--" it's cut off by such a vivacious groan. His unaccompanied hand goes to grip at whatever part of their body he can reach, which happens to be the cusp of their shoulder. Brendon's nails dig into their skin unbeknownst the him. He doesn't care. He's too focused on the what feels like an explosion in his chest, and a shaking pleasure throughout his whole being. "Oh, my god. Fuck." He's gone. In the stars. Dancing with the sun.

Tyler pulls away from behind Josh to observe him. "Right there?" They wonder, pushing back into him at an angle.

Brendon opens his mouth simply for a croak to emit, nothing more.

Tyler takes that as a yes.

They hold his hip enough to get some more force in, and holy-- Brendon trembles like he's stuck outside in the winter. His hips jut up each time they thrust back into him, and for the first time that night, it doesn't seem like they're holding back. Tyler's doing it all. Pounding. They're pounding into him, and it's good.

Brendon can't stop moving, either. His legs shake, his toes curl, his thighs twitch. When Josh starts planting small kisses on a sensitive part of his neck while picking up the pace of their hands, he's ready to clock out.

Sounds that are weak and mostly revolve around "ah" is the one thing coming from Brendon. "Uh-- uh-- ah--" he can't keep his eyes open for a second despite wishing to look at Tyler doing all of this to him. They come to a close, and once they do, the sensations come in waves that are sure to drown him out.

They do.

Brendon thinks about the fact that Tyler's with him, against him, inside of him. He can feel them with every move, brushing along, hitting heaven and making home in that area. They're determined. So much so that Brendon thinks they might be getting a little too lost in it because their fingernails dig into his hip to the point where there's a sharp sting, but it's all for a reason. That sting comes with a great force, and Tyler moves in hard, the hardest they've done the whole night, and Brendon counts like there is a timer about to go off.

One. . . He's close.

Two. . . His jaw falls slack.

Three. . . He's shaking with a gasp.

Four. . . He's cumming.

Brendon's body is practically pulsating because of it. His moan falls short as he gets caught up, and his ears ring as if there's been a bomb set off.

He lays limp, in mere seconds.

Tyler's grip loosens easily, watching the way Brendon's chest rises and falls, catching how he's visibly tingling.

When Brendon moves his hand from holding onto his and Josh's dicks, Tyler goes to hold Josh's instead. He can't concentrate on any part of it, he can only truly concentrate on the specks white clouding everything, but what he can tell is that whatever Tyler is doing, works. In just a few moments, Josh is whimpering like a sick puppy, nodding, nodding, nodding, moving back and forth against Tyler's visiting fingers. "Yes," Josh likes it. "Yes." He loves it.

Brendon does too, yet his attention is quickly drawn to something else when Tyler begins to rolls their hips into him again. He almost forgot they were there. He almost forgot they need to cum, too.

What he certainly didn't know is how uncomfortable this would be. He's done for the night, he can't handle any more, but Tyler uses him to get off, and he allows it, because it's the least he can do. They're being careful, they must know this would be a lot for him, and he can feel the hesitation in their actions when he lets out a displeased noise through all constellations.

They moan though, they sound dreamy. Brendon can't mind.

"Ty," Josh whines, right in his ear. "Harder."

Brendon blinks, drifts off in the midst of it, awakens when Tyler thrusts gently.

"Mhm, mhm--" Josh is vocal. Nonstop.

Though, his gasps cut himself off. Multiple of them, blending together, matching the sporadic beat of his chest. Brendon feels the heat fall onto his stomach, mixing with his own cum and the lube that was left there. It's gratifying, in a way. Sweet.

Josh's panting is so loud Brendon almost misses the sounds Tyler makes when they keep going. They're in, out, in, out, in, deep, twitching, exhaling, desperate for breath soon after, and he winces when they tremble inside, pushing further into him until all the strain in their body is gone. Brendon gets some back from that, yet doesn't have a single complaint.

They let out a subtle grumble while they gasp for breath, finally pulling away from Brendon fully once the trembling stops.

Then, the only sound left in the room is panting.

Well, and the movie playing in the background (which Brendon completely forgot about at this point).

**Trigger warning over.**

It's hypnotizing. Like a lullaby, almost. Brendon nearly dozes off. Nearly. That's until the ringing in his ear disappears, making everything a bit clearer, and when Josh's body weight falls on top of him, he doesn't refrain from wrapping his arms around him, needing his comfort right now. Any comfort.

Josh lets out small noises of content, clutching around Brendon in return.

It's safe.

He wants to stay like this forever. With a buzz, not from wine, but from love. He wants to always be able to hold Josh like this, and feel his skin. It's everything he could ask for.

Though, it doesn't last long.

Tyler gains Josh's attention, and in the blink of an eye, Brendon watches him cuddle up to Tyler's chest, leaning against them, bodies glued together by sweat. And Brendon lays there. Watching. And Tyler sits there, hand rubbing up and down Josh's tailbone, staring back at Brendon. They look so exhausted, and Brendon knows for certain he looks worse.

"Come here," they utter, free hand reaching out for him.

