Kenji and I walked around Shirley Town Center with our shave ice in our hands. He got strawberry, and I got kiwi. Kenji seemed to like anything with strawberry.

        When we sat down at a bench, that was when I turned to him. "Okay, so what's going on?"

        He brought his shave ice down from his lips. "Can't I just want to hang out?"

        "You can," I said, "but something seems to be up."

        He looked forward and sighed. "I feel like shit."

        "What happened?"

        He refused to look at me. "Remember that girl I talked about? The one I work with?"

        "Jessica Fuentes?" I said, knowing he had talked about her a couple times.

        Kenji nodded. "I like her."

        I almost choked on my shave ice, and he finally looked at me. "You like girls?"

        "I was dating girls before I was dating Darian."

        I thought Kenji was straight up gay. I guessed you really couldn't make assumptions. "You legitimately like girls? Not like a cover up?"

        "It's not a cover up," Kenji said. "I can date girls, guys, transgender, non-binary, whatever. People are people, regardless of gender and race."

        That was cool. "So, you're pansexual?"

        Kenji winced in thought. "Technically, but I don't really label myself."

        "I respect that," I said. "But you do identify with the LGBTQ community, right?"

        There was nothing wrong with ignoring labels, but what I couldn't stand was people who were obviously queer refusing to identify with the community.

        "I do," Kenji said to my relief. "I can be with any gender, but I tend to like girls more than other genders."

        "Including men?"

        "Including men," he answered.

        "Wow." My mind was blown. "So, you like a girl."

        Kenji slowly nodded. "I don't want to, but I can't help it. Jessica is amazing. She's funny, kind, and driven. And she's hot."

        "You guys work together," I said. "You spend a lot of time together, so it makes sense. Plus, you prefer girls, and I'm assuming you haven't been with a girl in a while."

        Kenji sent me look. "You know that I don't have to be with a guy and a girl at the same time to be satisfied, right? I just have to be with a person I love. That person can be of any gender."

        "I learn something new every day," I said. "I've never been around a lot of people from the bisexual spectrum." He smiled. "Okay, back to Jessica. What are you going to do about her?"

        "Staying away from her isn't an option because we work together," he said. "At the same time, I don't know if I can turn these feelings off. I love Darian. I really do, but lately, he doesn't make me feel the way he used to. Something is missing. Something that I get from Jessica."

        "Have you thought of the fact that you and Darian have been together for five years?" I pointed out. "You and Jessica have known each other for less than a year. She's new and exciting. She brings back those honeymoon phase feelings. You and Darian are past that, but that doesn't mean you can't make things exciting again. You just have to try. It doesn't come naturally like it does with Jessica."

        "I know," he agreed. "I just want these feelings to go away, so I can focus on my relationship with Darian."

        "Are you going to tell him?"

        Kenji's head snapped in my direction. "Of course not. Darian will take it out of proportion. That's the reason I didn't tell my friends."

        I cocked my head to the side. "What do you mean?'

        "Darian and I have mutual friends, who we've known since forever," he said. "We have our own little group. It's me and Darian. My twin sister Honoka."

        "You have a twin sister?"

        He nodded. Today, I was learning a lot about Kenji.

        "Anyway," he continued. "There's also Clay, Alissa and Arya."

        "Gyan's cousin?"

        He nodded again. I didn't know Arya was friends with Kenji and Darian.

        "We're all really close," Kenji said. "Usually, I can talk to all of them, or the very least, one of them about anything. But I can't with this."

        "Why not?"

        "They're friends with me, but they're also friends with Darian. I can't risk someone slipping and having Darian find out."

        "So, that's why you confide in me."

        "You're not friends with Darian," he said. Then his eyes went round. "But Gyan is." He turned his body to face me. "Gabriel, you can't tell Gyan about this."

        "Trust me, I won't," I reassured him.

        Gyan and I weren't even speaking. Even if we were, I wouldn't tell on Kenji. It wasn't my secret.

        "Sorry for dumping all of this on you, but I have to tell someone," he said. "It's been eating at me, especially since I'm betraying Darian."

        "It's not like you're sleeping with her."

        "But I like her," he said. "That's still betrayal. If it was a harmless crush, I wouldn't think too much of it, but I like her. I'm not going to leave Darian, but this situation with Jessica is complicated."

        "It'll work itself out," I told him. "You and Darian will get past this."

        "I hope," he said with his gaze returning forward. When he released a heavy breath, that was when he focused on me. "What about you? What's been up?"

