Every flower blooms on its own sweet time.

Fortunes are a funny thing, Brendon thinks. He doesn't know if taking guidance from a small slip of paper in a cookie is very practical, but it's definitely interesting to see how accurate things can get.

Pathetically, he keeps the fortune tucked behind his phone case, maybe as a good luck charm, maybe false hope, he isn't sure.

When Brendon had come back from lunch, he doesn't have time to talk to Lukas, he had quite a few hours left ahead of him and he'd much rather do his job than fall behind because of slacking off to talk to a friend.

Besides, it wasn't that important, was it?

He shrugs it off, deciding to tell him tomorrow.

He was nervous thinking about it, not having told Luke about Josh nor Tyler.

How would he react?

Brendon doesn't have the courage to tell him about Tyler, that's for sure. Even the thought of telling his friend about Josh makes him uneasy.

He'll have to figure it out tomorrow, in the meantime, he's busy.

***

On Wednesday, Brendon spends the morning trying to ease down the anxiety building up. This is proven difficult; his foot taps repeatedly against the floor, cheeks get chewed raw, and his hands tremble on the mouse.

He worries too much.

He can't pinpoint where the nerves are coming from exactly. It could be the fact that Brendon just replays the whole incident with Debby in his head, or it could be the fact that he's scared to tell Lukas he's seeing a man. It could be the fact that he feels an overwhelming amount of guilt knowing he won't tell him about Tyler.

When will he tell anyone?

He doesn't want to keep them a secret because of his own insecurities, and it's sad knowing that feels like the only reasonable option, though.

Brendon wants to tell people how good of a cook Tyler is, and how peculiar all their outfits are. He wants to tell people that he's only ever seen them paint their thumbs, and that they have a lot to say but keep to themself most of the time.

Yet, he doesn't.

He can't, it seems.

One emotion always overpowers the other. Terror over adoration.

It's foolish how much negativity rules over him; positivity sinks low to his toes and doesn't rise until he forces it to.

Right now, it feels impossible to force it, so when he meets Lukas in the break room, he makes sure to take the deepest breath he can to keep himself steady, ready, comfortable enough.

"You may have ditched me yesterday, but I still brought you food." Luke chuckles, popping the Cup 'O Noodle in the microwave.

Brendon lips turn upwards. "Thanks."

The breakroom only has a few other coworkers inside today. Coworkers he'll certainly never talk to. They keep in one corner, on their phones, only speaking when they feel generous enough to. They're definitely the type of people he'd like to stay away from although he's admittedly done it himself with Debby.

That's a different situation, though.

Debby. . . He hasn't seen her much either, it's a good thing.

Ryan and Ryland pass by every once and awhile to say hello, she stays at her cubicle.

Things are going rather well, he'd say.

Truly, he doesn't want Debby in his life, he never has. She thinks power and seduction are the way to everyone's heart, and that's not how it works for him.

It's sick, really.

Brendon doesn't know much about building relationships, he just knows she's done it all wrong.

"Here you go," Lukas interrupts his thoughts, placing a steaming cup of noodles in front of Brendon on the table. "One for you, and one for me." He sits down in front of him.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He shrugs. "Now, I won't let you stall any longer. Tell me how it went."

It's not forceful at all, he's only curious, he's only excited.

Brendon clears his throat, knuckles looking extra sharp and pale as he reaches for the plastic fork Lukas had also brought for the two of them. He wants to eat as much as he could, delay this conversation even more, he's not that thoughtless though.

"Uhm, what do you want to know?" He is aware, just pitifully stalling.

"Well, who did you meet for lunch? Where'd you guys go? Did you have a good time?" Luke's features lift.

Brendon's eyes fall. "I met up with this, uh, this-this guy I've been talking to." His heart skips a beat, scared of the reaction he'll receive.

Lukas, though, doesn't say anything, he's only looking at Brendon expectantly, waiting for him to continue. He's leaning closer, waiting, waiting, and waiting even more.

Brendon doesn't know what to think.

"Okay," he finally says.

