He quickly stepped aside so I could enter. 

I had been in his chambers before, but this time was different. The room was dark and cold. 

I shivered slightly as the icy wind blew against my moist face. I had managed to stop crying but I was still trembling.

I heard the door close behind me and the lights popped on. 

''You can lay him on the bed,'' Grindelwald said, gesturing toward the royal bed near me. 

I noticed that the blankets were roughly cast aside and fell half off the mattress. I carefully placed Owyn down on the bed and whispered sweet, encouraging things to him.

I saw the blood dripping down onto the bed, leaving dark spots on the white sheets.

I turned to Grindelwald who was rummaging in a closet. ''What happened?'' he asked with his back turned to me. 

I gulped and tried to speak. ''I-I was walking through the forest when I heard soft screeches, so I went to investigate and found him half dead.''

I had said it. The truth. Owyn was dying, and I might lose him too.

New tears started to form in my eyes. ''You need to tell me exactly in what condition he was,'' Grindelwald said turning around and dropping several items at the foot of the mattress. 

''I-I. He-he.'' I stopped talking and Grindelwald turned to me concerned. I cleared my throat and continued, my face hard, ''He had a broken wing and a big gash across his belly.''

He nodded and smiled encouragingly. He turned back to Owyn. ''Did you notice anything peculiar?'' he asked raising Owyn's left wing. 

''Yes. I couldn't heal the wound with magic. That's why I went to you. I thought you might know what to do,'' I explained, wiping my eyes dry.

He nodded and took a small vial with a transparent liquid inside. He uncorked it, took a cotton bud and wetted it with the liquid. Thereafter he started dabbing it around the edges of the large bleeding wound. ''Can you pass me my wand, please?'' he asked holding out his hand.

I quickly scanned the room and spotted it at the nightstand. I dived for it and grasped the knobby wood. I passed it to him and he muttered some incantations while pointing it at the wound.

I watched Owyn anxiously, his gaze growing ever more distant. My eyes were burning again. I didn't want to cry. Crying was a sign of weakness. I wasn't weak.

''It's not a bad thing to cry, (Y/N),'' he said still focusing on Owyn. I knew he had read my thoughts. I sensed it. I quickly closed my mind to him and wiped my eyes dry. 

He sighed. ''Maybe you should get some fresh air, it might help,'' he said beckoning towards the balcony.

I nodded slowly and walked outside leaving him with Owyn.

My Occlumency had never really worked well when I was emotional, which was also a reason why I preferred to be alone when I am sad or angry.

I closed my eyes and heaved a deep sigh. Taking slow, steady breaths to calm myself, I heard Owyn screech softly behind me.

I looked around and saw Grindelwald still mumbling incantations. 

I returned my gaze to the forest down below where I had just found him, dying. 

Suddenly I felt angry. Someone had hurt him. He had traveled long distances before. How had this happened? No cat or other animal had ever caught him.

Someone tried to kill my best friend, I thought, gritting my teeth. 

I was so angry and filled with hate that I didn't hear Grindelwald approach me. 

He noticed I was tense and angry, so he placed his hands on my shoulders, slowly massaging them until I relaxed.

He went to stand next to me and bowed forward, his elbows leaning against the railing of the balcony. ''He's going to be alright,'' he said slowly. 

I sighed relieved and suddenly felt ashamed for disturbing him so late at night.

''The wound wasn't caused by any normal animal,'' he started.

''Scamander,'' I whispered as the thought popped into my head. ''I'm sorry, what?'' he asked looking at me with slight concern. ''It was Scamander!''

I hadn't meant to yell but I wasn't able to keep my anger in. I didn't know how else to express it. ''I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell,'' I said looking back at the vast sea of trees.

''It doesn't matter. You've been through a lot. You just almost lost another important part of your life,'' he said. ''But why do you suspect Scamander?'' he asked glancing at me. 

I shrugged. ''I guess it's because he's with Tina Goldstein and I've used Owyn to send a letter back to her for Queenie,'' I explained. ''I think he might've sent a creature after him if magic was involved.''

He watched me surprised. ''Did you just think of that?'' he asked impressed. I nodded uncomfortably. ''You're great,'' he mumbled barely audible. 

He probably hadn't expected me to hear it but I felt a little bad when I did because it meant nothing. At least not what I had hoped it would mean before the kiss. All of those words had no meaning at all. Not if they were pointed towards me, he had made that much clear. 

''Aren't you bothered by the cold without a shirt?'' I asked, blinking my tears away while watching his pale skin. I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized he was actually shirtless. 

He shook his head. ''I like the cold,'' he said.

Now I had calmed down a bit I noticed he was pretty muscular and I couldn't help but gulp.

''Thank you for saving him,'' I said smiling slightly. 

''Of course,'' he said nodding. 

I looked back at Owyn and saw his eyes had closed now, his chest heaving and dropping slowly. 

A lump formed in my throat as I saw him, his feathers still red of the blood. ''He was almost dead,'' I whispered softly. ''I had almost lost him.'' My eyes started watering again, but the weight of the tear was gaining too quickly and it dropped onto my cheek before I had the chance to wipe it away. 

''I know you want to look strong and like nothing can hurt you, and I understand.'' I turned back to him and looked into his eyes.

