Trust me I will never come into your life,
If you feel better without me.

~

The strong feeling of loneliness added to the pain of her heart when he didn't called her today.It's been 2 days he was calling her to ask her about the lunch.

Her heart was aching and she wasn't feeling good or any positive thoughts were coming to her mind.She tried to ignore that but she couldn't and ended up thinking about him and her.

Remembering about them together didn't made her feel she was overthinking and it felt right and true.That is what making her more weak.

She reached the home by evening and entered inside as the door wasn't locked and then realised that roshni or Karan may be at home.

She sighed tiredly and was about to go inside her room that she heard roshni's voice.

She halted at her place and thinned her eyebrows as she got know she was talking something about karan.

"Tum kitne acche ho karan,Mein Mumbai mein aayi toh tumse milne hi aayi thi,lekin mujhe kya pata tha I will end up staying with you.Tum bilkul waise hi ho sweet, caring, handsome and a little bit of arrogant "preeta gulped her saliva and  thought to run away from there but she wanted to know about her feelings too.

Her heart pinched hearing roshni's words as she praised karan.He was her husband,the love of her life and she never wanted any other girl to see his all sides except her.She knew it was not going to happen but still they were married and together willingly or unwillingly and she meant it wholeheartedly.

"Jab tumne kaha ki tumhare shaadi hue hai toh, Mujhe bohot hurt hua karan.I lost the every hope of us.Mein nahi ana chahti thi tumhare saath lekin tumne mujhe promise deke yaha leke aaye and that is when I gradually started falling for you again" preeta's heart broke listening to her piercing words and she clutched her nuptial necklace in her fists with tears.

Her every thoughts about roshni were becoming true but preeta never imagined that she would listen this one day.

"Tumne abhi bhi woh password rakha hai and it's more than enough for me to know that you may still have feelings for me.I know I am wrong but I don't know why it feels right.I love you karan.I am Sorry mein itne din tumse dur thi,agar mein tumhare paas aati toh tumhare life mein ye sab kuch nahi hota"

Ground slipped beneath preeta's feet and her tears weren't stopping at any cost.She was right if roshni would have never left him,he would have married with her and stayed happily.

It was a forcefull marriage and who knew If he was trying to maintain their marriage beacuse of their parents and all.She knew he loved roshni and even in the starting days of their marriage he had confessed that right in front of her.

She instantly entered inside their room not able to hear more and closed the door.She kept the palm over her mouth and leaned to the floor while sobbing.

Her eyes brimmed with tears and she fisted her hand pressing her lips together shaking her head repeatedly.

Her heart was broken like the glass pieces and her soul felt all numb.She had never imagined she had to go through this where she felt her life all nill and empty.

Her life turned 360 ° all of a sudden after their marriage and was again and again coming back to square one even she tried many times.She kept palms on her face crying in pain listening to her fastening heartbeat as if it would stop anytime.

We were never destined.She thought and sobbed hard letting her tears out.The love she had and showered these days felt like drowning in the deep sea.

May be those days were just the play of god created for her, to shatter her leaving in nothing.

She had a feeling this could happen but in reality the feeling was more worse and the pain of her kept increasing for each second.

She still Loves him!

Roshni's words were still ringing in her mind and she could feel the only thing was fear and hurt.

She knew that karan may still has the soft corner towards roshni and if he gets to know that roshni still loves him,he would be the happiest and it won't take a minute for him to breakup this marriage with her.

Beacuse he loved her first and she will be his last.Like she loves karan from her whole heart in the same way they may love eachother and if they are together again may be that is the reason and their fate wants.

May be I am the wall between them?

She nods her head while sobbing and and clutched her dress pulling her knees to her chest.

What if he leaves me?What if he says that he loves roshni still and want to get devorce with me?

She shaked her head and cried more.She had never imagined she will face a day where she will feel all alone and no one will be there to console her,to decrease the pain of her crying heart.