"Okay." Brendon repeats. Lukas must not care, it's a relief.

"Well, what's his name? What's he like?"

Brendon smiles to himself. "His name's Josh." Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh. He only ever talks about Josh. "He's a photographer. He's got tattoos and a nose piercing and gauges. Really curly hair, super nice."

"Sounds cute." Luke utters before eating some noodles.

"Yeah." Brendon nods, agreeing.

"How long have you two been talking?" He asks, nosey, but friends are.

"About a month or so now." It doesn't feel like that long, it's weird. "I've met up with him a few times. I went to thei-- his house for dinner last week." He flushes a dark shade at the slip up, pulse anything but weak.

Lukas doesn't seem to catch it. Lukas doesn't know.

"Things are getting pretty serious then, hmm?" He says instead.

The only thing audible to Brendon is how loud his heart is thump, thump, thumping. "Yeah, yeah."

"Have any pictures?" Lukas smirks almost.

"I mean, just the ones from Tinder." He shrugs. It's a lie. He has plenty, but they all have Tyler in them. Josh has sent multiple pictures of him being obnoxious, grinning so big his eyes close, while Tyler didn't look impressed one bit.

It's amusing, in a way.

Brendon takes his phone out and opens his gallery, slightly embarrassed that he's saved the pictures.

He hesitantly hands it over to Lukas, whose eyebrows lift. Brendon takes this time to eat his food, carefully watching his friend look at the photo, praying he wouldn't swipe, the mirror picture of Josh and Tyler clear in his mind.

"Fuck, he really is cute." He mutters.

Brendon snickers quietly, taking his phone back.

He scrolls through his photos, a yearn to see them both again haunts him.

"He's a keeper."

"I think so too," Brendon mumbles, it feels so wrong. He doesn't understand the whole relationship the three of them have but he doesn't need to for him to know how fucking horrible it feels not to include Tyler. They aren't as close as he and Josh are, but he wants them to be, badly. That's all he wants right now, for things to feel right.

Maybe he wants to touch Tyler's hands too, and hug them too.

Of course he does.

Brendon can physically feel the toll this is taking on him.

He can't finish his food, he's barely eaten and he feels full. Full of guilt.

Their conversation about Josh ends, he's never been more glad. He couldn't say anything else without bile rising in his throat. He's getting sick, and he should, it's well deserved.

Lukas talks the rest of the time, getting forced smiles and small hums from Brendon along the way.

It's like that for the rest of break.

***

As soon as Brendon is home, he lets out an absolutely dreadful sound of distress, fists practically going numb by the tightness he's forcing them into. He's sharp from every edge, even his own head.

Horrible, he, is horrible.

Brendon pushes out a breath or two to relax himself, undressing hurriedly for no reason in particular except the fact that he needs to move, to distract himself, he's pissed.

His coat is strung out on the couch, his shoes are at the door, his unbuttoned shirt is on the bed, and so are his pants.

The whole apartment is a mess, still.

One day, he'll clean.

One day, maybe Tyler and Josh will come over. He'll have to then.

Brendon sighs, falling down onto his sheets and running a hand through his hair.

Being disappointed in himself isn't new, but it's also never been this bad. Tyler doesn't deserve to be thrown aside, Tyler doesn't deserve to be mistreated. They've done nothing wrong, and Brendon can't muster up enough courage to tell the people he's closest to about them because he's so afraid of being looked down upon.

He's playing it safe, is what he's doing.

Telling Carina and Lukas about Josh is easy.

Telling Carina and Lukas about Josh and Tyler, though, isn't.

Brendon huffs, blindly searching for his phone in the pocket of his pants. He needs to ask about Friday.

He fixes his glasses to see the screen properly, going to messages. Quickly, he catches himself before he could click on Josh's profile. It's sad how instinctive it is.

Brendon bites his lip, clicking on Tyler's instead.

Their conversations together are very minimal, terse, depressing.

Hey, did Josh tell you about us doing something together on Friday?

