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I planned to say a lot of things to you,
but in the end all i could muster up was I miss you..

~

Preeta's Pov:

The definition of love in my life has become pain.The more i love the pain grows crushing me again and again.The love I had before was something else and the way my love got stronger now, which is making my heart more weak.

Attachment! once we get attached to someone it becomes so difficult to live without them.Life feels nothing without the person we long for.Our heart craves and mind always gets busy while thinking about them.

The dreams we dream with them and those dreams evoke to get into life when a little hope blooms.And that is what happened with me.

But never in my time I had imagined that karan would like someone other than me.I was so stupid and immature not to think like that.Since he opened up and shared his feelings I am all Messed up.

Maybe it is true, it was my mistake not to let him know my feelings then? But what was the guarantee that he too would have loved me back?

I don't have any answer for that!maybe even he doesn't have any.But it aches whenever he says he loves me.Does he love me like I do?

I don't know! But his love filled gestures is what making me to believe him.But still I don't want to believe because the thought of him loving me will never be hundred percent sure in my mind.

He surely tries to show me and it always does something to my poor heart! Which always had been longing for him and his love.But when it is happening I am not ready to accept it.

It was all because of his past and I agree.I was so immersed in trying to forget those days that I ignored him last few days.He tried to approach, he tried to talk, he tried to get close, he did many things, which I am sitting in the corner of my room and remembering.

To be honest my heart and mind is screaming and scolding for what I did.Because only they can feel how much I am missing him now.

Tears are not agreeing to stop, just leaking through my eyes without a pause remembering my karan.Its been 2 hours since he left and I am here sitting on the floor of my room while sobbing.

Why didn't he stayed?

Why did he leave me alone like he did once.

Even that day, I had cried so much when he left me here without saying anything and got disappeared for more than two days.

I know there is lots of difference in that day and today.But still the fact remains same that he left me.

I was still mad at him and he just left without even talking to me properly.I was not ready for this, staying here without him.This is so painful.

He got to know that but still he didn't stayed.The reason may be anything.But I didn't wanted him to leave me at this moment.

"Mei..mein tumse kabhi baat nahi karungi"I breathed out feeling ruptured and sobbed hard.

My heart is pounding in extreme pain.How I am going to spend these 4 days.

While crying!

My concise mocked and soon a cry left my mouth while imagining that.What I had done to bear this all.God!

"I hate you!"I muttered while wiping my tears and sat while staring at the wall numbly.

~

My eye lids flickered hearing the ringtone.I got frightened for a second seeing myself sleeping on the floor.

And soon my eyes got narrow remembering about last night.He is not here.My heart sank as I bit my lower lip trying to control the bloody tears of mine.Why the hell they always ready to leak out through my eyes, I don't want to cry more.It pains alot.

I don't want to cry!

I cried in my mind warning those tears and gulped back as again the ringtone caught my attention.

As I stood up my shoulder and neck ached and a painful moan escaped my lips as I arched my neck back.Why did i ended up sleeping on the floor? God!

Talking a few steps ahead I reached my bed and sat to pick my phone.

As soon as my eyes landed on his name flashing on the screen it made me angry for no reason.Picking up the phone I quickly declined it as my heart started beating vividly.

I don't want to talk to him.

But soon there were many notifications and most of them were of his.I unlocked the phone and was about to read his messages that my screen flashed with his call again.

My nose flared in anger and again I declined it.then saw his messages,

Reached!
10:20pm

Maybe you are sleeping, good night..will talk to you in the morning!
10:30pm

And I am sorry babydoll, please don't cry..It makes me sad too.
10:31pm

My anger rose reading his message because of the tears which gathered in my eyes again.

Good morning!
7:00Am

Pick up the call preeta! Please I want to talk to you! I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about you.. I am sorry!
please talk to me once.
7:05Am

I gulped seeing the timing and he sent it just a minute ago. He was online, maybe waiting for my reply. But I quickly pressed back and turned off my data not having enough patience to talk to him.

How can he think that I will talk to him casually like nothing happened?  When my heart was buring feeling all alone and body is aching feeling weak.

I Don't want to talk to him.Infact I am in no mood to talk to anyone right now.He should understand this when he was the one to make me cry and hurt now.

