Tyler turned the television on for Brendon while they worked on their laptop. The airmatress had been put away even before he arrived, so he settled for resting on the couch, body spread out in the corner, head resting on one of the pillows.

It was fine this way.

The show is interesting enough, but he finds his eyes shifting to Tyler more often than not. He likes the way their brows pull together in thought and their lips spread apart, and that they cock their head every so often while running their hand over their hair to process something they've just read.

Tyler is nice to look at.

Brendon is tired, definitely, and they must have noticed too; they look over at him momentarily and say, "Rest."

He shakes his head in response, because although they weren't talking to one another, just basking in their presence is something he doesn't want to miss.

Yet, he falls asleep not even five minutes afterwards.

***

Brendon wakes up to an odd sensation, one that makes him scrunch his face up in disgust and groan at the feeling. He blindly begins pushing away whatever it may be, letting out a noise of displeaser while he did it.

Finally, when it wasn't working, he opens his eyes to see that it's Jim.

Jim licking his face.

Brendon sighs, slowly scratching behind his ear. He got his attention like he wanted.

He looks to the side expecting to see Tyler still working, but they're nowhere to be seen. Their laptop is wide open, laying where they once sat, on some tab that's too blurry for him to see without his glasses on.

Then, his eyebrows furrow.

Where are his glasses?

He fell asleep with them on, he knows he did. The only reasonable answer is that Tyler must have put them aside somewhere.

Brendon doesn't do a thing but stare at the ceiling, running a hand through Jim's hair. It's dark now. There's no sunshine coming through the curtains, only a television lighting up the room besides the kitchen light.

He decides not to lay there for long, because slowly, but gradually, his senses become a bit more clear and he can hear Josh and Tyler talking to one another in the other room.

Of course, this piques his interest, and so he carefully stands up from the couch-- much to Jim's dismay-- and drags his feet into the kitchen where he hears their voices coming from, quickly squinting his eyes at the harsh light when he makes it there.

Josh sits at the counter, as usual, and Tyler is cooking, as usual.

He looks back and forth between them, running a hand through his hair to try and tame the mess it's in.

It's then when Josh notices him. Brendon thinks he smiles, but really, he has no idea. He needs to find his glasses.

"Look who's finally awake." He chuckles, pulling out the stool beside his.

Brendon hums, taking up the offer and sitting down. He rubs his eyes to try and register everything, the smells, the noises, the voices. Jim sits down at his feet at this time, laying limp on his side and staring up at the three of them.

Casualty is surely there, because instead of mentioning something to Brendon, Josh and Tyler continue the conversation they were having.

"How's her new girlfriend?" Tyler wonders.

Josh shrugs at that. "I liked her. And Abby is happy, so I think everybody is."

Brendon tries to process the situation with what little he knows. He remembers Tyler saying something about Abigail being Josh's sister, and Josh did have lunch with his family today. Abigail has a girlfriend? Oh.

"Your sister?" Brendon lets out.

Josh nods. "Yeah, everyone finally met her girlfriend today. They've been together for a few months but things just weren't working out for us to meet her." He explains.

Maybe Brendon is losing his filter from being around Tyler and Josh, because the next thing he asks starts off as, "Is she. . ." He doesn't finish the question though. He quickly realizes how uncalled for it is, but Josh still, nonetheless, finishes it for him.

"A lesbian? Yeah." He mutters. Then, he laughs a little. "My parents can't catch a break."

Brendon chuckles, and so does Tyler.

"They love you both to death either way." They mutter, shaking their head playfully.

Josh smiles at that. "Yeah, they do." He traces his pointer finger along his wedding ring. "We need to have them over for dinner sometime, it's been awhile."

Tyler's stirring something in a pot that's not visible, but really, Brendon will be happy with whatever it is. "Mom is going to ask me to make chicken parmesan, I already know it." They state, setting the spoon aside and instead grabbing something else.

It's Brendon's glasses; they hand them to him without a word.

"Must be hard to have someone gush about everything you do, huh?" Josh asks jokingly.

Brendon slips his glasses on in time to see Tyler press the back of their hand to their forehead and let out a deep sigh. "So hard." They utter, looking up to the ceiling for a dramatic effect. "What ever shall I do?"

Josh cocks his head to the side. "Gush about us instead."

Tyler looks back at the two of them, nodding once. "I can do that."

Brendon's cheeks don't flush, he only smiles sheepishly. Josh, on the other hand, does smile, but instead of letting the joking subside, he pushes it further and says, "You should finish dinner first."

Tyler rolls their eyes at the remark. "You don't get any."

"You don't get any." Josh repeats. Brendon is pretty sure it's not in the same context, though. At all.

Tyler pauses for a moment at the information, them and Josh staring at one another. They push out a breath that sounds like a mix between a laugh and a scoff, shaking their head. "Fine." They whisper, going back to making dinner.

Josh chuckles, biting his lip.

***

Tyler made orange chicken and rice, and Brendon ate a lot of it. He never finished his lunch at work so really, he was more than hungry, and dinner was more than good.

The three of them are sat in the livingroom after Josh finishes washing dishes, watching a Netflix show they suggested to Brendon. Stomachs full, eyes lazy, and Jim on his designated seat. He and Josh are side-to-side while Tyler has their head in Josh's lap, playing with his hands mindlessly.

When he leans onto Brendon's shoulder though, he makes an unsatisfied noise.

"You need to shower, you stink." He says.

Brendon pulls away at that, eyebrows furrowing together in concern. "I don't stink."

Josh only looks at him.

Brendon carefully brings his neckline over his nose and sniffs. Oh. "Oh. . ." He mutters. Yeah, okay, he does stink. "It's because I've been wearing this to sleep in since the weekend."

Josh nods. "Take a shower. I'll give you some of my clothes to sleep in and I'll wash yours in the meantime."

He slowly begins sitting up, Tyler moving their head from his lap and letting go of his hands. He helps Brendon off the couch and leads him upstairs into the bedroom, where he's looking through the closet that's really just a mess of clothes and he knows that's only one person's fault.

Brendon sheepishly sits down on the corner of the bed, watching him search through everything.

"Sweatpants?" Josh asks, Brendon nods.

He pulls out a black pair of pants and a gray shirt, sits it on Brendon's lap, and begins walking towards the door.

Brendon doesn't move.

Josh looks back at him when he notices, confused.

