+ LOVING ELIJAH MCCAY +
VOL. 1: CHAPTER NINETEEN

Rick doesn't come to school today, and I haven't spoken to him since our phone call the other night. I spent all Wednesday and Thursday worried out of my mind, sending a few messages here and there, asking if he was alright. But all I ever got was a short, "I'm fine."

But I knew better than to bug Rick during situations like this, it most-likely being a family issue, that had to do with his father and one of his many girlfriends.

I set aside the negative thoughts that invaded my head every time it was empty, and focused on my English teacher trying her best to lecture my class on all of the noise. But I was proud to say I wasn't ever really apart of that noise, me only having one friend.

Lunch isn't very eventful, and I find myself sitting in my regular spot alone. I was expecting begin lunch, with a table full of people who I usually sit with. But my heart sank into the pit of my stomach when I realize they've all already found seats.

I try and shake off the feeling that they've all found other seats because Rick isn't here, and apparently--they only stuck around for him.

I'm saved from more overthinking, when a familiar voice declares it's presence. "Why are you sitting all by yourself?"

I look up at Terrance, a sorrowful smile on my lips. "I'm not too sure, guess they're sitting with all of their other friends."

Terrance takes a moment, analyzing my features and inward expressions. Then, his hand is moving forward, jutting a finger under my chin, directing my attention toward him. While we were together, the swift movement always had my heart swelling. But now, I cringed at his effort to be flirtatious.

But he doesn't seem to notice this. "You look upset about something." I know I must be giving away my worry for Rick's welling-being on my face, but it irritates me that Terrance is still able to recognize it so quickly.

Pulling my chin out of his grasp, I tuck in both of my hands into my jacket. "I'm not upset, just very, very bored. Also--why are you sitting here? Don't you have someone else to serenade?"

Terrance chuckles at this, and it reminds me of the many nights we'd stay up on the phone talking until we fell asleep. His laughter would always bring me comfortability and butterflies. As of this moment, the comfortability stayed--but the butterflies are gone.

Sitting here, face-to-face with him, I realize that, that is the only piece of closure I need. Considering, he will never say what he really felt for me. Or how I made him feel. No matter how many times I used to try.

"Oh, but baby I choose you." He sends a flattering wink my way, and I snort aloud.

"Get out of here," I smile, pushing his wandering fingers away once more. "You're too much."

We're interrupted when my cellphone buzzes inside of my pocket, startling me. I fetch it, eyes carefully scanning the area around me for any faculty members who could easily confiscate it. It's happened many times before.

When I realize there isn't anyone around who could catch me--besides Terrance, I turn it on, feigning a cough into the crook of my jacket. Terrance confusedly frowns at me from across the table.

Sorry I've been sort of MIA, there's just a lot of shit going on. Talk later? The text is vague, but I decide not to pry. Especially with Terrance right in front of me.

Terrance crooks his head, "everything okay?"

     I nod accordingly, trying not to display my worry too much. Because if I were going through something, I wouldn't want Rick telling everyone, either.

     Terrance seems to sense my offhand quietness, and sends his unopened box of apple juice toward me, standing from his side of the table. "I think I'm gonna head out."

     Just as he's walking away, he turns to me once more—lips curling slightly. "It was nice talking to you again." 

     Once the day is over, I take the school bus home, not being able to find Elijah though the swarm of my peers. Not that I was really looking for him, anyway. Or at least I was trying to convince myself that. I'd been thinking of ways to convince my parents--or my mother, really, to let me go to the state fair with Elijah and his friends from school. 

     But I knew deep down, the answer was most-likely no. 

     Sure, my mother was strict, but she had her moments. And maybe, just maybe--if she saw how just how much I wanted to go, she would cave. 

     And if she didn't, there was always my father. 

     When the bus stops, I'm quick to hop off of it, followed by anyone else who happens to live on my street. I don't recognize any of them, but I don't pay much mind to that fact, not at all bothered by it. 

     I bend over once I'm face-to-face with my houses door, retrieving the spare key from beneath the welcome mat. Toro is the first to greet me, as always, his tongue sloppily licking any part of me he can reach. 

     Squatting before him, I scratch behind both of his ears, a smile playing on my lips. "Hey, big guy. You miss me? Because I missed you." 

     Not long after, my mother is entering the living room, a casual outfit on, and her purse in hand. She takes a seat on the nearest chair. "How was school?" 

     I shrug, not delving into much detail. "It was okay, kind of boring though. Rick's been acting a little weird."

     She furrows both brows, crossing one leg over the other, now giving me her undivided attention. "Is everything alright with him?" 

     I want to tell her the truth. That Rick isn't alright, and that he's been quite lonely for a while now. But I don't, because I know that whenever I have a concern about Rick--the only person I can talk about it to is Rick. 

     It wouldn't be fair to tell all of his dirty laundry to my mother. 

     "Yeah, he's fine. He's just dealing with some personal issues. It doesn't stop me from worrying, though." I smile sadly, leaning against a wall that's been decorated harshly with family photos and portraits from over the years. 

     She nods understandingly, "I know, but I'm sure he'll be fine, Gage. He always is."

     "I just wish he knew it was okay to come to me about certain things. I mean we're best friends." 

     My mother nods once more. "He does know. But there are some things that you have to do alone."

     "Um, mom, I also have something else to talk to you about." 

     I'm interrupted by my father descending down the staircase, a plate of uneaten grapes in hand, He sends a smile towards my mother, before landing a soft kiss on her forehead, then moving closer to do the same to me. 

     After discarding the plate, he stands there with both arms crossed over his chest. "What's going on here?" 

     My mother answers for me, "Gage here has something he needs to tell us," she looks back toward me, "go ahead." 

     My fingers begin to twitch slightly, and I'm fidgeting in my awkward stance. I'm at a momentary loss for words, and only when my father waves a hand at me expectantly, do I begin to speak. 

     "W-Well, as you guys probably know, the state fair is happening this weekend, and I-I-I really wanna go. I've never been, and I think--" 

     "Oh, Yusuf, he wants to go to the state fair, while grounded." My mother shakes her head in a mocking sort of way, feigning surprise. 

     My father plays along, "Oh my goodness, Daria--while grounded!" He holds a hand to his chest, and I cross both arms across mine. 

     "I'm not kidding, I really wanna go--" 

     My mother begins to laugh, while my father joins in, the two of them seemingly making fun of me. I sigh in agitation, groaning loudly. "Why are you guys laughing at me?"

     She shrugs, running a finger down my cheek in affection, "I'm only teasing you, darling of course you can go." 

     It takes everything inside of me not to squeal aloud, only placing the biggest smile on my lips that I can muster. 

     "But with one condition!" She has a serious sort of look on her face, and my father looks just as confused as I do. I wait for her to continue, racking my brain for anything my mother could want from me, in order to let me go. 

     I nod frantically, waiting impatiently. "And your condition is?"

     "Stop worrying." Her words are firm and final. "Stop worrying about Rick, Gage. I know he is your friend, but he will come to you when he needs you. I promise." 

     I nod, my bottom lip being captured between my teeth due to unconventional excitement. And I just couldn't wait for this weekend.