She kept wiping her tears but they didn't listen to her and flowed like a river.

what if he says me to go away from this home?

Where she had created a many memories of them together,may be for some days but they were precious for her.

She was not ready for that day when he will say her to go so that he wants to live with roshni!

"What is she going to do then?If I say him that I love him! it doesn't even matter because it is my one sided love and they love eachother then I am the odd one out"she thought in her mind while wailing.

She clutched her hair in her fists not able to take this much of ache and kept on  sobbing silently on her cursed fate.

"It will be better for me to take the initiative than both.If I will step back then it will be easy for them and even I will be out of this mess" She was not ready for the day when he says that all to her.It will be more better for her to go away from them as soon as possible.

If his happiness is with roshni she was ready to leave him.If he was forced into this relationship she was ready to break this marriage now.Because she knew it is better to stay single than forcing others to stay with you or love you.

She wiped her tears and unknowningly tucked her hair behind her ear standing up then slowly made her way towards the washroom and closed the door.

Lifting her hands towards the shower knob she turned it on and stood below the shower.She gasped feeling the cold water touching her scalp and then her hair locks reaching till her shoulder,then wetting her dress.

She closed her eyes and wiped her face feeling the lump in her heart.The cold water rushing through her skin made her shiver but her skin was burning form inside feeling a sharp pain.

She remembered the day he met her after years and the way she felt goosebumps seeing him as she bumped with him.

But today it was the for her heart to break as he had mentioned it before only that this marriage won't matter for him.She realised it now that she was at fault for forcing him into this marriage and making him suffer along with her.

Now everything was making sense and she was realising that she ruined his happiness and his marriage.She cursed herself for doing this with him and even her.Her legs wobbled falling weak.Her breath was short-winded.

But she never regretted their marriage.even he did hurt her many times she still loved him and never hated him.But she cannot expect from him to feel the same for her when he doesn't has any feelings for her.

She did a mistake!

She was realising this now when everything was falling apart and she almost lost him.

But she came to a conclusion and took a decision with a heavy heart and with that broken pieces of her heart.

She turned off the Knob and picked a towel.She wiped herself and wore a bathrobe as she forgot to take her dress while coming.

She got dressed in a night wears and sat on the bed.Her face was all pink and reddish,her nose was burning and eyes were swollen due to excess of crying.But she cared less and stood infornt of the mirror.

Her gaze went on the nuptial chain which was the sign of their marriage. she couldn't help again tears brimmed in her eyes soon kissing her cheeks.

She clutched it to her skin and shut her eyes feeling terrible.She always loved to wear it and to show that she was married and taken.But now it felt wrong and she cried remembering their marriage and every rituals.

Heading towards the bed she sat and layed their slowly.

Resting her hand on the bed and she layed her head on it while drowing in her thoughts.

.

.

.

It was 9 at the night when karan entered Inside their room and saw her sleeping.He didn't knew why his heart ached looking at her sleeping as she was curled and his hands ached to hold her in his embrace like he does every night.

He too wasn't feeling good as their was not much communication between them since yesterday.But she was the one who did that and didn't even said anything about that. why she behaved like that.There must be some reason and he wanted to know that.

But her silence irked him.he sighed heading towards the washroom picking his clothes and came back after 10 minutes wearing his tshirt and pant.

Heading towards the bed and he looked at her sleeping figure.His hand reached her shoulder and he shook her.

"Preeta!"he knew she must have skipped the dinner and slept like that only.

"Preeta"he again called but felt her skin hot and touched her forehead.

He widened his eyes and touched her neck.

"My god!preeta"he muttered worriedly realising she had a fever and rubbed his forehead.

He immediately went outside the room and thought to call roshni.But ignored it releasing she was also not well and went towards the kitchen.

He took a cloth and Bowl of water. Immediately running back inside their room he sat beside her and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Preeta flickered her eyes feeling his movements and opened her eyes seeing him sitting beside her.

