Ryland and Ryan don't sit with Luke and Brendon on Thursday or Friday, and it's okay, no one expected it to happen. Debby's back, which means the barrier between them is as well.

Brendon's been quiet this past week. Quieter than normal, at least. Usually, he'd have a nice discussion during lunch with Luke, but recently, he barely opens his mouth. He knows why, and he also knows he probably shouldn't keep to himself because in the long run, it's going to tear him down; he's just not used to having people besides Carina there for him when he needs it.

Truthfully, Luke really is just his friend at work. Brendon could never see himself spending time with him outside of here. He isn't sure whether Luke feels the same way or not, but because he himself feels that way, it's enough to stay closed off.

He doesn't speak very often this week because today is Friday, and tomorrow is Saturday. A day-- a weekend he has been dreading.

He'd like to tell Luke, but he already knows he'd ask why he is so worried, and that's a question he isn't willing to answer.

So, Brendon stays quiet, and Luke tries his best to keep the flow steady.

It's works as well as it can.

***

When Brendon comes home from work, Hayley and Jack are outside for no particular reason, it seems. They sit at the bench Brendon sat at when they first introduced themselves, Jack playing with a few monster truck toys while his mother talks on the phone.

He tries to pass by unnoticed, but that was proven impossible. Jack lights up at the sight of him, jumping off the seat and running towards Brendon.

"Hello!" He exclaims, nose and cheeks pinched red. It's chilly.

Brendon gulps, looking down at him. "Uh, hi."

"Can I tell you a secret?" Jack then asks, a lot quieter than before. Must be serious.

Brendon glances over to Hayley, who sees her son with him and is trying to get off the phone as quickly as possible to join them. Maybe scold Jack again, he seems to run off a lot.

He looks back down, nodding.

Jack smiles in return, gesturing Brendon with a wave to come down to his height, which he does do. The boy comes close, cupping a hand around his ear and says, "I asked Momma if we can make you cookies, and she said yes. She told me not to tell you, but I have no one else to tell!" He pulls away after that, looking up at Brendon with big eyes.

He has a soft spot for kids, it's no secret.

"Well, now it's not a surprise." He mutters, pursing his lips.

Jack frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. "You still want the cookies, don't you?"

Brendon doesn't even need to think about it. "You're right, I do."

"Mhm, that's what I thought." He nods, all-knowing. "What's your favorite?"

Brendon shrugs. "Chocolate chip."

Jack's brows pull together at the information, arms still crossed, and still holding a bit of spunk to them. "Chocolate chip? Aren't grown ups supposed to like the gross weird stuff like. . . Raisin?"

Brendon chuckles at his tone, not having time to answer because Hayley comes over to them, shaking her head as she runs a hand through her son's hair. "Sorry, again. He just gets distracted easily."

Brendon's sober this time around, so really, this feels like their first greeting. Hayley's looking at him, and he's looking at her, wondering what his next move should be. He'd rather sink to the ground and become one with the puddle beside them, but he can't do that, so for now, he swallows thickly and breathes in enough to speak.

"It's okay, I get it." He wants to curl up in bed at this time.

Hayley doesn't know how to reply, it's obvious. She holds onto Jack's shoulders and sways a bit, eyes casting downwards with a nod.

Brendon clears his throat, heart in his ears. "See you," he mumbles, waving a goodbye and rushing inside.

He needed to flee.

Maybe it's rude, or maybe she understands. For once, he can't find himself being bothered by this. Instead, he gets into his apartment and undresses immediately; shoes off, shirt unbuttoned, tie loose, and pants wrinkled.

He needs to shower, because he tries to avoid using the bathroom at his mother's as much as possible. In order to get to it, it involves going through her room and he doesn't want to be disruptive. Or he worries he'll miss something dire as he spends his time washing away the worries. He's not so sure.

Brendon actually makes an effort to keep things cleaned; he throws everything into the laundry basket and finds clothes to rest in.

It's the same thing as always.

The bathroom is colder than the rest of the apartment and he shivers once he's completely naked. As he waits for the water to warm, he notices how much his hips are jutting out. More than normal, and he wants to be concerned, but he already knows it's because he rarely eats enough anymore. It feels incapable with the way his stomach churns and throat closes.

Brendon can't help but wonder if he'd ever meet up with Josh and Tyler's standards.

He's less attractive as the days go by, and the weaker he becomes, the less of a man he seems as well. He's sure Tyler and Josh want someone who would be willing to protect them if he could, view as though he's built solely of testosterone and nothing more. But that's not Brendon. He's frail, and can only puff out his chest for so long. His hips are prominent like the rest of his bones.

Feeble, he is, unlike either of them.

Worrying about his appearance is nothing new, especially when he's seeing someone. Especially when he's seeing more than just someone.

The insecurities come full force when a love interest is involved. He wants to be good enough for them, in every aspect, and he knows-- he's certain-- appearance has so much to do with that.

Truly, will he be incompetent?

