Ryan

It was almost midnight when I parked in Barbara's estate. The house was wrapped in a dozen ropes of string lights, a beautiful starry jewel among the dark trees.

The sound of the waves reached me when I stepped out of the car. Her house looked over the beach, but was cocooned in its own small forest. It was such an amazing place to live, so open and pure. Jeremy would love it here. I wished I could see it in the light of the day.

"Thank you," she said, tucking her hands in her pockets. "I had fun. Your mother is not the monster you painted her as."

I sputtered, "did I give that impression?"

Her smile was dazzling under the strong lights around. "Kind of."

"My mother is..." I sighed. "She and my father had been absent during most of my childhood and teenage years. My grandparents basically raised me. But I know she regrets it a lot now. So she tries her best to be present in my life, and she's very good to Jeremy."

"She must adore him."

"She does, and he loves her as well," I said. "She's strong headed and too curious for her own good. But she's a good person beneath it all."

"Strong-headed and too curious?" Barbara said, looking at me pointedly.

I grinned. "Point there. She is my mother. I guess that's why she and I butt heads all the time."

And she liked Barbara. My mother tolerated people, she rarely liked anyone though.

But when we were telling her goodbye earlier, she'd whispered in my ear, "do keep her around, darling. She has a good head on her shoulders and more class than your ex-wife and all your ex-girlfriends combined."

I had only given her a look, hoping my amusement didn't show.

Now, Barbara glanced at her house. "Do you- Um- want to come in?" she asked, unsure.

"Maybe later," I said. "You need to have a talk with your sister."

She nodded and sighed. "I do."

"But I mean it. I do want to see your house by day," I said. "I think Jeremy will love it here."

"He would, wouldn't he?" she smiled. "He's welcome to come anytime."

"What about me?"

"You too." She gave me a baby grin that did weird things to my insides.

The front door opened and Eleanor's blonde head peeked out. "If you're not going to kiss goodnight come in already!"

I laughed. Barbara looked at her sister with wide eyes that promised retribution. Eleanor ducked inside and closed the door.

I couldn't resist. I brushed the back of my finger across Barbara's cheek. It was warm despite the cold. "I guess you should go in."

She sniffed, shaking her head at her sister. "Yes. Thank you for tonight. I had fun."

She smiled. Oh, to hell with it.

Before she moved a step, I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She froze, her eyes on me. I grinned. "We can't disappoint, Eleanor, now can we?"

She opened her mouth, then closed it. My grin widened. "Cat got your tongue, Miss Owens?"

She gave me a slow blink. "Ryan?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

I laughed as she walked away. "Good night, Barbara!"

She waved a hand over her shoulder. Amused, I got into my car and waited until she went inside to drive out. That woman was so precious.

Once back in the city, I turned on my phone in a red light. Almost immediately, it rang. Miranda.

I accepted the call. Miranda's voice filled the car.

"Baaaabe..."

"Miranda, are you drunk?"

"Maybeeee." She giggled. "Babe can you pick me up? I'm like, drunk and I have no idea where I am."

"Who are you with?"

"I was with my friends in a club," she drawled. "But we're out and I'm walking all on my own... I don't want to take a cab since I'm definitely wasted..."

I rubbed my face as the green light flashed. "Send me your location and stay put. I'll pick you up."

"M'kay," she said. "love you, babe."

I hung up and shook my head. A minute later, I received her message. It took me over an hour to reach her. She was waiting on the curb with a couple of girls I vaguely recognized. They must be models too.

Miranda climbed the SUV, almost tripping in the process. "Baaaaabe," she said, giving him a woozy smile.

I sighed. "Close the door, Miranda."

"Oh, I forgot!" She closed the door with a giggle. The scent of alcohol suffocated the car.

"Seatbelt." I reminded her. When she struggled to clasp it in, I did it for her.

"Thank you, babe."

I didn't say anything.

"How was your date?" she asked, leaning her head on the headrest to look at me.

"Great," I replied, a small smile teasing my lips. The feel of Barbara's soft cheek was still fresh in my memory.

"Oh, great."

I felt a touch on my thigh. I glanced down to see Miranda's hand there. Pushing her hand away, I continued driving only to feel it again.

"Stop it, Miranda," I said, pushing her hand again.

"Why?" she asked. "It's not like you're dating anyone right now, hmm?"

"That has nothing to do with it."

"Hmm..."

She stayed quiet for the rest of the ride and kept her hands to herself. Once home, I removed my coat and hung it in the closet with Miranda's.

I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, thinking she would go up to her room. Her heels clicked as she came to stand behind me.

"Do you want something-"

My words cut off when her arms circled my waist from behind. I put the glass down, removed her hands and turned around.

"Enough, Miranda. Go to sleep. You're drunk."

She took a step back and pursed her lips. "I'm not that drunk."

"You're not acting like it."

"Why don't you want me?" she asked. "Let's have some fun. Nothing is holding you back."

Shaking my head, I moved past her. "Goodnight, Miranda."

"I'm moving here."

Stopping, I looked over my shoulder at her. "To New York?"

She bit her lip. Her eyes were red and she held onto the counter to keep her balance. "I want you back."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Let's get back together."

"Miranda, I'm not having this discussion right now," I said, rubbing my face. I could feel a headache coming. "It's the middle of the night. You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

"I'm not drunk!" she hissed. "I know exactly what I want."

I held up my hands. "We'll talk tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll listen to what you have to say."

"For Jeremy's sake," she said, rushing her words. "I- I want us to be a family again. For Jeremy's sake. I'm ready to move here, to New York. We can make things work between us again. You and I and Jeremy can live together. We can be a family."

