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IRL
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↳"I HAVEN'T FELT CLOSE
TO YOU FOR A WHILE."

Chris's heart plummeted at the sight of Lovette's simmering anger, her eyes ablaze with a fire he had never seen before. The plate of cookies in his hand suddenly felt insignificant, unable to quell the storm brewing in her gaze. She radiated tension, her furrowed brow and deep frown revealing the depth of her frustration.

"What is this, Chris?" Lovette's voice cut through the air, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her arms were folded tightly across her chest, a defensive barrier that mirrored the walls she had put around her heart.

Chris's throat went dry, his mind scrambling for a coherent response. But the weight of her accusing gaze bore down on him like a leaden weight, stifling his ability to form words. Panic surged through him, a desperate urge to explain himself clawing at the edges of his consciousness. His mouth opened, but words failed him like a fish gasping for air. There was nothing he could say to—

"How do you know when your relationship isn't working?" Lovette's voice trembled as she listed the titles of the articles, her tone laden with accusation. "Signs your relationship is failing."

Each word landed with heavy emphasis, punctuating the tension in the room.

"Knowing when to let go." The words hung in the air, spoken with a tremor that mirrored the turmoil in Lovette's voice.

As Chris stood there, his mind raced, desperately grasping for words to diffuse the mounting tension. Lovette's accusatory tone pierced through him, each syllable driving the wedge deeper between them.

"How did you find those?" He hurriedly asked.

Lovette scoffed, "You left the tabs open."

"I... I can explain," Chris stammered, his voice faltering under the weight of Lovette's scrutiny.

But Lovette's eyes, once filled with warmth, now smouldered with disappointment. "Explain what, Chris? Explain why you're searching for signs that our relationship is failing?" Her voice trembled with hurt and frustration.

Chris felt a lump form in his throat, his chest tightening with the weight of her words. "I wasn't searching for signs... I was just..." His voice trailed off, lost in the suffocating silence that enveloped them.

But Lovette's patience had worn thin. "Just what, Chris? Just trying to find a reason to give up on us?" Her voice cracked with emotion, the rawness of her pain echoing in the room.

Chris watched helplessly as Lovette rose from the chair, her movements deliberate as she turned away from him.

Without another word, she headed for the door, her steps echoing in the room's silence. Chris's heart raced as he watched her leave, a sinking feeling settling in his stomach.

"Lovette, wait," Chris called out, his voice pleading as he rushed after her. With hurried steps, he rushed after her, his heart racing with a desperation he couldn't contain.

But Lovette's resolve remained unyielding as she stepped outside into the cool night air. Chris followed closely behind, the distance between them growing with each hurried step.

"Lovette, please," Chris implored, his voice strained with the weight of his inadequacy as he reached out to halt her departure.

She paused, hesitating against the tug of her emotions, allowing him to bridge the gap between them.

"I never pictured myself dating anyone. I always thought I'd live with Nick and Matt forever," Chris admitted, his voice tinged with a vulnerability born of youth and uncertainty. The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, each syllable a testament to the turmoil churning within him. "Sometimes, I don't know what to do in relationships. Or say. I'm not good at this."

In the dim light, Lovette could sense the struggle etched into Chris's features, revealing more than words ever could.

"It's harder than I thought it would be," he continued, the admission laden with a raw honesty that bordered on confession. His voice was fragile, a delicate balance between fear and longing, as if teetering on the edge of a precipice he couldn't see beyond. "Tell me what to do to make things right."

Her silence spoke volumes, a heavy shroud of disappointment draped over their fractured connection.

"I am so tired of being your relationship tutor," Lovette's voice cut through the night, frustration dripping from every word as if she'd finally reached the end of her rope.

Chris's heart sank, the weight of her words crushing any hope of reconciliation.

She softened a bit, her eyes reflecting a mix of exhaustion and longing. Stepping back, she let the space between them widen, "I'm gonna head home. I need some space right now," she murmured, her voice tinged with resignation.