Brendon tries his hardest not to think about it, but it's hard when he spends the next twenty minutes focusing on something he's trying to forget. He scrubs and scrubs and scrubs, praying that if he does it hard enough it will make everything wither away.

It doesn't work, but he tries.

He changes into his clothes and makes it to bed after drying off.

It isn't late, yet he's ready to sleep. He gets comfortable with the blankets pulled up his body and doesn't bother putting his glasses on for the rest of the night. He checks his phone instead, flushing a bit when seeing a text from Tyler.

Come over tomorrow morning before we leave. I want to make you breakfast again.

Brendon takes note that they're rather demanding. It isn't bad, though.

What time?

Really, however long he can stay away from the retirement is however long it will be. Going to Tyler and Josh's seems like a perfect opportunity to calm down a bit before taking one of the biggest steps he's having to make.

A few moments pass, but Tyler responds.

Whenever you'd like.

It doesn't have to be as early as last time. We can skip out on breakfast at the retirement home tomorrow.

Is 9 alright?

Skipping out on breakfast also means more time spent away from the place he has been dreading to visit again. It means being able to spend time with Tyler and Josh without having to worry what his mother might say next, or if Carina would slip with pronouns.

He just needs some solace right now.

We'll see you then.

Omelets?

Brendon knows anything they cook would be much better than whatever it may be from the home, so he'd say yes no matter what.

Yummy.

And that's how the conversation ends. He doesn't mind, because he could really use some sleep right now. Tomorrow will be a long, long day, and so will the day after that. He's not sure there's anything he could do in order to prepare himself for what's to come, so he tries to get a good night's rest in the meantime.

***

Brendon hasn't woken up feeling like this in a long time. The first thing he thinks about when opening his eyes is what the day holds before him. Nothing but a thick lump forms in his throat, and he quickly rips the blankets off of himself or else he might suffocate.

"Fuck," he whispers, running a hand through his hair. Fuck, because, fuck.

He wakes up a little after eight o'clock, which doesn't give him enough time for anything. He still needed to pack his bag for this weekend, and now, he already knows things aren't going to go well for himself.

Brendon stands with a wobble to his knees and a dizziness in his head, making his way to the bathroom.

He spends this time doing his hair and brushing his teeth, nearly heaving as it happens. Staring at himself in the mirror doesn't help either, he picks himself apart until he's torn down.

Sometimes, it feels like there's two different people. His anxiety does that to him. It lingers over his shoulder and plays with him by strings like a puppet, leaning into his ear and whispering stuff that only he could hear. Things that destroy him both inside and out, and it shows. His body trembles by the time he makes it out of the restroom, and it only gets worse as he packs his bag.

This isn't the state Brendon wants Josh and Tyler to see him in.

He can feel it coming, and he already knows if he doesn't let it out before he heads over to their house, it will most definitely happen while he's there.

He can't let that happen. He won't.

When Brendon called Josh during one of his severe panic attacks last month, that was hard on its own. It was through the phone, too, he can't even imagine how embarrassing it'd be for it to happen in person.

Josh and Tyler would feel pity for him, poor Brendon can't ever just be okay.

The truth is, he can't. But that's not surprising. Especially when it comes to something so unbelievably vulnerable for him, it's hard for him to ever feel comfortable. That's his mother they're going to meet; someone who he's kept protected, someone who has no form of sensibility anymore.

Tyler and Josh have seen him at low points, but never this low.

Brendon attempts to hold off, but it's nearly nine and he doesn't want to have either of them thinking he wouldn't show up. So, he slings the bag around his shoulder and locks up the apartment, deciding it's best to put others before himself for once.

***

**Trigger warning: panic attack.**

It's well over nine when he has the audacity to actually show up. He feels horrible, it's just that simple.

Brendon leaves his bag inside his car and finally gets out-- he'd been sitting in the parking space at his apartment building for over twenty minutes before driving to their house-- trying to sort things out in his head and make it clear to himself it would all go well. It didn't work, because he could never be certain it would go well, but he sat there anyways.

Finally, though, he's standing in front of the door. He can already feel tears brimming his eyes so he bounces back and on forth on his heels to keep himself steady.

Brendon knocks softly, timidly. Maybe if they didn't hear him, it'd be an excuse to drive back home.

That plan is long gone in a matter of seconds, because Josh opens the door with one of his signature wide smiles. "Hey, what took you so long?"

Brendon caves. It's expected.

Nothing comes out other than a meek whimper; he burrows himself into Josh's chest abruptly, clinging onto his shirt and pushing his nose deep into his shoulder with a sniffle, then a cry. He's so full of guilt he couldn't even look Josh in the eyes for more than a moment without breaking down.

"Brendon-- Brendon, what's wrong?" He sounds panicked, but Brendon wins in that category.

Josh grips onto the fabric around his waist and keeps him close, one hand low and the other in between his shoulder blades to ground him. Josh huffs against his neck and it sends chills down his spine, making him tremble even more than before.

Brendon can only shake his head frantically as a response, it seems.

He's so embarrassed.