Stunned into silence, I stared at her. My brain struggled to digest her words. Was I dreaming? Was I hallucinating?

She was drunk. That was the alcohol speaking. I resumed my walk to the stairs. "Goodnight, Miranda."

This was the last thing I expected to hear from Miranda. After a long shower, I tossed and turned in my bed. Her words rang in my skull and chased away sleep.

Would I ever consider getting back together with Miranda? The fact that a categorical No wasn't my immediate reaction spoke for itself.

It wasn't because I loved Miranda. I didn't love her. I never truly did. All I'd ever felt for her was an attraction in the beginning of our relationship that faded once I got to know her personality. But when she gave birth to Jeremy, affection and tenderness replaced the indifference I'd felt towards her. She was my baby's mother.

All those positive feelings went straight down the drain when she began taking drugs and neglected our little family. The divorce had crushed every hope of survival for our marriage.

But she was clean now. She had been clean for months. If I was even considering going back to her, it would be for Jeremy's sake.

Barbara's beautiful smile flashed in my mind. I closed my eyes against the vision, my chest constricting with a feeling akin to grief.

But I was getting ahead of myself. Miranda's words were just a result of inverness, and I could be driving myself to insomnia for no reason whatsoever.

It was dawn when sleep finally tugged me to unconsciousness. A few hours later, I woke up even more tired than the night before. Miranda's words flashed in my mind. Grumpy, I changed my clothes and went downstairs.

Miranda and Jeremy were in the kitchen. It was almost a moment of déjà vu, when Barbara had spent the night. Except Miranda's auburn head and tall figure replaced Barbara's. Jeremy was on his knees on an island stool, laughing at something Miranda said.

"Good morning, Dad!" he said, waving me over.

"Morning, babe. Did you sleep well?" Miranda said, flipping a pancake.

I kissed my son's head. "Who brought you?"

"Mom," Jeremy replied, pointing to a paper bag on the counter. "And then we went to a bakery and got bagels and croissants."

"But Jeremy wanted pancakes, so here I am," Miranda said, putting the plate of stacked pancakes on the island. Her hair was pulled back, revealing a fresh face with no hint of being sleep deprived.

"You took a cab?"

"Yeah, I thought I should let you sleep in," she said with a smile. "Sorry about yesterday."

"Don't worry about it," I said, a big boulder pushed off my chest. So she hadn't meant what she said, after all.

"Dad, Mom is moving here, did you know that?"

My relief was short-lived. I threw Miranda a look. "What is he talking about?"

"Well, I told you yesterday, I'm moving to New York," she said.

"We need to discuss things first," I said, hoping we didn't have this conversation in front of Jeremy.

She rolled her eyes. "Ry, I just told him I'm moving to New York. Relax, I'm not a complete idiot."

Jeremy was looking between the two of us. I had to snuff down my temper. I clapped my hands once. "Alright, let's have breakfast, then. Those croissants smell heavenly."

"I want the chocolate glazed one!" Jeremy piped in.

"You and your dad can have them all, sweetie," Miranda said, pulling out mugs from the cupboard. "I'm on a diet."

Fortunately, the topic of conversation over breakfast didn't veer off into dangerous territories. So I still had the chance to discuss matters more seriously with Miranda later.

"Dad, did you see Barbara?" Jeremy asked.

"I saw her yesterday. Why?"

"Is she going to spend Christmas with us? You never said," Jeremy asked with accusing eyes.

"I didn't ask her again," I said. "But she's probably going to spend it with her sister, so you should just give it up."

Since Eleanor would be moving away soon, Barbara must want to take advantage of every minute she had with her.

"But I'll ask her again. We're going to the movies the day after tomorrow," I said. "Just don't get your hopes up."

"You invited her to spend Christmas with us?" Miranda asked, looking down at the liquid in her mug.

"I did!" Jeremy said.

Miranda smiled at him. "You like her so much."

He nodded vigorously. "Yeah. She's really cool. She has a dog and two cats."

Miranda chuckled. "Yes, you already told me that. Hopefully you'll settle for one dog."

"Maybe..." Jeremy said.

I chuckled and ruffled his hair. I rose and rolled up my sleeves. "Alright, I'm going to do the dishes. Jeremy, why don't you go to your room and get ready, then we'll pick up Lady."

At the promise of picking up his dog, Jeremy sprinted upstairs. I set out to rinse the plates and mugs while Miranda still nursed her cup of tea on the island.

"Do you remember what you said yesterday?" I asked.

"About getting back together? Sure."

I stayed quiet until I stacked the plates and mugs in the dishwasher. I leaned against the counter with both hands, my back to her. "Miranda, you can't be serious."

"Why? Why can't I be serious?" she asked, a hint of bitterness in her voice. "Look, Ryan. I know I fucked up, okay? I was in a bad place back then. I never expected to be a mother. I wasn't ready. Hell, I would've probably gotten rid of the pregnancy if it was anyone else but you."

I rubbed my face. "And so you turned to drugs?"

"I know there's no excuse. But I learned my lesson. I'm more mature now. And being here made me realize what I'm missing."

She was serious. The rock on my chest turned heavier.

"Jeremy will love it," she said. I felt her move to stand behind me. A hand on my back. "Ry, just think about this seriously. It's not like you're committed to someone."

When I didn't respond, she added, "are you?"

"Don't tell Jeremy anything," I said instead of answering her.

Barbara's smiling face flashed before my eyes again. I shut my eyes tightly, torn between my heart's desire and giving Jeremy the perfect family. 

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Ryan is so frustrating! Right?

But it's all part of his growth as a character, so be patient ;)

Don't forget to vote and comment! I appreciate it.

Much love <3 <3 <3

M.B.