"Karan"she held his hand which was on her forehead and took it back.

"Shh!close your eyes and sleep..fever hai tumhe..kaise hua ye haa?"Karan asked her worriedly seeing her face which looked all dull and pale.

"Mein thik hu"she whispered lowly while trying to sit but he made her lay again and kept the wet cloth on her forehead.

"Mujhe dikh raha hai ki tum kitna thik ho..now don't talk anything and sleep I will call the doctor"karan said and took his mobile.

"Nahi karan! Mein thik hu tum jao"she said taking his hand back.

"Preeta,just stay quiet and let me do this"he said glaring at her and dialed the number.

"Nahi..I am fine...kisiko mat bulao"she whispered meekly shaking her head.

"stay quiet"he commanded and talked with the doctor saying him to come.

"Karan tumne doctor ko kyu bulaya..mein thik hu.. leave me"she said annoyingly and jerked his hand.

"What is your problem yaar!kyu Aisa kar rahi ho? Can't you feel tumhe fever hai"karan yelled at her feeling irritated with her behaviour.He was worried for her but she wasn't even ready to listen to him.

Her eyes brimmed with tears and she turned to the other side wiping her tears.Karan felt guilty and held her shoulder.

"Preeta..I am sorry!I am worried yaar fever hai..please ro mat.. listen to me"he said meekly.

"Kya farak padta hai..rehne do!Mein tablet le lungi"preeta said and sat on the bed lowering her eyes.

Karan held her arm and made her look at him.

"Kya hua hai?aisa kyu kar rahi ho? please lay dow. doctor abhi aate honge"karan said lowly.

She didn't spoke anything and laid on the bed silently.Karam sighed in relief and kept the wet cloth on her forehead again.

Doctor arrived after sometime and checked her and then prescribed some medicines saying nothing is serious and it is a mild fever.

"Preeta tum rest Karo mein inhe chod ke aata hu"karan left from their and preeta looked at him sadly.

Roshni came inside after they left and saw her.Preeta stiffened seeing her and rested her head on the headrest.

"Preeta abb kaise feel ho raha hai?"Roshni inquired.

Preeta pressed her lips and looked at her  faintly.She sighed her to sit and roshni sat on the bed infront of her.

"You love him right?"preeta asked her with a faint smile not able to control herself.

Roshni gaped at her in shock and thinned her eyebrows in confusion.

"Karan"preeta added and looked at her.

"Preeta me.."Roshni stammered not knowing what to say and shook her head.

"I know,meine suna aaj..I mean I wasn't ear dropping.your words reached my ears and I couldn't help and heard it"preeta cleared her so that she should not deny in front of her.

Roshni's eyes widened like a saucer and she felt like she had been trapped.She thinned her eyebrows looking at her not knowing how to say or explain.

Roshni felt awkward and just sat their quietly.

"Don't worry!mein kuch galat nahi soch rahi hu.I know you both were in love and may be even now"preeta whispered controlling her pain not wanting to show it in front of her.

"Lekin...kar"roshni was about to complete that preeta cut her of and said,

"Karan..even he Loves you.After all you are his first love right! Don't worry about our marriage,waise bhi ye ek forcefull marriage thi..karan Keliye toh forcefull thi beacuse he loved you and even for me meine bhi apne parents keliye shaadi ki thi aur abb Tak toh tumhe pata chal gaya hoga ki humare bich mein husband wife jaisa relation nahi hai"preeta lied gulping her tears back and looked at her with a small smile.

"Ye tum kya keh rahi ho? Mein kuch nahi samjh rahi"Roshni was shocked listening to her.She knew what she was indirectly saying but asked to know what preeta was up to.

"Mein bas karan ko khush dekhna chahti hu.I want him to be happy and I guess woh sirf tumhare saath khush rahega and I have seen it in these days.Jaisa meine kaha this marriage doesn't even mean to me.Mein tumhe sab bata dungi lekin tab tak tum karan se iske bare mein kuch mat kehna..please"preeta held her hand in hers and took a promise.