Josh understands, realizing he's not going to get anything like this. He nods in return. "Come inside," he whispers, trying his hardest to be delicate.

He has to lead Brendon himself once he gets a yes, hand placed at the dip in his lower back while the other holds onto his wrist. They walk at an odd angle because of Brendon still resting his head into the crook of his neck, but they manage.

They sit together in the livingroom, Josh pulling him so close he's practically on his lap but that's the last thing he's worrying about right now. He focuses on the one hand moving up and down his back, as well as the other which is wiping the tears as they come, instead.

"Can you tell me what's wrong now?" Josh asks, quietly.

Brendon only whimpers, pressing his face into Josh's chest opposed to his neck. His breathing is irregular, and his pulse is sporadic.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm. . . I'm sorry." He's panting it out, nails nearly digging through the shirt it grabs onto.

Josh cradles his head. "What are you apologizing for?"

Brendon's heart is so loud he almost doesn't catch it. He heaves against him, getting more and more lightheaded with every breath he pushes out.

He has a hard time making out any words. "Just-- I just. . ." He let's out a loud sob. "I didn't mean-- I didn't mean to-to-to. . ." Brendon's not even sure himself if he knows what he's trying to say. He's asking to be forgiven because it's horrible of him to put this kind of pressure on Josh, practically forcing him to help as much as he could.

He's selfish.

Josh replies with nothing. Instead, he hears Tyler's voice. "Josh, asking him what's wrong isn't going to help him calm down." They mutter.

Brendon looks up from Josh's chest and connects eyes with them, his brows are pulled together and he's crying hysterically against their husband; undeniably looking beyond miserable.

Tyler grabs one of his hands. "Do you want me to hold you?" They question, no hesitance in their voice and it makes his entire body go hot. He looks at them; they're looking at each other with so much certainty he might just faint then and there.

Brendon nods, quickly, pulling away from Josh and instead laying against Tyler once they sit down in the corner of the couch. Chest to back, heart to heart. Their arms wrap around him in just seconds, and he grips onto them as his eyes close once again.

"Tighter or looser?" They whisper.

"Tigher." He mumbles back, head tilting until it rests against their shoulder.

Tyler's grasp does become tighter, and it's relieving.

Brendon's caught off guard though when he hears them quietly counting to three, breathing in, and then counting to three once again, exhaling. Repeatedly. It's in his ear, and he assumes it's to guide him with breathing himself because of how much he's hyperventilating, so he tries to do it with them.

They do it together.

Jim is snuggling his snout into his leg as some kind of reassurance that it will be okay, and when Brendon opens his eyes, Josh looks at him with a sad smile. He reaches out, the two of them connecting hands wordlessly. It's okay. This is okay. Josh caressing his skin and Tyler's breath against his neck is all okay. They're helping him overcome another bump in the road, a bump that surely comes with more in the long run.

Brendon's breathing pattern hiccups, but he's getting there.

"Tyler," he murmurs, Adam's apple bobbing.

They stop counting for a moment, looking down at him. "Yeah?"

It's a stupid question, but Brendon learnt last month this had calmed him down, too. "Can you. . . Can you sing to me?" It's comes out quietly, scared, maybe he's asking for too much.

Tyler doesn't respond for a second. They look to Josh, then back down at him. "Will that help you?"

Brendon nods, he needed a distraction right now. Badly.

Tyler sighs, not because of frustration but because they're unsure, and it's understandable. Really, he's asking for a lot from them.

"Do you like Elvis?" They ask.

Brendon nods, again. He doesn't feel the need to use his voice right now. It'd waver and break with every word, and he's more comfortable just keeping quiet. He knows with them, it's okay. They do the same thing.

Tyler clears their throat, and nonetheless, starts singing softly. They're humming at first but ease into it, gently rocking themself and Brendon side to side as his chest rises and falls in a clash.

His eyes close again, this is where he needed to be.

It isn't long before Josh feels as though he wants to be closer, and Brendon doesn't mind as he presses his back against his chest just like him and Tyler. He holds both of Brendon's hands now, making sure he could fit his thumb between every knuckle. The two of them listen to Tyler sing without a word being passed, enjoying this moment because Brendon is pretty sure being in this frantic state has put Josh into one as well, accidentally.

He wants to apologize again.

He doesn't.

Brendon thought being this intimate with Tyler and Josh would only make him more anxious, but really, it's calming him down tremendously. He finds himself no longer heaving the longer they sit there, and a new round of tears never come.

He figures out that Tyler's talented at something else besides warming his heart, and although he wished they would just continue to sing forever, they do stop eventually.

They brush his hair back. "Are you nervous about today?" They ask once he's finally settled enough.

He swallows, nodding.

Josh grips his hands tighter. "We don't have to do it this weekend if you aren't ready for that."

Brendon's immediately shaking his head. "No. If we don't do it now, it's only going to be worse next time." It's true. Stalling never did him any good, yet he does it often. Maybe torturing himself is the only form of entertainment he gets nowadays.

Tyler's fingers run through his hair, once, twice, before pulling away. "Are you feeling better now?"