He can only hope Tyler isn't busy. He doesn't want to bother them, but at the same time, he's been using that excuse far too much. It's getting tiring, holding off like that. He wants to talk to them, and it's hard, because he knows how much more easy-going it is to talk with their husband instead.

He's always taking the easiest route.

Yeah.

He tells me everything.

The thought makes him shiver. It doesn't suprise him, no, definitely not, he just wonders how far it goes.

If you're not busy, do you think I can call? Plan something.

Brendon is breathing heavy. Not from being upset, he's completely run down and now is dreadfully nervous. He doesn't know if Josh is there, which makes the churning in his stomach worse. It's more comfortable talking to Tyler knowing he's around, he's not sure why.

Sure.

Brendon nods to no one, hand trembling horribly as he presses on the call button, shakily bringing it to his ear.

He listens to ringing longer than he'd like before Tyler picks up.

"He-hello?" Brendon stutters.

"Hey," Tyler mutters, gravely, like Tyler.

Their voice strikes something sensitive within him; chest going hot, he scratches at his neck. His heart beat louder than it was in the breakroom, irritably haunting his ears.

"Um, I-I don't really plan things, so. . ."

"It's fine." Tyler says, he can hear them watching TV. "I don't think we should do anything special. I think it'd be nice for you to just come over, and we can do whatever."

It does sound nice, every time they see each other it's almost like a date, it would be a relief.

"Okay, yeah, that uh, that sounds good." Brendon's lip twitches.

He would assume Tyler's nodding in agreement. "I'll tell Josh when he gets back."

Josh isn't home. "Where is he?"

"Walking Jim." They reply, shuffling. "Actually, I think they're here, one second."

Brendon waits, anxiety slowly easing down the longer he stays on phone with Tyler. He's getting more comfortable with them, and all of them. Their voice, their stare, their thoughts. He should have done it a lone time ago, he knows.

The door opens and Jim barks excitedly, Brendon assuming he's happy to see his other owner.

"Who's on the phone?" He hears.

"Brendon." Tyler mumbles.

"Oh," Josh sounds surprised, it makes him frown. He really has been neglecting Tyler.

"I was thinking we shouldn't do anything too special, maybe have him come over and we can decide then." Tyler tells him, sounding muffled.

Brendon might actually prefer it to be more casual, going there specifically for a dinner makes him feel like they expect something from him. If he goes there just to spend some time with the two of them, he would be able to take it at his own pace, which Josh said is what they want to do for him.

"Sounds good to me." He sounds close. "I kinda just want to relax anyways."

Tyler hums. "Me too."

Brendon stays quiet, not sure if he should say goodbye or wait until someone says something to him again.

He can hear them kiss, once, twice, three times, and then Tyler whispers something he can't quite catch, but Josh definitely does. He snickers. "I need to shower, I'm all sweaty."

He audibly pulls away, they huff in response.

"Come around four on Friday." Brendon takes a moment to realize they're talking to him.

"Okay." He agrees.

"Okay. I have to go, I'll see you then." Tyler sounds rushed.

"Bye."

"Bye." They hang up, and Brendon throws his head back further into the pillow.

He wishes for it to be Friday already. Waking up in his dark room, on a small bed, getting dressed in the same clothes, and going to work, then repeating, is not what he wants to do every day. Yes, it's a lot better having Lukas there, but he also wants to see Tyler and Josh more often than he is.

He wants to know them like they know each other.

Every flower blooms on its own sweet time, he reminds himself.

Brendon discards the fact that he's trusting a fortune cookie to dictate his love life.

Although being nervous as usual, he's more than excited to see Tyler and Josh again. He feels ready, and for what? He doesn't know, he only knows he wants to be around them every chance he gets.

It's great to finally feel capable of building a relationship.

In reality, he's never felt competent before.

This whole month has been a journey for him; he's managed to push himself to do things that he's always wanted. He has friends, he's beginning to pursue a relationship, and is gradually taking flirts and compliments as they come.

To Brendon, these small things are big things. He's glad he's getting to experience them.