He saw me crying for him, I was stopping him making a move.But he didn't notice and just left giving me a good bye kiss.

I don't want our good bye kisses.It hurts like hell.And what made me more angry on him was he kissed me twice and that too when I was crying.

Why?

But not to forget, my heart and body calmed both the times and it made me feel better not better, best and special.

He is my price charming, my husband, my love, my everything now.How can I not feel everything when he touches me.It always makes me shiver, nervous, shy and what not? I don't have enough words to express that feeling whenever he gets close to me.

He surely does some magic on me with his mere touch that I lose my mind and surrender to him easily.

I was drowned in remembering the kiss, that the ringtone again made me come back to senses and I shook my head realising what I was thinking and dreaming!

He left without listening to you preeta!

I warned myself causing to erupt that anger back in me and declined the call. again.This time I made it silent and laid on my back throwing the phone aside.

The soft mattress soothed my body calming my nerves and my eyes got closed as I forced myself to sleep a little more.

I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about you.. I am sorry!
please talk to me once.

The reminder of his message was enough for me to open my eyes again and I clutched the sheets controlling my emotions and anger at the same time.

I sat on the bed and shut my eyes not knowing what to do.but only one thing I knew was, I don't want to talk to him.

I won't

I nodded and stood up to get ready for the hospital.There is no option left for me either.

~

The night arrived quickly and I sighed feeling a little scared seeing the sky getting darker.I mean I stayed here once without him and I guess It won't be that difficult this time too.

I chuckled painfully and leaned my head on the couch closing my eyes gulping the tears back because I don't want to cry.I don't want to when there is no one to console and wipe my tears.

I have to stay strong and all I can do is to wait for him to come back soon.

Yes! This is me, the morning I was angry at him and now I cannot even describe what I am feeling.

"Kyu mujhe chod ke gaye"I whispered to no one and twitched my lips downwards feeling like crying.

But I don't want to cry! I don't want to..

Maybe my mind didn't hear me and soon tears gathered in my eyes.I tried not to cry not to let them flow but they were too stubborn and started flowing reaching my ear because of my position.

"Why karan? Kyu Gaye tum? Agar Jate toh pehle kyu nahi bataya? Mein atleast itne din tumhare bina rehne Keliye prepare toh hoti.This is not done! Tum nahi jante ki kitna dard ho raha hai"I whispered feeling broken and narrowed my eyes staring the zoomer of the living room.

A lump formed in my throat as I kept wailing.The pain just kept increasing with my every emotions.

"I..I miss you"I confessed and broke down in tears.

"I miss you so much..Please come back"I whispered-yelled feeling difficult while saying. Because this pain doesn't seem like curtailing.

"Tum bohot bure ho Karan, I hate you! Tumse kabhi baat nahi karungi.. tumhe bohot sataungi mein" I said and stood up from there to enter his room.

Now staying here can only make me feel a little better. Opening his wardrobe I picked his white shirt and clutched it near to me with a trembling lips.

His cologne reminded me of his presence and it only caused more pain to no extent.Why is he not here?

I held his shirt tightly clinging it to my chest and hugged it.I was missing him, his face, his words, his presence, his closeness, everything is making me ruptured.

Aching my chest like anything.I don't want this pain anymore.I don't want this loneliness, I want him, I want my karan, my husband.I want to be with him right now.

Feeling annoyed I hit the mattress and fell on the bed.He is not here to see me crying for him.He is not here to wipe my tears, he is not here to console my heart ache, he is not here to say those soothing words.He is not here!

"I want you karan! I am sorry for behaving like that these days.For hurting you, for ignoring you, for everything I did knowingly or unknowingly.please come to me soon.Tumhare bina abb yaha rehne nahi hai.preeta itni strong nahi hai Karan.Please jaldi aa jao"I cried clutching his shirt staring at it twitching my lips.

"Mujhe tumse baat nahi karni hai abhi.I won't talk to you.Mein gussa hu tumse.. bohot zyada.Jab tum yaha aaoge tab bataungi tumhe.Kaise Gaye tum mujhe rote hue chod ke..I hate you" I sobbed digging my face in his shirt making it wet with my tears.