Brendon breathes deeply. "Yeah."

Good enough, at least.

"Want to eat breakfast? I made bacon. I was waiting for you to be here before making the omelets." He's glad the conversation is changing. Really, he's embarrassed because that just happened in front of them. The only thing keeping him from feeling completely overwhelmed by this is the fact that it he knows it wasn't in front of them, it was with them; they coped together, in a way.

"Breakfast, please." He speaks with a sense of delicacy, all of them have been this morning.

Tyler nods, releasing their hold on his chest and moving in a way that indicates to both of them get up. The three of them do, Josh letting go of Brendon's hands, and Brendon emitting a trembling huff as he stands.

Soon enough, everyone makes their way into the kitchen, including Jim.

Brendon bites his cheek as he watches Tyler walk in front of him, eyebrows pulling together. Tyler's-- Tyler looks different today. Tyler's wearing. . . Casual clothes today. They have on jeans and a black t-shirt.

That's it.

It's unusual, really. Brendon sits on the chair at the counter and tilts his head at them. "Your clothes, they're. . . They're different."

Tyler seems confused for a moment but then looks down at themself. "Oh, yeah." They look back up at him, shaking their head with a lift to their shoulders. "I didn't want to scare anyone over there." They chuckle a little, it relieves the tension there may have been.

Brendon cracks a smile. "They'll forget about it faster than you know."

They nod. "You're right." Then, shrugging, and grabbing the paper plate with bacon.

They hand some to Brendon.

As soon as he takes a bite though, he's frowning. "Are you sure this is bacon?"

Josh and Tyler both laugh, allowing him to really breathe. He didn't want to ruin their chances of having a good day because he can't keep himself under control, but that doesn't seem like a problem at all right now. He's thankful.

"It's turkey bacon," Tyler states.

"Oh." He continues eating it, keeping to himself. He watches the two of them instead, a dynamic he could get used to seeing.

Tyler begins cooking the omelets, and Josh is there at their side helping with anything they need. Whether it was them asking for butter or if he could crack some more eggs, he does it, no complaints, just pressing kisses at the nape of their neck afterwards. Josh looks at them like they're everything in one being, and maybe they are. He leans against the counter and just stares, observing, idolizing. Brendon wonders if he does this all the time.

He quickly, though, realizes he's doing the exact same thing.

A subtle blush rises to his cheeks, because there's no denying his interest in Tyler. Or Josh. Or the two of them together. The yearning in Josh's body language is so loud it's almost yelling; it's obvious he just wants to touch them. Hang on them. Hold them. Do something with them. And maybe he's holding back because of Brendon being there, but it's so obvious, surely no one in the room is missing it. Not even Tyler.

At the thought, they look to Josh. "Coffee." They mumble.

He understands, trailing his fingers across their back while walking past them, over to the coffee maker and beginning to make some just like every morning.

Tyler then glances over to Brendon. "Try to eat all your food today, yeah?"

Brendon shrinks in on himself.

They've noticed.

"I'll try." He whispers, eyes casting downwards the longer Tyler keeps their gaze on him.

Finally, though, their focus is lead to the food once again. "Don't eat it all if you can't. I'm just saying, never finishing your food isn't any good for you." Today, they've taken on the role to protect him, and it's evident.

Maybe it isn't so bad, because he could use guidance, but he's also his own person. He can do everything himself.

Or maybe he can't.

For now, he won't bite the hand that feeds him. He won't unless it gets out of control. He won't unless either of them act like he can't do anything for himself, or that he constantly needs to be reminded to do simple things. He could do that. He isn't going to let his disorder get the best of him.

Brendon never replies, and Tyler never pushes for more.

Soon enough, they've finished at the stove. Tyler cooks Brendon one omelet, knowing now that he eats in small portions for the most part, and the three of them end up sitting at the table after Josh pours Jim some food into his bowl.

He hands Brendon a cup of coffee in a mug that says #1 Dad on it. He only laughs through his nose and takes a sip.

"We should probably talk about what's going to happen while we're gone for the wedding," Josh states once he's sat down.

"All we'd really need to do is show him where stuff is, and I'll have to write everything down for Jim." Tyler talks, and Brendon listens. He's not so sure he'd have any input on the situation, for now. "We try to get him out at least once a day, do you think you might be able to take him on walks?"

Brendon doesn't like the idea of taking him outside of the house without supervision. If anything happens, it's all on him.

"Uh. . . I'm not sure." He mumbles.

Tyler only nods, them and Josh continuing the conversation while Brendon is just focused on finishing all of his food.

***

Surprisingly, he does finish eating everything on the plate, and he does finish his coffee this time. He's sure it's because he's beginning to feel more comfortable around them, and their home. His stomach doesn't twist and his throat doesn't tighten; he gets everything down.

He even helps Tyler wash plates, because he supposed he should get used to it considering he'll be staying here a few days.

It doesn't take long for them to finish, and Brendon's heart slams against the tips of his toes when Tyler turns to him and asks, "Should we start heading out?"

