Thursday was just like the day before. Brendon didn't see Debby, again, and although that might sound relieving, it was only making him even more anxious. Was she planning something? What if she wasn't even at work.

As usual, he tries not to think about it. He's too paranoid for his own good though; he thanks Debby for making it worse.

Today, he eats lunch with Luke, this time they have a steady enough conversation.

Lukas talks more than Brendon but that's just expected. Brendon has never been the kind to keep a conversation going, all he was good for was observation and terse nods.

And that's okay, he tries to tell himself.

Not everyone is made out to be ready for the world.

***

Brendon didn't get much sleep last night. His mind was running faster than he's ever ran physically.

He thinks too much, and that's definitely a downside to having such an independent thought process but Brendon had no control over himself and he never has. Tyler and Josh took over his mind and became the emperors. Ever since he met them on Tinder a couple of weeks ago, they had been.

Brendon has never been too fond of being romantically interested in people in fear of their kept thoughts of him.

He's hoping to overcome this fear today.

With that in mind, he sighs, sitting up in bed.

He still has that almost empty bottle of beer on his bedside table from when he and Josh first started talking. It wasn't only that, but his whole apartment was just a mess. It doesn't change, and when it does, it's for the worst.

"Gross ass," Brendon mutters to himself.

He grabs the bottle as he stands, body aching.

He considers cleaning soon, if things go well with Tyler and Josh they might even come to visit.

Knowing that is terrifying on its own. The only people who have been inside his home are his siblings and nephews. It's not often either, it's only when they want something for their own benefit that they seek out in Brendon.

His family was just a disaster.

He pours the rest of the beer down the drain and sets the bottle onto the counter like all the others.

It was then when he looks at the time on the oven, it was already almost eleven. He still needed to shower, and choose what was most appropriate to wear for the occasion.

Brendon's almost in a panic, but he trusts himself enough to get these things done before it's too late.

***

His shower was warm and his clothes were even warmer. He stares at himself in the mirror and flips his hair over and over again until he was tired of it.

It was well over eleven now, he needed to leave.

The apartment is still a mess and so is he, but he's ready anyways.

He grabs his keys from the counter, chest feeling heavy. He leaves with anxiety caving in on him, but there was nothing he can do about that.

***

Brendon sits in his car longer than he should. He can't help it.

He didn't want to admit to himself before arriving that he'd be this much of a mess but the certainty lingered in the back of his mind, and now it's proven.

He's leaning against his steering wheel, chest caving in faster as the seconds passed. Brendon wants to keep it under control, he always does, but right now if feels almost impossible. The last thing he wanted today was to let nerves get the best of him.

The car is silent, empty. It's quickly being filled with terse gasps and shallow breathing. Brendon hates it, it's like his insecurities are bouncing right back at him by how small the space was.

Sitting up straight, he's going to push himself. He needs to.

"In three," he says, he realizes he talks to himself a lot.

He inhales to the best of his ability, closing his mouth and holding his breath for three seconds before exhaling.

He does this again, and again, until he's done it enough for his breathing to come close to regulating.

Josh should already be here. He shouldn't keep him waiting.

Brendon pushes the car door open and shakily steps out, shoving his keys into his front pocket.

The coffee shop isn't anything special. It isn't Starbucks, it's a local shop that most know because of the name. It's like a signature where they live, Brendon learned. The food is usually better than the drinks-- especially coffee-- and yet Josh and Tyler talk so highly about it.

Brendon doesn't get it.

He's not sure he will.

He slowly makes his way into the joint, the strong smell of coffee beans are making his nose burn.

Brendon is certain he saw Josh in the window before coming in. He stands at the entrance like an idiot, only trying to prepare himself the most he can before sitting down. What if he says the wrong thing? What if they don't like him in person? What if he makes bad jokes or sounds like a total loser? Brendon remembers why he has such a hard time meeting people now, his knees are going to buckle if he doesn't sit down soon.

"Brendon?"

He looks that direction. Josh, yes, it's Josh.

His lips twitch into a neurotic smile, he's not ready.

Josh smiles back, a lot wider and a lot less anxious than Brendon. The only thing he can do is walk over there, and so he does.

He slips into the seat in front of him, fiddling with his fingers underneath the table instantaneously.

"Hey," Brendon mutters, Josh's eyes are just as bright as they are in the pictures. Brendon can hear his heart beat, but the movement and pace is even more erratic. He's hoping coffee, or anything really, will calm him down. He already feels panic settling in his stomach.

"Hey." Josh's eyes squint, he looks so happy.