His eyes cast downwards. "Do you think I could wear one of your. . . Uh. . . Hoodies?"

Josh smiles. "Yeah, of course." He mumbles, walking back over to the closet and taking a navy blue hoodie from off the hanger, handing it to him. "Ready?" He asks.

Brendon is content. "Yeah."

Josh brings him into the bathroom and turns on the shower. Afterwards, once it was at a good temperature, he leaves the room for a moment only to come back to give him a towel. "Tyler and I are here if you need anything." He says, carefully closing the door when Brendon nods his way.

As soon as he does, he makes sure to lock it out of paranoia of someone coming in.

Brendon tries to make everything quick. Weirdly, or maybe not weirdly, being naked under their roof isn't the most comfortable thing. Well, being naked in general isn't the most comfortable thing. Something about knowing that Josh and Tyler are just downstairs while he's wearing no clothes shakes him up in a strange way.

Once he's left in only his socks, he stares into the mirror.

He can't help it.

His hips are still jutting out, but his ribs are not visible. It's good. Hopefully Tyler can help him eat in good portions again, because he's failing miserably at that and his body is suffering.

Then, his eyes wander past his hips, and his heart might be aching. There's certain things he probably shouldn't worry about, but he does. Immensely. And he tries to push those away until their relationship becomes more intimate, yet his mind goes to these thoughts everytime.

He can only hope he's enough.

Finally, Brendon decides he should shower. The glass door makes him a bit nervous because it feels like he's more exposed than normal, but he deals with it.

There's Axe shampoo and conditioner, and aloe vera body wash. He uses each of them, scrubbing his body with his hand because there was nothing else he could possibly use, and soon enough he's rinsing away everything from his hair and skin. He turns the shower off once it's all gone, stepping out with a shiver. The cold air hits him fast, and all he wants to do is put on Josh's hoodie.

Brendon dries off as much as possible, slipping his boxers on and then the sweatpants.

Knowing they're Josh's clothes makes his heart warm, and he finds a sense of comfort from the information. He finds even more comfort once he puts the shirt and hoodie on. It fits him well.

He dries his hair by ruffling it through the towel until it's not dripping and is sticking out every direction.

It's good enough.

He gathers his clothes and slowly makes his way out of the bathroom once he slips his glasses back on. Josh and Tyler's bedroom door is open, so he walks inside in a timid manner, biting his lip and curling his toes.

They're wrapped around each other in the bed when he walks in; Tyler's arm around Josh's shoulders, and Josh's legs between theirs.

They both notice him, and instantly, Tyler's pulling away from Josh and getting off the bed to gather their clothes so they can take a shower themself. They grab a pair of briefs and a shirt, passing by Brendon to enter the bathroom.

He and Josh watch them walk away, and afterwards, once the door closes behind them, they look back at one other.

Josh opens his arms with a small smile.

Brendon purses his lips, deciding to lay all his clothes at the edge of the bed. He looks to Josh one more time before slowly crawling onto the bed and allowing him to wrap his arms around his back. They lay chest-to-chest, and Josh hums, saying, "You're cute."

Brendon shakes his head. "You're delusional." He brackets his legs on each of his side and breathes him in.

"You need to learn how to take compliments." Josh whispers, running his hand through Brendon's damp hair, taking out all the tangles.

"I don't know how." He replies.

Josh hums. "I say you look cute, and you're supposed to say I know."

"But I'm not." Brendon states, sitting up opposed to being so close. He tries not to dwell on the fact that he's on Josh just like he was with Tyler this morning.

Josh shakes his head in disagreement. "You're really handsome. In every way. Not only that, but you're hot too. So you got that going for you." He says, easily, and Brendon's entire body flushes because, fuck, he hasn't ever been called hot before and when it's coming from someone he thinks is. . . Well, hot, it makes him unnervingly flustered.

Brendon hides his face in his hands. "Oh, my gosh." He whispers.

His heart is beating so loudly.

Josh pulls his hands away from himself. "You don't think you're hot?"

Brendon's eyes widen. "No, no I don't. I'm not."

Josh rests his hands on his thighs, and Brendon's body trembles at the touch. "You're hot. Believe me." He mutters, gently rubbing him up and down. "Take the compliment."

Brendon shakes his head, the first thing coming out of his mouth being, "No, you're hot." And instantly, he's burning up from how much he's blushing.

Josh smiles up at him. "I know."

Brendon huffs. "I don't like you."

Josh only smiles wider. "Yes you do."

"Yes, I do." He says with a sigh, slowly moving back down so their chests are pressed together again. He rests his head on Josh's pec, wrapping an arm over his stomach. Maybe he can be comfortable in the their bed. Maybe. "Tell me more about your family." He suddenly whispers. Really, just wanting to change the subject.

Josh nods against him. "Well, we're really close, really invested in each other's lives. They respect my decisions and embrace them, and I do the same with theirs." He utters, slowly starting to massage Brendon's scalp. He likes it. "We just get along really well and I'm glad. I don't know what I'd do without them. They accept me for who I am and it's all I can ever ask for, you know?"

Brendon hums, still a bit flushed but he's trying hard to forget about it. "Tyler calls your mom, Mom." He states, because it's something he noticed.

Josh breathes. "Yeah, they do." He shrugs. "They're really close to my family, and my mom is just like another mom for them. She cares about them a lot. A lot." He sounds happy. "All my family does."

Brendon is pleased at the information. "Does your family. . . You know. . ."

Hopefully Josh understands, because he feels awkward going any further.

"Yeah, they do." He answers. "I wouldn't be on such good terms with them if they didn't respect Tyler's feelings. They were really confused at first, but it just took time. Now it's gotten to the point where if someone doesn't understand, or doesn't take the time of day to understand, they get upset." He yawns. "They want the best for them, and I appreciate it."

"That's good." Brendon whispers.

A supportive family is very empowering, he would say, and he's glad Tyler and Josh have that, or at least Josh. But, it seems like Tyler gets it from their end as well.

"My family knows about you," Josh then mutters.

Brendon feels his blood stop pumping. "What? They-they do?"

He nods, brushing his hair back. "Yeah. As our friend." He bites his lip momentarily. "I'm just easing them into it, because they know we've been with other people, but never like this."

Brendon pauses. "Your family knows you and Tyler have been with other people. . .?"