He yanks at the hair around the nape of his neck. "I guess."

They're staring at one another for a moment before Tyler pulls Brendon's hand away from himself, instead bringing it to their waist. They bring him into an embrace, one unlike any other. It's tight, it's comforting, it's warm. It's everything he needs right now and more. They dig their fingers into his shirt and rest their chin on his shoulder, close enough for him to feel their frenetic heart beat.

Are they nervous as well? The thought shocks him.

"It'll be okay." They whisper. Not just to Brendon, to themself.

He nods, hand shaking at their waist.

The two of them pull away from one another, and Brendon feels so unbelievably feeble.

He clears his throat. "You should, uh, you should probably bring the airmatress. There isn't really anywhere to sleep."

Tyler nods, disappearing down the hall while Josh comes in from the livingroom. He'd been running his fingers through Jim's fur as a departure, and Brendon will probably be doing the same thing pretty soon.

"They really care about you," Josh mutters, leaning on the wall. "They hate meeting new people, but they know this is gonna be good for all of us."

Brendon almost feels upset at this, he didn't want to put Tyler through something they're uncomfortable with. "Carina is nice. It'll be okay." He says, biting his lip. Not his cheek. He forgets. "My mom, uh, she-she. . . She's pretty harmless. It'll be okay." The amount of times that phrase has been stated today might drive him insane. It could just be a ticket to a staircase of fallen hope.

Josh gets closer. "You do know it will be okay, right?"

Brendon shrugs.

"I know it's scary, us meeting your mom-- especially because of everything-- but you need to remember this is just one of the steps we need to take if we want this to work out." Josh fiddles with the car keys in his hands. "You'll meet our parents sometime." He smiles. "You'll love my parents. They'll love you."

Brendon keeps quiet, the thought of meeting either of their parents is relieving but also beyond nervewracking at the same time.

He gulps, watching Tyler come back into the room with the airmatress box and a bag around their shoulder.

"Ready?" They ask.

Brendon breathes out, eyes closing. He nods.

He doesn't step out the door until telling Jim goodbye, who's whimpering when realizing everyone is about to leave. Brendon makes sure to give him enough rubs on his stomach beforehand, kissing the top of his head.

Josh locks the door once the three of them are outside.

"How will we get there?" Tyler questions.

Brendon's already making his way to the car. "Just follow me." He says.

Tyler nods, putting everything in the backseat of their car while Brendon sits inside if his. Really, if it was his decision, he'd sit here for another twenty minutes like last time, but he can't. He isn't going to, because it doesn't do him any good.

Soon enough, Tyler and Josh are in their own car, and instead of staying in place, he's driving the direction of the retirement home.

***

Brendon watches Tyler park right beside him, and that uncomfortable feeling in his chest arrives once more. The panic stood at the door is beginning to make its way inside again at just the mere sight of the building.

He can't believe this is real.

Worries flood in like there has been a hurricane, and it fills his stomach until it's churning.

Slowly, though, he's grabbing his bag and getting out of the car. It's still a bit cold outside and he makes a mental note to put on a sweater as quickly as possible, not only because of the weather but because he needs that sense of comfort right now.

He wraps his arms around his stomach like last time, waiting for Tyler and Josh while listening to the beat of his heart. It matches Tyler's from earlier; frantic and downright nervous.

Soon enough, they come out from their car. Josh holding the airmatress box this time, and Tyler holds their bag.

"The whole place is painted pink," is the first thing they say.

Brendon chuckles in a small manner, nodding. It is pink. Not an obnoxious shade, but a very light one that tries to radiate serendipity although that's the last thing you feel inside of there.

It goes quiet.

It's the exact opposite of what's happening in his brain right now.

They both seem to notice this too, and they both try to comfort him. It's subtle, tilts to their heads and touches to his hands. They're asking for an explanation he is scared to admit.

He feels like a burden, it's that simple.

"I feel like I'm going to have another panic attack." He whispers, so faintly he's surprised either of them catch it.

He's not sure why it's so shocking that they don't seem annoyed by this. He'd thought being this high maintenance would push them away, but really, it's only bringing them together.

He considers they really do care for him, and that overwhelms him more.

Brendon isn't sure why he couldn't believe this before.

"We'll stay out here with you until you're ready to go inside, alright?" Josh utters.

Brendon shakes his head. "Let's. . . Let's go inside now. Just, uh, just-just please stay close." He looks at both of them with wide, pleading eyes. He has submit willingly today, and neither of them mind. They'll tend to his needs as long as it helps.

Tyler reaches their hand out.

Brendon glances down at it before up at them again, Adam's apple bobbing and hand trembling as he connects his with theirs.

This will work.

Josh stays close to his side because he can't do much holding a big box, and it's okay. Brendon will hold his hand another time, he's certain he will. So, they begin walking to the front, too many worries still embedded in his head like: what if Lucy asks who Tyler and Josh are at the counter? He wouldn't know how to reply. Or more abstract ones such as: what if someone from work sees them here with him, like this, hands together and Josh to his side?

