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Chapter 30-The Declaration

Miranda Barone's POV

Days have passed and Slade's nightmares were getting worse. It came to the point that he wouldn't even go to bed with me. Every time, I questioned him about it, Slade would keep his mouth shut or distract me with his kisses.

But I knew he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want to let me in. And me being in love with him? It hurt. It hurt so bad that it felt like someone was squeezing my heart every time he shut me out. In a way, it was like a rejection. It felt like a rejection.

It was one of the worst things to see someone you care and love be in so much pain and you couldn't even help. Now, Slade played the piano even more often and it seemed that he was pouring out his emotions and thoughts through the melodies.

It was ironic. Being his girlfriend, he should be able to speak to me about his problems but instead he shares it with his piano.

It was worse because when Slade played the piano, the songs or melodies he play would be hauntingly sorrowful. And my heart would hurt even more from the emotional pain Slade was going through. The best part? Slade never played the piano in front of me.

He would always play it when I wasn't home. I only knew about it if I came home early and find him playing away. And if he caught me watching him, he would stop and usher me away. I honestly didn't know what to do.

Thus, I was going to use my last resort, I would talk to Grayson and I would find out what was Slade keeping from me.

***

I slid into the diner seat waiting for Grayson. I had begged Mark to let me know where he was staying and after a few bribes and pleads, Mark had given in. Most probably due to the begging expressions I had given him. It turns out that Grayson was staying in a hotel about fifteen minutes away from my apartment.

I had went to said hotel and left a message for him to meet me for lunch at a diner which was a five minute walk away from his hotel. I didn't know if he would show up. But the receptionist at the hotel had informed me that he had received my message.

Mark was my only bodyguard for now considering Tony would strongly disapprove of this meeting. Thus, I had assured him that I was only visiting Alexi thus only Mark was needed. I know lying is bad but I would do it for Slade. So for now, Mark was waiting outside the diner inconspicuously having a smoke.

I chewed on my lip and fiddled with my fingers as I waited for Grayson. Soon enough, a familiar blonde came in and it still took my breath away to see Slade's face on Grayson. His facial expression was blank but his blue eyes were filled with wariness and a hint of curiosity.

He slid into the seat opposite me and greeted politely. "Miranda isn't it?" I nodded, "Yes. I'm glad that you actually came to meet up with me."

"I'm curious? Did my brother send you as a trap to get rid of me once and for all?" He questioned with a jerk to his head to gesture where Mark was. I slumped my shoulders, I thought Mark was being inconspicuous.

Again, why did Grayson seem to expect Slade to kill him? "No. Slade doesn't know I'm here." I confessed and Grayson studied me with one of his brows raised. "Now, I am curious, why did you ask me to meet you?"

I chewed my lip and met his waiting stare. "I'm worried about Slade. Ever since you turned up, he's been having these nightmares and he won't tell me what's going on. I just want to know what problems the both of you have. So I maybe can help."

Grayson watched me, his face blank before speaking, "You want to know why we are feuding? If my brother has not told you a single thing, why would I want to risk my life even further by telling you things that he doesn't wish for you to know?"

"Please, I'm just really worried about him, he's drinking excessively, he can't sleep from the nightmares and I don't know how to help him." I begged, my eyes welling up in tears. Love kinda sucked at times, it's making me cry and I hardly ever cry.

Grayson flinched from the sight of me near to tears. Funny, he doesn't even show emotion when Slade points a gun to him, but he seems uncomfortable that I was about to cry in front of him.

He sighs heavily before glancing out of the window. "All you need to know is that my brother has every right to want to kill me. I've done something that is unforgivable and selfish and that is why I'm not afraid if Sebastian wishes to get rid of me. He has every right to do so."

Ugh, now I was curious as hell. I really wanted to know what was between Slade and Grayson. Grayson made it seem bad and maybe it was, considering the fact that Slade's reactions were to the extreme. "Oh. But that doesn't give me a a single clue on how to help Slade."