Josh purses his lips. "I guess that's kind of weird, but like I said, we're really close. There's no reason for them not to know, because it's a big part of our lives, and I'd rather them hear it from me then interpret it the wrong way."

It's weird, definitely.

"If we have them over for dinner soon, you should meet them." He says. "It'll probably just be my parents, but."

Brendon emits a distressed noise at the information. "That sounds very intimidating." He whispers, holding onto Josh's shirt tighter than before. He's thought about meeting their parents a lot, but there's so many things around that which frighten him. Brendon is definitely not comfortable telling his own family about Tyler and Josh, but that's because he isn't close with them, and they would definitely not understand.

They definitely wouldn't try to understand, either.

"I know," Josh mumbles, playing with his hair. "I don't want you to unless you're comfortable, but I think you would really like them, and they would really like you."

Brendon sighs, nodding. "They sound nice."

"They are." He assures.

It doesn't take long for Tyler to come back into the room, only wearing black briefs and a thin shirt. They gather Brendon's clothes from the bed along with theirs, tossing them into the laundry basket. "I'll wash these." They utter before walking out the door with the basket.

Josh watches them walk out and says, "They're hot."

Brendon takes a moment to process it. He nods. "They are."

Josh smiles at that, cheeks high and colored. "You're getting better at this."

He grins, tucking his face further into the warmth of his neck. "I'd hope so." He mumbles against him, foot bouncing because of course he can't stay calm.

"You should tell them when they come back in." Josh suggests.

Brendon chuckles. "You're funny."

Josh hums, mindlessly pressing a few kisses to his forehead and hairline, cradling his face. His heart rate increases just a little-- okay, no, a lot. Kissing in a bed can lead to many things, and he's not ready. Or maybe he's letting his mind run too much. This is harmless. But this is what he is afraid of.

Luckily, Tyler comes back into the room and Josh pulls away, smirking at them. "Brendon says you're hot."

The latter flushes, eyes wide. "Shut up," he grumbles into his chest.

He can hear Tyler chuckle. "What have you two been talking about?" They ask, closing the door.

"How sexy you are." Josh teases.

Brendon slowly turns around to look at them, Josh's hand falling at his waist. They connect eyes with one another and the corner of their lips turn upward in a sly manner. "I am pretty sexy." They state.

Brendon's red from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. Even if it is true, it feels odd to say it outloud.

He pauses at the realization-- if he can even call it that. Tyler is sexy. It's not surprising, but he's just never exactly thought about it like that. Or maybe he has too much. It seems like all he can ever think about is how attractive them and Josh are, and all he ever focuses on is how captivating every movement is. He supposed that's a big part of a relationship, sexual attraction, but for Brendon there has been very little exploration of sexuality.

It's never too late to try, he thinks.

"Get your sexy ass in bed." Josh then says. "I'm tired."

Tyler glances back to Brendon, eyebrows furrowing a bit in concern. "Are you alright sleeping in here tonight with us?"

He bites his lips, a gradual lump growing in his throat. He doesn't know what it is.

He'll be okay. He's sure of it.

"Yeah." He breathes.

They nod. Jim is already fast asleep in his own bed at the foot of theirs, and so Tyler sluggishly turns on the television they have in here, putting on once again another show he's never seen before (and makes sure the volume is rather low) before turning the lights off and crawling in bed.

Brendon tries not to focus on the harsh beat of his heart, he instead follows both of their movements to figure out what position is best. He moves as far as he possibly could to give them their space, decide what they'd like, but it's then when the television lights up Josh's face enough for Brendon to notice he's looking right at him, leaning on his elbow, perched.

"Think I can lay on you again? That was pretty damn comfortable." He questions, lightly laughing.

He's smiling with his eyes, and really, he can't say no.

"Okay." Brendon whispers.

Josh hums, happy. He slowly throws a leg over him and tucks his head into his right side, pulling the covers up to his shoulders. Brendon makes sure to move a bit closer to the center of the bed so he and Josh wouldn't end up on the floor after setting his glasses aside, and slowly he can feel Tyler scooting towards them. They lay on their side, hand resting on Brendon's bicep, breath on his neck.

This works, he'd say.

He can feel both of their hearts beating against him, and he knows he's not alone. He won't be, especially not when Tyler's finger trace over his lips momentarily. They kiss his cheek, once, twice, and say, "Goodnight." Before rubbing their nose in circles a few times on his skin.

Brendon can't catch a break, but he's not sure he wants to.

"Goodnight."

***

Brendon wakes up with no weight on his chest, but one at his side. He opens his eyes drowsily only to notice Josh is nowhere to be seen, just himself and Tyler wrapped up together in bed. There's little sun coming through because of the dark curtains, yet he's able to catch a few things the longer he's awake, like how the television is no longer on, and the bedroom door is open.

He lets out a small croak from the back of his throat, stretching his legs out.

Tyler's definitely awake. They're scrolling through something on their phone, scratching their chest mindlessly.

Wait.

Brendon moves his fingers that are under the blanket-- but also on Tyler's stomach-- and realizes that oh, my god they're not wearing a shirt anymore.

Tyler must notice he's woken up because the sit their phone on the bedside table and carefully smile down at him, running a hand through his hair. Meanwhile, Brendon is not nearly as calm and collected, he's kind of losing his mind at the situation but doesn't know what to do about it.

He nervously licks his lips. "Your. . . Your shirt."

Tyler nods. "Yeah, sorry. It's just really uncomfortable sleeping in clothes."

Brendon lets out a shaky breath.

His cheek is pressed to their pec once again, legs tangling with theirs and a hand on their stomach; he can feel their happy trail.

Okay. Breathe, he tries to tell himself. Just breathe. It's okay.

It's then when his eyes travel from their face and explore. He doesn't know what else to do. And it's then, too, when he realizes they have hickies on their chest. Light ones, like they've been there for a while, but it's very evident to him why they're there and who they came from.

His hand shakes as it lifts, pointer finger trembling while he traces delicately around the hues, because they're there, and no one can deny it.

He pushes himself up from the mattress in a terse manner, swallowing the lump in his throat. "We should get up."

Please, get him out of this situation.

They hum, and Brendon is already off the bed by then. He sucks in his bottom lip and hugs around himself, trying to remember the comfort Josh's hoodie had given him last night.

At the thought, he asks, "Where did Josh go?"

