Chapter 4 | Dessert

After that morning, I finally convinced Eros to leave. We conversed, and he seemed understanding about giving me space—the opposite of how he had acted the previous night. Then, things got weird because I never heard from him again. There were no texts, calls, or updates for the next few days, which was odd considering how chatty he was the last time he was here.

I couldn't help but smile to myself. Was this his best attempt at trying to deceive me? It was almost comical how transparent he was in his deceitful tactics. There was a tinge of disappointment in realizing he thought he could easily fool me.

For me, relationships are like background noise—merely distractions from what truly matters. I date and play with it boys, snagging a bit of their spotlight for myself. Other girls are all about that deep, "he's the one" kind of talk like their life's a rom-com. Me? I can't relate. I've never caught those feelings.

Harry, my most recent fling before Eros, was a walking, talking checklist of perfection. He had this knack for noticing the tiny details, boasted a brain that actually worked, and had his life sorted enough to live on his own–charming indeed. Playing with him was a blast until I caught him making out with the former volleyball girls' captain.

My reaction was as flat as soda left open overnight. There was no single tear. I felt absolutely nothing and kicked him to the curb faster than last season's fashion. The disappointment wasn't a shock; it was more like waiting for a delayed train. You know it's coming; it's just a matter of when.

Sa huling taon ko sa senior high, napagpasyahang kong huwag na muling pumasok sa relasyon o makipagkilala dahil nakakapagod at nakakasawa na. Iyon ang plano ko hanggang sa lumapit sa akin si Eros para idamay ako sa kalokohang ito. Ilang beses ko siyang tinanggihan pero nainis na lang ako sa kanyang pamimilit kaya't pinagbigyan ko na.

Initially, I assumed it would be the usual drill—no need for extra effort on my part. However, I wouldn't be wrestling with these second thoughts if he were just any guy showing interest.

Monday came, and I went to school with Mia. Tandang tanda ko ang schedule ng basketball team tuwing may practice dahil sa mga araw na iyon lang ako hindi nagugulo ni Eros. I quietly made my way to the senior high school building. A few greeted and teased me because they allegedly saw Eros earlier. Nang pumasok ako sa aming room, nandoon na si Vivien na tambak ng mga binabasang sulatin.

"You're reviewing for what again?" I asked.

"Entrance exam."

I nodded even when her attention was on the book she was reading.

"Saan ka magta-try?"

"My father wants me in UP, and my mom suggests Ateneo..."

"But where do you want?"

Vivien turned to me. "UST sana."

I nodded. We had the same choice. "I want you to pass the three entrance exams and choose UST."

She chuckled. "I believe I can't do that. If ever na makapasa ako sa UP, my father would push me there. Ang hirap humindi sa magulang."

I was silenced because something had crossed my mind. Tito Niko and Tita Rhea never pushed me in anything I didn't like. They would always ask me about my plans. Hindi nila ako pinangungunahan at hindi rin sila mahigpit sa akin, sobrang layo sa kung paano nila tratuhin si Mia. My younger self thought they were less concerned when it came to me. Ngayon ay tila ba may yumakap sa aking puso.

Perhaps my parents didn't aim to push me into their mold. Maybe they hoped I'd find my path and be my own person. Yet, I couldn't shake off my suspicions. Tito Niko, after all, was incredibly persuasive.

Vivien's voice woke me. "You alright?"

"Yes."

Realizing it now, I was somehow lucky.

"Para sa akin, Vivien, dapat matuto kang magdesisyon para sa sarili mo. Hindi ka na bata para sundin lahat ng gusto nila para sa 'yo—"

"Wala naman akong problema sa trato ng magulang ko sa akin, Carthage. I am honestly thankful dahil maayos ang buhay ko. Makabubuti sa akin lahat ng desisyon nila—"

"Makabubuti nga pero masaya ka ba sa gusto nila?"

She smiled weakly. "Syempre, hindi natin maiiwasang malungkot paminsan-minsan."

I shrugged. "You should exercise your freedom more. Dadating rin ang panahong ikaw na lang ang tatayo para sa sarili."

She nodded timidly. "I'm still learning that, Carthage. Pakiramdam ko nga'y magiging independent na ako pagdating ng college since I'll be away from home."

Our talk stopped when the first class began. We were all silent and attentive. Siguro'y hindi pa rin nila nakalimutan ang nangyaring issue last week. Nawala sa isip ko iyon noong weekend dahil marami akong inasikaso. I sent the whole schedule para sa training ng cheer dance, I did some homeworks and reviewed lectures. Ngayon ay tila ba bumalik sa aking isipan ang problema kay Mr. Printo.

Nang nag-break time, sumabay ako kay Vivien papuntang cafeteria. Hindi ito madalas punuan plus the food here is way better than the bigger cafeteria. We used to wait for our other friends to join us during the break, but this time was different. We were both not in the mood to be with many people. We knew for sure they were at the bigger cafeteria, so we decided to settle here.

We immediately got our orders and went to where we usually sat.

"Tingin mo, okay na si Sir Printo sa cheating issue?" I asked.

