Barbara

I could not decide what to get him.

Under the guise of shopping for Christmas gifts, I brought him along to the mall in order to see if he'd like anything.

The mall was busy. I had thought I was late in buying gifts, but it looked like everyone was still shopping for the holidays.

We walked past a flower shop that displayed all sorts of plants. A miniature tree caught my attention. A bonsai! How cute.

"Like Bonsais?" Ryan asked.

I glanced at him. I'd slowed down without even realizing it. "Yeah. I always thought they were beautiful, but I never got around to getting one. I'm afraid they'd die on me. I already have Eleanor watching over the pets whenever I'm gone, I don't want to add more to her plate."

"Hmm." He nodded and smiled at me. "When you decide to retire, let me know and I'll gift you one. You'll be free enough to take care of it then."

I smiled back. I wondered if he would still be in my life years from now. I hoped so. We walked ahead. Every time we walked past women, they'd give Ryan a second glance. I understood the feeling.

"Who are you shopping for?" he asked, pulling his beanie down over his ears. He was wearing a camel sweater, jeans and a white beanie. I thought he looked cute in the white beanie, but the way the sweater molded to his muscles and broad shoulders made him look anything but cute. Handsome. Strong. Rugged. Lethally attractive.

"Eleanor, John and Max," I replied.

I already picked up Jeremy's gift, the newest edition of a game he played on his gaming console. The new version was set to go out next month, but I knew the CEO of the company and he gave me a copy earlier than everyone else.

The hammock I'd promised him would be for his birthday.

Ryan glanced at me, frowning. "Max?"

"The friend who set us up, remember?" I said, standing by a display window of a designer store. "Max Sydney."

"Wait, your friend is Maximillian Sydney?"

I nodded as we got into the store. Eleanor liked collecting designer bags. I did not understand the fascination. They were just bags. But Eleanor liked them, and I could afford them. So I got her one every Christmas, along with another gift.

Ryan whistled. "I wasn't aware you were that close with Sydney."

I understood his surprise. Max Sydney was one of the richest people on the planet. He could probably buy all of my assets many times over.

Ryan chuckled. "So that's why my mother wanted me to go on that date."

"She probably thought he was setting you up with one of his pretty granddaughters," I said, checking out a small white bag. "But you got stuck with me instead."

"Thank God for that," he said, picking up a wallet.

These words that he said so offhandedly, as if they were a fact, meant a great deal to me.

The pristine white interior of the store displayed several bags, shoes and accessories. Both for men and women. I decided on a bag for Eleanor and got John jewelry for his ear piercing. As the clerk rang my purchases, Ryan joined me with a women's bag.

"Yours?" I asked him.

"Very funny," he said, putting the bag on the counter. "It's for Miranda. Since she'll be spending Christmas with us, I figured I should get her a gift."

Something twisted in my guts. I looked at the red bag. "It's pretty."

He shrugged. "I got the most expensive. That's a guarantee she'll like it."

I blinked, not expecting the statement. He gave me a small smile. "I know. That was crude, and mean, but unfortunately true."

I sighed, looking around the store for clues as to what he might like. "What do you give a man who has everything?"

"Max?" Ryan asked. "I have no idea. I guess something meaningful and unique would do."

"Hmm."

We spent the rest of the morning touring the stores, and at noon, we went to the food carts for lunch. We took our burgers to a table in the corner, away from the bustle.

"Where are you spending christmas?" Ryan asked, dipping a fry in his milkshake.

"Home," I replied, eying his soggy fry. "And that is disgusting."

He ate the fry and shrugged. "It tastes good. With Eleanor?"

"Yes," I said. "She always spends Christmas with me."

"Hmm, I was hoping you'd stop by," he said. "Jeremy would love to see you on Christmas day."

"You mean he'd love to see Pirate," I said with a smile.

"Him too. But even without Pirate, he'll be pretty happy to see you." He grinned. "And he's not the only one."

My heart skipped a beat. I took a long sip of my milkshake. "Maybe I'll drop by."

"Eleanor could come as well," he said. "She's welcome."

"Thank you," I said. "I'll see how that plays out. But don't promise him anything until I know for sure."

"Got it," he said. "So, have you decided on a day? For the movie date."

I chewed on my fries. The movies. Just thinking about it made my guts tighten. But that would be a big step forward if I could actually do it.

It would be nice, knowing the past's hold on me could no longer strip me of the ability to do whatever I wanted.

Ryan would be there. His willingness to come along and help me get over one of my fears meant more than he thought. Weeks ago, I wouldn't be caught dead telling him about my fear of the dark. Now he knew about my past and he was willing to help me push through.

I looked at him and smiled. "How about the twenty-third?"

*** ***

Eleanor was hiding something.

It had been days since she last told me she had something to say. I knew it was important, and it must be something I wouldn't like by the way she kept shifting her eyes whenever we spoke.

I gave her time and space to sort through it. However, I still worried about her. What if there was something wrong with her? What if she was in trouble?

That was why I went to see John one evening after work.

Eleanor's fiancé worked at a tattoo parlor in Brooklyn. The sky was dark when I arrived at my destination, and my crisp white pantsuit and coat made me stand out like a sore thumb.

I knew the location but I'd never been inside before. A bell rang when I entered the shop. Metal music blasted loudly from closed doors down a hallway. The walls in the reception area were painted a light green color, framed art posters and drawings covered almost every inch of them. The waiting area consisted of a brown leather couch, a few chairs and a glass coffee table topped with magazines. It was a nice place.

My heels clicked on the dark hardwood floors as I turned to the reception desk. The glass display held dozens of colorful drawings and dazzling jewelry.