        "Other than me and Gyan's relationship going nowhere, it's been good," I said. "I got the job at Italia Beauty." Kenji grinned. "I've been working there for about a week now. One of my colleagues doesn't seem to like me, but it's nothing I can't handle."

        There was this bloke at the gallery called Joseph who'd been working at Italia Beauty longer than I had, but we had the same position. I could see why he would be upset, but it wasn't my fault my boss, Enrique, gave me the position.

        "That's great, man. And don't worry about them. They're jealous." He clasped a hand on my shoulder. "Once you've saved up enough money, are you going to move out?"

        That was a good question. "A part of me wants to stay because of Gyan, but the other part wants to leave because of Gyan."

        I didn't know what to expect with him. One second, he wanted me, and the next, he didn't. I was getting tired of it. None of the blokes in Australia were this indecisive.

        "I guess that's one thing I like about me and Darian's relationship right now," he said. "We're past the drama. Things were exciting back then, but it was also mentally taxing. I can't tell you how much shit we went through."

        "I don't want that," I said. "I'm a simplistic bloke. I want traditional courtship. Meeting, going on dates, becoming exclusive and staying together."

        "I don't know if you're going to get that, Gabriel."

        "It feels like me and Gyan are in a maze," I said. "We don't know where we're going, and we're on different paths. We may make it to the end together, or we may stay stuck in the maze. I don't know which one."

        "You guys will get through it," Kenji said with a smile. "If me and Darian did, you guys will, too."

        "You'll figure this out, too," I told him. "Jessica and your feelings for her won't get between you and Darian. Your bond is too strong."

        "I know," he said, but his voice wasn't as convincing.

        Kenji and I continued talking, finishing our shave ice. When I got home, the flat was silent, meaning Gyan was out. I was both relieved and disappointed. I hated how my feelings always contradicted each other when it came to him.

        Before I could sit down, my phone rang. My brows knitted together at the unknown number. "Hello?" I answered while moving to sit on the couch. There was silence for a while, but I could hear the faint breathing. "Hello?"

        "Gabriel," a male voice said. "Is this Gabriel Acosta?"

        I sat up straight on the couch. "Yes," I said. "Who wants to know?"

        "It's me." I didn't miss the smile in his voice. "It's your father."

        Air stuck in my throat as my eyes expanded. It couldn't be. I barely remembered my father. He left when I was three and when Angelica was one. He never visited or called. It was as if I never had a father. This couldn't be him.

        "Gabriel?"

        It took me some time to find my voice. "How? You left Shirley Heights. You left the state. You left our lives."

        I didn't know how I felt about this man. Like Gyan, he brought mixed feelings out of me. I couldn't say I hated him, but I didn't know if I loved him either.

        "Can we meet up today?" he asked. "Shirley Shakes?"

        "Why should I?"

        I owed this man nothing.

        He sighed. "So, we can talk. I've missed a lot."

        That was an understatement. I couldn't erase the frown on my face, but I knew I had to do this. I wanted him to look me in the face and remember the son he left behind.

        "In thirty minutes," I said. "I'll meet you there."

        "Okay," he replied. "See you soon."

        I was the first to hang up. This was surreal. How could someone that had never been a part of my life suddenly show up? Why was he interested in meeting me now? Why not years ago?

        Despite my apprehension, thirty minutes later, I stood in Shirley Shakes, looking around. I didn't think this through. I didn't know what my father looked like. I was young, and I didn't remember, and Ma got rid of all the photos of him.

        "Gabriel!" My eyes landed on a Latino man with a ball cap. He was light-skinned with dark curly hair, like me. "Over here."

        I took cautious steps towards him, taking in his appearance. He was smiling with dimples poking through his cheeks. Angelica had dimples.

        When I sat down, I continued to stare at him. This was him. He wasn't just a man my mother would rant about. A man I fantasized about meeting or punching. A man who was an idea with no connection to reality. He was here.

        "Cómo te va, mijo?" he asked with his elbows on the table.

No. He had no right to refer to me as mijo. He hadn't earned that right.

        "Estoy bien," I replied.

        He nodded. "That's good."

        We were silent.

        I stared past him at nothing in particular. I wasn't going to speak. I didn't even have to be here. So, we sat in silence.

        "Let's get food." He stood up.

        "No," I said. "Let's talk." He sat back down. "Why are you here? Why are you talking to me?"

        He rubbed his mouth in thought. "I know I've been gone for a while." I scoffed. "But I'm back in Shirley Heights."

        "Why now?"