I didn't recieved his calls in the morning and he didn't called me again after that.Not even a message.It was the last.Let him do his work.

I will sleep every night and day missing him, crying for him.But he is busy in his work.May be he is so busy in his work that he forgot that his wife is missing him like anything.

I hate him!.

I continued my war of thoughts sometimes feeling angry on him and again the next moment crying while remembering him.

He made me a complete mess.

My fists held his shirt firmly at least wishing for a beautiful dream where I can see him and feel him close like I used to get before.

Please meet me!

Saying I rubbed my face in his shirt, digging my face deeper and I didn't even get to know when sleep consumed me.but the last few words which I muttered before slipping into sleep were,

"I love you and I miss you".

~

My legs were hurting, my stomach was aching as if a fire was burning inside my body.Resting my head against the pillow I just kept moaning in pain praying for the pain to decrease.

I was feeling like it was better to die rather than feeling this pain or to remove the aching part of my Belly.

I feel the same every month on the first day of periods.I just want to die and come back the next day.I know this won't happen and I have to go through this pain anyhow.The reality of girls like me.

God!

I haven't ate anything properly in the morning and now I don't feel like eating anything.This stomach hurts even more.

I dig my head in a pillow clutching my belly and tears brimmed in my eyes remembering the time when karan was there with me in this situation.

When will he come?

It's been three days and he is not here yet.He had said that he will be coming after 3 days but still he didn't. Tomorrow will be the fourth day.

He called me at night but I didn't receive his calls nor called him back.Last night I had already slept and saw his call in the morning.I don't know what is stopping me from talking to him.

His messages made my day.he sent many messages.I just read them with a faint expressions.This is the tough phase and I am literally losing my patience day by day.

It's not like I don't want to talk to him, but I will miss him more.I don't want to cry more.moreover this pain is already too much for me to bear today and remembering about him will make my situation worse.

Anyhow, whether I talk to him or not.Crying for more than an hour for the day is permanent.I don't know how that happens.Whenever I enter his room or sees any of his things or his picture in home it's enough for my heart to clench in pain and tears to errupt remembering him and feeling angry on him at the same time.

I don't know what is happening to me.But I am not at all fine.Not even a bit.The way I was behaving with him, the way our past one week went Everything is rotating in my head.

Sometimes it feels like I overreacted but the next moment feels like I did right.I don't know what to do and what not to do.But I won't behave like that again.I don't want him to go like this again.

It hurts.

"Mummyy!!"I cried feeling the pain.The only word slips from my tongue in my tough situation and I can say its everyone's.This is so unbearable.Why mom is not here.I am missing her right now.

I had talked with her in the morning.Even though we talk virtually but nothing feels better than their presence.It's been many days and I will surely plan to go there next month and for sure leaving karan here.

Twitching my lips sadly I turned and slept on my stomach clutching my waist.

.

.

.

I squirmed and turned to a side hearing my phone ringing.

Why don't people leave me to sleep peacefully!

Annoyingly I forwarded my hand and took my phone to decline the call. picking it I dragged it beside me in a sleepy mood.

Because I want to sleep some more time.Quickly pressing the screen I turned the phone and shut my eyes.

But soon a voice caught my attention and my heart jumped in surprise and shock.Because I didn't expect this call at this time of the day.He always called me at night after he gets free from his work may be.

But how the hell he is speaking, I had declined the call.May be by mistake I pressed the green button in sleep.

Yeah..For sure!

"Preeta"his loud voice echoed in my ears.May be the volume was high and also because mobile was right beside my face.

I gulped hearing his voice after more than two days.It felt like months.

"Am I audible? Preeta"his voice broke my reverie and I quickly turned to a side facing my phone.

I turned it and made it to speaker.I didn't felt like declining it after hearing his voice.I missed this voice.

I miss him.

"Ha.."I breathed out after judging with myself thinking what to say.

I can feel that he took a deep sigh before speaking the next words.

"What? Ha bol rahi ho? Do you know tumne kitne dino baad mera call uthaya hai? You don't even have any idea how stressed I am Preeta.What happened to you?Na mera phone uthya na messages ka reply Diya? I am worried here" he ended leaving a deep breath and I got to know how annoyed and tensed he was.