"Can I help you?" the woman behind the desk asked. Her hair was a pale pink dipped in blue. Next to her, a big man with brown skin and bright green eyes was sitting on the desk. He looked over his shoulder at me.

"Can I see John, please?" I said.

"John is busy back there," the girl pointed to the hallway, then added in a dubious tone, "you here for a tatt?"

"No, I'm here on personal business," I said, glancing at my watch. "When will he be done?"

"Fifteen minutes tops," the girl replied. "You can wait for him if you want."

"Thank you." I took one of the worn leather seats across the reception desk. I pulled out my phone to take care of some work emails when the man spoke.

"John is engaged," he said loudly, obviously speaking to me.

I blinked at him. Did he think I was here to hit on John or something? "I'm well aware of that fact, thank you."

I looked down at my phone again. The guy was too curious for his own good.

"I've never seen you around," he said with a grin, making a show of scanning my appearance. He was young and good looking, albeit a little cocky from the way he winked at her. "So?"

"So what?" I asked.

"You didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask a question."

He chuckled and stood up to his full height. He was a little bit shorter than Ryan, with more muscles and tattoos covering his forearms and peeking from the neckline of his t-shirt.

And why was I comparing him to Ryan?

The man left the shelter of the reception desk and came to sit on the couch. "I'm James. I work here with John."

"Barbara," I replied, putting away my phone since I obviously wasn't going to get any work done.

"How do you know John?"

"That's none of your concern," I said.

His grin widened. "I was just wondering. You're not the type to visit tattoo parlors."

"I see," I said, glancing at my watch. I needed to get home.

The man, James, opened his mouth to say something when John's bulking figure emerged from the hallway. He paused when he saw me. A man walked past him to the reception desk, a bandage covering his neck. John veered towards me.

"Barbara, is everything alright?" he asked, glancing at James.

I stood. "I'd like a word with you, if you don't mind."

"Does Eleanor know that pretty ladies come to visit you at work?" James asked, teasing.

John scowled. "Barbara is Eleanor's sister."

James whistled and winked at Barbara. "Beauty runs in the family."

John shook his head and looked at Barbara. "We can talk in my office."

"No, outside is fine," I said.

We walked out, but not before James called out, "come back again, Barbara."

"Don't mind James," John said after the door closed. "He flirts with everything female. Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what's going on? You've never visited me here."

"What's going on with Eleanor?" I said, getting straight to the point. "She's been acting weird the past few days."

John sighed, rubbing his hand over his light hair. "She wants to tell you herself."

"I know. I just need to know if she's alright. Is everything okay between you two?"

"Yeah. We're fine. There's nothing to worry about. Just give her some time."

"Does it have anything to do with her father?"

"No," John grumbled. "We haven't heard from him."

"Alright," I said, breathing out in relief. Eleanor was fine. That was all that mattered. "Don't tell her I stopped by."

"I will if she asks."

"Fair enough," I said. "I'll see you later, John. Take care of her."

"I will."

I walked away. Relieved that Eleanor was fine. Whatever it was, I could wait until she told me herself.

I walked past a store that sold all sorts of small statues and toys, most of them looked vintage. Hmm. I stopped and peeked through the display window. The interior of the store looked cluttered with old items. A few items reminded me of Ryan's wooden puzzles. I bet he would love it here. I smiled to myself. Hmm. I guess I found the place to shop of Ryan's gift.

*** ****

Back at home, I was greeted by an enthusiastic Pirate and Pie, and a more aloof Pepper. There was a note on the fridge in Eleanor's handwriting.

I made brownies. They're in the fridge. Pie barfed on the carpet. I cleaned it but you may want to keep an eye on her. Also, Pepper knocked down the Christmas tree. Again.

-Your favourite sister, Eleanora.

I smiled and crouched down to pet Pirate and Pie. Pepper jumped on the island, looking down at us like she was a queen and we were peasants.

The Christmas tree was upright in the corner of my living room, but I could see a few ornaments missing. The Christmas tree was Pepper's mortal enemy. Whenever it was around, Pepper made it her mission to knock it down as many times as possible and to remove as many ornaments as she could.

"Alright, who's ready for dinner?" I said, standing up. Pirate's floppy ears flickered. He barked at the mention of dinner and went to sit by his bowl with the saddest eyes a hundred pound dog could ever have.

"You little con artist," I told him.

My phone rang. It was a message from Ryan.

Do you remember Mum's party?

I replied with a positive. It took a few minutes for him to reply, which was unusual.

Good. Just checking.

Did you pick Miranda from the airport?

The reply didn't come until I had poured food in all three bowls, changed my clothes and went back to the kitchen to fix my dinner.

Yes. Jeremy is over the moon.

He must be busy with Jeremy's mother just arriving, so I put my phone away.

I already had a dress decked out for the party. It was the day after tomorrow and I didn't know why I was so nervous. It wasn't like I was going to meet my boyfriend's mother for the first time or anything.

Right?

Besides, I was twenty-eight years old, for goodness sake. I'd been through more horrible things than meeting someone's mother.

But that someone was Ryan. Ryan who listened to my sob story and made me feel like the strongest woman alive. Ryan who laughed with me, who shared his home and son with me. Ryan who rammed through my guards with relentless kindness and an unapologetic eagerness to know me.

If I had any regard for my heart, then I would stop seeing him now. I was falling for him like an idiot while he was just being a good friend and a decent human being.

But I feared it was already too late for my heart.

--- ---- ---

Thoughts? You think Miranda will be trouble?

Don't forget to vote and comment and share the story with your friends! I appreciate it xoxo

Much love <3 <3 <3

M.B.