Hey guys! A bit late than the previous chapters. I was publishing this story with a gap of one day, but this chapter was a little late...courtesy of my laziness.

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"Words in double quotes" - talking

'Words in single quotes' - thoughts

(Words in braces) - phone conversations

Part 4

'Should I tell him? But even if I do, will it change anything?'

"Answer me Ragini, please..."

'So many years have gone by...so many years of loneliness for the both of us...'

"Answer me. I...I'm begging you."

'Caused by both of us because we didn't want each other to suffer. And yet, it is he and I who caused the greatest harm of ourselves. How foolish of us!'

"Ragini! Ragini, answer me!"

Ragini let out a bitter smile. "It's too late Laksh."

"It's never to late. You and I are still here, aren't we? Just tell me the truth!"

Ragini looked away in guilt. "Let go of me Laksh. It's futile to dig past graves."

"It ain't futile to dig graves that have never been buried in the first place! You left me, I left you. But there were many things left unsaid. And...and now that I know that perhaps there is a chance of us solving our past differences, I'm not backing down." Laksh let her go and took a step back. "I don't want to ruin your marriage with Ratan. You deserve to live a happy life. But I just want us to part on good terms, you know." He let out a bitter smile. "All I ever wanted was your happiness. But what troubles me day and night is your betrayal. But if I know that there was a reason you did what you did, my pain would end."

Ragini looked into his eyes and could trace the sadness lingering in them. Although there was sadness, she could also see relief and peace. 'Peace? Why? Just because he knows that I didn't actually betray him?' Ragini felt the need to ask him one thing. "Doesn't it bother you that I will be with another man? Is it that easy to let me go?"

"It's not. There will always be a whole in my heart to know that you will be with someone else. But if you're happy..." Laksh let out a teary grin. "That's the reason for my existence. I'll let you go. But remember...no matter what happens, no matter what help you need, no matter whatever favour you require...there will be this man named Laksh Maheshwari who will always be there for you. Always and forever..."

Ragini could see the honesty and determination shining in those brown orbs of his. The sheer truth and commitment that Laksh was displaying how wrong she was about him. As if a boulder being dropped on her, she realized what a big mistake she made...one which surpassed Laksh's by miles. "Laksh, I'm so sorry I...I..." unable to bear the emotions that were clouding her heart and soul, Ragini fell to her knees. She would have landed on the floor, had it not been Laksh who rushed forward to hold her in his arms. "I'm so sorry. So damn sorry!"

"Hey, hey! Hey, it's okay. Breathe Ragini." Laksh panicked seeing Ragini crying breathless. She looked ready to pass out. "Ragini listen to me!" seeing that it wasn't working, Laksh took her hand and placed it over his chest. "Can you feel it Ragini? Can you feel my heartbeat. Ragini! Ragini, concentrate on my voice! Let me through! Let me through whatever is aching you!"

Amidst the cloud of guilt filled emotions and panic, Laksh's voice reached her senses like a distant voice in a faraway shore. Yet, she held on to it and tried to do as he said. She focused on the thump beneath her hand.

'1....2...3...4...5...' she counted his heartbeats as her own panic started subsiding little by little. Breathing in harsh breaths, she sank into his arms, exhausted from her emotional plight. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Laksh smiled at her, a genuine smile. "I...I'll take you back to the hall."

"But didn't you want the truth."

Laksh shook his head. "Oh I do. I feel like a fish who needs water. That desperate I am for the truth. But I won't risk your health for it. Let me get you to Ratan. We'll meet another day and you can tell me everything."

Ragini blinked. "Ratan?"

"Yes. Ratan. You know, your husband." It pained him to say the words, but he tried to lighten the situation. "Or has my handsomeness finally made you realize how it would have been more amazing to be with me?"

However, instead of smiling or chuckling, Ragini's lip quivered and she looked away, mumbling to herself.

"What?"

"He'snotmyhusbandandwenevermarried."

"Slow down will you? I can't understand a thing you said. I could only make out something like 'he's not my husband and' but I couldn't understand the rest."