"Isa pa yang pinoproblema ko, e. Hindi pa naman magpapatalo 'yon."

I was about to speak when a group entered, creating a disturbance in the area. Our attention and that of others like us turned toward them.

"Do you know them?" I asked while my eyes were glued to the group.

"Are you kidding me? Who wouldn't know them?" Vivien said as if my question was something stupid.

I arched my brows and narrowed my eyes. "Maybe I know their names but not their faces or vice versa."

"Volleyball men's team!"

Ah, kaya pala may mga nakita akong pamilyar. Iniwas ko na ang aking tingin sa grupo nang naupo sila sa isang parihabang lamesa.

I went back to our topic. "Sana hindi na damdamin ni Mr. Printo yung cheating issue. Wala akong maisip na pwedeng magpalambot sa puso niya."

Vivien's stressed expression made me chuckle.

"Nakakaloka, girl. Ang dami nating ginagawa tapos dumagdag pa ang Printo'ng 'yon. Pasalamat siya't hindi under cookery ang track natin kung hindi, matagal ko na siyang binabad sa mantika," she ranted.

Sabay kaming humalakhak sa birong iyon. Ito lang naman ang pwede naming gawin sa dami ng iniintindi—ang tumawa. Nadistorbo ang aming tawanan nang may lalaking nagparinig galing sa volleyball men.

"Pineda, kaya pala gusto mo rito kasi nandito crush mo!"

Nag-asaran sila at ginulo ang buhok ng isang lalaki sa kanilang grupo. Siya siguro ang inaasar pero hindi ko masyadong nakita dahil napapaligiran siya ng mga maiingay na kaibigan.

"Pineda?" Vivien whispered.

"Huwag mo ng pansinin 'yan. Hindi naman tayo ang ginugulo."

"Kilala mo?"

I swayed my head. "Not even familiar."

Vivien laughed. "Taray talaga!"

"Carthage, cute mo raw!" Someone said, making the teasing louder.

My patience evaporated, and my smile disappeared, leaving my face expressionless. The guy they'd been teasing me about finally stepped into view. He wasn't smiling either. Instead, he seemed quiet and shy, almost like he was a stranger to everyone else. He attempted to blend into the background, but it was too late. I had already memorized his features.

"Lagot kayo. Nagalit yata crush ni Pineda," someone teased.

Inubos ko ang aking juice at tiningnan si Vivien na hindi pa tapos ang kinakain. These boys were incredibly irritating. We chose this spot for its peace, but now they were unabashedly pestering me.

"You want a dessert?" Vivien asked.

Although I was ready to finally leave, the idea of getting a fresh dessert won over me. Tumayo ako at napansing tinutulak-tulak na nila ang lalaking inaasar. Hindi ko sila nilingon at diretso lamang nagtungo sa dessert counter.

Tahimik akong namimili ng pwedeng bilhin nang biglang tumahimik ang volleyball team. Narinig ko ang malakas na pagsara ng pinto ng cafeteria kung kaya't napalingon ako roon. Pumasok si Eros kasama ang halos lahat ng basketball team. Napansin kong hindi pa sila nagbibihis galing sa ensayo at tila ba inuna nilang kumain bago magpalit.

Diretso ang tingin sa akin ni Eros, ni hindi ako nginitian. Binalik ko ang tingin sa aking bibilhin. Hindi ko alam ang lasa nito pero ito na ang aking kinuha para makabalik na sa tabi ni Vivien.

Tinanggap ko ang dessert at aalis na sana nang harangan ni Eros aking daan. The basketball men cheered for Eros, who was standing behind me. Magkaharap kaming dalawa at halos sobrang lapit na ng mga mukha sa isa't isa.

"Anong oras practice ninyo bukas?" He asked.

"Six."

He nodded, and what he did next left everyone in the cafeteria utterly speechless. With a boldness that came from nowhere, he dared to plant a soft, uninvited kiss on my right cheek. I instinctively shoved him away, my irritation flaring into a fierce annoyance at his audacity.

He had his usual provoking smirk that I hated. Kung kaming dalawa lang ang nandito, sinapak ko na 'to at tinapon sa basurahan. Inirapan ko na lamang siya at naglakad na patungo kay Vivien.

His team's teasing echoed in my ears, only adding fuel to my simmering frustration. Yet, in a sudden turn, silence fell over the volleyball team, drawing my gaze towards them, almost against my will. Naka-upo sila sa hindi malayong banda mula sa aming table kaya hindi naging mahirap tingnan ang kanilang gawi.

I noticed how another person gently tapped Pineda's back, causing me to furrow my brow in concern. I tried not to jump to conclusions or let my imagination run wild, but they seemed visibly upset for some reason. Meanwhile, Pineda absentmindedly twirled his pasta around his fork, looking as though he'd suddenly lost all interest in eating.

I chuckled. "Kahit ako, nawalan din ng gana kumain dahil kay Eros."

"Huh?" Vivien asked.

I turned to her with a faint smile and saw she was already done. "Nothing. Let's go?"