+ LOVING ELIJAH MCCAY +
VOL. 1: CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Today's the day. Today's the day that my best friend in the entire world—leaves. Over these last few weeks I've tried my best to act like it wasn't bothering me as much as it actually was. But I knew that Rick saw right through me. I was just thankful that he didn't read too much into it, hence us not really having the whole how we'll stay in touch conversation.

I lie in bed, my back facing my bedroom door. I can hear my mother downstairs, most likely doing her Saturday-morning cleaning. Usually, I'd be down there with her . . . and my father, doing whatever list of chores she'd given us.

But today is different. Rick and his family leave at six-thirty to the airport. My alarm began blaring at five-forty-five, alerting me that it was time to get up, get dressed, and make my way to Rick's house.

I showered and dressed into modest, not wanting to be too overdress for an occasion like this one. When I made my way down the staircase, there my mother stood, a pitiful look on her face. It made me feel like crying.

"You ready to go?" She asks, hiking her purse over her shoulder, her keys in hand.

I nod, jogging down the last bit of steps. "Yeah, I'm ready." My words are quiet.

She reaches out, and loops her arm through mine. My hands are stuffed inside of the pocket of my sweatshirt as she does so. We make our way out to her car after locking up the house. The drive to Rick's is quiet, solemn. Like my mother doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

And if I'm honest, I don't blame her. These days, I know that I haven't been the easiest person to talk to. Because as hard as I try not to let everything bother me—it's getting harder and harder to ignore the fact that everything is changing.

I've never done too well with change.

We pull into Rick's driveway slowly, our eyes adjusting to multiple moving trucks parked in front of the large home. I can see Rick and his father loading box after box into one of the trucks, when Rick turns and notices that we've just gotten there.

The blonde runs over, a flappy smile on his face. "Hey, man. Thanks for coming, I know it's a little early."

"Of course," I say, sliding out of the passenger side, watching as my mother follows my lead. "I wouldn't miss this for anything." Rick opens his arms, engulfing me in the tightest embrace we've ever shared.

His arms loop around my waist, mine around his neck with my face nuzzling into his neck. Tears threaten to fall but I stop them, remembering the promise I'd made myself about waiting until Rick was actually gone, to cry.

I hold on tighter than I'd ever held anyone else. And I think that Rick can feel this because he squeezes me right back, one of his hands coming to hold the back of head, practically cradling me.

When my shoulders begin to shake with sobs, Rick tries to disconnect our hug to get a good look at my face, but this only makes me sob harder. He grabs onto my arm and leads me into the house—which part, I'm not sure.

My eyesight is blurry from all of the tears leaving them, and I can't see past Rick's shoulder that I'm currently stuffing my face into. When I can regain my vision, I can see that I'm being pulled into their rather large kitchen.

Embarrassment floods my veins when I see how many people are in there, packing and carrying boxes out. "Can we have a minute please?" He asks loudly yet politely, the workers nodding and scurrying.

I sniffle into the crook of my sweater, trying to without anymore tears. "Here, sit down." He pulls out a stool from beneath their kitchen island, signaling me to sit.

Sitting down, I begin wiping at my cheeks watching as Rick stares at me with curious eyes. "What the hell happened? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" I sob, swinging at his forearm. "You're leaving!" The cries rack through my chest and shoulders heavily, not leaving me any room to breathe.

"Gage, you need to breathe," as he says this he's rubbing circles onto my back, frantically reaching for the set of paper towels on the center of the island we're perched on. "Please try to breathe."

     Rick hands me a paper towel he ripped from its placeholder and I grab onto it, wiping at my nose, cheeks, and eyes. His soothing circulatory motions continue on my back as I try and collect myself. I roll the towel into a ball and keep it in my hand once I'm finished.

     He doesn't say anything, obviously not wanting to tick me off. I send an apologetic look. "I'm sorry," my words are whispered, echoing throughout the now quiet home. "I didn't mean to cry. I promised myself I wouldn't until you left."

     "It's okay to cry. I've cried about this, too," I nod, thankful for his understanding. "Although, I do prefer to do in the privacy of my own bedroom." His joke causes a chuckle to rip from my already heaving chest.