With each word she spoke, Chris felt the ground shifting beneath him, the certainty of their relationship slipping through his fingers like sand.

"I love you," Chris blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation, clinging to the hope that his words could somehow bridge the growing divide.

A wave of nausea washed over Chris at her silence, the absence of those three simple words carving a hollow ache in his chest. She always said it back. Always.

"I love you," Lovette finally replied, the words hanging like a fragile promise.

With a heavy heart, she turned away, leaving Chris to wrestle with the reality of what just happened.

As the night wore on, Chris found himself periodically checking his phone, hoping for some sign of communication from Lovette. Each notification that popped up brought a surge of anticipation followed by crushing disappointment as he realized it wasn't her. Eventually, exhaustion settled over him like a heavy blanket, pulling him into bed with a weariness that matched the weight in his heart. He tossed and turned, the events of the evening replaying in his mind like a broken record, each moment etched with pain and regret.

Morning came too soon, the first rays of sunlight filtering through the blinds to illuminate the room in a soft, melancholy glow. Chris blinked away the remnants of sleep, his chest still heavy from remembering Lovette's request for space. Dragging himself out of bed, he shuffled through the motions of getting ready for the day, each movement mechanical and devoid of the usual spark of energy. Breakfast was a tasteless affair, the food sitting heavy in his stomach as he mulled over the shattered pieces of his relationship.

With a heavy sigh, he reached for his phone once more, hoping against hope for some sign of reconciliation, some glimmer of hope to chase away the shadows that threatened to consume him.

Matt observed Chris's plate, still relatively full despite his attempts to eat, and noticed how his Pepsi remained unopened. He couldn't help but see how Chris seemed to be merely pushing the food around as if eating had become a chore rather than a pleasure.

"You good?" Matt inquired, his concern evident in his tone as he eyed Chris's lacklustre meal.

Chris brushed off the question, his mind preoccupied with the weight of what he needed to discuss. "Is Lea busy? I need to talk to both of you. And Nick. And also Kalani— if she's not busy with filming," he added hastily, his voice tinged with urgency.

Arched eyebrows betrayed Matt's curiosity as he absorbed Chris's request. "Lea's dropping by around noon. What's this about?" Matt probed, sensing the gravity behind Chris's words.

Chris let out a heavy sigh, finally conceding defeat to his appetite as he pushed his unfinished plate away. "Something happened with Lovette," he confessed. He offered no further explanation, his lips pressed into a thin line, signalling to Matt that further inquiries could wait until the others were present.

The clock ticked closer to noon and Chris found himself pacing the confines of his room, the weight of impending conversation pressing down on him like a lead blanket. Each minute seemed to drag on endlessly, amplifying the tension coiled tightly within him. Lea arrived promptly with Matt, the pair's presence a comforting anchor amid Chris's turmoil.

Nick appeared next, his easygoing demeanour a stark contrast to the gravity of the situation that he was unaware of. Meanwhile, Kalani's face flickered to life on Chris's laptop screen, her image transmitted from halfway across the world. Despite the physical distance due to her filming schedule, her warm smile bridged the gap, offering a semblance of unity amidst the digital divide.

With everyone assembled, Chris took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation that needed to be had.  As Chris recounted the events with Lovette, Matt's expression shifted from curiosity to concern, his brow furrowing with worry as he listened intently. Leanna, sitting beside him, mirrored his reaction. Nick's reaction was more pronounced, his jaw tightening imperceptibly as he absorbed Chris's words.

Amidst the solemn air in Chris's room, Nick's question cut through the silence like a sharp blade, his tone tinged with a mix of curiosity and concern.

"Why were you looking that up?" Nick's voice carried a weight of suspicion, his eyes fixed on Chris, probing for answers. "Are you planning on breaking up with her?"

Chris felt the words hit him like a sudden gust of wind, unsettling and unexpected. He shook his head vehemently, his response coming out in a rush, almost defensive. "Of course not!"