Ragini looked at him with a flat look.

"What? Stop looking at me like I'm an idiot! You should speak more properly!"

Ragini tried to breathe in calmly. 'Relax Ragini. He's never been the sharpest tool in the shed anyway.'

"Oi! Don't escape into your own world now. I'm-" Laksh suddenly froze, mid-sentence.

Ragini sighed. '1,2,3...and there he goes.'

"WHATTTTTTT!?"

"Finally."

Laksh moved away from her in shock. "Never married!? But that's not possible! I've read newd about you and him and how you're a couple. There is not way the media would lie!"

"They wouldn't lie when they would know the truth. But it's only something me, Ratan, Swara and Sanskar know."

"You trusted that lanky, egoistic Sanskar and not me, your own lover with such an important piece of information!?"

Ragini flinched. "There was no choice."

"Like there wasn't! You could have told me if he was trouble!? Did he have any other girlfriend? Did he cheat you? Oh I ought to be-"

"There's nothing like that! Ratan is a nice guy. His family? Not so much."

Laksh nodded. "So it is his family. Are they abusing you? Do they want him to marry another!? Wait till I expose those rotten old bonkers!"

"That isn't it! Stop moving to conclusions you impulsive git!" Ragini shouted, getting up in frustration. She was usually a sweet girl. But Laksh seemed to get into her nerves breaking all her barriers. Only he had the ability to effect her that way. "Let me explain."

"Ra-"

"Just listen okay?" Laksh shut his mouth and nodded. "That day when you told me to choose Ratan, I was so angry! Ratan visited me that day and well, he became the scapegoat to suffer my wrath. I shouted at him for ruining my life and also revealed my love for you. But Ratan never got offended. Instead, he explained to me that he didn't mind. In fact, turns out, he was actually trying to find a way out of this marriage just as much as me. He had lots of so called 'ambitions' before he wanted to form a family of his own."

"Then why didn't you come to me? Or even tell me?"

"I was going to but...but I told you I was so pissed at you and everything!" Ragini held herself, as if afraid to speak what she did next. "The very next morning I...I went to meet Kavya."

"Why?"

"I told you I was pissed and...and I didn't want to believe that you were letting go our relationship. I wanted to believe that perhaps someone was making you do it!"

Laksh glared. "And so you thought Kavya was the one? Ragini! I'm not brainless, no matter how much of an idiot I could be sometimes. I won't just leave you without a cause! I thought you were supposed to be the intelligent one among us."

"I know okay I just...ugh! Maybe it was your nature rubbing off on me!"

"Great! Now blame me for your actions."

"Well, I wi-"

"Shh! Just continue your story." Laksh interrupted with a serious face.

Ragini swallowed and looked down. "I shouted at her for making you leave me! I told her how you aked me to marry Ratan and shouted at her a lot! But...but you know what she said?"

###Flashback###

Ragini took in harsh breaths, her hair disheveled from all the shouting she did. However, Kavya kept looking at her with a clam face.

This pissed off Ragini all the more. "Stop staring me and answer me damn it!"

Kavya chuckled.

"Do I look like I'm telling you a joke Kavya!?"

Kavya shook her head and sighed. "I wonder why he chose you. You're such a fool."

"Why you little piec-"

"Do you love him?"

Ragini was shocked at her question, which soon turned into anger. "OF course I do! Why else would I come here to scream my lungs out at you in the crack of dawn, when I could have enjoyed my coffee and omelette at home!?"

"Would you value his happiness more than your own?"

"Always! His happiness means everything to me! That is why I won't leave him no matter what happens. I don't care about his money! But you made him believe otherwise!"

Kavya shook her head. "Contrary to what you believe, I'm not that petty as to create false misunderstandings and rumours. If I want Laksh, I would openly cause trouble to ruin your relationship. Which I did attempt yesterday actually."

"Aha! I knew you did something! You slimy, no-fashion sensed, bushy browed witch!"