Grayson clenches his jaw and for a moment, he looked exactly how Slade would look like if he was uncomfortable minus his gelled up hair and build. "All I can say is just be there for him like how you are now. He may try to push you away but you just have to be there for him. To be honest Miranda, I suspected that you were with my brother because of his looks or money but this meeting proved me wrong."

I stared at him speechless and he sighs again, "From that meeting with my brother at your home, I can see that he cares for you a lot and you him. I'm sorry but I honestly can't tell you anything. You just have to wait for my brother to tell you. It has been nice meeting you Miranda." He gives me a nod and leaves.

I sighed defeatedly as I slumped back into the diner chair, this meeting was almost fruitless.

***

I entered the apartment and turned around to put my keys away and froze. Slade was waiting for me with a murderous expression on his face. "Were you really at Barone's?" He demanded and I bit my lip before sighing. "No, I was with Grayson."

Slade clenched his jaw before staring me down, "I know that. I just wanted to see if you were telling the truth." I thinned my lips and glared at him, "I have never given you the opportunity to doubt me. Why now? Is it because Grayson showed up?" I was angry, he made it seem that I always lied to him which I did not.

"You went to see him after I told you to stop fucking prying." He gritted out lowly, his muscular build filled with tension. "I'm sorry I lied okay? But I'm just so worried about you. I had to know why were you so affected by him. It doesn't matter anyway, he didn't say a thing."

He narrows his eyes at me, fists clenching. "I told you to stop digging didn't I? I don't want you to know a single thing. Wasn't it clear enough for your pretty little head to understand that?" He mocks and my heart ached from his scorn.

"I have done absolutely nothing to make you angry at me! Well except for the lie and I know you want me to stop asking. But I can't. It's making me really upset that you won't even let me know anything about you. I'm your girlfriend aren't I? Don't you think that I deserve that much?" I demanded as I questioned.

Slade stares at me silently. After a moment, he started speaking coldly, "Then maybe we shouldn't be together anymore."

Immediately, my heart felt like it got stabbed. "What?" I breathed out, my brain not really able to actually digest the words that came out from his mouth.

"We should stop seeing each other, maybe then, you wouldn't try to be my fucking psychologist. I don't need that in my life twenty-four-seven." He bit out and I took a step back, hurt filling every inch of my body. A tear fell and rolled down my cheek. Great I didn't even know I was going to cry.

Slade watched me coldly and I would have left if I hadn't seen that flash of regret in his blue eyes. It became so clear to me, Slade was trying again to push me away from him. I didn't know why but I wasn't going to let it happen. "You're pushing me away Slade. Don't." I took a step towards him and he corners me against the wall, glaring at me.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" He demands and I looked at him, my eyes softening, "Do you really want me to leave you alone?" I ask and Slade stares at me, "Yes." I stared into his eyes but those blue orbs of his were pleading for me not to leave him. "Liar." I breathed out.

He presses me against the wall both of his hands caging me in. "Don't you see? This is the real me! I am the monster that the people in Chicago fear!" He shouts as he slams his hands against the wall, making the paintings on them shudder from the force.

"You don't scare me." I said firmly and he moves away from me. "Did you know what my grandfather did to my grandmother?" I remained silent, waiting for Slade to finish. "He used her as a punching bag and she was his lab rat for new drugs in the market. It isn't that much of a surprise she died before turning forty. My father abused my mother, emotionally, physically and verbally. She died when I was fourteen. In fact, she was thankful that she died." He finished mockingly.

I remained silent but I couldn't believe that Slade's mother had been abused. He stops pacing around and stops to stand in front of me. "The males in my family always abuse their wives or female companions. It's a family curse. So I suggest you leave me before I could hurt you. Now that you get it, will you fucking leave?!"

"You don't scare me Slade. Do you really expect me to believe you would hurt me intentionally?" I questioned. Slade clenched his jaw before turning away, "I don't know. But I will not wait until that day comes where I do."

I move towards him and cup his cheek, "You won't hurt me Slade. I know you won't. You're not your father. I know you. How could the same person who cares so much for me and shows it through his actions hurt me? I know you won't Slade."