        "I'm not afraid anymore," he answered. "I'm getting my life together. I've done a lot of reflecting, and I'm trying to right my wrongs." He sent me a sad smile. "The worst thing I ever did was abandoning you and your sister. Me leaving your mother didn't mean I should have left you two."

        That was another thing. My father was awful to mother. He was verbally abusive and a drunk from what Ma said. I would always trust my mother's word over his.

        "I know it's late, but I'll love to have a relationship with you," he said. "I don't deserve it, but I would like it."

        I wanted to hate him. Hating him would have made it easier. What I had to do next would be easy. I wouldn't feel guilty, and I would walk away like he did. I wanted to hate my father, but all I could think about were those nights that I made up what my father was like. Fantasized about how our life would have been if he had stayed.

        Maybe Ma wouldn't have struggled so much. Maybe we wouldn't have lived paycheck to paycheck. I knew that if I wouldn't have gotten that academic scholarship, I wouldn't have been able to afford college. Maybe I wouldn't have resented all the other boys who had their fathers. Gyan's father was a terrible man, but he was always there for Gyan. He provided for him financially and emotionally. He may have been a difficult man, but there was no doubt that he loved his son. So many things could have been different if my father stayed.

        "Okay," I said, despite my mind screaming at me. "How do you plan on doing that?"

        My father grinned. "Let's just spend time together. Meet up every week or every other week. Talk. Anything. I just want to know you."

        It felt so good to hear those words, but a part of me felt weak. I should have been angrier. I shouldn't have been giving in.

        "I'll like that," I said with my frown loosening up. "How did you contact me? How did you know what I look like?"

        "I have my ways," he said with a smirk. "This is what happens when you know a lot of people who also know more people. And social media, too." I was impressed. "Wanna get food now?" I sent him a slow nod. "Let's go."

        My father and I made it to the front, and we ordered our meal. We had the same burger, but he had Fanta instead of water. When we were seated, my father started talking. I told him about Harley Falls University, me going to Australia and me working at Italia Beauty now. He told me that he worked as a mechanic. He didn't have any other children after me and Angelica. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him.

        A part of me was pissed at him, but I was even more pissed at myself. I was pissed that I was enjoying talking to him. I was pissed that I wanted to meet up and talk to him some more. I was pissed that I wasn't angry at him enough. We continued talking until my phone rang. I glanced down at the caller ID.

        Gyan.

        I declined the call, not having time for him. My father perked a brow. "Angry at someone?"

        "You can say that." I continued eating my burger.

        He smirked. "Is it a girl?"

        I froze. "Why would you think that?"

        He shrugged. "Your anger seems more like disappointment and heart-break."

        How did he know that based on that moment? "It's a guy, actually."

        His eyes widened before returning to their original size. "Oh..." I didn't break eye contact with him. "That's good, too." He smiled. "Does your mom know?"

        I finished chewing. "She's known since high school."

        Ma was so supportive. More reasons why I loved that woman.

        "I can't wait to learn more about you," he said with pride in his eyes. "I wish I did this sooner."

        I wished he did, too. There was so much I wanted to tell him. But I couldn't speak up. All I could do was enjoy a moment I wanted more of.

        When we finished eating, I stood up to leave, but my father grabbed my arm. "Keep this between us." My brows furrowed together. "I don't want your sister to know yet."

        "She'll like to see you, too."

        "I know," he said. "And she will, but it'll take time."

        I sat down. "Why me and not her?"

        "I'll reach out to Angelica," he said. "Just not yet. Right now, I want to take it one at a time. I'll speak to your sister later on. And don't tell your mother. It'll make things more complicated."

        She hated him, and she had every right to.

        "Okay," I said. "Don't wait too long."

        "I won't," he said while I stood up. "I'll see you later, Gabriel."

        I just looked at him before walking out. The whole way back to the flat, I was lost in my thoughts. I couldn't believe that my father was back. Not only that, but he wanted to be in my life. He chose me first. I didn't trust him, but I was willing to. I had to give him a chance, so I wouldn't regret it later on.

        When I got to the flat, Gyan was seated on the couch with his head in his hands. I wanted to ignore him and go to my room. I wanted to show that I didn't give a damn about him and what he did. I wanted this, but I was doing a lot of things I shouldn't have.

        "You okay?" I moved closer, and he sat up straight.

        "I'm fine." I continued to watch him. "What?"

        "You don't look fine."

        His eyes always gave it away.

        "I called you," he said.

        I frowned. "I'm not going to drop everything to talk to you, Gyan."