Brendon tries to shake it off, because he knows, for today at least, they've got him. Anything that happens to him, they'll go through it as well.

They walk through the front doors, which open before them, and Brendon is greeted with Lucy at the counter.

She observes momentarily, odd seeing him with anyone else. "Good morning, Brendon." She grins.

He gives his best smile in return, it isn't much. "Just one today, we're staying the night." He mumbles, eyes going anywhere but her eyes. Should he be feeling ashamed? He's not sure. All he's been feeling as of late is ashamed, and he wished it would stop.

Lucy nods, pulling out a Visitor Clip for Josh and handing it to him.

"Thank you," Brendon emits.

That's all that's said before he's clearing his throat and guiding Tyler and Josh upstairs. They look around, grasping everything like the big dining room full of many chairs and tables, as well as the big chandelier that hangs above it all. And once they're on the second floor, the gameroom, too.

Maybe he'll take Tyler in there sometime this weekend, he isn't sure.

Quickly, they make it to his mother's room. Not inside, just standing it front of it, staring at the plaque that says Grace Urie.

He grabs ahold of the doorknob, but before anything else, he turns around and looks at both of them. "I-I don't know what you're expecting, just. . . Just don't expect much, okay? I-- she doesn't know what she's saying half the time, either, so if she says something really harsh-- I'm sorry. She doesn't mean it, and I, and I hope this doesn't ruin--"

"Brendon, we understand." Tyler says, a hand at his shoulder now, too.

He's nearly heaving again, but he still nods.

Finally, he turns back around, and finally, he opens the door. The stupid fucking smell of cinnamon spice invades his system, and he really just wants to yell, or do something. He's so overwhelmed he could cry again.

Grace sits at the couch, Family Feud playing.

This is normal.

"Mom," Brendon calls, closing the door behind them.

She looks over, no expression, really. It's just Brendon with two people she's never seen before in her life, therefore, it's understandable.

"Do you remember me talking about Tyler and Josh?" He asks, and she nods. It's an obvious lie. He knows for a fact she doesn't remember them because why-- how would she? This symptom makes her notorious for lying, but it isn't her fault. "This is them." He then says, heartbeat so loud in his ears he could go deaf soon.

Grace smiles, waving meekly at them. "Hello."

Tyler and Josh both purse their lips into a smile, replying the same way.

Brendon bites his cheek. "Tyler's going to be staying the night with us, and Josh came to meet you."

Over the years, he's learned that explaining everything little by little will help her grasp the situation more. Just like you would to a child, because really, she only has the mental capacity of one now.

Grace nods. "That's nice of them."

Brendon's shoulders lift. "They're nice." He glances their way momentarily, subconsciously, before looking back down at his mother. "Did you go downstairs for breakfast today?"

"Yes. Carina made sure I got my coffee exactly how I like it." She states.

Brendon smiles at the mention of Carina. He missed her. "That's good. We'll go back down for lunch, okay?"

Grace nods, again, focus no longer her on son but instead back to the telivision.

Brendon swallows thickly, licking his lips and walking over to Tyler and Josh. "Uh, I'm going to text Carina that you're here." He looks to the small table beside them, full of shit and more shit. "You can just set everything down on there."

They do, and so does he, but not before pulling out a sweater from his bag and slipping it on.

"There isn't much to do in here." He mumbles, hands falling into the pockets of his sweater. "You can try and talk to her, but um, I'm not sure how far you'll get with that. She usually talks about random stuff most of the time, so just, you know, nod."

Ironically, both of them nod in response.

So does Brendon, it's okay.

He pulls out his phone and finds Carina's contact. He'd much rather have them around her right now than his mother. They'd be watching her widdle away, and who wants to see that?

Tyler and Josh are here if you want to meet them.

The reply is almost instantaneous.

Omg!! Yes!

Gameroom? My mom has been asking to play chess with Grace since she saw her this morning. (:

Yeah. I'll see you there.

Brendon puts his phone away afterwards. He supposed Tyler and Josh had been watching him this entire time because they definitely are right now.

He runs a hand through his hair. "I just got to get get my mom ready. Carina said she'll meet us in the gameroom."

Josh now has the Visitor Clip on his shirt, hand resting on Tyler's back. "Awesome." He states, looking genuinely excited. Brendon's guess is because now they're going to meet his, really, only friend. He knows he'd like to meet their friends too at some point, so this is definitely something a lot more thrilling than what just happened.

Brendon turns back to his mom. "Want to go to the gameroom? Carina and her mom are coming."

Grace can't say no, she loves Carina.

"Of course." She says.

So, they spend the next fifteen minutes or so helping her get into something more fitting for the outside of her room. Josh and Tyler help, and he thinks that maybe this really will work. It seems so little, but to Brendon, this is probably the biggest part of it all.

Finally, the four of them are out the door and helping Grace make it to the gameroom. Once they do, Carina and her mother are already there. It's no surprise because it had taken a lot longer than expected, but they're here now, and so is the paranoia of something horrible happening.