Brendon swallows, gulps, and runs his hand through his hair, looking around so he didn't have to look at the trigger.

Josh already is catching onto his uneasiness fast.

"Are you okay?" He asks, pulling Brendon's attention right to him again. His eyebrows are furrowed together in a worrisome manner, he genuinely looks sympathetic without knowing the cause.

"Yeah. Yeah. I-I-I just," Brendon sighs, lifting his hand from under the table and tapping on the wood. "I just get nervous really easily, I'm sorry. New things scare the shit out of me." He frowns a tad while speaking.

Josh nods, he seems to process it faster than Brendon does.

"I can't tell you not to worry, but just know you're going to be alright." He says easily, he's so calm.

Brendon nods his head like Josh, staring outside and watching the cars pass by.

"Besides, what's scaring you, anyways?"

Brendon bites his lip at the question. Here it is. Saying one thing could ruin this whole day, ruin this whole relationship built from texts and pictures and phone calls. His hands get clammy like they always do, his breathing begins to labor once more.

"I don't. . . I don't wanna say the wrong thing--"

"You won't. Just tell me, it's okay."

Brendon looks into his eyes. They're so warm, so welcoming. He's thankful Josh is so considerate with his horrid emotions.

"I, I'm so worried I'm going to mess something up." He begins, resting his elbows on the table and keeps his eye contact with Josh. "And this is just so new for me, not even the three-people thing, relationships in general. I haven't been on an actual date in a while, let alone been with someone officially."

Brendon shakes his head, looking outside again.

"Please don't think it's because of you, it's not. But since I haven't even been with one person in forever, being with two is terrifying."

Josh tilts his head, Brendon turns to look at him.

"I get why you're scared. It is a scary thing, I'm not going to say it's not." Brendon enjoys how peacefully blatant he tends to be. That's definitely one of his strong suits. "The difference between us and you and everyone else is that we understand. We've been there. We're not going to persecute you or treat you like you are the third person, because none of us are."

Brendon bites his lip.

"We only want you to feel welcomed, not scared." Josh says. His tone of voice is so soothing.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're pretty damn good at helping someone feel better?" He chuckles delicately, so does Josh.

He shrugs. "A few times."

Brendon decides to hold back on telling Josh that he's especially anxious to mess up around Tyler. He doesn't want to slip, everything is just so new to him.

Suddenly the bell above the door chimes again and Josh is grinning ear to ear, looking that direction.

They must be here.

Brendon sits up straighter, clearing his throat and shifting his eyes. His heart beat is so loud, deafening almost. He tries to think about what Josh said. We only want you to feel welcomed, not scared. We only want you to feel welcomed, not scared. We only want you to feel welcomed, not--

"Hey, babe." Josh stands up, hugging Tyler once they've walked over and kissing their cheek.

Brendon notices how strange their attire is, definitely different than casual every day clothes, but not in a bad way. They look great, black turtle neck, khaki colored pants and black boots. He also notices how Tyler's taller than Josh, not drastically or anything but it's still extremely off-putting.

"Sorry it took so long, the traffic today was horrible." They roll their eyes, pulling away from the embrace and turning to sit down. "Hi." They say once seeing Brendon sat.

"Hi." He purses his lip into a grin.

Josh is about to sit back down until his name is called, he hums. "I'll be right back."

The two watch him walk over to the counter, and all Brendon can think about is how much he wants to say something else to Tyler because a hello isn't enough, but his throat feels strained; he feels incapable.

Josh picks up drinks and mutters something to the employee before he is back at the booth.

"I got you your favorite." Josh says, handing Tyler their drink.

They nod once it's in their hands. "Thanks."

Josh sits back down, taking a sip of his coffee, looking across the table at Brendon. "Do you want anything? I'll pay."

Brendon is biting the inside of his cheek. He already feels like he's left out and it hasn't even started, really. He tries not to think about it too much, knowing Josh and Tyler weren't making him feel this way purposefully. He reminds himself that if he really wants to do this he needs to start getting used to the dynamic and not shy away from it.

"I'm not sure I'm going to be able to stomach anything right now, but thank you."

Brendon looks at their ring fingers while the two of them drink, seeing silver bands adoring their skin.

"C'mon. . ." Josh shakes his shoulders, face suggestive and playful.

"Well, maybe just a grande black coffee." Brendon says.

"That's more like it. One second." He stands, walking into the small line that formed.

Tyler sets their drink down, their features are a lot less bright compared to Josh. They have hooded eyes, puffy cheeks, and a pouted lip. "I'm really glad you decided to meet with us."