Tyler sits up in bed while stretching their arms out, and that's when Brendon notices their armpits are shaven. No hair.

Okay, then.

He finds it almost strange that they don't shave their legs or happy trail, yet they shave their armpits, but he won't comment on it because he knows by now Tyler has a weird way of expressing themself. As long as they're doing what makes them comfortable, it doesn't bother him.

"Took Jim out to use the bathroom." They mutter.

Brendon nods, clearing his throat.

Tyler stands up and the sun peeks through the curtains just perfectly to land right on them, leading down their body. His eyes travel because they can, and maybe he wants to? He doesn't know. He's so fucking overwhelmed.

Tyler is sexy.

Brendon's eyes widen. Frantic. "I-I-I'm gonna go with Josh." He rushes out, making his way past them and through the door.

His heart beats in his ears; he's such a mess it's painful.

Brendon is quick through the hallway, simply assuming Josh and Jim are in the backyard opposed to the front one. And, when he opens the door, he is right. Josh stands tall with his arms crossed and a sweater around his arms, fallen off his shoulders. It wasn't until now he notices he's wearing boxers with heart shapes on them, and he can't help but shake his head.

Josh turns around from looking at Jim prance in the yard, eyebrow quirked.

"Good morning," he says, lips upturned.

Brendon slides the door closed behind him and walks over to Josh, mind running horribly. Fuck.

"Tyler doesn't have a shirt on anymore."

Josh pauses, blinks, processing the information.

He chuckles, shaking his head and looking back to Jim. "Tyler's a weirdo. They would have slept naked if they could've." He mutters easily, rubbing the tip of his nose with his sweater paw from the cold air nipping at it.

And so his speculations were true. Fuck.

"Always?" He asks, meek.

Josh shrugs. "Always."

Brendon doesn't know how to take it. His body shivers from the weather and Josh pulls him close, an arm around his shoulders. This will do, he supposed. He needs to get his mind off everything.

"Tyler's just weird. You get used to it after a while." He snickers lightly.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

Josh's shoulders lift a bit. "I think it's cute."

Brendon bites his cheek, looking at his feet. "Me too."

Josh lets out a content noise from the back of his throat, leaning his head on his shoulder momentarily. "I'm pretty weird too, so I'm glad it's a turn on." He mutters, fingers squeezing his arm for a moment.

"Maybe I'm weird." Brendon then says.

Josh pulls away to look at him, eyes scanning his. "Good."

That's all he says before calling for Jim, who comes trotting over with his tongue out of his mouth and a smudge of mud on his nose. Josh wipes it off, calling him a "messy boy," and leads the two of them back inside where it was much, much warmer.

When they turn the corner, Tyler's in the kitchen, only wearing a largely oversized Christmas sweater although it has been been two months since the holiday, but neither of them say a thing. It goes to their mid thigh, and Brendon just wants them to get fully dressed already because it's starting to feel like they're doing this purposefully.

"What's on the menu this morning, my love?" Josh wonders when they walk in.

Tyler hums. "Pancakes."

Josh holds their waist and brings them into a short kiss. "Awesome."

When they pull away from each other, Josh sits down with Brendon whose ended up on the table. The sun lights up the entire room, but his eyes can adjust just fine. Brendon leans back in the chair to pop his back, stretching his arms out too and the hoodie and shirt he's wearing rides up a little to expose his own happy trail yet he can't find himself to care, because he knows by now in this home, a happy trail is nothing.

"You should let me take photos of you when we come back from the wedding." Josh suddenly says.

Brendon stops. "What?"

Josh shrugs. "It'd be nice."

Brendon is still surprised. Confused. "What. . ."

Josh messes with his nose ring, crossing a leg over the other. "Nothing big, just to get some nice shots."

"Of me."

"Of you."

Brendon purses his lips. "But why. . ."

Josh smiles, grabbing his hand. "Because you're cute." Kiss. "Sexy." Kiss. "Hot." Another kiss. "And I'd just like to take some pictures of you."

Brendon, once again, is flushed. Josh and Tyler know how to play him so well, but they're not even secretive about it, they just do it and know he's going to be flustered, and they thrive off of that. It makes him mad. It makes him. . . He doesn't know.

"If I say yes, will you stop doing that." Brendon mutters.

Josh chuckles, playing with his fingers. "Doing what?"

He grumbles. "You know what."

Josh hums. "Calling you sexy? Hot? Cute? Or touching you. Kissing you?" He rubs his thumb against his knuckle but Brendon is quick to pull his hand away, crossing his arms.

"Everything." He mumbles, cheeks pink, body completely flushed.

"You don't like it?" Josh asks.

Brendon sticks his bottom lip out in almost a pout, the two of them staring at one another. He doesn't want to answer the question. He wouldn't know how, and honestly, he'd probably just embarrass himself. He's not used to showing sexual attraction, unlike the both of them. It's all so new, so overwhelming, but so good. Yeah? Okay, yes, good.

Brendon doesn't say anything, but maybe the message is clear.

"Will you please let me take pictures?" Josh decides to ask again.

He sighs. "Fine."

Josh is more than pleased. "Good." He fiddles with a curl in his hair. "Then I can show you some of my work." He pauses, smirking. "My Tyler folder."

Tyler chuckles in the kitchen. "Which one?"

Josh looks at them. "Shut up."

"For later?" They then wonder.

"Okay."

Brendon's eyebrows furrow together at the conversation, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows thickly. Tyler and Josh are definitely weird, but maybe he likes it.

***

Brendon didn't like having to pack up his clothes. He didn't like dressing back into his button up and slacks, and he definitely didn't like thinking about the fact that in less than an hour he'll be back at work, without Tyler and Josh, without the safety of their home, just him all alone once more.

Brendon cocks his head at the thought, staring at himself in the mirror. It would be okay, yeah. It would.

He nods, carefully shoving Josh's hoodie into his bag and zipping it up.

Hopefully Josh wouldn't mind.

He walks out of the bathroom, feeling like his slacks are a little tighter around him from how filling the pancakes were but it isn't such a bad thing so he deals with it. He lays his bag back onto the couch and goes into the kitchen where Tyler's sitting, opening up mail and reading through it in a terse manner.

Brendon slowly sits down on the chair in front of them, tapping his fingers anxiously on the table.

Tyler looks up from the bill they're reading. "What's wrong?"

