+ LOVING ELIJAH MCCAY +
VOL. 1: CHAPTER TWELVE

     My weekend with Rick felt off, like he was hiding something from me. I tried my best not to pry, but I couldn't help it, I was so, so worried. During dinner, I had asked if everything is all right. And even after our conversation during school, he still didn't seem completely competent with sharing his feelings.

That Sunday afternoon, Rick offered to take me home. I agreed, and was left at my doorstep not even half an hour later. As I watched Rick's truck roar, a frown overtook my face. This time was it his father or just—him?

My father spent the entire morning bragging about how beautiful Hanukkah would be this year. Although, he said this every year. And he never disappointed.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cooped up in my bedroom. Soft, mellow music playing from my old stereo. Thankfully, my parents allowed me to wallow in peace. Usually, whenever I felt this way, my mother would barge into my bedroom, and sit right beside me.

She wouldn't be too affectionate, but she'd still sit in silence with me, me almost instantly cheering up due to the awkward silence.

When Monday came, as usual, my father drops me off about an hour before the first bell, due to Coach's early-Monday practices. Sure, I didn't agree with the tactic, but I wasn't one to argue with the man who'd been coaching longer than I've been alive.

The anticipation I felt booming through me as I made my way toward the locker room, was unbelievable. I was excited. Excited to see him again.

I don't remember when this started, me waiting for the weekend to end, just to see Elijah again. Even when I knew that he most-definitely couldn't care less about me.

While Coach began to instruct the team, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He sat there, completely oblivious, index and thumb clicking his pen as he patiently waited for coach to finish his sentence. But there I was, practically drooling over him, even if he was doing it absolutely effortlessly.

And I still couldn't even figure out what it was.

My fingers grasped tightly onto my legs, watching as Elijah stood from his stool, and began speaking.

"—that's how easy it is to become distracted. One second, you can be the absolute best, then the next, you're back at the bottom. That's why it's so, so important to pay attention. Even if it is just paying attention to the opponent—"

I had already checked out of the conversation, or, speech, watching his lips as he spoke humbly, yet sternly.

"Right, Gage?"

His question caught me off guard. I had been admiring him so intently, that once my name left his lips, my cheeks reddened instantly. "R-Right."

Elijah took a step toward my team I, although, I was sitting in the way back. Which meant that he couldn't get to me as easily. "What did I say?"

Why was he doing this? Did he see me staring? Had everyone seen my staring? "H-How important it is to b-be on time?" It came off as more of a question, rather than a statement.

He noticed this instantly.

Coach laughed from beside him, as did everyone else. My cheeks once again, reddened as Elijah only rolled his eyes and continued on. Needless to say, the rest of practice, I was a nervous wreck.

     But the day went on, as Monday's do, and I found myself dreading seeing Rick during lunchtime. Not because I didn't want, but because I was scared. I didn't know if he was still in a funk about his dad, or if his emotions had bounced back like they usually do.

I watched Rick from the lunch line as it hardly moved, him engaging with both Austin and Terrance at our designated table.

Trying not to let confusion get the best of me was difficult. I didn't understand why all of a sudden he was all find and dandy. Was it me who had put him in his funk, and now, without me he was flourishing.

But before my thoughts could cascade any further, I was bumped into from behind. I turned, my heart dropping my stomach at Elijah's emotionless expression. He seemed stoic, but I could hardly get a word out. Especially with what had happened during practice.

"I-I'm sorry," I rushed out, even though he had been the one to run into me.

He narrowed both eyebrows my way, leaning over my shoulder to grab a bottled water. "You're fine, I bumped into you."

A weak smile broke out onto my lips, as my shaky fingers also reached out for a bottled water. Just like Elijah had. He could see my hands shaking, him setting his tray down with a loud sigh.

"Okay, Gage," he began, my heart now in an overdrive. "What's the matter with you? You've been acting weird since this morning. You weren't like this last week."

I couldn't bring myself to answer, trying to conjure up something that would somewhat make sense. "Yeah, I know," I feigned knowledge to my behavior, "things have been kinda hectic with baseball and school. You know how it is."

     He snorted, reaching his arm out again, only this time, retrieving an orange. "Yeah. I know exactly how it is."

     Elijah seemed irritable at the fact that he "knew how it was" and right then, I began to question his liking for baseball altogether.

     I looked behind me, toward my friends, then back again at Elijah. I wondered who he'd eat lunch with, or if he'd just leave. But judging by the tray he held, I'm guessing he was staying.

     Taking a leap of faith, I took another step forward, watching as Elijah's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

     "Would you like to come and sit with my friends and I?" The words tumble out before I even had a second to rethink them. My hands start to twitch again, my palms becoming insanely sweaty.

     Elijah took another moment, those bright green eyes switching from mine, then back to my table. Where Rick, Austin and Terrance resided. His Adam's apple bobs, but then—he agrees.

     I'm in utter shock as the two of us make our way to the table. His strides are slow, but long, which makes him already three steps ahead of me. Rick and I lock eyes, him most-definitely wanting to ask me a million questions all at once.

     Once we've made it, I take the seat closest to Rick, Elijah taking the one closest to me.

     Almost instantly, I can feel my cellphone buzz through my sweatshirt pocket, and I know it's Rick subtly asking what is going on. But I have no answer, as I don't know what's going on either.

     "So," Terrance begins, of course, being the only one of us to stupidly start conversation. "How's college, Eli?"

     I can't help but wince at his use of Elijah's nickname, since the two of them weren't exactly friends back when Elijah went to Wayland. Considering he was a freshman, just like me.

     Elijah looks up from his tray, seemingly very, very uncomfortable. And I can't help but feel as though I've forced into a situation he doesn't want to be in. "Uh—good, good."

     I take notice of how Elijah doesn't bother to ask Terrance about his school-life, and I almost laugh at the fact. "Wait, what's your name again?"

     My heart begins to pound, since I can already sort of tell where the conversation is going. During my drunken dinner with Elijah, I'd spilled all of the spicy details on Terrance and I. Only to receive horrid advice.

     Terrance beams at the opportunity to tell Elijah more about himself, since Elijah is the cool college-kid that's here for a limited amount of time.

     "Terrance." Elijah turns toward me, clearly piecing everything together.

     Then, he laughs my way, my own cheeks heating up. "Fucking hilarious."