I didn't know what hurt more. Embarrassing myself in front of all those people or having Gyan stand there with nothing to say. I'd never felt so alone, despite being in a room full of people. Some of whom were my friends and a man I loved.

        "Gabriel!" Gyan shouted, but I increased my pace. "Gabriel, wait."

        He caught up to me and grabbed my arm, turning me around. "What, Gyan?" I said, with my voice coming out harsh. "Now, you have something to say?"

        "What did you want me to say?" he asked. "You blindsided me and almost outed me. In front of everyone. At my own ring ceremony. What were you thinking?"

        "I wasn't," I admitted. "I was going with my heart. My heart told me to fight for you. For us."

        "Not like that." The exasperation was clear in his voice. "This isn't just about me. You embarrassed my family. Everything I do and everything about me reflects on my family."

        I narrowed my eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you." He released a heavy breath. "Sorry you're so ashamed of our relationship."

        "That's not what I'm saying." He ran a hand through his hair. "You didn't go about it the right way."

        I crossed my arms. "What's the right way? Talking to your dad? Waiting for you to come out? You say you'll handle it, but you're not doing anything. Your wedding is in three months, and it may seem like we have time, but we don't. May 15th will come in no time." Then it hit me. "And I don't trust you to get us out of this situation. I won't apologize for taking things into my hands. I can't just stand by anymore and do nothing."

        "This is my life, Gabriel!" he yelled. "You can't just fuck with it."

        "I don't want to lose you." My hands came down as my shoulders slacked. "I don't want to be like Arya one day, talking about how I lost the love of my life."

         Confusion edged his face. "What does Arya have to do with this?"

        "We talked," I said. "She told me about Camila."

        He frowned. "Did she put you up to this?"

        "No one put me up to anything," I replied. "It was my decision."

        "She gave you the idea, though."

        "This isn't about Arya," I said.

        "Obviously, it is," he countered. "It's about Arya and Camila's failed love story, even though they were never together to begin with."

        "Because Arya did nothing." I held his gaze. "I'm not making that same mistake."

        He watched me silently for a couple seconds. "You ruined it." I tilted my head in confusion. "I was about to come out to my dad. It was just about to come out of my mouth when you interrupted. When you got everyone's attention to confess your love for me. With my and Anushka's family there. Our friends. It's my call, not yours. If you would have just left it up to me, we'll be fine right now."

        "You're right," I said. "This isn't just about you. I'm a part of this relationship, too. You don't know how hard it's been on me. I've dealt with you being in the closet for years."

        Lately, it was always about Gyan. Accommodating for him. Waiting on him. What about me and what I wanted?

        "You don't get it," he said.

        "No, I think you don't," I rebutted. "You're not in my shoes, and you don't seem to care how this is affecting me."

        "You just had to be patient a little longer, Gabriel."

        I shook my head. "I can't." I took a couple steps back as we maintained eye contact. "I can't do this anymore, Gyan." He didn't say anything. "Are you still going to come out to him?"

        "Yes," he answered.

        "When?"

        "I don't know." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "The courage is gone." He sent me a sad look. "I had it, but you interrupted me. I don't know when it's going to come back."

        I rubbed my face, suppressing the tears. This was too much. I was exhausted. I didn't even know what I was fighting for anymore. It felt pointless. I humiliated myself in front of a crowd of people, and he was still engaged to Anushka. I didn't know when he was going to come out to his dad. Nothing was guaranteed.

        We weren't guaranteed.

        I looked him in the eye. "I'm done."

        His expression softened. "Gabriel. You have a lot of emotions running through you right now."

        I shook my head. "I finally see things for what they really are." He came closer to me, but I took more steps back. "This isn't going to work. I've known for a while now, but I was in denial."

        He came forward, grabbing my arms. "Listen to me. We'll be okay."

        I removed myself from his grasp. "We're not. We're fighting for something that's already lost. I'm getting more and more invested into something that isn't mine."

        It already hurt enough as it was. I couldn't imagine the pain of watching him marry someone else. Having him leave me in the middle of the night to return to his wife. Eventually having us go our separate ways, maybe years from now, because it was inevitable. There was no happy ending for us as long as Gyan remained in the closet. As long as he married his Indian woman, had a couple kids with me on the side.

        "You're being so impulsive tonight," he said.

        "Sometimes, the most impulsive things we do are what we really want," I told him. "What we need to do, and I need this. I don't want to let you go, but I can't keep holding on to you either." My eyes watered. "It'll only hurt more in the long run."