He scratches his head. "Do you think. . . Uh, you might be able to like, pack me a lunch?" He realizes quickly how stupid it sounds. "Just, um, you-you know, Luke usually brings me lunch but I have a feeling that's not happening today. . ."

Tyler seems like they want to frown, but they don't. "Yes." They utter, dropping the mail and sitting up. "What do you want?"

Brendon follows them into the kitchen. "Whatever is easiest for you. It's fine. I-I probably won't eat a lot, so. . ."

Tyler glares at him.

He purses his lips. "Stuff doesn't settle well at work. I'm too anxious."

"I'll just have to feed you well while you're here." Tyler mumbles, looking through one of the cabinets. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" They ask.

Brendon huffs. "Okay."

Tyler spends the next ten minutes making his sandwich, and Brendon spends those ten minutes simply watching them. Watching their eyelashes flutter and the concentration in their eyes, watching the way their sweater rides up and how he could see more than he probably needed to.

He'll keep it to himself, he always does.

Tyler puts his sandwich in a small paper bag and grabs a sharpie from one of the drawers, writing his name on it. They capitalize random letters like the R and N, but he finds it cute, so really, it makes him smile.

"Thank you." He whispers when they hand it to him.

"Of course." They say.

Josh comes back downstairs, dressed in some jeans and a long sleeved Star Wars shirt. He looks to Brendon, who has his bag over his shoulder and the sandwich in the other. "Heading out?" He asks.

Brendon nods.

Josh hums, gently pulling him into a hug; he has an arm between his shoulders and one in his hair.

"What time should I come on Friday?" Brendon questions.

Josh pulls away, shrugging. "Just after work."

"Okay." Brendon breathes. He can't believe it's coming up so fast. He's hoping everything will go okay, that being away from home by himself for a few days won't get to him. That he'll be able to keep Jim happy and healthy.

Josh smiles. "And by the way, please, don't be scared to do anything. Mi casa es tu casa, right?" Josh pauses. "I think that's it."

Brendon can't help but chuckle, heartwarmed. "Yes, Josh. That's it."

He nods. "And definitely don't be afraid to sleep in the bed or wear our clothes or something, it's fine."

Brendon squints his eyes.

It's almost like he's knows what's in his bag. . .

Surely not.

Before he can think about it any longer Tyler practically tackles him in a hug. He lets out a gruff sound at the impact but nonetheless hugs them back as well as he can with everything he carries.

"You should video call me after work," they whisper.

Brendon wonders why but it seems like it would come out rudely, so he says, "Okay." And that's that. Tyler kisses his neck once before pulling away, and Brendon doesn't forget to pet Jim's head. Slowly, he walks out of the front door, waving meekly at the two of them until they're no longer visible.

Brendon is probably just pitiful, but already he feels dismal no longer being in their presence. He feels dismal knowing he won't be in their presence for three days, and even then, he won't be seeing them very long on Friday. He's gotten attached, it's no secret, and maybe being all alone-- with the exception of Jim-- for a couple of days after spending so much time with Tyler and Josh won't do him any good, but he tries not to dwell on it too hard.

Hopefully, he'll be okay.

For now, he's just focused on trying to make it through today, because he already knows it's going to be tough.

***

It's true that things aren't well between he and Luke, because after putting his sandwich inside the refrigerator in the breakroom and making it back to his cubicle, Luke doesn't even dare to look at him. He's pretending Brendon doesn't exist, or maybe he's holding himself back from saying something worse than before.

The thing is, Brendon understands where he's coming from; how could he not? The relationship he is in is not seen very often, almost ever, and so of course Luke thinks he's cheating on Josh. To him, there's probably no other solution. He and Tyler were touchy, and he and Tyler were looking at one another like they're much more than friends.

Brendon understands.

The reason he got so upset is because-- well, there's multiple reasons.

Why couldn't Luke be more private about it? He can get why he was upset, but why couldn't he try to calmly conclude the situation? What was the point of him yelling, gaining everyone's attention, and making a scene for something he's not certain about?

To that, he doesn't know.

Can't Luke tell by now he's not good in those kinds of situations?

Maybe he's asking for too much sympathy. He's a grown adult, not a child.

Another thing that pushed him over the edge is him gendering Tyler. Yes, of course, he has no idea about their identity, but something about it made him furious and uncomfortable all at the same time. That guy, that guy, right in his ear. He's not right. And he couldn't even bring himself to tell Tyler about that aspect of it because he's positive it would upset them. After everything they've explained to him about their appearance and people's interpretations of them, he just couldn't do it. It might of hurt him more to let them know.

So, he's stuck in this state of pure ache, chest heavy while he sits, fingers tense as they type.

The fact that he couldn't even bring himself to explain is the worst part of it all. Brendon is so fucking pathetic it's funny at this point.

His whole life he's been wrestling with his own mind, his anxieties, and they overpower him every time, especially when he has the motivation to push through. He rarely ever succeeds, and it simply leads to a period of complete and utter defeat. He can't do anything because of how terrible he is. Not even if it's for the best.

He wants to tell Luke. He wants to.

The part of that which scares him most falls back to the same reason as before, not understanding.

All Brendon can hope for is for the other to understand, he relies on it, but there's no certainty that it will happen. If anything, it's least likely to.

Why would someone throw out moral knowledge to console a man in a three-way relationship with one partner not following social standards?

It's obscure.

But, so is this entire situation.

Maybe being perceived as unusual is just the risk he'll have to take for Tyler and Josh, and that's okay. He tries his hardest to remind himself, because if he really does want this to work, failure to conform shouldn't be above them.

***

The last thing Brendon was excited for today is going on his lunch break. So many questions ran through his head: Where should he sit? Would it be embarrassing to eat in the bathroom the entire time? Is Luke going to be at the table already?

He worries too much.

Carefully, he walks in, and Luke is nowhere to be seen.

It's almost relieving, but that's until he realizes everyone slowly looking his way, eye lashes batting in disgust and jaws clenched in just the slightest. Brendon can feel his heart drop, because it's one thing to be disliked by a person, but it's another to be disliked by the majority.

He makes an attempt to swallow the lump in his throat; it doesn't work.

He decides to try his best to ignore the judgement. He knows it's false, he knows, so he heads over to the refrigerator and grabs the paper bag with his sandwich, then walking to the usual table and sitting down.