"You do realize I am a model, don't you?" Kavya replied with an eye-roll. "As for what I did, I found Laksh sitting in the park drunk. It was almost midnight. Lucky for you I happened to return late from a friend's house and found your boyfriend who could have been robbed since he was out of his senses."

Ragini's eyes widened. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine, don't worry. My driver went to drop him home just some minutes before you arrived. You could have met him if you came a little earlier."

Ragini nodded. She didn't know if she should thank her for saving Laksh or still be angry at her.

"Won't you ask me if I tried to seduce him while he was with me. After all, he was drunk and out of his senses. He was at my mercy you could say." Kavya spoke, sitting leisurely on her couch, looking at Ragini with a gloating look.

Ragini's anger returned full force. "What did you do to him!?"

"Well, there was a lot of things I had planned like maybe making him kiss me so that I could take pictures and sent it all around College so that it ruins your relationship."

"KAVYA!"

Kavya let out a bark of laughter. "It's so easy to rile you up, isn't it." However, her laughter turned into a bitter smile. "But I guess the laugh's on me."

Ragini blinked in confusion. "Wh-what?"

Kavya sighed and placed her hand beside her on the couch. "It was here where I told him to sit and sat beside him. I clung to his arm and asked him what was wrong. In his drunken haze, he spilled everything to me. About you, Ratan and how he tried to make you leave him. I felt elated that maybe...maybe now I had a chance. He...he looked so vulnerable and kissable right then. And I tried to keep him distracted while I moved closer to his lips." Kavya smiled. "I was so close but...but then he asked me what happiness meant to me."

"What did you say?"

"I told him being with him would make me happy. Letting me kiss him would make me happy.'But...but I don't love you' is what he told me. So I told him to think I was you. That way his sadness would be over I told him and that he would be happy. You know what he said?"

Ragini swallowed a lump in her throat and looked at her, wiling her to continue.

"He said if he thought I was you, then seeing me happy would make me happy. He told me how your happiness was everything he wished for. I was winning and I had the opportunity to kiss him Ragini."

"But you didn't." Ragini understood. "Why?"

"Because of the look in his eyes." Kavya spoke, looking out of the window with a far away look. "His eyes looked so...so...hollow. It was like he was there but...but his heart was dead."

Ragini sucked in a breath looking down in sorrow.

Kavya looked at her and smiled. "You're lucky Ragini. So damn lucky. To have someone to love you with such devotion, with such pure commitment. He was willing to sacrifice his own happiness for you. Laksh knows that seeing with you another man would kill him from the inside. Yet, for you to be happy, he was willing to suffer through it. He would do anything that makes you happy. And that devotion made me stop. For the first time Ragini I...I felt so ashamed." Kavya glared at her. "And felt envious of you. I wanted such devotion. I felt pity for myself that I would never have that devotion from Lucky. I couldn't stand that sadness of never being loved like that. I fleed to my room Ragini. For the first time I cried that night. I wanted such a love, a love so pure and true."

Ragini was openly crying hearing her words. "He loves me so much but...but he wouldn't let me be with him."

"Because he wants you to be happy. He doesn't want you to have an uncertain and poor future. He is doing everything for you with a heart of stone." Kavya looked at her hands in disgust. "I can't believe it was me who talked to him to get you back!"

"What!?" Ragini looked at her with wide eyes.

"Before he left, I made him understand that none of you would be happy if you go your separate ways. I believe I had successfully made him understand. So you can just pack up your drama and go to him!" Kavya sneered at her. "And for once, try to be more useful. Convincing him should be your job. Quit being an impulsive little girl and be the woman Laksh would want beside him!"

Ragini at once got up. "I...I need to go. I..." unable to continue with the emotions that were overcoming her, Ragini ran away from Kavya's place.

