Jamie's POV

"Baby?" I heard Alex whisper to me while lightly shaking me.

I rolled over, not wanting to see him. He sighed, letting his hand run up-and-down my back to try and make me forget what day this was. That was never going to happen because this was the one year anniversary of my dad's death.

"Jamie, are you hungry?" He whispered to me.

"No." I whispered back and I thought he didn't hear me until he sighed.

"You need to eat."

"I'll throw up." I stated.

"Baby.." He whispered.

"I want to be alone."

He sighed and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I'll be back in an hour, okay? Take a nap."

Alex had closed all the curtains in the room and turned the air conditioning on so it was dark and cold because he knew that's how I liked it. He set my phone next to me, so I didn't have to move that much to reach it.

He put one of my dad's shirts on me and, obviously, I started crying when I smelled his scent. I don't know how I could've ever fallen asleep, but I did once Alex left.

"Dad!" I called out.

"Jamie, buddy, how was school?" My father asked me, picking my 8-year-old body up.

"It was g-good! I missed you!" I cried.

"I missed you too, buddy. How about we go play video games in the basement?"

"Yes!"

He ran me to the the basement and set me down on the couch while he set up the video game. He handed me my favorite purple controller. Once he sat down on the couch, he pulled me into his lap.

"W-what do I d-do?" I asked with my stupid stutter.

"Get in that truck," he said, pointing to the TV. "and drive on that trail thing."

"O-okay."

"James!" I heard my mom call.

I knew what that meant. My father was going to be leaving me soon. His job demanded him working long hours and being called in at random times when he was a trauma surgeon.

"Dad, n-no!" I yelled, looking up at him.

He looked down at me with a sigh. "Buddy, you know my job keeps me busy. I promise that we'll finish this game once I get back, but someone else needs me."

"I need you, D-Dad!" I yelled, getting off of his lap.

"Jamie, you're not hurt." He whispered to me.

"Yes, I a-am. You're hurting me, Dad. You k-keep leaving me and it hurts me." I told him, crossing my little arms.

"Don't make me feel bad about leaving, Jamie. I have to save someone's life right now. I promise to come back and play this game with you."

I ran up the stairs, completely ignoring what he was saying. I ran behind my mother's legs because she was in the kitchen. I heard my dad coming up the stairs of the basement.

"What's going on?" Mom asked.

"Jamie doesn't want me to leave." Dad whispered to her.

"Jamie, you know that what your dad does is very important to everyone. He's saving lives." Mom said, looking down at me.

"H-he's mean! He keeps leaving m-me!" I yelled.

"Buddy, I wouldn't leave if it wasn't so important." Dad said to me.

"Aren't I i-important?"

"Of course you are, but you're not hurt right now. I need to go and save lives right now. You should understand, Jamie. I love you, but-" He started.

"I hate you!"

I shot up in bed with tears and sweat mixing together on my skin. I tried to suppress a sob, but it came out louder than expected. I hid my face in my hands as I heard running throughout Alex's house.

The door opened and Alex ran over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back-and-forth. "You're okay."

"H-he's gone." I said through my sobs.

"I know, baby, I know."

"I told him I hated him." I whispered, gripping Alex's shirt in my hands.

"When?" He whispered.

"When I was eight and he was leaving to go to work and from then, I kept saying it every time he left me when he promised to hang out with me. The night he.."

"The night he died." He finished for me.

"That night.. he got called into the clothing store he worked in because he needed to cover someone's shift until the store closed. I told him that I h-hated him because he was leaving me, yet another time."

"Oh, baby." He whispered, tightening his grip on me.

"H-he helped me fix my stutter when I was nine. He didn't like that I was being b-bullied for it, so he took me to a speech therapist to help me."

"What else did your dad do?"

"H-he got fired from the hospital when a patient died under his watch. It was basically his fault. He was upset for a few months before he started to interview at random places. He got a job as a cashier at a designer clothing store."

"Is that when you started to get into clothes?"

"Y-yeah, he brought clothes home for me because he got a free item every month."

"Jamie, what can I do to help you?"

"Lay with me." I whispered.

He nodded, laying down with his arms around my waist. He put his head in my hair, inhaling my scent. "Tell me more about your dad."

I sighed. "He knew I was gay before I did."

"What?"

"One night, he came home from the store he worked at. He sat me down in the basement and told me that I shouldn't be living in denial anymore."

"How'd he know?"

I chuckled. "I was extremely flamboyant. It was obvious, but I was in the denial stage, so I hid it from everyone. He told me to get out there and tell the world that I was gay."

"What'd you do?"

"I told him that I didn't want too. He told me that if I did, he would help me get boys." I said, chuckling through tears that were in my eyes.