        The minute I found out he was engaged to someone else, I never should have gotten involved. Gyan and I never should have gotten back together. I put myself in a doomed relationship, and I had to deal with the heartbreak. I couldn't imagine it hurting anymore, but I knew it would the longer I stayed.

        "Gabriel, please." The look he was sending me would have made me lose my resolve, but not this time. I had no more patience left in me. "You don't want to do this."

        "It's not always about what we want," I said. "Even if I want you, I still deserve better. Love isn't enough." A tear finally fell. "I love you so much, but that doesn't mean I should be with you."

        He groaned. "This can't be happening."

        More tears fell. "We've been done for a while now. This just makes it official." He rubbed his temple, trying to keep it together. "You can't give me what I need. Our love for each other doesn't change that. It isn't enough to get us out of this situation." I took out my phone, putting in my location for an Uber.

        "What are you doing?" he asked with a sigh.

        "I need to leave," I replied. "I can't face the people in there. I also need to be away from you for a bit."

        He paced around, obviously frustrated. "We've been through so much, Gabriel." He stopped, watching me with pleading eyes. "Are you willing to throw it all away?"

        I put my phone away, my Uber on its way. "We've been through enough."

        We had history. We had love. But it wasn't enough to keep us together. I'd spent enough years on Gyan. He couldn't let me go, so I had to do it. I had to take this into my hands. Gyan loved control, but he couldn't control this situation. It was time for me to take charge of my life. My career and education. My emotional and mental state, and even my relationships. Part of that included taking care of myself. I couldn't neglect my own well-being and sanity for my relationship with Gyan.

        No relationship was worth that.

        My Uber had arrived. "I have to go," I said. "I'll be at the flat later tonight." I walked backwards as I talked to him. "I'm not spending any more money on that motel, but I'll start looking for another place to stay."

        He stared at the ground for a while before looking up at me. "Gabriel, don't."

        "You can have your gay lovers, Gyan," I said, "but it's not going to be me."

        I turned around to walk away. "Gabriel!" he called out, but I continued heading for my Uber. "Gabriel, come back!"

        It took everything in me to not bust into tears as I sat in the car. I was already this much of a mess, and it had just happened. It was going to feel worse tomorrow. And the day after that. And many more days after that. I didn't know when it would get better.

        I grabbed my phone and dialed the first person who came to mind. "Hello?" he answered.

        "Enrique." My voice was barely audible. "Can you meet me at the soccer field in Shirley Town Center?"

        He didn't speak at first. "You haven't spoken to me in days, and now, you want me to meet you at Shirley Town Center in the middle of the night?"

        "Please," I said. "I really need to talk to you."

        Other than Kenji, he was the only friend I had, and I messed it up. I chose Gyan over him.

        "Okay," he finally said. "See you soon."

        He hung up, and I released a breath of relief. I couldn't be alone at the moment. Enrique always made me feel better.

        When I arrived at Shirley Town Center, I walked to our agreed location. It took a couple minutes of waiting before I saw a figure approaching me. Enrique stopped in front of me, his expression stoic, until he saw mine.

        "What's wrong?" Concern stretched across his face. "Gabriel, what happened?"

        "Gyan and I broke up," I told him, "again." I forced out a chuckle. "This time, for good."

        He placed his hands into his pockets. "Why are you telling me this?"

        "You were right," I confessed. "Gyan and I aren't good together. Ending things with him is so hard but being with him is even harder." I wiped at my eyes. "I humiliated myself for him, but that wasn't enough." I stared past him in thought. "The only thing I can do now is walk away." I looked at him. "All I can do is look out for myself."

        I did it in high school when I broke up with my high school boyfriend. Gyan reminded me of him, with them both being in the closet and all. I hoped it would be different with Gyan, but it wasn't.

        "Where are you going to go from here?" Enrique asked me with his body relaxing. "What are you going to do?"

        "Move out," I said. "Move on."

        We were separated for five years, but my love for him didn't diminish. I didn't know if it ever would, but I had to keep living my life, even if Gyan wouldn't be a part of it.

        That thought increased the urge to cry. "How can the right thing to do hurt so much?"

        Enrique took a step towards me. "A lot of times, it does." I avoided his gaze. "Allow yourself to feel the heartbreak. That'll help you heal faster."

        Like the situation with Steven. Allowing my emotions to run their course got me to where I was at the moment. I wasn't weak. I could get through this. I survived what happened with Steven, and I could survive losing Gyan, too. I knew I had the strength, but it didn't bring me comfort. Not yet.