It's a horrid feeling knowing this time he's sitting alone, not because of a sickness, but because of a misunderstanding. Something he could have controlled. Prevented.

He sighs, slowly taking a bite of his food.

Brendon can hear people whispering. No one ever whispers unless they aren't bold enough to say to someone's face, and that's why it's so gutwrenching to know they're spitting about him again. How disgusting and disgraceful he is, how he doesn't deserve love.

For someone reason he can't but think they're right.

It isn't true, but to some extent, it feels like it is.

He's ashamed of being himself. It doesn't take a genius to grasp that concept. Something about somehow staying low yet being so well-known is hard to cope with. It feels like he has no privacy although that's exactly what's keeping he and Luke from making amends.

Brendon's simply complicated.

He crouches into himself while eating his sandwich, feeling embarrassed of everything. The problem at hand, being alone, bouncing his leg up and down frantically, even the fact that his nails are painted is making him feel disgusting.

At the thought, he sets his sandwich down and starts picking at them.

He wants to text Tyler, but pulling out his phone right now feels wrong.

People will know who he's texting, and just the thought of them assuming he's doing something as horrible as actively cheating in front of everyone physically makes him sick.

His leg bounces faster.

He's guilty for something that never took place, how does that work?

All he would like right now is some reassurance. Though, he'll get none, because everything is too overwhelming and be can't think properly. Not even when he tries to tell himself he can do whatever the fuck he wants, just text Tyler.

It doesn't work.

Sometimes, emotions get the best of things.

He feels like a burden. It's not uncommon at this point. He has riddled Tyler and Josh with so many of his problems but they haven't done the same nearly at all, so what gives him the right to? Because he has bigger problems? In reality, how is he supposed to know that? Maybe Brendon uses his anxiety disorder as a gateway to many things, and he wishes it would stop being that way. It's a subconscious response.

All in all, it's honestly just depressing.

He spends the next half hour hunched into himself as he goes back and forth from taking small bites of the sandwich to picking off his nail polish, contemplating.

***

God, Brendon is beyond thankful to pull into his parking space at the apartment complex. He'd rather be at Tyler and Josh's, but this will do, definitely.

He grabs his bag from the passenger's side and locks the car, feet rushing to the stairs and through the hallway. Really, no matter how desperate it sounds, he wants to get high again. It's been far too long and he has been holding off because of having Tyler and Josh around.

He needs to, he needs to.

Before getting to his door, Brendon realizes he completely forgot to check the mail.

He sighs, walking through the hall again and back down the stairs. It's not until he turns around the corner where the mailboxes are when he sees Hayley checking through the mail in her hands. Skinny jeans, big red knit sweater, sneakers, and a black beanie.

Brendon swears it's like she always knows where he'll be at.

Maybe it has something to do with living in the same apartment complex. . .

He slowly walks closer, pulling his keys from out of his pocket, and Hayley looks up from the mail in her hand, grinning wide at him. "Hey," she says.

Brendon purses his lips into a smile. "Hello." He mutters.

There's a pause.

Awkwardly, she watches him unlock his mailbox and gather everything. He sticks it under his armpit and closes the mailbox back up, locking it while clearing his throat. He's really not sure what else to say but it seems like she wants to continue to conversation.

He looks to her. She cocks her head. "What are you up to?"

He wants to sigh; he doesn't.

"Uhm. . . Just, uh, got back from work. . ."

She nods, cheeks high, skin pale. That's all. Nothing more and nothing less.

Now, Brendon sighs a bit. "You?"

Hayley hums. He supposed she was expecting-- more like waiting, really-- for that question. "Jack is with his dad this week so I have nothing much to do. It's been pretty boring, really."

Brendon frowns a bit. He's curious about her situation but isn't sure whether or not it's any of his business. So, for now, he can just give subtle sympathy. "I'm sorry."

She shrugs. "It's okay." She bounces up and down on the heel of her foot. "What do you plan on doing right now?" Harmless enough, yet it feels like it has a hopeful undertone to it. Is she asking what he thinks she's asking?

His lips go crooked. "Are we being honest?" He wonders.

Honestly, how much should he care at this point.

Hayley nods.

"I'm planning on getting really, really high once I get inside." He states, blatant, and maybe he's spending too much time with Tyler and Josh.

Instead of seeming distraught, Hayley breaks out into a huge smile and starts laughing. Brendon can't help but do the same. She's okay. He likes her, kind of. Yeah.

Her eyes glisten looking at him. "Think I might be able to join?"

Instantly, Brendon's palms start to sweat a bit. The laughter dies down and so does his pulse. Oh. "Uh," he mumbles out. He had enough trouble having Josh and Tyler over, what makes him think he can easily have someone else in his home who he's only spoken to a few times?

Though, this feels a lot more casual.

Something is telling him it's okay. He shouldn't worry.

"Sure. . . Yeah. Okay. Yeah."

Fuck. Really? He can't believe this is actually happening. What has gotten into him?

Hayley is very pleased. "Awesome."

Brendon nods. "Let's go."

Wordlessly, the two of them walk up the stairs and through the hallway. Brendon struggles a bit to get the door open with all the stuff he's holding, but he manages, and carefully opens the door for himself and Hayley to walk through.

Brendon's been away from his own home for so long he nearly forgets what it looked like last. He walks in the way Hayley does, looking all around the place because woah, it's a lot cleaner than he remembers leaving it; he's surprised with himself. Proud.

Nonetheless, he huffs, closing the door behind them. "I'm gonna change. Just, uh, sit down on the couch. I'll be right back."

Hayley nods, and Brendon rushes into his room.

Seriously, he must be losing his mind.

He can't find a good reason of why he agreed to this. Maybe he's filling the void of not having Tyler and Josh right now, or Luke. Maybe he's somehow just making friends, but it seems weird.

Brendon shakes his head, undressing quickly. He puts on a random shirt and a pair of joggers, then, unzips his bag, and carefully pulls on Josh's hoodie. Yeah, it was probably rude of him to take it, but he the amount of safety he feels with Josh's scent caressing his skin overcomes any fear. He's positive Josh will be okay with it, and he will give it back.

Brendon grabs his pack of rolling papers and container of weed, heading back out into the livingroom.

Hayley is sitting at the very edge of the couch, fixing her beanie.

Brendon bites his lip, slowly sitting down beside her. "Didn't take you for a stoner." He mutters.