''I know how it is to act like you have no feelings except anger. Believe me, I do. But around me, you don't have to act,'' he said taking my hands. ''I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel you're allowed to show what you feel. I understand you don't want to do that around people you do not trust, but please, don't hold back anything when you're with me. I want to help you, (Y/N), but that is only possible if you let me,'' he said massaging my palms with his thumbs.

I nodded slowly. His touch always got me paralyzed.

''I know you go to the forest when you're upset,'' he said. ''Do you want to tell me what happened that got you upset?'' he asked continuing to massage my hands. ''I-I had a nightmare,'' I said my cheeks lighting up.

It felt childish to say I got upset because of a nightmare. 

''Hm,'' he encouraged. ''I was walking through the corridors of the castle when my father stood behind me. He said I had a little brother, that I wasn't the only one who escaped the fire. Then he got me angry and I started saying it wasn't real. Then only darkness and voices. So many voices. My mother, father, brother and also Queenie were telling me I was nothing, that I was not good enough.''

I was crying freely now. 

Retelling my nightmare made it feel more real and I felt ashamed when I came to the part where he came into the story. ''I-I can't tell you the next part,'' I said looking down. He lifted my head up again by placing his finger under my chin and slowly raising it until I looked into his eyes.

''Has it got anything to do with me?'' he asked softly. 

I couldn't reply. 

I shouldn't. 

If he knew I had dreams about him he might get the wrong idea, or he might think I think he's a bad person. ''It's okay to reply,'' he said. 

Then I nodded so slowly that I wasn't even certain if I had moved.

''What happened? You don't have to leave things out,'' he assured me. His hands traveled from my hands up my arms and down again. ''I-uhm, you appeared from the darkness and took my hand. Y-you-you kissed me.''

He nodded and encouraged me to continue. ''Then you whispered in my ear I was worthless,'' I said as tears stung my eyes. I was completely flabbergasted when he embraced me tightly. 

''I will never think you're worthless,'' he said his voice trembling slightly.

I wasn't sure if I should wrap my arms around him too, because of his bare skin it might be a little uncomfortable. But if he hugged me without a shirt then that meant I was allowed to hug him back, right? 

I should really stop thinking so much, I declared in my head.

I placed my arms around him and leaned against his chest. I could hear his heart thud and I closed my eyes. His skin was unexpectedly warm, considering he slept without a shirt in a room that was as cold as ice.

I felt a tear drip down my nose and onto him. I quickly wiped it off of his chest and looked up. He was broadly grinning at me. 

There's that grin again, I thought dreamily. He's so handsome!

Stop! You'll only get hurt again if you go down this route!

You're right. But what if I can't resist?

You can, you just need willpower and discipline!

Willpower isn't enough. Go away. I can choose on my own.

Don't say I haven't warned you.

I hated that little voice in my head. Always interrupting whenever I was supposed to be able to have a peaceful moment, it's always there to make my mind race and make me uncertain.  

I couldn't help but remember something that had been on my mind for quite some time now. Since I had joined the Greater Good there had been a question burning in my mind. It was quite personal, but if someone knew the answer, it was him.

''Sir,'' I said looking up at him. ''Do you know what happened before I ended up in the orphanage?''

He looked down at me and hesitantly shook his head. ''I don't, but I can help you find out,'' he said staring into my eyes. ''If you'd like.''

We were looking at each other for a long time and I started to feel drawn to him.

Suddenly Owyn screeched amused and I looked his way. ''Are you sure he's going to be fine?'' I asked. Grindelwald nodded confidently. ''But, it'd be best not to move him too much. He's still weak and moving him might negatively influence his recovery,'' Grindelwald acknowledged.

''But I thought I could take him to my room so I wouldn't have to be alone anymore,'' I said anxiously. 

''I'm afraid your quarters is too far from here,'' he said. 

I suddenly felt cold. ''Sir, I can't sleep alone now. Too much happened,'' I said, terrified of the thought I had to return to my dark room where any hallucination of my family could be lurking.

Tears stung my eyes again. ''Calm down,'' he said. ''If you really don't want to sleep alone again, then you won't have to. You can stay here,'' he announced.

My cheeks lit up. ''B-but, sir,'' I stammered. 

''Yes?'' he said amused. I quickly shook my head. ''Nothing,'' I mumbled.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay with him for the night now. Not after he told me he didn't want to be with me. It might become too painful to be in the same room as him the entire night. But I didn't really have an alternative besides this, the thought of going back to sleep in my dark room really creeped me out, so I decided to take up on his offer and stay there for the night. 

''Where do you want me to conjure the mattress?'' I asked tiredly, looking around and taking out my wand. ''There'll be no need to. You can sleep in the bed. Next to me.''

My face flushed more than it had ever done before. ''We can make a nice place for Owyn to sleep next to the bed. We can lift him off, that's still safe. If you stay here you can stay with him,'' he said.

I did want to stay with Owyn but sleeping in the same bed as Gellert Grindelwald caught me off guard.

''O-Okay, thank you, sir.'' I guess. ''You should get changed then,'' he said gesturing towards the door.

I quickly left the room, leaned against the wall and felt my white-hot cheeks.

Had he just hugged me without a shirt?

Yes, he has, now shut up and get changed. He's waiting for you.