        I glanced up at him. "I'm sorry. I stood you up, and I ignored you."

        He shrugged. "You made your choice."

        I stared at him for a couple seconds. "I chose wrong."

        Before he could react, I closed the gap between us, claiming his lips in a kiss. Enrique stiffened, but it didn't stop me from kissing him with everything I had. I kissed him, wanting to forget. Wanting something familiar. Some intimacy. Things were simple with Enrique, and it didn't hurt. He was good for me.

        To my surprise, Enrique pushed me away, glaring at me. "What are you doing?"

        "Isn't this what you wanted?" I tried moving closer, but he kept me at a distance. "Enrique..."

        "No," he said. "I'm not going to be your second choice. I'm not your rebound. I deserve more than that." I didn't know what to say. "We could have been great together, Gabriel, if Gyan wasn't in the picture." He took in a breath before releasing it. "But he was."

        "Not anymore."

        "You still love him," Enrique said. "I'll always be second to him. I'll never be your number one." He sent me a sad smile. "I'm not going to accept that. I'm not settling for less."

        "The connection I have with you, I don't have that with many people," I said.

        "I agree," he said. "We can talk for hours about anything. We're comfortable around each other. We have a lot in common. There are many wonderful things about our relationship." What was the problem then? "But I can have all those things with someone else." My face fell. "Someone who I'm their number one."

        There were many incredible things about me and Gyan, too. Could I have that with someone else? Would they also be second to Gyan?

        "You need to focus on yourself right now," Enrique said. "You and Gyan didn't work out, but me and you won't either as long as you stay hung up on him. I'm not going to wait around for you."

        Enrique could have been great for me. Gyan could have been great for me. So many things could have been, but that didn't change the fact that they weren't.

        "I'm sorry," I repeated. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

        "I learned a lot from you," he said. "A lot about what I wanted. What I didn't want. It wasn't a waste of time, and I don't regret the time I spent with you." I couldn't look at him anymore. "Don't regret Gyan either. He was a learning experience, too."

        "I'm guessing we can't be friends?"

        He shook his head. "I can't just be friends with you. At least, not right now. I need time to get over you, and once I do, we'll see."

        When I didn't respond, he turned around to leave. "Enrique?" He stopped to glance back at me. "Thank you." I forced out a smile. "Thank you for everything."

         The friendship was short-lived, but I was grateful for it. He taught me what I needed in a friend. Not everyone was like Steven. There were plenty of people out there like Enrique Morales.

        He nodded. "I hope everything works out. Good luck, Gabriel."

        With that, I watched his retreating form, motionless. The next couple minutes were a blur as I moved without being aware of my surroundings or what I was doing. All I knew was that I was in front of my father's flat after another grueling Uber ride. He opened the door, his face switching from a smile to that of worry.

        "Gabriel." One look at him, and that was all it took for me to bust into tears. "Mijo." My father led me into his flat as the sobs came out non-stop. "What's wrong?"

        "I just need someone right now," I choked out between sobs. "I just want to cry. I just don't want to be alone." My father got me some water after urging me to sit on the couch. "I lost two important people in my life tonight." My father got me a napkin, and I appreciated it. "The worst part of it was that I brought it on myself."

        I settled for less with Gyan, and I gave up someone amazing like Enrique. At the same time, if I could, I would make the same choice.

        That made me cry harder, and my father pulled me to him, rubbing my shoulder while I cried on him.

        "Do you want to talk?" He glanced down at me. "Anything you need."

        "No," I barely let out. "Not yet. You being here is enough."

        He nodded, and we stayed like that. My cries quieting, but they were still the only sound in the otherwise silent flat. I lost Gyan and Enrique, but I had my father. He wasn't there for twenty-four years, but he was here now. I wasn't alone, after all.

        Even with this thought, what I wanted more than anything was to be in Gyan's arms. I had to get used to it—going on without him. It was time to close this long but significant chapter of my life.

        With that, I cried some more. I cried for myself. I cried for Gyan. For our relationship. I allowed myself to feel the heartbreak, not knowing if I could ever heal. What I had been dreading finally happened.

        I lost the love of my life.

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* What do you guys think? Gabriel's emotional state? What's in store for Gyan and him? Gabriel and Enrique's closure?

* A lot of people overlook how painful heartbreak is, and I love this chapter because a lot of times, love is romanticized. But it isn't always enough. Situations and compatibility matter. Also, a lot of people settle for less because they think they can't do any better, but they can. This chapter made me love Enrique's character even more. Keep an eye out for the next update! 😊