She shrugs, a small smile. "I don't do it much anymore because of Jack."

He nods in return, leaning towards the coffee table and carefully beginning to make a joint. He isn't sure what to talk about, or why she's even here with him, but she is, so he has to try and host even just a bit. Yeah, she's only here to smoke weed with him, still, he wants to to learn more about her.

"How old is he?" He decides to ask.

"Just turned five in January." She says.

Brendon hums. "He's a good kid."

Hayley's lips turn upwards at that. "He really is." She starts become a bit more comfortable on the couch, and it helps Brendon settle down a little as well. He was on edge too, but not physically. "I'm so used to having him around that when he's gone, it just feels. . . Wrong. Does that make sense?"

"Definitely." Then, he pauses for a moment, wondering if it would be okay to bring the topic up. "Uh, is it alright for me to ask the, you know, um, situation with his dad?"

He avoids eye contact in fear of the question being upsetting, tucking in the weed nice in tight inside the paper before licking it sealed.

Hayley nods, shrugging. "His name is Chad. We were together in highschool, and, uh, I got pregnant. . . So we just kinda agreed to stay together for Jack, but, that-- we realized that wasn't making anyone happy, so finally, I decided it would be best to get a place of my own. Now we've determined that Jack will stay with him every other week." She purses her lips together for a moment. "That's who was here helping us unpack when we first moved in."

Brendon processes all the information, eyebrows raising for a second. "Are you. . . are you guys on good terms?"

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. "Good enough."

He hopes everything is alright. "How old are you?" He then wonders.

"Twenty-three." She states.

Brendon knew she was younger than him, it's obvious, but it still comes as a bit of a surprise.

"You?"

He huffs. "Thirty in about a month."

Hayley's eyes widen a little at that, like she's in shock he is that old, and it's nearly heartwarming. Does he really look younger? He doesn't ask, only finishing off the second joint and handing it too her. Hopefully it isn't too much.

He first lights the end of his, taking a long, long drag, and then hers.

This is nice.

He blows out smoke and leans back against the couch, resting. Hayley does the same. "You know, Brendon, you're pretty mysterious." She mutters.

His eyebrows furrow. "I'm mysterious?"

She nods, taking another hit. She makes a wincing noise before continuing. "You're rarely home, and when you are, it's not for long."

Oh.

"Oh." He trails off, eyes trained to the empty wall where a TV could be. "I just work at lot. And I stay at my mom's on the weekends." He doesn't know why he's telling her this, but for some reason, he doesn't mind. The casualty is clear, and so is the comfort. This is okay.

Hayley nods once again. "Who were those to people that came over that one time?"

He completely forgot about her seeing them. Shit.

"Uh, just. . ." Brendon pauses, contemplating. What would be the point in hiding the truth right now? This is different; this isn't in a work setting nor the retirement home, if this goes badly, well, he loses nothing. Maybe some baked goods every now and then, but he can live with that.

Should he tell her though?

There's no reason not to, besides privacy.

He bites his lip, anxiously smoking more. "I'm-I'm seeing them." He mumbles, still not making eye contact with her.

There's silence.

He doesn't like it.

"Woah." She says. Then, starts chuckling to herself. "Like, dating them? Damn. That's awesome."

Brendon lifts his eyebrows, finally looking at her. He shrugs, nodding his head. "Yeah. Uh, yeah. It is."

Hayley smiles. "Tell me more about them." She says, smoke falling from her lips. "Because you can't say that without explaining. No-no offense, it's just. . ." She hums. "You know, I don't see that a lot."

Brendon's almost in shock. Shocked at the fact that he didn't even worry about it and the outcome is great. He considers doing this more often, but he knows it's not likely because right now he's definitely starting to feel the side effects of the marijuana.

"Well. . . I met them on Tinder? They're married. Tyler and Josh." He bites his lip to refrain himself from smiling. "They're nice."

Hayley's eyelashes flutter. "Are you polyamorous?"

Brendon's brows pull together. "What?"

She does the same thing. "Sorry. . . Is that not what it's called? Don't listen to me, I don't know shit."

He sits up a bit straighter, taking another slow hit. His eyes scan anything in front of him, like he's having an epiphany. Maybe he is?

"Is that it?" He whispers, a bit to himself.

He has never known, and really, it's kind of sad that he's learning it from an acquaintance and not someone like Tyler or Josh. Do they even know what it's called? They've never spoken about it before, just sexuality.

Hayley slowly purses her lips. "Did you not know that's a thing? When you're in a relationship with more than one person, that's usually what you call it."

Brendon scratches his head. "I. . . We're not, uh, official. We're just getting to know each other. Then, yeah. Maybe. I don't know."

The thought of actually being able to call Josh and Tyler his boyfriend and partner is crazy to think about. He feels his heart rate increase, only for a second, because the weed takes over once more.

Hayley gives a careful smile. "You should talk to them about it."

Brendon blinks, it feels like in slow motion. "Definitely."

They spend a while saying nothing and doing nothing but finishing their joints. Hayley is a lot like him stoned; relaxed, yet extremely giggly. And he realizes this when the silence is finally broken by her laughter. They had just been staring at the wall beforehand.

Brendon chuckles. "What?"

"How does that work?" She asks, loudly, laughing even more.

He doesn't understand. "What work?"

It seems like Hayley barely understands herself. "Like. . . With two people it's pretty simple. . . But. . . Three people? Seems like it would be crazy-- and they're married! Woah." She turns to him, eyes lazy, mouth agape. "How do you do it?"

Brendon thinks about it a lot longer than he probably has to. "They do it." He decides to say.

"Huh?"

He shrugs. "I don't ever know what to do. . . Tyler and Josh help me. They do everything."

Hayley doesn't get it, it's obvious. She squints her eyes and looks to the left, but nonetheless nods. "Got any food?" She decides to ask instead, dismissing the subject completely. It isn't important right now, anyways. Brendon should probably explain it once they're both more sober.

"Yeah." He mutters. Slowly getting off his place on the couch and leading Hayley into the kitchen.

***

Hayley stays a lot longer than expected. Yet, he doesn't mind. They ate many doritos and went on and on about stuff he can barely remember. It was good, too, really good. He's not used to having such a casual experience with anyone, and for once he's not so afraid of the outcome.

Hayley is nice. Definitely.