He accepts it with ease, barely able to find the motivation to move, let alone sit up.

He manages.

Brendon is careful with them, wanting comfort as soon as possible, yet wanting them comfortable, also. He makes sure not to be anywhere near their crotch, and maybe he shouldn't be worrying about it right now considering they literally were inside him only minutes ago, but he's never certain when it comes down to it.

So, he rests his side against theirs, one arm around them, head leaning onto Josh's shoulder.

Each one of them have a chest that rises and falls beautifully, skin on skin on skin. Brendon can fall asleep at any second, especially when Tyler's fingers slip into his hair, soothing him all the way to the core. He's warm. Not physically, but emotionally, too. Tyler and Josh keep him that way.

"How do you feel?" Tyler wonders, soft, for him.

Brendon nods. "Good." He murmurs.

He focuses on Josh, the way his eyes are closed, how he isn't moving a single inch. He's peaceful. His hair is all over the place, and Brendon can't wait to play with it before he falls asleep.

Tyler shifts his attention by directing Brendon to look at them. Once they're peering back and forth at one another, their thumb caresses his cheek bone. "Was it too much? I tried to go easy."

Brendon shakes his head, a tug on the corner of his mouth. "It was perfect." He reassures, heart swelling at the fact that they're so caught up on this. They promised Brendon it would be everything he needed, and are worrying as if it wasn't. "You made it perfect." He declares, referring to the subjects he was most scared about.

Tyler hums, happy. They lean down after a moment, kissing Brendon, smirking as they pull away. "It was hard." They admit.

"Why?" He mutters.

They're teasing. Sly. "You're perfect, too." They decide, nothing more.

Brendon won't ask further questions, far too tired and far too unbothered, anyways. "Thank you, Ty." He says instead, giving them as much of a hug as possible in this position.

"For what, Bren?"

He presses a kiss to their chest. "Making sure it was the best first-time I could have." He discloses, a heat burning his cheeks. "And Josh. Mostly because he sounded really. . . Good." He laughs lightly to himself after saying that, too far gone to be anxious right now. He's in a bubble, floating away. It's almost like he's on a high-- feels high.

Tyler chuckles. "I married him for a reason."

Immediately, Josh scoffs, still hazy as he shakes his head. He doesn't say a word, Brendon's not sure if he ever will the rest of the night, but he gets his point across.

As an ease hits the three of them, Tyler brushes Brendon's hair back, a glint in their eyes. "I think you two should shower before you fall asleep on me." They state with what seems like a permanent lift to their lips.

Brendon huffs, really not wanting to get out of bed. Nonetheless, he sits up. "Okay," he whispers.

Tyler's hand runs from his head all the way down his back. "Take Josh." They say, hand now resting on his ass. Brendon looks to them for a moment, then back down to Josh.

They want the two of them to shower together. Which. . . Okay. Brendon supposes he has no complaints. At this point, Josh has seen everything of his, and Brendon is almost at the same point himself. "Okay." He clears his throat, looking at Tyler, again. "One last kiss?" He wonders, giving them the best puppy eyes he could muster right now. They smile in return, leaning close until their lips meet. It's slow this time; they're savoring it. Tyler's over and under until the last one, a peck, something sweet.

"There." They say. "Now, no more stalling. Go shower. A quick one." They pat his butt twice, telling him to get up without words. "I'll hold you nice and tight once we're all clean."

That's the only thing Brendon wants right now.

With those words of encouragement, he's up, slipping off the bed almost awkwardly considering how much he isn't used to being naked. It's weird. Really weird. Self-consciousness keeps creeping over his shoulder but he warns it off-- Tyler and Josh saw everything tonight. There's nothing left to hide. Be worried about.

When he feels the lube and cum slowly sliding down his stomach, a shiver runs through his spine. It's a cringeworthy situation, and from that, he's grabbing onto Josh and pulling him off the bed.

They walk, step and step, bare, into the bathroom.

Without a word either, Josh is turning on the shower. Brendon watches with a tapping foot, hands naturally going to cover himself. They leave the bathroom door open too, because-- what's the point of closing it? Brendon catches as Tyler leaves the bedroom with the towel, walking downstairs. And yes, he watches them while they go to the first floor. He's allowed to look now, more than ever. Tyler looks good. Always. Now they're naked, and they still look good. They look better.

Brendon supposes he's bias, though.

Before he's able to think about it any more, Josh is coming over to him and grabbing his arm, pulling him into the shower. It's hot now, it's good. Water falls against his skin and he lets out a quiet moan, keeping his eyes open in order to see droplets move down Josh's body as if it's trying to showcase every great thing the has (which is a lot). Some go over the muscle in his arm, some down his chest, to his thighs, and most from his back to the curve of his ass.

Brendon is in so deep. It's always assured when he's around him and Tyler.

Despite never having showered with someone before, it is somehow comfortable. Natural. The two of them are in a haze, squirting some body wash on their hands and running it over each other as if they've done this numerous times before. Brendon's ankle twists in when Josh is rubbing body wash onto his back only to bring it lower, moving his hand to a part of him that needs to be cleaned, desperately. Brendon does the same to him after a moment. Without a word, they're taking care of each other.