Roshni was ashtonished and stunned.She couldn't even believe what preeta was saying and she got know what she meant.Her heart fluttered at a corner thinking about her and karan.But she was all confused and at sea.

"Mein aati hu"Roshni nodded taking her hand back nervously and went from their.

Preeta closed her eyes tiredly and her tears rolled down till her cheeks which she was holding till now.Only she knew how much it pained while saying her those bitter words but she thought it was necessary.

Karan came back after another 15 minutes and saw her in a sitting position.Preeta saw him and lowered her gaze.

"Abb tum please,bina argue kiye khana kha ke ye tablets leke so Jana okay! Kal subhe tak thik ho jaogi!"he said with a smile and sat in front of her.

She looked at his smile and then into his eyes.She always love to drown into them but it ached thinking she won't be able to see them again,being this close to him.

"Oye"karan snapped his finger gaining her attention.Preeta blinked her eyes and nodded.

"Mein tumhare liye khana leke aata hu wait"saying he stood up and went outside.

Preeta stared at his back and sighed.He felt like a precious treasure who wasn't meant for her even though she tried much but failed again and again.

As if he belongs to the one he wishes.She wasn't regretting loving him.It was the best feeling for her and he knowingly or unknowingly showed her what love is and how it feels.

She started loving him being in his memories even when he was far away from her and she started loving him more when he was near her, with her and she knew she will love him even now whatever it may happens,she will love him till her end.

It wasn't his fault,It was her mistake that she didn't confessed it in front of him at the right time and she tried when it was all over and when he was already someone's.

"Hm lo"karan's voice brought her back to senses and she looked at him faintly.He raised his eyebrows and forward her the bite and she shook her head in no and opened her mouth to eat with his hands may be one last time.

She kept staring him occasionally thinking whether she will get to see him again or not.This was the last chance and she wanted to copy him in her mind to cherish it forever.

He was the best thing happened to her and she was greatful for that.She never knew winning his heart will be this difficult than Loving Him.

And now she had realised that it only needs one heart to love someone but it needs two hearts to complete that love.

Tears were about to fall through her eyes but she was hardly controlling as many things were going through her mind.

"Tum itna ziddi kyu ho babydoll? Tell me?"karan questioned glaring at her.

"Tum batao Mera itna care kyu kar rahe ho?kya lagti hu mein tumhari?"she asked as if it slipped out of her tongue surprising herself.

Karan furrowed his eyebrows at her question and chuckled.But his expressions changed seeing something strange in her eyes and that pale face.

"Aisa kyu puch rahi ho?"karan asked lowly.

"Bas puch rahi hu!tum jawab do?"she questioned staring into his eyes.

But karan broke their eyelock and lowered his gaze feeling strange.His heart beat raced unknowingly and he couldn't process anything what to answer her.

"woh mein bata dunga..abb jaldi kha lo,you need to take rest"he said ignoring her question and forwarded a bite not meeting her eyes.

Preeta looked at him with tears and ate.Her heart was breaking all again and she couldn't help except feeling the pain of those broken pieces peircing her heart like a knife.

She too lowered her gaze and didn't asked him anything further.She got her answer through his silence and it said many things.

"Mein ye rakh ke aata hu..tum tablets lo"he said and stood up from there.

She simply sat quietly staring the bedsheet and karan came back after a minute.

"I knew tum nahi logi,take this"karan scolded her and gave the tablet in her hand.

She took it and gulped with the water.He raised his eyebrows seeing her expressions as their were nothing.she always made faces while taking the tablet but this time she just gulped it down.He thought it may be because of the illness and held her shoulder.

"Okay now sleep,I want to see you all fine tomorrow.Aisa dull aur pale face bilkul accha nahi lagta"karan said sitting beside her.