Carina immediately stops the game of chess she'd been playing with her mother and jumps out of her seat, hugging Brendon tightly. It's reassurance that's she's there, even when the situation is absurd.

"I can't even tell you how ready I am to get to know them." She whispers into his ear, and he smiles before pulling away.

Carina then turns to Tyler and Josh. "Hi! I've been so excited to meet you both."

Josh grins, Tyler doesn't. Brendon watches them go back to that person he once only knew, where they'd never smile but simply give a chuckle here and there. He wished they'd stop, because Carina isn't going to judge them, but if this is how Tyler feels comfortable, he won't to push.

"Us too. Brendon talks a lot about you." Josh says, biting his lip for a moment.

Carina grins even wider. "Funny, he talks a lot about the two of you, too." She's swaying side-to-side happily, but Brendon's flushed in embarrassment. Of course she'd expose that.

"Stop," he mumbles, helping his mother into the seat in front of Carina's mom.

"But it's true!" She laughs.

Tyler doesn't smile, but he can see how much they want to at the information. Because, yeah, he did talk about the two of them, a lot. Especially now that she knows, it's hard not to go on and on.

Brendon shakes his head, the entirety of his face is pink. "We should play cards."

Carina's cheeks are lifted so high, almost in a mischievous manner. She knows Brendon's struggle when it comes to relationship, and she's only teasing him about it. Still, he can't help but feel sheepish.

Everyone agrees on his offer though, and the four of them end up at one of the tables in the room. They settle for playing Slap Jack, Carina and Brendon on one end and Tyler and Josh on the other. Once again, it's almost like déjà vu as he and Tyler's knees bump into one another under the table, but this time, it's a lot less awkward than before. It's almost comforting, for the both of them.

Josh shuffles, he's good at it.

"How long do you plan on staying?" Carina asks in the meantime.

Josh begins passing the cards out. "I have to leave in a little bit, I have someone scheduled, but Tyler's staying over this weekend with Brendon." He informs.

Carina looks a bit surprised at this. "Really?"

Tyler nods. They realize, though, that they still haven't said a thing to her, so they nod faster. "Yeah."

Brendon kind of wants to hug them again. He's known them long enough now to be able to tell when things are off, and Tyler is definitely nervous at the moment. And maybe they were when the three of them first had met too, but then, he never noticed. Now it's so evident, and all he wants to do is comfort them like they do for him, yet he's not sure how. Or if he can.

"Well that's awesome." Carina hums. "It'll be nice having you around this weekend."

Brendon sees that as his chance. He says, "I agree."

He gets a better reaction than expected; they actually smile at him and purposely hit their knee against his, shaking their head as their lips swallow up their grin.

Josh notices the reaction too, and he seems just as glad to see them open up.

"Who goes first?" He wonders, eyes subtly on them.

Tyler sits up straighter. "I will."

So, they begin playing. It starts with Tyler, then to Brendon, and Carina, and lastly Josh. They go around at least three time before Brendon slaps the deck when Josh places down a Jack. It's like that for a while, and Brendon gets the stack nearly every single time. Card games are one of the only things he's good at, and he embarrassingly becomes very competitive.

The four of them don't really talk besides saying, "That was mine!" Or "I slapped it first!" And it's fine, at least Tyler and Brendon are fine with it, but Josh and Carina on the other hand aren't enjoying the silence. This is their time to really open up and get to know one another; this is the first time they're meeting, so he supposed they should converse.

Carina is the one who breaks away from the lack of voice. "Can I be nosey?" She asks.

Brendon isn't so sure what she means by that, and he nearly replies with no, but he doesn't, because he knows she'd never say anything to hurt him, or them.

Josh and Tyler both nod. They're honest people who don't have a problem sharing about their life, he's come to learn that very quickly, so this comes as no surprise.

Carina smiles, placing a card down. "How long have you both been married for?"

"Almost three years." Josh replies, and at the thought, Brendon watches Tyler fiddle with their wedding ring. Moving it up and down their finger repeatedly, distractedly, nervously. Brendon would probably do the same, too.

"That's so cool." She states, cheeks like cherries.

"We still don't really have our anniversary planned, but we've also been together in general for a long time, so it's something that's just kind of become casual." He shrugs, and really, Brendon could listen to them talk about each other all day long if he could.

"How long?"

Brendon braces himself, because he still doesn't believe it.

"Eleven years." Josh states. Then, a cheeky smile pulls at his lips.

Carina's eyes go wide, mouth agape. "That's insane." She shakes her head in disbelief, nonetheless, continuing to play the game. "But it also makes a lot of sense."

Everyone seems a bit confused by that, and she's quick to gasp.

"Oh gosh-- I just meant that I bet it takes a lot of trust to, you know, have another person in your relationship I didn't mean to--"

"No, you're right." Josh says easily. "It's not something you see everyday. But, we trust each other a lot, and in the long run, that's all that matter. We're happy." Brendon slaps the deck, and Josh bites his lip to refrain himself from smiling. "Having Brendon in our life has really just made things a lot better."