     "Fuck off," I laugh," I couldn't help it."

     "I know. It's cool." Rick sends a playful smile my way.

     We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, thinking about how to begin our goodbye. Fortunately, I beat him to it. "I'm really gonna miss you, man. Like really miss you."

     He lets out a heavy sigh, sitting in the islands stool beside me. "I'm gonna miss you, too—I hate that I have to leave."

I gulf down the bile in the back of my throat, not wanting to say the wrong thing that'll inevitably push Rick over the edge. I couldn't feel the slightest bit of irritation radiating off of him. I mean, I couldn't imagine having to leave everything behind and restart my entire life in another state.

     But those were the cards he was dealt. And I just wished I could help him get through it more efficiently. "Nothing's going to change, okay? It'll still be like before—"

     "Please don't lie to make me feel better," He softly says in one breath, leaning his chin into his palm. "It'll just make it worst because I know it isn't true."

     I straighten my posture, bringing our shoulders closer to one another as we sit side-by-side. "You know what; you're right. It's not gonna be like before," Rick sends me a confused sort of look. "It's gonna be better."

     He scoffs, head shaking side to side like he doesn't believe a word I'm saying. "It is. You're gonna meet tons of new people, tons of new girls. Make a whole other group of friends," my heart wrenches while saying the last sentence. "And maybe this will be a good opportunity for you and your dad to patch things up."

     I've said this before. But I'm hoping that repeating it will make him understand what I mean.

     "Also, Kim seems like such a nice person. I mean, who else would give me a ride in the middle of the night like thirty-minutes out of their way—not very many people," I continue, watching as Rick's features soften. "I really think that you should give her a chance."

     He turns toward me, placing his other elbow on the island before us. "I don't know. I just . . . It wouldn't feel right."

     My eyebrows furrow, "why not?"

     Rick takes a moment to conjure up his response, teeth biting onto the inside of his cheek. "I-I just wouldn't want to replace her, you know? I get that Kim might be a good person and that the way I've treated her isn't fair. I just can't get close to another mother-figure and watch them leave. Again. It's happened so many fucking times."

     My heart feels as though it's breaking inside of my chest as I watch Rick's perfectly blue eyes redden with tears. But what hurts the most is that I know he's referring to both his mothers passing, and all of the women his father has been with in the past.

     I think back to my conversation with Kim. When she said that Richard was the love of her life, and that she now also loved Rick. And I'm sure. So sure that Kim doesn't seem like the up and leave type.

     But I don't say this—wanting the first time Rick finds out about Kim's love for him, to come from her. "You know what I think?" He shrugs. "I think that she really cares about you. And that she would never, ever want to replace Judith," his throat bobs at the mention of his late mother. "She just wants the opportunity for all of you to be happy. Happy together."

     Rick smiles softly, standing from his stool to lean down and engulf me into a hug. We hold onto each other for a moment, simply enjoying one another's company until we're interrupted.

     Kim walks through the front door, a prominent smile on her youthful features. "Uh, sorry to interrupt but your dad's loading up the last of everything and we're getting ready to head out . . ."

     We all make our way out onto the driveway, watching as Richard and the moving guys locked and loaded each truck, them now driving away. Richard ducks into the drivers side of the car, starting the engine.

     Kim looks just about ready to follow suit, but turns to me one last time. The breath is knocked out of my lungs when she pulls me into her arms, completely surrounding me.

     "It was really nice to meet you, Gage." She whispers into my ear, me smiling from ear to ear.

     She's gone now too, and the last one standing is Rick. I'm expecting just one last hug when he balls up a fist and pushes it into my chest. I look down, watching as he opens his palm.

     Resting idly in his hand is the signed baseball I'd given him not too long ago. I laugh in surprise. "Here, take it. It wouldn't feel right keeping it."

     "No, dude. Absolutely not. This is now yours—keep it." Rick doesn't resist for very long, because I know that some part of him really wanted to keep it.

     He walks over to the car, crouching into the backseat. But just before he shuts the door, he sends me one last wave, a crooked smile on his lips. I send one back.

     Then, they're gone.

A/N - One more chapter, everyone :/ AND a SUPER exciting announcement along with it!!!!!