Leanna, sitting close beside Matt on Chris's bed, shifted slightly, her expression a mixture of apprehension and empathy. "If I saw that in Matt's history, I'd think he was gonna break up with me."

Chris's brows furrowed, a knot of frustration tightening in his chest. "But I'm not. I wasn't even planning on it."

Matt, leaning against the headboard, exchanged a glance with Leanna, his expression a blend of understanding and concern."How is she supposed to know that?"

Chris ran a hand through his hair, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "Maybe if she just talked to me?" His words came out sharper than he intended, laced with a touch of bitterness.

"I don't think it's crazy that she asked for space," Kalani's voice, coming through the phone screen. "The last girl I dated made this huge gesture for me then broke up with me the next day. It's a lot to deal with emotionally."

Lea's eyes softened with empathy, her gaze flickering between Chris and the digital image of Kalani on the screen. "Sometimes, space can be a good thing," she offered gently, "It gives both people a chance to breathe, to reassess what they want and need."

Nick nodded in agreement, his expression thoughtful as he absorbed Lea's words. "Yeah, sometimes you don't realize how much you need space until you have it," he mused, his tone reflective.

"I don't want space—I want her."

Matt swiftly replied, "It's not about what you want right now. It's about what she asked of you. Right now, she asked for space."

With a heavy sigh, Chris rubbed at his temples, feeling the weight of the conversation settling like a leaden burden around his shoulders. He understood that there were no easy solutions or quick fixes to mend the fractures in their relationship. Before he realized it, Kalani had mentioned she needed to head back to work, and one by one, the others had quietly filed out of his room. Matt and Leanna exchanged empathetic glances, their silent support a comforting presence. Nick had offered some words of reassurance, something along the lines of 'things will work themselves out.'

And just like that, Chris found himself alone with his thoughts. It was a prospect he dreaded, knowing that every avenue of his mind led back to Lovette. He couldn't shake the image of her distressed expression when she saw the articles, or the heaviness in her voice when she expressed her need for space. With his departure for California looming, he couldn't help but wonder if they would have a chance to talk before he left. Doubt crept in, weaving its tendrils around his mind, questioning every word spoken and every action taken. Could he have handled the situation differently? Was there any chance of salvaging what they had?

Chris sank onto the edge of his bed, his fingers tracing aimless patterns on the worn fabric of the comforter. He longed for clarity, for some semblance of understanding. His phone rang beside him, and heaving a resigned sigh, Chris reached over to answer it without bothering to check the caller ID.

"Yeah?" Chris's voice was tinged with a hint of annoyance, his patience worn thin from the day's events.

"Do you want to order food or go out for dinner?" Nick asked from the other side of the line.

Chris's irritation softened slightly, replaced by a begrudging acknowledgment of Nick's attempt to involve him in their plans. "I don't mind, you can choose."

"Alright, if you're sure."

With a curt goodbye, Chris ended the call, his mind already drifting back to the unresolved tension between him and Lovette. But before he could dwell on it any further, his phone rang again, the familiar ringtone cutting through the silence of his room.

Without hesitation, Chris answered, his tone brusque and impatient. "Look, Nick, I already told you—"

But the voice on the other end of the line was not Nick's. It was softer, tinged with a hint of vulnerability that sent a shiver down Chris's spine.

"Chris, it's me," came Lovette's voice, "Can we talk?"

His back straightened as if she could see him. "Yes, of course."

"I'm outside," Lovette reveals.

Chris's heart leaped into his throat at Lovette's words, a rush of anticipation flooding his senses. "I'll be right there," he replied, his voice tinged with urgency.

With a quick goodbye, Chris ended the call and sprang to his feet, a surge of adrenaline coursing through him. He hurriedly made his way to the front door, his movements fueled by a mix of excitement and apprehension.

Throwing open the door, Chris stepped outside, his eyes scanning the familiar surroundings until they landed on Lovette standing on the sidewalk. Without a word, Chris crossed the distance between them, his heart pounding in his chest with each step. As he drew closer, he could see the traces of tears glistening in Lovette's eyes.