Preeta looked at him with moist eyes and instantly hugged him wrapping her hands around him to hide her tears.Karan rubbed her back and smiled.

"Now sleep babydoll!you will be fine tomorrow..kuch nahi hua hai"he whispered against her neck and hugged her.

She broke the hug after feeling his embrace for the last time and looked at him.Karan smiles at her and shifted her hair behind her ear.

She wanted to ask him,this felt so loved.She was not ready to leave him,she wanted to stay in his embrace forever.She wanted him to take care of her like this,to feed her whenever she feels low.She was not ready to live without him.

But soon she realised that she cannot be selfish for her own sake and it was important to care about his happiness.When they were in front of her and even knowing that they love eachother she didn't had a heart to separate them even though it was killing her from inside while claiming as someone else's.

"Now sleep"karan said and made her lay on the bed.

He was feeling confused with her behaviour and her moist eyes.He wasn't able to recognise was that because of her fever or the reason was something else.He thought to ask her once she gets well.

She layed on the bed staring at him with a pain and karan cupped her face looking at her.She closed her eyes feeling his touch and pressed her lips realising she won't be able to feel him again.Karan pulled the blanket over her and took his hand back.Only she knew much pain she was hiding inside her and the thought itself was rupturing her to the core.

"Tum so jao mein dinner karke aata hu"he informed her and was about to go that preeta held his hand stopping him and shaked her head in no.

"Kya hua?"he asked sitting back and held her hand.

"Please..Stay!"preeta requested.

"Okay!mein yahi hu tum ankhen band karo"karan muttered and she nods while closing her eyes.

Karan sighed and looked at his hand as she held it tightly.He shifted close to her and rested his other hand on her forehead and started patting her slightly so that she feels good and sleeps quickly.

She was so sensitive and careless.He knew that and always tried to take some extra care for her and he knew she was a attention seeker whenever something happens to her.She used to make every family members to surround around her  in their childhood if she would get hurt.

He leaned and kissed her forehead.Her heart fluttered with feeling his lips and she felt calmed a little bit for now.She held his hand more tightly not wanting to stay away from him this night.

She wanted him to stay by her side till she was with him and his all attention should be for her.she was not ready to get ignored by him because of others.

And her thoughts continued till she felt asleep because of medicine effect still Holding his hand.Karan took it back after assuring himself that she was slept and went towards the kitchen to have his dinner.

He asked roshni and she told him that she already had. he quickly completed his dinner within 10 mins and headed back to his room to check on preeta.

He layed beside her and covered the blanket on them properly.He checked her fever and it was decreased.He sighed in relief and stared at her face.

His fingers traced her rosy cheeks till her chin and a smile crep his lips looking at her.He didn't know why he felt like taking her in his embrace by himself.

She was sleeping on her shoulder facing him and he held her which was rested on the bed from which she was holding his hand before.He held it back and entwined his fingers with her.

She turned her face slightly and shifted her hand on him resting it on his stomach.Karan smiled knowing that soon she will crawl on him and will hug him like her teddy bear.

And she did so, sensing the warmth of his hand she shifted close to him and rested her head on his chest and then surrounded her hand around him more tightly.

His heart beat raised to an extent and every night it did but today he was all awake and observed her every actions and the way she sticked him in her sleep.

He smiled heartily and hugged her back kissing her head feeling complete taking her in his embrace.This felt like a addiction to him now and he got used to her cuddles every night.

He wondered whether she knew it or not?

He pulled her more her against  his chest and closed his eyes taking a deep breath unaware of the next day's disaster.

.

.

.

To be continued

*****

Please someone take her away from this mess, Can't see those tears in her eyes 🤧.

Well karan?🤷🏻‍♀️.. Don't want to say anything about him😕.

Well let's see what preeta is up to in the next chapter 👀.

Please leave a song comment after reading the chapter 😒.. that's all I could ask for.

Don't forget to VOTE 🔺.

Ok bye..