I bit my lower lip and narrowed my eyes thinking what to reply.He was literally scolding me, but I took my lower lip out and twitched my lips to the corner as if his words didn't affect me.

"Preeta! Kuch bolo yaar please?"he whinnied and I pouted my lips in anger.

"When are you coming back?"I asked deflecting his every questions. Because I want the answer to this question.

"Maybe the day after tomorrow!"he answered quickly and I immediately sat on the bed furrowing my eyebrows in shock.

He was supposed to come tomorrow.He had said that he will be coming tomorrow.3-4 days then how can he extend it.

"I am not yet done with work here, the final agreement is yet to be done and It will take another two days"he completed.

To be honest my senses didn't work for Seconds after listening to him.I became speechless.He is not coming tomorrow and that too maybe?

What does that mean?

I guess!He doesn't have any plan to come back.

Fine!

That's fine!

That's totally fine! However I have lived these three days and it won't be that difficult to spend some more days till he arrives.

Without proper food, without having a mental peace, some tears and sleepless nights.I will manage! I will..

"Preeta!" he called not hearing my reply.My nose flared furiously and I was about to cut the call that my fingers fisted before I could do that hearing his further words.

"I miss you!"he muttered lowly and I clenched my fist feeling weak.

Please!

I shut my eyes in dilemma.I can't express the feeling of my heart right now.This so indigestible.I don't want to talk to him.

Does he know that how much I am missing him?

He is the one to go and now missing me? Who told him to go?

"How are you?Aaj jaldi kyu aayi ho ghar? Is everything fine?"and his next question literally startled me.

How does he know that I came early today?

"How do you know that?"I questioned him back curiously.

"I have my ways and tell me! Is everything fine? Are you fine?"he asked again and I scrunched my nose annoyingly.

No I am not fine! My heart feels lonely, my tears won't stop, I feel low and right now this stomach of mine is throbbing in pain.

I wanted to express but all I ended up saying was,

"Yeah! I am so happy!"I chuckled painfully and added,

"Tum nahi ho toh Khush hi hongi na? You carry on with your work and maybe busy honge.Bye"I simply ended the call and threw it away.

Wiping the tear that rolled down my eyes I quickly got up from the bed and saw the time.

It was 7 in the Evening. Why did he call me now.I won't get sleep at night.It would have been better if I woke up directly in the morning.

I don't want to stay awake and cry all night.God please save my tears these days.I don't want to become more weak emotionally.

I was about to enter the washroom that again my phone started ringing.I smiled weakly and entered inside shutting the door behind.

~

Karan's pov:

"Tum nahi ho toh Khush hi hongi na? You carry on with your work and maybe busy honge.Bye" As soon as she spoke those words I was taken a back and furrowed my eyebrows.

Before I could say further the call ended and I know she did it purposely.But Why?

Here I am missing her and wanted to talk and hear her voice.But she is not ready to listen.

But some strong emotion was there in her voice and I knew what was that! Anger.

She always mocks and I got to know the meaning of her words.And also the way she was stopping me from going was a heartbreak.

But I was helpless.This was more important at this time.or else I would have dropped coming here.

Even it is becoming difficult for me to stay away from her.I know she is hurt and my absence maybe affecting her badly because I felt that in her tone.

The only question she asked was when I will be coming?

This really hit me hard.As I had said, I was about to leave tomorrow but because of some more work I need to stay for the next day too and hopefully I will reach there by day after tomorrow.

And I cannot even delay an hour after hearing my wife's sweet mocking words.She must be so angry at me.But what angers me in return is she never open ups.

She could have told me but no she sometimes says in a mocking way or sometimes she doesn't even open her mouth.I should understand everything in her silence which is difficult sometimes.

You are so difficult babydoll!

I sighed and kept the phone aside as she didn't pick when I called her again.I don't know whether she is fine or not.weather she is eating properly ? Sleeping?

She neither received my calls nor replied to any messages.I was so tensed and checked the cctv camera which was outside of our home. And that is when I got to know she came early today.So quickly called her worriedly.