As the water is falling on them and suds of soap sink through the drain, Tyler is suddenly opening the shower door and stepping in.

Brendon hadn't realized until now how big this shower actually is.

It's a bit cramped with the three of them, but it works. Tyler squirts some of the aloe vera scented soap onto themself and scrubs it in, observing him and Josh silently. This is their happy place. Truly. Well, for all three of them-- mostly Tyler.

Brendon wants to feel awkward when he knows that they're observing every inch of him. He can't be, despite that. He isn't. For the first time in his life, although being certain that naked is delicate, vulnerable, he doesn't feel so scared. It's hard when the other two just as bare as him are confident enough to not even have a single ounce of worry in their face. They're secure in themselves, maybe not always, but right now, and that's helping Brendon boost his own confidence.

Right now, he's sexy. He knows.

Tyler and Josh know, too.

Once they all are finished rinsing off, Tyler steps out of the shower first, and when Josh and Brendon follow, they hand the two of them towels. They dry off without a word, content with the lack of talking. Getting to bask in the presence of one another is enough for now.

Brendon makes sure he's completely dried off while Josh puts barely any effort in it. He just runs the towel over a few places and to his confusion, Josh is walking out and right into the bedroom. Brendon looks to Tyler for answers, seeing the way they hold the towel over themself when noticing Brendon's eyes on them. He gets it, making sure to keep his focus strictly on their face.

They come close, leaning against the counter. "He gets really tired after sex." They shrug. "He just wants to be held and taken care of. Like a baby."

"Josh is a baby." Brendon comments.

Tyler smiles, kissing his shoulder. "So are you."

Brendon holds the towel closer to himself, also covering everything they are. "Am not." He whispers.

Tylee hums. "Right. Because if I don't cuddle tonight, and play with your hair, you'll be fine." They know too well, they know it all too well. Brendon huffs. Now that they've mentioned it again, he really wants all those things.

"Shut up." Brendon grumbles, chuckling as he pushes them slightly.

"You want to be taken care of, also." They state.

Brendon has nothing left to say. They're right. Of course they are; Tyler's always fucking right. "Can we go to bed now? I'm tired. . ." He murmurs, slowly leaning his head onto them. They're warm, welcoming, giving. Tyler gives him everything he needs.

"Yeah," the utter.

They walk into the bedroom to see Josh laying beneath the covers, eyes barely able to stay open. Tyler smiles because of this, and Brendon is a about to as well, but becomes too preoccupied trying to find his boxers to slip into before bed.

"I put them in the wash." Tyler tells him.

Brendon blinks. "I was gonna wear them to bed."

"They were dirty." Tyler explains. "Wear a pair of Josh's." Brendon has no idea where they'd be, so Tyler is moving to the closet, towel tied around their waist as they grab him a pair. They're red and grey, and Brendon slips them on easily before crawling into bed. It's a little odd being only in underwear when he's typically in sweats and a hoodie, though, it's not bad. Josh is wrapping an arm around him in seconds, skin, skin, and more skin. It's nice.

Tyler sits on the bed once they undo the towel from their waist, immediately covering themself up with the corner of the blanket. Brendon watches them as they turn the lights off and grab the remote to turn the movie off as well, instead, putting it on a TV show once changing the channel.

They lay down after that, not bothering to close the door.

Jim isn't in the room, he might want in later.

Brendon feels himself fall back into that haze he was in only so long ago when Tyler's curling up to his side and slipping their fingers into his hair. He's trapped between them and Josh. He loves it.

He's nearly drifting off in just seconds from the ease of all of this. He's safe. Brendon doesn't find himself wondering where all the bad things are and how soon they're going to come again. He's focused on the good things. There's enough to last him a century if he's careful enough.

"Bren?" Tyler whispers promptly.

He hums.

With them pressed so close, he catches the way their heart is beating fast. Harsh. They're nervous.

There's a long pause; it's taking them a while to build up the courage to continue.

"Do you want to be our boyfriend?" They wonder.

Brendon's own heart speeds up when he hears that, a smile creeping its way onto his face. He's been waiting to hear that for a long, long time. He's been wondering if it would ever come. He's been praying it would come. "Yeah. Of course." He assures. "I already practically am, anyways." He chuckles lightly, Tyler's fingers in his hair acting as a lullaby to him.

"But now you really are." Josh interjects, speaking for the first time in a long while.

Brendon swallows an awkward lump in his throat. "Good." He murmurs.

Tyler nods. "Good."

Josh kisses his neck, bringing a leg over one of his. "Goodnight, boyfriend." He whispers.

Tyler also kisses him. His shoulder, then chest, twirling a strand of hair around their finger. "Goodnight, boyfriend." They repeat.

Brendon is grinning ear to ear amongst the darkness, happy. There is no way life can get better than this-- he doesn't believe it. "Goodnight." He mutters, having so many things he wants to talk about with them, but not nearly enough energy to get to do that. It's fine, though. There's always tomorrow.

And Brendon can't wait for tomorrow.