##Flashback end##

"That day I...I didn't know what to do, where to go, what solution to find. But I knew one thing that you were stubborn to hold on to your decision. And even if I was able to convince you that it was okay for me to be with you, you will always feel burdened by me." Ragini looked down, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "How would you be able to worry about your own future when all you do is be worried about me? I would simply hold you down. If you kept worrying about me, you would forget your dreams and try to earn for me. I couldn't let you sacrifice the bright future I saw for you. I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt that I held you down!"

Laksh was trying to process everything that was being told to him. "I don't remember the night because I was drunk but...but I rememeber waking up at her house and she tried talking to me. I listened to her and that was why I tried to go find you later to tell you I was sorry. I wanted you back!"

"But then what?!" Ragini shouted. "Kavya was right. All I was doing was being like a baggage to you. Yes, I supported you, stood by you. But that was not enough to build your dream or achive anything in the real world! I needed to be more responsible and more useful to you. But I was completely useless!"

"No, you were not!"

"Yes, I was and...and then, Ratan showed me a chance. A chance to be useful for once! All the time, it was you who sacrificed your happiness for me. So I wanted to do something that would make you happy." Ragini smiled sadly. "I wanted to give you a way to fulfill your dreams. Do you remember your first performance on the radio?"

Laksh nodded. "They said they were searching for young talents. It was one show which was known to make people famous easily. All they needed was talent."

Ragini shook her head. "It was a lie. The singers they auditioned and allowed to perform were all selected before hand. They paid to be on the show and all the stories about their misfortune or poor families was a lie. It was all for the popularity of the show!"

Laksh's eyes widened. "You're joking!"

"I'm not Laksh."

"Then how was I let in? I never paid them anything! And you...you couldn't have had the money." Laksh looked at her in confusion.

Ragini smiled. "You are right. That's when Ratan comes in. he had told me the previous day that he didn't want the marriage and just wanted me to act as his wife for the media. He needed everyone to think that he was unavailable so that his parents stopped worrying. So..."

Laksh's eyes widened. "So...so you agreed to pretend to be his wife for everyone in return for the money?"

Ragini nodded. "Although the show was dishonest, I knew you had the talent. All you needed was a platform to show your talent and that was it. Have you ever had to look back after it?"

Laksh gritted his teeth. "You're right. I never had to. After the performance, I had multiple producers and writers coming to me...asking me to sing on their shows, albums and movies."

"Exactly. You needed that boost. If yo-" she gasped as she fewlt a tight grip on her arm and Laksh brought her close to him. As she looked up, she noticed that Laksh's face was right before her, only a slight gap between their faces. His eyes seemed so furious. He looked like as if he wanted to hurt her.

"If you weren't my love, I would have hunted you down for what you did Ragini."

"Laksh I..."

"You what!? You ruined everything! Yes, I wanted to succeed.But not at the expense of you! I didn't want to succeed by false means!"

"It wasn't false means. All we did was get you there. But the rest was you." She reached for his face and placed a soft hand on his cheek. "It was all you Laksh. If you weren't good, you would have failed. But you were always talented."

Laksh removed her hand from his face and turned away. "I never wanted my success at the cost of our love."

"I didn't either. But I did it or you! I did it for your happiness! It was the only thing I could think of to help you! To make you happy!"

Laksh let out a bitter laugh. "Happy? Happiness you say!?" he turned to her with red eyes, filled with unshed tears. "Look at me Ragini. Each day, each moment I have lived with the pain of leaving you. Each day I have lived blaming you for your betrayal not knowing the truth. Each day I have blamed myself for being late to reach out to you! And now...now you tell me it was for my happiness!? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU RAGINI!?"

"I didn't know okay!? I thought if I act like I am happy with my decision to marry Ratan, you would think of me as a fickle girl who was only after money. You would grow to hate me. And I wanted you to hate me because...because I wanted you to find someone who you could love again. Someone who would be able to take my place in your heart. Kavya's words scared me that day." Ragini admitted in honesty. "Your devotion towards me scared me not for myself but for you. You didn't give a damn about what happened to you because you were only thinking about me. I was your tragedy and a burden. So...so I left."

**************************************

To be continued.

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~ 🌹Mona 🌹