But now I felt a little relieved after hearing her voice.

I know how she behaves when she gets angry or sad.Exactly like a child.Skipping her food and all.

God..I need to go soon! No sooner! I don't want this distance between us to grow more than before.

I shut my eyes leaning my head back to the chair and sighed taking a deep breath.

Preeta!

~

Preeta's pov:

Today, the day was somewhat better than previous one's.Reason was of course my husband.

Like a good news, a smile crept on my lips when I saw his messages in the early morning.Why not?

He said that he will be coming today.Like always I didn't reply but was happy.I haven't talked with him on call since that day.I was so angry at him for delaying but now felt relieved that he made it quick and was arriving today like he had said.

And another reason was also because of him.I met Ritik After many days and he didn't stop his rail of preaching on that day.

I got to know that even he was there with karan and searched for me that day.I knew but didn't knew properly about that day.But today he said everything and even scolded me for taking such step.

He said how karan was restless and searched for me all day and night.The way he was saying Abhi to find me and he apologized for splitting the truth that I love karan.

He said it was necessary at that time to tell him.He said karan was so lost and even cried at last when Ritik scolded him because of Roshni.

I was stunned.I got numb hearing karan had tears because of me.Did I mean that much to him?

I really felt guilty and sad after knowing the hardships he felt and suffered while searching for me.I never thought about that and just left the home whenever I felt like.This seems wrong now.

Even after finding me, all he did was to apologise.He never showed his anger or he was annoyed at me.He just tried to show his concern and may be love.

Does he really love me then?

The thought itself makes my stomach scrunch in a weird happy feeling.I don't know how to express but it's all a different and new feeling which I never experienced before.

Because the way Ritik said about karan did something to me.I felt like apologising to him for taking such an immature step but sometimes it feels right.

So I don't want to think about that for now.Let him come home and we will see what needs to be done with him.

But I am still angry at him and it won't curtail till he says he won't leave me again like he did otherwise I won't talk to him.

I scrunched my nose and saw the timing.It is 6 in the evening and I don't know when he will be coming.He didn't mentioned the timing but only said that he will be coming today.

Badly want to see him, his handsome face, want to hear his voice.Just can't wait to see him soon.

I don't know what I am going to say after seeing him.what expressions do I carry? because I am also a little nervous to face him.

I ignored him the last week and when he was going I was clinging to him like a baby and was not leaving him to go.I acted a little weird but I was real.

I couldn't digest that he was leaving.It was like another heartbreaking moment for me and these days were surely a bad ones without him.

But whatever he may feel about me.I am going to be real in front of him from now onwards.Just can't wait to meet him.

These five days were like years just went crying and missing him.I never want to feel this again and I will make sure of that.If he tries to do that again no one will stop me from saying this matter to rakhi ma.

She will handle him.I twitched my lips to a corner and lay on the sofa waiting for him to come super soon.I have already prepared his favourite dishes for dinner today.If he comes late I won't leave him.

What's making him so late?

Should I call him and ask? Yeah I should..maybe!

I gulped and took my phone.What If he was in flight? No he must be reaching soon!

Whatever!

I can call and ask once.I nodded and was about to call him that an incoming call flashed on my screen.

It was Abhi.

Maybe he too wants to say that karan is coming.He must be on the way?

I smiled excitedly and received the call.

Before I could say anything, his words made ground slip beneath my feet.I got numb as if something hit my head badly and I would loose my senses in a seconds.

"Preeta karan ka car accident hua hai".

The phone fell from my hand feeling terrified.My mind didn't process anything except those words.

He was coming and he met with an accident?

His car? He was on the way!

My karan was coming! He was coming!

.

.

.

To be continued.

*****

Don't scold me for this now😬..let's see what happens next?

Excited or not guys ?🙃

preeta was waiting for him🥺.

She had planned so much to do after meeting him but now💔.All we can do is wait.

And don't forget to tell me how was the chapter? Hope you all liked it💓.Coz I loved and enjoyed while writing 🤌.

And next chapter will be on Tuesday 😉✨.Yeah a reason is there for sure🤭.

4600 words

Ok will be meet you all soon..bye🙋‍♀️💖.