"Lovie," Chris breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he reached out to gently cup her cheek. "Are you okay?"

Lovette's gaze met his, her eyes searching his face for answers. "I just... I needed to see you," she admitted, her voice barely audible.

Chris felt a lump form in his throat at her words, a swell of emotion threatening to overwhelm him. He had missed her more than he cared to admit, and seeing her now, standing before him, reignited a spark of hope within him that he had thought extinguished.

"Come inside," Chris urged softly, taking her hand in his and leading her into the warmth of his home. "We can talk."

As they ascended the stairs in silence, Chris's mind raced with a flurry of anxious thoughts. Each step felt heavier than the last.

Maybe she wanted to break up?

The thought made a cold knot of dread tighten in the pit of his stomach. The mere idea of losing Lovette sent waves of nausea washing over him, but he knew deep down that if that's what she wanted, he would learn to accept it.

It's not like he would have a choice.

With a heavy heart and a resolute spirit, Chris prepared himself for whatever awaited them when they entered his room. The door clicked shut behind them, sealing them in a cocoon of tension. His gaze lingered on Lovette, standing across from him, adorned in one of his sweatshirts.

'That's a good sign. No girl wears her soon-to-be ex-boyfriend's clothes when breaking up, right?' he thought to himself, a glimmer of hope flickering in the recesses of his mind.

"Lovette, I'm so sorry," Chris began, his voice laced with sincerity as he took a tentative step toward her.

"For getting caught or looking it up?" Lovette's voice cut through the air.

"Both," Chris admitted, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words to convey the depth of his remorse. "It was so stupid. I should have just talked to you."

"Is that why you planned that trip? To see if there was anything left to save?"

"No," Chris hurriedly answered, his words tumbling out in a rush. "I did it because I wanted to spend time with just you. Without either of us having to worry about work or school. Yeah, a part of me wanted to prove those articles wrong, but—"

Lovette pursed her lips, her expression unreadable. "So they had hints of truth."

Chris hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor. "No—"

But Lovette raised an eyebrow, her silent insistence prompting him to continue.

"Okay, maybe some parts?" Chris admitted reluctantly, the weight of his confession hanging heavy in the air. "I love you, Lovie, and I want to make this work."

"How can we?" Lovette questioned, her voice trembling with emotion, tears glistening in her eyes. "I haven't felt close to you in a while."

Chris felt a pang of sorrow pierce his heart at her words, the realization of his shortcomings weighing heavily upon him. But all he could muster was a simple, "I know, and I'm sorry for that."

"Well, I'm sorry for the 'relationship tutor' comment, it wasn't nice—or fair. In relationships, you need to ask what the other needs. You can't read my mind," taking a deep breath, Lovette continued, her voice steady despite the tears lingering on her cheeks. "I miss how things used to be."

Chris squeezed her hand gently, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "It's ok, I miss it too. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild that."

Lovette sighed, "So, where do we go from here?"

Chris's heart raced as he grappled with Lovette's question. He searched for the right words, the ones that would bridge the gap between them that he failed to notice.

"I don't know," Chris confessed, his voice earnest yet cautious. "But, we'll figure it out, ok?"

Lovette nodded slowly, her gaze softening as she absorbed his words. "Okay," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "But it won't be easy."

Chris reached out, gently brushing a stray tear from Lovette's cheek. "I know," he admitted, his emotions threatening to surface.

A flicker of hope danced in Lovette's eyes as she met Chris's gaze. "Okay," she said softly, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Okay, let's try."

With relief washing over him, Chris pulled Lovette into his arms, holding her close as if afraid she might slip away.

Because in all honesty, he thinks she might.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

hi everyone!

I'm really trying to write angst but i feel like I'm bad at it lmaoo

so sorry i haven't updated in like a month school has been really busy

hope you enjoyed!

until next time <3!