        "You're not talking to me at all," he said. "I try talking, but you ignore me. I cook food, and you won't eat with me." His expression softened. "I tell you to sleep in my room with me, and you refuse."

        "You're not going to have your cake and eat it, too, Gyan," I reminded him. "You either get all of me or none of me."

        He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my abdomen. I should have pushed him away, but I wrapped my arms around him instead, and we stayed like that, him sitting and me standing.

        "My dad called," he said while I played with his hair. "I'm going to start working at the company Monday." He held me tighter. "He's making Alisha work at the gas station now. She hates it as much as I hate the idea of working at Appeto."

        "Then don't," I told him. "Tell your father you don't want this."

        "I can't," he said as his hand moved under my shirt, feeling my skin. "What else am I going to do?"

        "You'll find something," I said. "You can't do a job you hate for the rest of your life."

        "You don't get it," he said. "I have to do these things." He lifted his head up to look at me, and I cradled his cheeks. "I have to marry a woman. I have to have kids who have the Gupta name. I have to work at and one day own Appeto. It's not up for discussion." He returned his head to my middle, and I continued to run my fingers through his hair. "Now, Alisha has to work at that gas station, as if she doesn't have enough on her plate. My sister is in pain, and no one sees it."

        "What happened to Alisha?" I asked.

        "She tried to kill herself a couple months ago."

        My eyes nearly popped out. "What? Why did this happen?"

        I always knew something was up with Alisha, but I didn't realize it was this bad.

        "She's miserable," he said. "Everyone says she doesn't have a reason to be miserable. They may be right, but that doesn't change the fact that she is miserable."

        "I'm so sorry."

        "But my parents don't care," he said. "Who gives a fuck what we want? Who gives a fuck if we're happy or not?"

        On the outside, Gyan's life seemed perfect. His family had money. He was the heir to a successful company. He was getting a beautiful wife. He was handsome and intelligent. He should have been happy.

        But that didn't mean he was.

        "I can't escape this." He let go of me for me to sit next to him. "This has to be my life." We turned our bodies to face each other. "Anything else isn't an option."

        "So, you're going to marry Anushka." It was harder to swallow. "Nothing can change that."

        He cupped my cheek with his eyes on me. "I'm sorry. For being an ass and making this difficult."

        "So, you're going to marry Anushka," I repeated.

        He let go of me and looked forward. "It doesn't matter what I want." I released a shaky breath, not able to respond. I stood up to leave, but he grabbed my hand. "Don't go." His eyes softened. "Please."

        I sat back down, not being able to hide my frown. Looking at him and being around him was all I wanted at that moment. I didn't want him marrying Anushka. I didn't want him working at Appeto. I wanted him to be happy with his family. I wanted so much for him, and a part of me knew anything could change, but looking into Gyan's eyes said it all.

        He'd given up hope.

        His fingers found mine, and our hands locked together. "I'm sorry, Gabriel. I wish thinks could be better. I wish I could give you everything you deserve, but I don't think I can." He brought his face closer to mine. "But I'm still selfish." His breath brushed against my lips. "I want you here." I grabbed onto his hair. "With me."

        We closed the distance between our lips, and I instantly allowed myself to be immersed into this kiss. I focused on the palm of his hands against my skin. The texture and warmth of his lips. How my hand brushed through his hair. I focused on his soft gasp every time we pulled up for air, and how he groaned when our lips parted for our tongues to meet. His hands were beneath my shirt again, and he rubbed along my back. His hands were firm, and his lips were gentle. When he tugged on my shirt, I pulled back.

        His eyes opened slowly. "What's wrong?"

        We still held onto each other. "I'm not hooking up with you."

        His expression didn't change. "Okay."

        He was kissing me again, at the same intensity. Before I could get lost in his lips, I pushed him back. He frowned. "You're really okay with that?" I asked.

        "I want to kiss you," he said as he moved down to my neck. "I just want to kiss you." His kisses traveled up my jaw and stopped short of my lips. "That's all I want."

        We held eye contact, and I said, "I thought your kisses aren't sentimental."

        He didn't speak. He only focused on me. When he opened his mouth, he closed it again before claiming my lips. He laid me back onto the couch with him on top of me. Not once did our lips part for longer than a few seconds. We discarded of our shirts, running our hands over each other's body as our lips continued to move together.

        I knew this was stupid of me. I couldn't have him—not fully. I shouldn't have been doing this, kissing him and holding onto him for dear life. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't resist him.

        All I could do was hold onto the small part of him I could have.

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* What do you guys think? About Gyan's situation? Gabriel and Gyan? Kenji and Darian?