"Sorry, this was random, but I had a good time." She says, they're at the door, and her bags are going every which way.

Brendon bites his lip. "Yeah." He utters, not sure what else to say. "See you later."

She nods. "See you later."

He makes sure to lock the door once she makes it out, letting out a deep sigh of probable relief, but really, he has no idea what it is. He's just. . . Happy? That might be it. Happy that he actually pushed himself to get to know someone a little more, even if it involved getting stoned.

He considers taking a shower, it would probably be for the best, but his eyes quickly widen at a realization.

"Holy shit," he whispers to himself, rushing into the bedroom.

Brendon completely forgot he told Tyler he would video call them once he got home. Oh, my god.

He checks his phone, which he left to charge on his bed, and there's a message from them. He feels horrible; how could he forget that? It's all he was thinking about at work. It's all he wanted to do the entire day, really.

Call me, yeah?

That message was sent well over an hour ago.

Brendon puts a hand over his mouth, because, fuck. He's kept them waiting just so he can get stoned.

He carefully crawls into bed and pulls the hood over his head, maybe in guilt? Probably in guilt. He gets under the blankets and presses the video call icon, listening to the ringing and staring at himself in shame all at the same time.

It rings, and rings, and rings, to the point where he assumes they're not going to answer.

Finally, though, their face appears on the screen. "Hey." They mumble.

Brendon's lips shake into a small frown. "Hi. . . Uh, I'm sorry."

Tyler looks at him, face monotonous, like previous times. He doesn't like it one bit. "What took so long?"

He bites his cheek. He does not want to make excuses but he's not sure what else to do. "I just, um, it-it wasn't a good day at work and I got really. . . Anxious. Sorry. I came home and I, well, I got high." Such a petty excuse, a stupid one.

They hum, it's nearly condescending. "You know you could have called me still."

"Actually, um, Hayley smoked with me. . .? I don't know. Her son isn't with her this week and it just kind of happened. She left right now."

It's quiet.

There's a subtle shift in Tyler's features; it doesn't take Brendon very long to sense they're upset.

"Yeah." They whisper.

"I'm sorry, I promise it wasn't purposeful." He swallows thickly. "All-all I wanted to do today was call you, it's all I could think about." He blushes after the statement, absolutely exposing himself right now. He's no longer high, so really, despite his senses wanting to stay calm, it's not working at all because the way Tyler is looking at makes his heart drop.

"Obviously not." They mutter.

He's fucked up, hasn't he?

"Tyler, I'm sorry. Really." Brendon croaks out. He's so unbelievably ashamed of himself.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Tyler sighs. They're in the bedroom, still wearing that Christmas sweater, but not the same smile.

"I've been waiting all day, and instead of you making it a priority like I had, you were with her. Spending time with her." They say it with a sense of disgust despite the fact they don't know a single thing about Hayley. They're jealous, it's no secret.

Brendon frowns once more. Then, his eyebrows pull together. "Do you not trust me?"

Tyler shakes their head. "I trust you."

"Then what is it?" It seems like they have their doubts.

"I know how people are, Brendon. And it pisses me off how she thinks she can--"

"Tyler? What are you doing?" It's Josh, he comes into the room, and into view on Brendon's phone. "Are you seriously getting upset at him? Calm down, it's not his fault."

He supposed Tyler drops the phone onto the bed because he no longer can see either of them, just the ceiling, and some shakiness.

"Josh, do you not understand? God, fuck." They groan, so loud it shakes Brendon completely. They're mad. Genuinely. What has he done? Has he ruined everything? Of course. "You know what? Talk to him. Okay? I don't want to deal with it right now."

Brendon's eyes are wide. He's never seen them like this.

He can hear Tyler stomp off, and slowly, after a moment, Josh picks up the phone. He runs a hand through his hair a few times in worry, blowing out air from his mouth to refresh his mind.

"Brendon, I'm sorry." He starts. "You have to believe me when I say it's not your fault. Really, it's not. They have just not been having a good night and I have a feeling it's not going to get any better."

Honestly, Brendon is on the verge of tears.

He felt horrible before calling Tyler, but now he feels even worse.

Josh continues. "They are not going about this the right way, okay. They aren't. They're just upset right now and are taking it out on you. I'm sorry. I promise it will pass."

Brendon breathes in deeply. "Okay." He whispers.

He doesn't want to cry right now.

"Are you alright, baby?"

Brendon cries anyways. A loud, obnoxious, pitiful cry full of agony because fuck he can't ever please anyone. Not even the people he cares for most. It rips from his mouth and he lets it out because it feels like he has no other option. He's a mess full of sorrow right now.

Josh is visibly sad at the sudden state. "Brendon, hey, please take a deep breath and listen."

His inhale stutters, but he tries.

"Tyler is going through their own thing right now. I know it was fucking horrible of them to take it out on you but please don't blame yourself. It's okay, believe me, it'll all be fine." Josh has so much sincerity in his eyes that he can't help but believe it.

It will be fine, it will be fine.

Suddenly, he and Josh both jump a bit at the extremely loud sound of a door slamming.

"Fuck." Josh whispers. "I have to go." He decides, seeming panicked. This must not be good. "Please, take care of yourself. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Brendon nods. "O-okay. Goodnight."

Josh kisses his fingertips and presses it to the phone screen. "Goodnight." He says before ending the call.

There's a lump the size of a tennis ball in Brendon's throat as he sets his phone aside. His mind runs, so fast he can barely catch every thought. He did not expect any of that to have happened, and now he's in. . . Shock? He doesn't know whether to take Tyler's words to heart, or listen to Josh when he says it has nothing to do with him.

He's overwhelmed. Confused. Hurt.

Brendon can't help but feel a bit deservant of it, since after all, he did lash out on Tyler yesterday even though they were only trying to help.

It's karma, he'd say.

But it's also unlike Tyler to be rude towards him, so really, he's mostly concerned. Especially from what Josh was telling him, it sounds like things aren't going well for them, he's just not sure what.

Brendon hopes this will pass very soon, because god, he cannot deal with them acting that way to him for long.

Maybe it's for his own relief, or theirs; he's not sure.

He sighs one last time, pulling the blankets up to his chin and turning to his side, curling in on himself as some sort of comfort, some sort of protection. He then remembers he's wearing Josh's hoodie, and his heart flutters at that, helping him forget all the worst of what had happened.

It will be okay. It always is.