Alex gave me a sympathetic look and ran his hand through my hair. "What happened?"

"I came out the next day and he took me to a gay club, but don't tell anyone. My mom isn't supposed to know." I said, whispering the last part.

He chuckled. "Okay, so what happened at the club?"

"He flirted with guys for me. He wanted me to be confident in myself, so he pretended to be gay for me. He found a guy around my age that was faking his age in that bar too."

"Then?"

"I took him to the bathroom and was given my very first blowjob."

He laughed and kissed my cheek. "What'd you tell your dad?"

"I told him exactly what happened. I told him that the guy sucked my dick and I loved it."

He chuckled. "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"My dad took me to a club about every month after my first time. He never let me drink, thankfully, but I had fun."

"That's amazing."

"He made me stop a few months before he.. d-died," Alex nodded to me, telling me to continue. "because he told me that I was going to find my mate soon and I didn't want to seem like a slut when I met him."

He nodded. "Well, I thank your dad."

I looked down at the blanket and nodded. "I d-do too."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"I-I just want him back." I whispered, digging my head into his chest.

"If I could bring him back, I would. I would in a heartbeat." He whispered, kissing my forehead.

I started to sob into his chest and he calmed me down by slightly rocking me and whispering calming words into my ear. I stopped crying and lifted my face from his chest. He leaned down and gave me the softest kiss we've shared.

"C-can we do something?" I whispered.

"Like what, baby?"

"Do you have alcohol or something like that?"

He looked down at me. "You? Drinking?"

"I just need something to take my mind off of it."

"Have you ever gotten drunk before?" He asked in confusion.

"I'm 18-years-old, Alex. I'm not a child. Of course I have." I said, chuckling.

"Well, we can go to Matthew and Jack's house and take shots."

"They don't drink since they became alphas, remember?"

"I think they'll make an exception." He whispered.

"Really?"

"Yeah, let's go."

He helped me stand up. He watched me as I slipped black joggers on and my Birkenstocks. He grabbed my hand as we walked out of the house and to Matthew's house.

"Won't his parents be home?" I asked Alex.

"No, his parents are staying at the apartment this week for some privacy. Matthew was bragging about it to me."

"Well, it's not like your parents are ever really home and Izzy usually stays out late, so we're usually alone too."

"Exactly what I said." He said with a smirk.

"Oh, okay."

"I don't like when you're not flamboyant, Jamie." He whispered.

I looked up at him and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just not myself today."

"I know, I know. It's not your fault, so you don't need to apologize."

We walked into Matthew's house and him and Jack were sitting on the couch, watching TV while cuddling. They both looked up when we walked in.

"Hey, what's up?" Matthew asked, confused. They know what today is and I don't think they were expecting me to get out of bed all day.

"We came to steal some of your alcohol and see if you wanted to get blackout drunk with us."

Matthew and Jack smiled. Matt stood up and motioned for Alex to follow him. My mate kissed my cheek before following the alpha out of the room. Jack stood up and pulled me into a hug.

"How're you doing?"

"F-fine, I guess. It's just hard day. I want to forget everything for a little bit."

"Yeah, yeah, I completely understand." He whispered to me.

Alex and Matt came back into the room with four shot glasses and a bottle of tequila. Matt sat down on the couch and pulled me onto his lap. Matt sat next to Jack and started to pour us each a shot.

We did shot after shot until we were all pretty drunk and music was blasting from the speaker in the corner. Jack and Matt had moved to the other room and we guessed that they were making out or sucking each other off by now.

Alex had a very high alcohol tolerance, so he wasn't as drunk as me yet. I was a very, very horny and giggly drunk. My mate seemed to be enjoying it, so I was happy about that.

I moved over and grabbed his earlobe with my teeth. He chuckled and moved his head to the side, so I had access to his neck. I started to suck on it immediately and he moaned.

"Jamie, s-stop." He whispered.

I groaned as I picked my head up and looked at my mate. "But..I love you." I slurred.

"I love you too, but we shouldn't be doing this."

"We should because...we're mates...and I miss you."

"I miss you too, Jamie, but we can wait."

"I...can't." I slurred.

"Baby, let's not do anything in a house that isn't ours." He whispered.

"You won't...even need to do...anything! I can...do...all the work." I slurred, setting my hand on his crotch.

He sighed and pushed me away a little. "Jamie, no, we can't."

"Please, baby, I'll love you...forever." I whispered, then lifted myself up to straddle his body. I started to kiss his neck again and he sighed. He stood up, which slid me off of him. He caught me and dragged me somewhere in the house.

I stumbled while walking and he chuckled. Once he set me on the counter of Matt's bathroom, he locked the door. He walked back over to me with a smirk.

"Let's do this quickly, Jamie."