"I am, too."

"Josh always tells me how nice you are, and I can tell whenever he shows me texts or even when I've been messaging you myself. You're different than anyone else we've met, you're actually open to new ideas." Tyler explains, it's kind of like they're thinking out loud. "You know, people always say how open they are to new things, but when it finally comes down to it they're closed-minded. People are scared of things they don't understand and they aren't willing to push themselves to understand. You're different, though. I appreciate that."

Brendon feels more comfortable now that Tyler's spoken openly.

His heart beat begins to regulate and his hands aren't sweating as much anymore.

Josh and Tyler really are welcoming.

"It. . . it scares me but I'm willing to push myself. Sometimes the best things come out of doing that." Brendon shrugs, Josh sits back down.

"It'll be done in a few." He breathes. "What were you guys talking about?"

"I was just telling him that I'm glad he's here. We don't see people like him very often." Tyler drinks from a straw, it's definitely not coffee, Brendon isn't too sure what it is, really. He's waiting for his coffee so it wasn't too awkward.

Josh nods, agreeing with what his husband said.

"Wanna know something about Tyler?" Josh asks, and Brendon says yes, he wants to know more about the both of them. Tyler, on the other hand, squints their eyes, not sure where this was going. "They're really quiet when they want to be but if something comes to mind they can just go on-and-on. It's really cute, and kinda comforting too. They're so intelligent. I think that has something to do with being a script coordinator."

Brendon lips turn upwards at the information. He could already tell. "You're a script coordinator?"

They lift their shoulders. "Yeah. Usually for commercials and stuff, nothing too big."

"That's still really cool."

Tyler agrees, suddenly turning around to face Josh, upset because he said their ranting is cute. They're playfully irritated that their husband praised them, Brendon smiles when watching the couple go back and forth. Tyler's cheeks are a subtle pink, Josh continues to play with them.

Tyler sighs, and rolls their eyes. "What do you do?"

Brendon isn't interesting. He doesn't want to talk about himself. "I work in an office setting."

"Do you have to wear slacks and a button up?"

"Uh, yeah."

Josh laughs in a small manner as he drinks his coffee, eyes glued to Tyler.

"They're really nosey about fashion in different work settings." He says once pulling his cup away. "Well, just nosey about fashion in general."

"It's interesting." Tyler mutters.

Brendon assumes it's a hobby, maybe that's why their outfit isn't something he'd see everyday.

"It's a hobby of theirs." Josh states, almost like he knew what Brendon was wanting to ask. "You should see our closet, Jesus fucking Christ. It's not even ours, really, it's just theirs with a few of my pants and t-shirts." He's very animated when he talks, Brendon watches every motion.

He smiles.

"Josh!" An employee calls out. Finally, Brendon will get his coffee.

"That's yours." He says to Brendon whilst getting up.

Tyler looks over to him once Josh walks away, they tilt their head to the side. "You're really nervous, aren't you?"

Why does it feel like they interrogate him every time Josh leaves.

"Yeah. I'm just not very good with, uh, with social situations." Brendon purses his lips and stares at his hands, his stomach aches knowing Tyler is focused on him. They wreak of intimidation.

"I wasn't very good, either, for a long time." They try. Brendon wants to tell them it's been this way his whole twenty-nine years of living and nothing has changed. He still trembled at the thought of confrontation, and being here with them and Josh is exciting, but absolutely destroying him at the same time. "I know it's hard but just open up, you can trust us, I promise. And if you're scared, don't think about it, just keep going. You shouldn't let things hold you back from succeeding."

Brendon has quickly caught on to how much Josh and Tyler want this to work out; they both have been trying to console Brendon so they can have a good time today.

Maybe that's what he needs.

To be consoled until he finally makes it. To what? He doesn't know yet.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Brendon nods to himself.

Josh comes back with Brendon's coffee, and smiles are passed between them.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He sits back down, coffee in one hand and Tyler's in the other.

It's going to take some time getting used to, but everything does. Brendon has no idea where their relationship could possibly be heading, and for once, he's not so paranoid about it. He has a good feeling, something he doesn't get very often. He watches the way Tyler and Josh look at one another and then how they look at him, they're just glowing. At that point, his clammy hands and upset stomach couldn't bother him as much as they had, what mattered was getting to know these two people who were making his life just a little bit brighter each time they spoke.

Brendon felt okay with whatever they were going to throw at him next, because they're somehow gaining his trust faster than he can trust himself.

***

I love you guys. That's all.