The latter breaks away from the daze of his victory at the mention of his name, another round of blush at the tips of his ears. "Josh."

"It's true."

Brendon shrinks, he can't make sense of it. "I haven't even done anything. . ."

It's Tyler who speaks up this time. "That isn't true, you make us really happy."

Carina admires the way they're speaking to him, you can just see it in her eyes. Glad that there's people taking care of her best friend when she can't, because although Brendon wouldn't admit it, he's very dependent on people. It isn't always a bad thing, especially not with Tyler and Josh, its been really good for him.

"If you don't mind me asking, what made you two decide to have a third person in your relationship?" She's only curious, protective, and it's okay. Tyler and Josh welcome any worries or questions.

Josh's mouth goes crooked at that one, though.

He scratches the scruff on his chin; he really is growing his beard out.

"I guess we're both more comfortable with having someone else." He lifts his shoulders while speaking, trying to make sense of himself. "It's not that we're not enough for each other. God, no. I love them. It's that we both prefer to have a third person because it's just. . . Better that way. I don't know. I just know that it also benefits our relationship because it takes a lot to trust someone like that. And it takes a lot for someone to trust us like that."

Brendon's listening to every word, because even he didn't know that much. Maybe Carina will continue to ask questions that open his mind.

Tyler had been looking at Josh the entire time, examining every inch of his face from the bridge of his nose to his lips.

They turn to Carina and Brendon. "In other words, I guess we aren't normal." They chuckle a bit to themself.

Tyler is very self-aware.

Carina shrugs. "That doesn't mean anything." She glances over to her mother and Grace, checking up on them for a moment. "Because there's a difference. You and Josh obviously care about him, it's not just for your own benefit. Yeah, maybe I don't understand everything, but that doesn't mean I should judge. As long as you all are happy, that's what matters." They've nearly discarded the game now. "And maybe it isn't normal, but who cares, right?"

Tyler and Josh both purse their lips into a smile.

"Right." Tyler replies.

Carina sets her cards down and leans back into the chair, turning to look at Brendon. "He just means a lot to me and all I want for him is to feel comfortable and happy in a relationship."

Brendon's looking at her as well, they're looking at each other. Really, Carina is too good for him. Everyone sitting at this table is too good for him.

How did he get so lucky?

"That's what we want to give him." Josh mutters, then is checking the time on his phone. He starts to stand up, and a flash of panic goes across Tyler's face. "I have someone at noon, so I have to get going." He looks down at Carina with a cheery face. "It was really nice to meet you."

Carins grins. "It was nice to meet you too!"

Josh nods and goes around the table to Brendon, reaching his hand out. He grabs it easily, and Josh is helping him out of his seat, pulling him into a hug. "I'll see you later." He whispers. "And take care of Tyler, okay?" Brendon nods frantically, because, why wouldn't he? It's the least he could do for them, so he'll try his best.

Josh holds him just a bit longer before pulling away. He looks at Tyler instead, cocking his head to the side to indicate that the two of them should talk somewhere else.

Tyler understands. They stand, connecting hands with him and are lead off to the hall where they could speak privately.

As soon as they do, Carina grabs Brendon's wrist. "I like them." She says.

He pushes out a breath of relief. "Fuck, thank god."

Carina frowns at the reaction. "Did you think I wasn't going to?"

"No-- I don't know. I didn't, it's just. . . I've been so nervous of something going really bad and," he sighs. "To have the three of you meet is just really scary because you all mean so much to me and if anything happened, I. . . I wouldn't know how to take it." He falters, he's not sure the nerves will ever end today.

He then glances over to Tyler and Josh only because he's curious. He watches Tyler listen, and nod, holding onto Josh like they might never see him again. It's obvious he's reassuring them, because he's doing the exact same thing he did when they had gotten into that argument last time.

They pull apart just a little, Josh's hands at their waist while Tyler's rest at his shoulders. They say something so clear it's hard to miss. I love you. Passed between them before he goes, and Brendon is also watching when they kiss. First, it's to Tyler's nose, then, their cupid's bow, and finally, their lips. Tyler pulls him in close when it happens, and one hand ends up at his chin to guide it.

Their eyes close, they're savoring it.

It lasts longer than usual, the two of them continuing to go in for more and Brendon wants to look away because he should, but he's not. He doesn't, no, not until at least the sixth kiss when Tyler opens their eyes and looks directly at him.

His face is flushed when he turns away, heartbeat increasing.

Brendon completely missed what Carina had said, but he pretends he doesn't. It isn't long before Tyler's back to the table, sitting down in front of him with the subtlety of a smirk on their face.

"Josh is really nice," Carina says.

Tyler nods, but underneath the table, they're hitting knees with Brendon again. Definitely purposely; it's like another form of footsie.

Brendon swallows thickly, because he already knows this weekend with just the two of them has a lot in store.

***

I wanted to give a big thank you to lemonjosh for drawing some absolutely amazing stuff inspired by the book. You're so unbelievably talented, keep being you.