His body posture changes and he stares at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "Why are you so stubborn Mel?" He says quietly before continuing as he turned away from me, "Just leave me be. Please." All traces of his anger was gone and now a broken and sorrowful man was left in its wake.

My heart nearly broke for him and I shook my head, "I won't leave you Slade. I lo-" I cut myself off before I could make a fool of myself. Now was definitely not the right time to say that. I was thankful that Slade didn't seem to hear that part, he was all lost in his own world.

"Do you know what I've learnt recently? That when you love someone, you put their needs above yours. I love you Mel. So much. So I'm sacrificing my happiness for your well being even though I don't want you to leave me." Slade said as a tear fell from his eye and it rolled down his cheek and he looked at me with so much hurt and sorrow his blue eyes that my heart seem to break for him.

My heart leaped with joy at his confession of his feelings for me. Slade loved me! I couldn't believe it! But the down side was that he was still trying to push me away! My lower lip trembled and I held back the tears, "No, you can't make me leave. I love you Slade. I. Love. You. I believe that you will not hurt me." I say seriously, doing my best to pour out all the feelings and emotions I had for this man with my words and tone.

He stares at me stunned and another tear fell onto his cheek before he suddenly roared, "I'm broken! There's nothing left for you to fix! Just fucking leave!" He smashes a vase from the table but I ignore it and I responded gently. "I love you Slade, nothing can change that." He stares at me as another tear rolled down his face. "You're too good for me Mel. I'm just like my father. I'm a monster just like him." He says quietly as he looks at me. I pulled him into my arms as I hugged him tightly feeling the shudders in his form as I hugged him.

"You're not him Slade. You truly don't see it don't you? If you were really like your father, you would've hurt me by now." I say softly and caressed the side of his face. Slade doesn't say a thing and he hugs me back tightly as if he was trying to prevent me from walking away from him if I changed my mind about staying with him.

"Did you really mean it?" He questions as he pulled away slightly. I frown for a while not understanding his question before answering, "I do Slade. I love you. I have for quite some time." I say softly with a smile on my face as I stroked his cheek tenderly.

He shut his eyes and held me tightly, relishing the moment. "I love you too Mel." He murmurs and his mouth landed on mine softly.

This kiss was definitely different from the others we shared. Maybe it was because we had declared that we loved each other. Whatever it was, it made the kiss so much more sweeter and memorable. I kissed him back eagerly, trying to show how much I loved him through the kiss. The way Slade kissed me was like as if I was the most precious thing he owned and I loved it.

Slade's hand cupped my left cheek as he kissed me lovingly, the other snaked around my waist. My hands were wrapped around his neck tightly, as if he was the only thing that anchored me from the many emotions I was feeling.

Soon enough, lust and passion came into the kiss and he hoisted me up his body and I wrapped my legs around his hips. His hands left my face and waist, moving down to my ass to support me before pressing my back against the wall as we continued to make out.

He ground against me and I could feel his desire for me against the apex of my legs. A thought entered my mind and I pulled away from him and breathed out. "You are going to tell me about your childhood and this thing you have with Grayson right?"

Slade shoots me a flat look and stares at me, "Yes I will. But not tonight. I don't want that to taint what we're doing now."

I snaked my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me until his erection was against me. "Good. Just to clarify, we are going to have sex aren't we?" I asked coyly and ground myself against him.

Slade groans and replies, his voice husky from lust. "No. We're not having sex." I opened my mouth to argue and Slade covered my mouth with his hand.

"Because we're going make love." With that, his lips crashed against mine.

***

A/N: Hey guys. Whooo. I hope this chapter meets your expectations because it was so hard to write it. AHAHA I hope that you guys cried because I did. If you did cry, let me know. AHAHA it boosts my writing ego. Kidding but seriously let me know.

I know some of you are impatient to know what the bloody hell is going on and I'm here to say that everything will be revealed in the next chapter. Including the ahem PG13 sex scene. And again, vote and comment your thoughts on this chapter. I love knowing what are your thoughts on what is going on in the book. :)

Chapter dedicated to gaby_ester14. :)